a/n: i rarely write e/b, so this is an oddity. lyrics are from "the artist" by the hush sound.
- - -
I know that you're an artist,
but you're the hardest one to deal with
Everything that you conceal
is revealed on your canvas
Edward's hands blended so perfectly with the keys. It was hard to keep track, impossibly difficult. His long, ivory fingers moved rapidly across the keys. The composition that filled the room was intricate, and fast. I sensed something underlying in it. It was not the gentle sound I was used to whenever he played. It was new, I decided. Something I had never heard before, that was for sure. I tore my gaze from his hands flying across the piano keys, and fixated my eyes upon his beautiful face. His expression was set. His eyes were the closest to black I had seen them in a long time.
You find all of your ugly meanings
in all of the things I find beautiful
Eventually, the composition slowed. The last key rang through the large room, and I shivered involuntarily. I couldn't decipher the emotion the music had brought forth. Anger? No, it was more complex that. Anguish? Possibly, although the trigger for it was unknown to me.
At the moment, my eyes rested upon the ground. I felt a gaze upon me, and I turned my head to meet his dark eyes. As he watched me, and I him, I noticed his lips moving. The sound was too soft for my ears, but I was sure he was speaking. I averted my eyes after a few moments. Edward's gaze was impossible to hold. The silence lasted. Finally, after an unbearably long time, he broke it.
"It's my birthday." A grim laugh followed. "Or, as close to a birthday as I have. It's the anniversary of the day Carlisle changed me. Another year of twilight, of unchanging existence."
I still could not fully comprehend the anguish he felt when he thought of what he was. Of what I wanted to be - to be with him, to be like him. I fixed my gaze even more strongly upon the floor, far away from his black eyes.
Do you see the fall is coming?
Come, I'm falling into you
Another silence followed. I could not remember the last time such awkwardness existed between us. Mustering what courage I had, I turned to look at him again. His eyes were still focused upon me, and he held my gaze strongly. There was even beauty in his sadness. How, how could he have such inhuman beauty? I would never be used to it, never. My hand twitched in my lap.
You perceive all of these things
I'd never have known
Love, will you turn off the lights?
we're already home
His cold touch still shocked me, no matter how often I experienced it. His cold hands grasped mine firmly, and his expression shifted. It was gentler, as he looked at our joined hands.
"I wish you could understand, Bella." Edward murmured, his perfect voice strained. "An eternity of existence that was never meant to be. It's not right. I'm not supposed to exist, why can't you ever understand that?" He fell silent, while I was still reeling from the edge of his voice.
You painted me in pastel,
colors that don't tell of any boldness
"This is wrong?" I tried to keep my voice from cracking. "Us?"
I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand before he pressed his lips to my forehead. "It is. But we're too far in now. Too far in to turn back." More pain in his voice. Tears burned my eyes as I fought them back. He was right, I knew it. Our separation was excruciating to even think about. I loved him too much. I wonder if Edward really knew the depth of the intense love I felt for him. Or perhaps it was me that would never fully understand his connection.
That's the way you'd love to see me:
so delicate, so weak, so little purpose
I could not find the right words to respond. My words came as I thought them, without care as to the reaction they might provoke. "You refuse to believe in the only solution." My voice was lifeless, I could find the strength to put more emotion in it.
We had been down this road too many times. I hated being the fragile human, that he always felt he put in danger. He'd never agree to change me. It was the only way to make me safe. But he'd never see my reasoning.
But your eyes are drawn of charcoal
they're black, they're so cold, they're so imperfect
Because they see a sleeping world,
where waking isn't worth it
A range of emotions played in Edward's eyes before they finally returned to the flat black They reminded me too much of the first day I saw him.
"I'm never going to subject you to this life, Bella. Never."
Did I imagine the strain I heard in his voice? The strain to make the words come out as gentle as they did? I tried to force it from my thoughts. As I searched his empty eyes, I desperately tried to find something. Some shred of hope that perhaps he would change his mind. He was too tragic, that was the problem. It couldn't be all bad, could it? He was wrong. I was determined on that point. We would never see eye to eye on it.
You perceive all of these things
that I'd never have known
I had held his gaze for so long, a draining feeling began to take hold in me. Such hollow eyes. My eyes fell to our still intertwined hands. After only a moment, I felt his cold hand beneath my chin as he gently raised my head to look into his eyes. His eyes locked with mine for only a brief moment, before he leaned in. I could already sense the beat of my heart accelerating. I could smell his breath, as his face was just inches from mine. Then his lips pressed to mine, and my heart stopped.
Immediately, my arms found some way to entwine themselves around his figure. My lips parted, but Edward didn't pull away. I felt something sharp, unbearably sharp against my lip. I pulled away, but I could hardly move. I looked at Edward, as I tasted the blood in my mouth. His eyes were different. They were dangerous... but I couldn't finish my thought. That's when the burning started.
Love, will you turn off the lights?
We're already home
I fought the pain. I tried to pull away, but his iron grip was impossible to break. I couldn't breathe, the burning was too much. And then it escalated. I couldn't even bring myself to think about what I knew was happening. The burning was everywhere, everywhere. I couldn't find my voice to scream. And then I was alone. A loud, angered snarl ripped through the air, as the strong arms locking me in place were removed. In pain, without coherent thoughts, I couldn't find the strength to hold myself up. I fell to the ground limply. The agony coursed through me. I writhed on the floor, without any solace. The fire in my veins was unbearable. That's what I remembered most.