the dying star
her last night
"Ciara! Get out of the shower before you use up all the hot water!"My mother yelled. Woops. Too late. Better get out now.
I turned off the water and got out. While I dried off I sang to the song on the radio. I got dressed and got out to my mother, standing about three inches shorter then me, speculating me.
"Why are you always in the shower so long?"
"I daydream. It's where I get the best ideas for songs and stories or just nice fantasies." I told her with a huge smile across my face. I could see the disappointment in her eyes. Oh god, here we go again.
"You know I tried to raise you so you wouldn't be the kind of girl waiting for her prince charming. I never thought about marriage and having kids like you do. I never fantasized about finding my soul mate or anything. I tried to make sure you weren't like that. It makes it so much easier to hurt you."
"Hey, I haven't gotten hurt yet. Hell, I haven't had a boyfriend yet. And who ever said it was a bad thing to be in your own fairytale? I love it. Reality is such a bore. Making life my own is so much more fun. Besides, when did I say I was fantasizing about that?"
"Were you?"
"Yes." This just made her laugh. Yeah, I can be a smartass, but I get it from her side of the family so I'm good.
"I'm going on the computer." I said quickly and ran to the living room and slid into the seat. As I did my mom sat on the couch next to me dad behind me.
"Ciara, she's gone," said a message from Ashley. Ash had an away up (till now) and Christina wasn't online, so I wasn't talking to anyone.
"What are you talking about Ash?" I responded, though I think I already knew.
"Ciara, it's Anthony and Ash is gone. Her body is right next to me. She's been shot."
It can't be true. It's not true. It's not possible. He's lying to me. I told myself this repeatedly but deep down I knew that she is gone. I would save her on the walk home from school. I would spot him and give him a dirty look. I always knew he was about to shoot when his expression would go blank and then his lips curled slowly into a wide grin that almost looked sinister. I grabbed her arm and ran as fast as I could. Once I did, she realized what was going on and ran herself. She was much faster then I so it was easier, but as the days went by my legs became stronger. It always worked. Eric would time us and if we were a minute late I would be yelled at which actually didn't happen very often. We had no idea who the guy was after her. We just know that she had to be kept safe. But this time no one was around. But she can't leave. She couldn't have left.
"You're lying," I simply responded. There was no way.
"I'm not and I can prove it. Meet me at the entrance of Cedarcrest."
I was in my pajamas, ready for bed, but I didn't care.
"Fine. I will be wearing a nightgown, a denim jacket, no shoes, and my hair will be wet," I typed in as fast as I could.
I closed the conversation, ran into my room, grabbed my jacket, and ran out the door. I heard my parents yelling at me to come back inside but I ignored them. I ran through the trees and into the street. It was freezing outside considering it was the middle of November. The cold wind biting at my skin and my hair whipping at my face. There was only one streetlight. I ran ignoring the cold and the rocks my bare feet stepped on. As I ran the streetlight became dimmer. The only light left to guide my path was the moon. I was gasping for air, forgetting to breathe as I ran. I tripped a few times too but caught myself. By the time I was at the entrance I had cuts on my hands and knees. I saw that the white van was already there. I couldn't believe it. The door opened and James came out carrying her. It's not real. It can't be real. I just stared at her. Her straight shoulder length brown hair was all over her face. She was so still. But the one thing that I noticed right away was the bullet hole right in the center of her forehead. No. No, no, no.
"It's not true. It can't be." I whispered, clutching myself.
"Ciara, it's her-"
"No it's not!" I screamed at him. "It can't be! She is sleeping! Her heart is beating! It has to be!" The tears came down fast. I screamed and thrashed. I fell to the ground, still clutching my stomach, screaming wordlessly now. I couldn't feel the cold anymore. I couldn't feel the sting of my cuts anymore. I was on the side of the street, my eyes closed, trying hard to breathe. Tears came faster and harder until I was uncontrollably bawling.
"No! No, no, no! It's not true! It's not real! She's not gone! She can't be!" I kept screaming as one of them picked me up and carried me into the van. Probably so I wasn't freezing, I guess. I didn't care. They were all silent as I cried. I looked around and I could tell they were all still in shock. I slightly looked over my shoulder and saw that Natalia, Anthony's mom, was shedding silent tears.
I was surrounded by people that I've never met but they were all close to Ash. I've never met them, but they felt like they were close enough. I didn't care.
I cried and cried surrounded by friends I've never met and the body of who I called my little sister until, finally, I fell asleep.
I woke up to more crying. They had stopped at Rose's house. She came into the van and sat next to me. I never really cry much so I was able to be strong for Rose as she cried into my shoulder. It was difficult but I did it.
When I felt I couldn't take it much longer I whispered into her ear "Go to your boyfriend. He'd feel better if you cried into him"
She nodded and scooted over to Anthony and started crying into him. He mouthed a thank you and focused his attention back on Rose. No matter how much I unintentionally annoyed him, he was still polite as much as he could be. I knew that he wanted Rose to cry into him because I have felt that way before. One of her boyfriends had broken up with her over a text when she was in my room. She cried into our other friend, Tiffany's, shoulder and I felt so useless. I yearned to comfort her so. I think he felt the same way.
Eventually we ended up at the farm. By then the only ones who were awake were Anthony, Jacob, and Natalia. It felt kind of odd being with them since I have never really met them before so I lay down and tried to fall asleep. As I was just about to go under, I felt someone's arm around me. I looked out of the corner out of my eye and saw that it was Kellan. My eyes got wide. I heard a soft giggle and saw it was Anthony. I glared at him but was too tired to move his arm so I just fell asleep.