i went to bed at 4am because of this.

"Christine, there's literally not even a fucking tree!"

"Robert. I know we're not very devout Catholics, but that kind of language is just unacceptable around this time of year—"

"You do know you brought the resident Buddhist, right. You know that's a thing."

"Robert, so help me, I will let Daniel touch each and every one of your presents if you do not behave this instant."

That made him go silent.

Rob Miller could not believe he was spending Christmas Eve dinner with his entire family at his grandmother's house. (Well, not his entire family; Rick was still nowhere to be found, and honestly, Rob couldn't fault him for the decision.) He didn't feel strongly either way about hanging out with Melanie and Tommy, and Christine was just fine to be around when she wasn't sticking up for the creep, but when said creep was at dinner…

Nu-uh. Nope. Jax might be getting a roommate under that depressing-ass coffee table.

Currently he and his mother were holed up in the guest room of Nana Miller's extensive house; because apparently she was still in contact with her son and, through whatever job he had secured in Missouri, now had the means to renovate. The room smelled like lavender and disappointment. Rob knew as soon as they left the room the scent of his older brother would invade his nostrils, the perv.

Christine grabbed Rob by the arm and yanked the door open, pulling him along after her. Yep: Daniel. While Rob coughed and his nose wrinkled, he thought once more about his father. If he hadn't ricked, then Nana wouldn't have felt sympathetic to the state of the Miller family household, and this whole family dinner wouldn't have been happening. As some kind of sick joke, Rob thought, she believed this would help their family.

As if including Daniel in anything would help.

Christine finally let go of his arm when they passed the grand staircase, but Rob's relief was short when a loud, uncomfortable sound floated out from the next room. Mother and son shared a look before sprinting into the dining room, the identical concern etched onto their faces deepening when they arrived.

"What the fuc—hell are you doing to my siblings?" Rob accused Daniel, completely disregarding he was related to him. As he should.

Daniel wasn't near Melanie, but there was just too little space between him and Tommy to make anyone, especially the young boy, feel safe. Daniel sneezed and fell backwards in his chair a moment later. "Go on Tom, tell 'em how we were chatting about girls," he said from the floor with faux suavity.

Tommy shrugged, only slight discomfort showing on his face. "We were, but he was mostly saying how Emma isn't looking like one and has been 'packing on them pregnancy pounds.'"

Christine's face was ashen, but she knelt down next to her . . . son and helped him and the chair up. "Sweetie, why don't we move further down the table, huh? Nana has twelve seats."

Rob pulled out a seat and tilted his head toward it. "You'll sit here, Christine. Several seats away from him."

Melanie frowned and chose to overlook Rob's intelligent command, resituating herself in her seat across from Tom. "I don't understand why. I know she gets lots of money from Dad now, but is a huge dining room really necessary when we barely come over?"

"You don't know what kind of social events she might like to throw, Melanie," Christine chastised, placing Daniel in a seat. An uneasy feeling washed over her when he sighed when she didn't immediately remove her hands from his shoulders. "I'll just go wash up and then help Nana bring the food in," she improvised, repressing a shiver. Maybe Francisco (and everyone else) could openly fear her eldest son, but she felt obligated to hide it. She was his mother, after all.

She fixed Rob with a pointed look as she left, hoping he understood to hold down the fort but not be himself while he did it.

He didn't.

"You didn't have to come," he said frankly, staring at Daniel with his eyes open as much as he could handle. Curse Nana for having too many windows letting in natural light.

Daniel snorted and shifted in his seat, making noises. "Ribby, Mom was coming. Of course I had to." He waggled one eyebrow at his brother, SOMEHOW.

Tommy glanced at his good siblings. "Guys. I'm scared again."

Melanie checked her notifications and sighed when she saw she had none. "Well Jonathan can't come later tonight to help trim the tree, so I am too."

