A/N This 'fic is mainly, and focused on, a speech I salvaged from a completely different fandom and recently rediscovered floating around on my computer. After a bit of cleaning up, I'm glad how this turned out.
Reaffirmation
They hadn't meant anything by it, but they discovered him listening to their gossip to late to take back what was said. What they initially thought was a blush at them bringing up his personal life turned out to be something quite different.
Ianto was furious.
"'All they do is have sex! There is nothing serious in their relationship'." His tone was unusually cruel and mocking as he parodied their words from earlier. "Have you taken no time to consider why we do it? Have you always just categorized us as what you see? Have you no mind to look deeper into human nature? Of all the people to have to tell this to, you were not who I thought I would have to explain this to." There was a disgusted tinge to his voice, letting them know he was truly disappointed in their actions. "Didn't you ever think we did it, because everyday there's a chance of us dieing? Did you never think about what we do, and how it affects our personal lives?" Ianto paused, knowing all of them could relate to that statement in someway. How Torchwood took over everything, consumed your life, that was something he did not have monopoly on. He continued on, having no intention of letting them off easily for their assumptions. "Wouldn't you prefer to spend every waking moment in the arms of that one person you love? Don't you think it's possible to express yourself in more ways than one? Are you simply unable to see, to realize, what it is like, to know that one day you might wake up... and watch everyone around you die... To wake up everyday, and know that's a possibility?" An incredulous-ness crept into his words then, causing them to shuffle uncomfortably. They all thought about it, but they tried to push it away. The dangers of their job had been laid bare since day one, they just chose to push it away from the forefront of their minds. "Would you simply hug your loved one, and tell them 'I'll see you in the morning', knowing full well you might not?" Another pause.
His voice turned away from his harsher tone and he continued in a softer one, steadier. "Don't you think people have a right to be in that one person's arms until they are ripped away? Don't you know what it's like… to watch them die in front of you?" The ones they had lost to this job, because of this job, they had all experienced it to some degree. Ianto gave a small nod to the rest of the team's bowed heads and averted eyes. Snatching his coat from where it rested across the couch, he headed towards the door. "At least I know I'm caring for the one I love."
Ianto was out of the door and away before any of them could really pull themselves together, and his words still haunted them as they silently drifted back to their desks. Toshiko cast glances over at Owen, trying to hold sway over the emotions waging war in her. What was she doing if she wasn't at least trying to care for the one she loved? Her eyes remained trained on him until he disappeared from view, going back to the autopsy bay.
Back at her desk, Gwen brushed her fingers against a photograph of her and Rhys. She chewed her lip, trying to sort through all of the emotions Ianto's speech had brought up. She sacrificed so much for her job, and her relationship suffered for it. Perhaps it should have blossomed instead, to savor the moments which were now more precious than ever.
Owen hid in the autopsy room, rubbing the back of his neck where he had felt Tosh's eyes on him. Tosh.. No, he shook his head. Don't bloody step that way mate, he warned himself. Still, an uncomfortable feeling settled in his gut, forcing him to recognize the truth in the tea boy's words. Every time he woke up it was possible it was his last day to live. Owen never thought he needed a reaffirmation of the appreciation of life, but apparently he did.