"I'm Afraid Of Today's Writers"

I only just turned one-two [12 you clueless thing!]
I'm bored with nothing to do
I head to the library [Boy, I must really be bored]
What is this that I see?!!

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
Snicket, J.K. Rowling, I just don't get the thing!
Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo [?!! I've never really heard the song you see]

I don't get what they write
Just little bunnies that fight [Jacques]
These people will learn someday
If they want their jewellery they PAY! [Tolkien]
MY life still doesn't make sense
Pick me please, if you want unfortunate events [Snicket]
Dragons only go so far [Rowling]
Narnia and Middle Earth can star
Milli Vanilli Milli Vanilli Milli Vanilli Milli Vanilli [?!! again]

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
I'm afraid of Tolkien [say it faster, instead of tol-KEY-en say TOL-kyun]
I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
I'm afraid of Tolkien
I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
Snicket, J.K. Rowling, I just don't get the thing!
Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
Snicket, J.K. Rowling, I just don't get the thing!
Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
Snicket, J.K. Rowling, I just don't get the thing!
Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo

I'm afraid of Tolkien, and Lewis, and Brian Jacques
Snicket, J.K. Rowling, I just don't get the thing!
Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo Ahoo