Rob glared at the sole uncomfortable factor of every scenario, thankful for the decrease in vision. "Don't you have a girlfriend? Aren't you dating Mia? Or did you go back to Emma again?" He smirked at the face of absolute disgust on his brother.

Daniel gagged involuntarily, nearly upchucking all over the long-ass table. "First of all, if I get back with Fatso McGee, shoot me—"

"I'll do it right now—"

"And second," he continued, his hair moving on its own accord as usual. Tom looked green. "Shouldn't you be on my side of things by now? I mean, you have no girlfriend and no life and you've gotta be lonely, so when you cry while jerking aren't you thankful for our mo—"

Rob was just about to lunge across the table and punch him in the disgusting mouth when the older ladies reentered the room, carrying dishes upon dishes. Mel and Tom rose to help while Rob focused on the thing taking up the most space.

Nana looked around at her grandchildren—some quicker than others—and smiled happily, such a genuine smile that they all had to wonder for a moment if she was on something. Even Christine didn't feel like grinning that wide.

"Hope you all like turkey," Nana commented when she set it down, chuckling as if it were a hilarious joke she'd told.

"I prefer mine male," Daniel announced, sending chills up everyone's spines as to whatever the hell that meant.

Once the table was set and Daniel only smelled slightly burnt, everyone took their seats, Rob wearily. He knew it was going to be a sacrificial chore, but he wasn't planning on taking his eyes off of his older brother if it meant keeping his family safe.

Christine glanced around the table. "Would anyone like to say grace?"

Tom's face wrinkled in confusion. "But Mom, we never say grace."

"Thank Buddha," Daniel grumbled, although Rob doubted he even knew was 'saying grace' meant.

The rest of the family's jaws dropped, besides Nana Miller. She kept a blank face and bowed her head. "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for this meal before us and the closing of another wonderful year You have blessed us with. We pray for a year full of good health and family. We celebrate the birth of Christ today, and in the name of the Lord, Amen."

The Millers blinked, all having forgotten to close their eyes. "Amen," they muttered quickly, taking up their respective utensils.

Two minutes into the meal and Mel had barely touched her plate, Daniel had sneezed on his, and Rob was staring murderously at him when Nana Miller stood shakily.

"Nana, what are you doing?" Tom asked, setting his fork down with a puzzled look on his face.

She settled her shining eyes on him. "You'll see, my dear." To the rest of the group, she said, "I know this is a tad unusual for me, but I'm in a giving spirit this year, and I got you all an early Christmas gift."

Mel perked up and pushed her plate aside. "Ooh, okay. Is it one big thing or do we have individual gifts?"

Rob, who was seated closest to Nana Miller, turned and tilted his head up at her. Something about how she was acting today was . . . off. Not Daniel off, that was normal unfortunately, but off.

"Patricia, you really didn't have to—" Christine started, but Nana cut her off with a sharp look.

"Nonsense. It's the least I could do for family. Come on in!" she called out, eyes fixed on an unknown point down the hall.

Daniel sneezed again, snot dribbling down his chin in a very unappetizing way. Rob guessed there wasn't a good way to do so, but if there was, of fucking course Daniel hadn't found it. He shook his head in disgust.

And then Tom hurriedly stumbled out of his chair and ran around the table.

Christine's silverware clattered onto her plate. Slowly Nana Miller smiled.

Melanie gasped and covered her mouth. "Dad?"

The newly named Rick Marcello stood in all his now-stubbly glory in the doorway, light shining on him from the formal dining room's wall of windows as if he were the Messiah. Rob suspected that was why they were really in the dining room, and his heart thumped at the reality of the moment.

Rick looked good. Not clean shaven, but the tamed look still worked for him. He looked younger, somehow; figures, Rob realized, nearly rolling his eyes at the thought. How unfair.

"Son, I saved you a seat right over there by your wife," Nana Miller said calmly, her smug face showing everything. Daniel's face contorted dangerously at the mention of his parents' marriage.

