The Beastie Boys are not mine, Sonic and Tails are not mine, the lyrics are not mine, I think Eggman is mine.

by Kieran Lee (aka Count Nobbus)

The sky was dark and cloudy one october night, the scene is a park and the time is evening. The streetlights shone through the trees casting shadows onto the lush grass and old benches. Suddenly two figures appeared from behind an oak. The first was none other than the righteous hero himself, Sonic the Hedgehog, and sure enough Tails wasn't far behind, he was the second figure. They had ditched that wierdo Knuckles (ugh, wierdo). "Hmmm, according to the tracking device Eggman is closeby" said Sonic with a confused look on his face. Suddenly (and unexpededly?) Eggman flew down from up high, an evil grin on his ugly mug. "So you want to put a stop to my evil plans? Fuck, I thought this might happen" ,Sonic shrugged off the naiveity of his foe and replied "Lets just do this, no more games Eggman!". The Eggman pulled a gun on Sonic and Tails, Sonic pretty much shat himself, "Hey, I've never battled with guns before". Suddenly new combatants entered the scene, three men in orange jumpsuits, the scientists of sound, the Beastie Boys! Adrock counted in "One, two, and , four"

Mike D started the famous song as music magically played:

"The Name Is D., Y'All And I Don't Pay And I Can Rock A Block Party

'Til Your Hair Turns Grey "So, What You Sayin'?" I Explode On Site

And Like Jimmy Walker I'm "Dynomite" And Now I'd Like To Pass

The Mic So Adrock C'mon And Do Anything You Like"

Adrock continued:

"I'm The A.D.R.O.C.K. In The Place With The Bass I'm Going

All The Way I Can't Stop Y'All Tick Tock Y'All And If You Think

That You're Slick You'll Catch A Brick Y'All 'Cause I'm A Turn It In

And I'm A Turn It Out But For Now I've Got To Pass The Mic To Yauch"

MCA finished off the rhyme:

"Well On And On And On And On I Can't Stop Y'All 'Til The Early Morn'

So Rock Rock Y'All Tick Tock Y'All To The Beat Y'All

C'mon And Rock Y'All"

The music faded out...

.....

....

...

..

.

The Eggman was obviously scared of the 'Boys, he cowered and shuddered. Adrock pulled out a blaster gun (set on 'stun' because the Beastie Boys are advocates for non violence)

"Pulled out the jammy he thought it was a joke

The trigger I pulled his face the yoke

Reached in his pocket took all his cash

Left my man standing with an egg moustache"

Eggman stood frozen as the Beasties started the attack, Sonic and Tails watched quietly.

Adrock rapped out a verse as he shot at Eggman

"Yes Yes Y'All And Yes Yes Y'All I'm Always On Time Never The Less

Y'All And That's Right Y'All, I Shed Light Y'All I've Got No Time In

My Life To Get Uptight Y'All So What You Gonna Say That I Don't

Know Already? I'm Like Clyde And I'm Rockin' Steady But Time Flies

When You're Having Fun So Mike D C'mon And Get Some"

Mike D continued the attack with his slingshot:

"M.I.K.E. To The D. You Come And See Me And You Pay A Fee Do What I

Do Professionally To Tell The Truth I Am Exactly What I Want To Be

Now Ad-Rock And M.C.A. Let's Rock This Joint In The Old School Way"

MCA readied his gun and mic and commenced his attack run:

" I've Been Coming To Where I Am From The Get Go Find That I Can Groove

With The Beat When I Let Go So Put Your Worries On Hold

Get Up and Groove With The Rhythm In Your Soul"

The Eggman was lying on the ground bleeding yolk. Sonic stepped foward "woah, you guys made short work of that geezer". Adrock (the hot one) stepped foward to take the praise "yep, one sad Eggman right there. The trick with guns is to shout out some lyrics to confuse 'em and work from there.". Tails finally broke his long silence "It's good to meet some advocates for non violence, you know, Sonic's games were non violent because nobody died. The enemies turned into fluffy critters!" Sonic stepped foward to end Tails' 15 minutes of fame "Actually that was because the fluffy critters WERE the baddies, they were made bad by Robotnik". This technicality somewhat confused the Beastie Boys "uh, okay...gotta run anyhoo, we've got a 'New-Yorkers-against-tibetan-freedom' concert to get to, or something." said MCA "Yeah, um...rock it live..."said Mike D, obviously finding an excuse to leave. So the Beasties clashed with the Sonic posse, so what? I've got a feeling thay will meet again, really soon.

ACT 2

The scene=the Tibetan Freedom Concert

Sonic and Tails stood around waiting for the Beastie Boys to take the stage. ... ... ... "Hey sonic, this concert bites balls! The beastie boys are like 40, or something.". Sonic was upset by Tails' lack of respect "Grow up dude, this concert is important because these bands raised awareness for Tibetan freedom, non violence and the milerepa fund!". "I don't care, I wish I was in the casino night zone!" "Oh yeah," said Sonic under his breath, "I wish you were in the Eggman lair zone". Tails heard this (he is a fox) and was shocked, "You have an attitude problem" Sonic was shocked now "Oh yeah, shut-up-a-ya-face!" "you want a piece of me?" yelled Tails as he punched Sonic in the face! "Im gonna kick your ass, Tails!" said Sonic as he retaliated with a punch. Tails was on the ground and he was steaming mad "I'm tired of playing second fiddle to you, you know what? YOU HAVEN'T SOLD A SINGLE GAME SINCE 1994!". This was it, Sonic was as angry as possible..."SHUT UP, sidekick!" replied Sonic as he delivered a kick to Tails' midsection. Tails coughed up a blood hairball as Sonic kicked him again, this time in the face. Sonic had done enough damage, he walked away muttering something about the 'marble hill zone'. Tails was lying sprawled on the grass, blood oozing from his grievous wounds, the Sonic-Tails relationship looked like it was over. Meanwhile Sonic was headed toward the main stage "The Beastie Boys should have been onstage an hour ago, I wonder what's going on there". Sonic headed into the backstage area which was marked with a star. He was shocked to find signs of a struggle in the Beastie's dressing room "Hey, I thought the Beasties were pro-anti-violence!".

What will sonic do next?

Will Tails ever annoy Sonic again?

stay tuned and dont forget to review (if you want to)