What if?

The power was still out in most parts of town. He was lying on his bed, staring blankly into the ceiling as the moonlight seeped into his open window and warm air hitting his face. He tried to clear his mind from the events of the day, but the deafening silence made it all the more vivid. He could still see her face as she looked down at the man she just shot. He remembered every inch of it as she put on a brave face and said that she was fine. But he could see it in her eyes that she was not. She was terrified and all he wanted to do was protect her from that feeling.

Sam could always read Andy like a book. He understood her and it's not just because they are such good partners. He knows that it's something more and it scares him how he feels when he looks into her deep brown eyes and his insides turn into mush. He doesn't quite understand it and that's what's scaring him.

'Get a hold of yourself, Swarek. You're behaving like a lovesick teenager.'

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He didn't want to admit it of fear of it being true, but he was falling in love with the one person he shouldn't. He knew from the very first day she tackled him to the pavement that she was different. She was someone who could keep up with him and keep him grounded at the same time. She was his rookie and an absolute off-limits in their world. There was a very thin line in their training officer-rookie relationship that he wanted to cross, but controlled himself as not to jeopardize both their careers. And besides, she was with Luke Callaghan. How could he ever compete with pretty boy? Not that Sam thinks Luke is better that him, but well, Andy chose him, right? But she never really had a choice since Sam never said anything. He knew there was something, he just didn't want to accept it.

'Why are you even thinking about this?'

He tried to shake the thoughts of Andy and Luke away when he heard a knock on the door. He stood up, grabbed his flashlight and headed to the door, wondering who would come at this time at night, the city still in total darkness.

He opened the door and was surprised to see Andy's tear-stained face. For one thing, he was thinking that her boyfriend would actually be the one comforting her, but knowing Luke, well that was enough said.

"Are you alone?"

"Yeah…You wanna talk?"

There was a moment's hesitation on Andy's face before she pushed him to the wall…

"No."

And started kissing him. Passionately. Her hands were trying to feel every inch of him, his chest, his back, his hair. She then wrapped her arms around Sam's neck while his hands settled on her hips as he closed the door with his foot and guided her inside, still kissing each other.

The next thing they were on his bed, taking each other's clothes off and making love together.

Andy fell asleep on Sam's chest, her breathing slow and even. He stroked her beautiful face and pushed the stray hairs falling on her face behind her ears. The candle light gave her a distinct glow that made her seem more at peace than she was when he first saw her at his door. He tried to remember every detail, the flowery scent of her hair, the touch of her soft skin and the look on her face as she sleeps on his chest. This night was about Andy and Sam. There was no 15 Division, no Luke, no criminals, it was just the two of them. Yes, he never wants to forget this moment because tomorrow, everything might go back to the things they were before.

It was still dark when Andy woke up. She could still feel Sam's arms on her, still holding her as if not wanting to let go. She smiled and tried to enjoy being in his arms a little longer.

Last night was a moment of weakness. She knew that she shouldn't have come running to him, but she couldn't resist it anymore. Andy knew it was wrong, but it wasn't a mistake. Sam makes her feel safe. She didn't know how to explain it, yet she knows that it's true, that he had her back and protect her no matter what. Being with Luke was nothing compared to the sensations she was feeling when Sam was near. She didn't feel anything in Luke's arms, but how is it that in Sam's arms, she feels that everything will be alright?

'I don't know why you make me feel this way, Sam. All I know is that last night was perfect. Not exactly how I imagined us getting together, but perfect all the same.' Andy thought to herself as she carefully moved Sam's arms off of her. 'I don't know if this was just some booty call for you, you are a man after all. But I'll never know, will i?' She stood up slowly and gathered her clothes on the floor. 'I need to make things right first.'

She kissed him lightly on the cheek after she put her clothes back on and gave him one last look before she quietly left his apartment.

Sam woke up at the sound of his alarm and was not surprised to see that Andy was gone.

'I guess I was right about things going back to normal.'

He was kind of hoping to share coffee or something you usually do when you wake up the next day beside the person you just had sex with. But no, she wasn't there anymore. Suddenly, Sam felt guilty for taking advantage of her. She was confused last night and he should've stopped her, but he didn't want to.

He tried to keep Andy out of his mind and continue his daily routine: took a shower, got dressed, drank coffee and headed down to the Barn. He was quite confused following the events last night, but was quite excited to see Andy. And he was surely in a good mood. He headed down to his desk when he saw something that made his heart clench. It was like all the happiness in the world had been drained out of him. It was Andy. She was with Luke in his office. Sam tried so hard to look away, but lost all sense of control to his motor skills. He couldn't hear what they were talking about, but he understood what was happening. Andy was smiling and she was hugging Luke.

'She chose him…it was stupid of me to think that last night was something special. She was scared and she needed someone. And Luke wasn't there.'

Sam looked away in time when Andy stepped out of Luke's office, still smiling.

"Good morning, Sam." Andy said happily.

"You seem to be in an awfully good mood." He replied a little too harshly than he had intended.

Sam knew he had to try harder to forget everything that had happened, but how could he when he had to sit in a car everyday beside her? He wanted things the way it was before, but doesn't want it all the same.

Andy raised an eyebrow. "Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

Sam almost smiled at her attempt to make a joke, knowing the story behind it, instead he shrugged it off.

He ignored Andy after that, but he knew he couldn't avoid her forever. Not with them being partners and having to sit beside each other in the Cruiser for the whole shift. There was an awkward silence when they were inside the Cruiser. Andy could see his pained expression, but couldn't understand why he would be feeling that way. Did he regret what happened last night? Andy couldn't stand the deafening silence anymore. She had to let it out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She turned to face Sam as he started the car and drove out of the parking lot. No response.

"Is it because of last-" Andy didn't even get to finish the question.

"Look, I don't wanna talk about it, ok?" Sam kept his eyes on the road the whole time. He couldn't look at Andy knowing that he'd go soft at the sight of her confused face. He had to do this. He was the training officer and she was the rookie. He had to end this and stop torturing himself. It's funny how things never even started and here he was thinking of ending it without giving it a chance. But what was the point of talking about it when clearly, she went running back to Callaghan?

"Are you gonna keep treating me this way then? Give me the cold shoulder? If you're mad at me, then tell it to my face."

"Fine! It is what is, ok? Don't overanalyze it, McNally."

"Oh…" Andy sat back and dropped it. She was staring outside the window, disappointed. She was kind of hopping that they could talk about what had happened, but it was clear that Sam wasn't interested.

'It is what it is…to him it was nothing. Last night was nothing.' Andy sighed deeply and concentrated on the streets. She felt weird. Like her heart was being pounded on by an elephant. It was a feeling that was new to her. She never felt like that with Luke, with him, everything felt dull. While everything with Sam was like an amazing explosion. With Sam, she was alive.