Tom hopped into his father's arms and the sight was so warming to her heart that Christine started sobbing—happy tears for once, wet laughs peppered throughout.

"Good to see ya, little man," Rick said joyously, grinning down at his youngest son. "You're growing up so fast." He set Tom down and looked over his head at Rob. He nodded respectfully at the young man. "Robbie."

Rob held back a glare, feeling odd about his sudden animosity. "Rob."

Rick let Tom drag him by the hand toward the table, an eyebrow raised. "Pardon?"

Rob situated himself, stealing a weary glance at Daniel, but the perv almost looked like he'd fallen asleep. "It's Rob. I go by Rob now."

His father humored him and gave him an appraised look. "Ah. Good to know."

Nana Miller retook her seat as her son rejoined his family.

Rick smiled softly at Christine before turning to his daughter. "Mind passing the cranberries, Mel? Old man's gotta eat."

Still partially in shock, Mel's face glowed as she leaned to grab the requested food, looking like she'd just seen Santa on Christmas Day.

Daniel took this as an opportunity to place his danky legs on the table. The whole length of the table. His feet were by the mashed potatoes.

Tommy excused himself to the bathroom, looking green again.

Rick jerked his head in Tom's direction, suggesting, "Go check on your brother, will ya, Robbi—Rob?"

He appreciated the correction of his name, but Rob still didn't enjoy this. "I'm good right here, thanks."

"Robert, you could make sure he's alright," Christine chastised. Rob watched her arm stretch just far enough to realize she was holding hands with her husband. Nana Miller nodded approvingly and took a dainty bite of turkey.

He wasn't like Daniel, let's get that straight. He didn't have a hard-on for his mother. But seriously? Their father had been back for two minutes and already she was cozying up to him? "Could I, Christine? Could I?"

Rick's expression changed and he shifted toward his son. "Rob, that's no way to speak to your mother."

Daniel snorted, then let his face drop into his food. He mumbled something that sounded like, "Leaving is no way to love your family."

Rob had an odd moment of something akin to . . . admiration for his brother. He knew it would go away, but it was nice, for just a second, to know he wasn't the only one not okay with Rick expecting them to readily accept him back.

Tom came back wiping his mouth. "Mom, Daniel's in his food again."

"Rob, I can't help but feel like you're being a bit hostile towards me," Rick ventured, studying his son.

Mel rubbed at her face. "Rob, please, just let it go—"

"No, why would I be hostile toward you?" Rob asked with faux apathy. His facial expression was openly mocking. "It's not like you packed up and left us practically for dead for three years. Why would I not be psyched to see you back, doing well, as if no time had passed?"

He had always thought he understood why Rick had ricked—and he did; Daniel—but if his pent-up fury was any indication, he hadn't missed his father so much as he was pissed at his father. Daniel was awful in most respects, but he wasn't a good enough reason to abandon the rest of the family as well, leave your second oldest to become the patriarchal leader of the house, and then SHOW UP out of nowhere on Christmas Eve. Nana Miller had said he was an early present, but Rob thought he felt more like Daniel's birthday; a joke.

Christine removed her hand from Rick's and leaned a little closer to her son. "Robert. I am telling you right now, you can not talk to your father like that."

Melanie made eye contact with Tom and they both looked over at Nana Miller. She didn't seem to be at peace anymore.

Rob shook his head. "No, no. You can't tell me what to do anymore. You can't tell me to obey my father when I've been the one left to take his place."

Rick held back a laugh. "Take my place?"

Mel scoffed awkwardly, disliking how she was seeing her father act. "Rob, come on. You're not in charge."

Rob spun toward her and challenged, "Not saying I do a good job and you listen, but really? Who's the man of the house? Not Daniel! Not Tom! You're a girl, so it has to be me. It's me, and I'm fucking fifteen! What part about that is right?"

Nana Miller clapped her hands together and tried, "No one's eating their food—"

But then—Daniel finally had his outburst.

Slamming his palms onto the table, Daniel's chair almost fell back again with the force of his reaction. "Mom, let's do it RIGHT here."

The entire family recoiled. "Oh my God, Daniel," Melanie said disgustedly, shaking her head.

Tom pushed his chair back out. "I, I can't tell for sure but I might have to throw up again."

"Oh, come on, I was just being creepy!" Daniel exclaimed, flailing his limbs around. "Not my fault you guys suddenly can't react with your usual hatred when our WONDERFUL father is in our presence."

Christine shook her head, the hand that was holding Rick's minutes ago beginning to shake. "Daniel, you can't make comments like that—"

"You should be thankful you didn't hinder me from coming back at all," Rick cut in, staring over his wife at the mess he no longer called son.

Christine turned to him. "What do you mean?"

Rob pushed back from the table and let his chair topple to the ground. "I don't even know why you're here!"

"Rick, what do you mean?"

Rick threw his arms out. "Mom called me up and said this would be a fun family reunion. She didn't tell me that Daniel would be here, but then again," he paused, tone shifting to irritation, "I should've expected it, Christine." He looked accusingly at his wife. "You just can't let him go."

Christine glared hatefully at him, all of the emotions coming back. "Maybe I can't let him go because I know I can't abandon my responsibility as a parent, a parent who tries to be loving and tolerant."

Daniel got to his feet and sauntered over to his mother, patting her back once. "You're a great mom."

Normally Rob would protest at the physical contact, but he agreed. He gave Christine a lot of shit, but God did she deal with it.

Rick stood up as well and shoved Daniel away. "Don't touch her!"

There was a split second where everyone looked to Daniel, and then he reeled back and decked Rick in the face, knocking him to the ground. Christine hopped up. "Daniel!"

Rob nodded intensely. "He deserves it, Mom." He hadn't called her mom in such a long time, but it felt right. "He deserves a hell of a lot more."

Daniel snatched up a plate of turkey and gestured to their nana. She looked about ready to blow a gasket. "Rib, we gotta go."

They stormed out of the house, such intense, strong sunlight almost toppling them once they set foot on the porch. Daniel placed a hand on Rob's shoulder to keep his balance.

"Dude, you still can't touch me," Rob snapped automatically, shaking his brother off him.

Daniel glanced at him for a moment, putting his free hand in his coat pocket instead. "I'm sorry Dad left because of me."

It was the first time Daniel had ever addressed aloud why Rick had coined the term rick, and frankly, Rob didn't like it. He wasn't going to deny it because it wasn't incorrect, but if they shared a father who was so spineless he couldn't deal with the Daniel Miller the city of Miami had grown to tolerate and call the cops on, then Rob didn't want their father back.

"I'm not." Rob felt Daniel turn to look at him, but he stayed facing forward. "Rick made his choice."

Daniel snortled. "Rick. What a fucking loser name."

"And Marcello?"

"I know! Way to make a BIG change there bud, mighta wanted to move out of the state instead of relocating to Missouri."

"The United States is so fucked up."

"I'm not making it better."

"Oh, definitely not."

Rob wasn't sure what they talked about as they continued walking and snacking on turkey, but he knew that pretty soon Melanie and Tommy joined them and Christmas Eve turned from Honoring the Father to Bashing the Deadbeat Dad day. Rob knew that tomorrow was gonna hurt like a bitch in the aftermath of all of this, and that Daniel would have to revert to his more pervy self sooner or later, but for now? For now he was going to allow himself to stop acting like Douche!Rob and enjoy the time spent with his siblings and hope his mother would be there to wrap them all in a warm, understanding hug at home.

Merry Christmas to him.

yk some nights? when rick comes home drunk and daniel has to use the alonsos' bathroom? this followed a similar pattern. i wanted to be funny and creepy, and then BAM it got serious. always rick's fault.

merry christmas! your gift to me can be a review.