Disclaimer: I don't own anything. All you recognize is property of J. K. Rowling. Please don't sue!
A.N. I'm sorry I haven't been writing in awhile. Anyway, I think I've gotten into this Remus thing. I'm really into Remus fics right now, so if you have any, can you tell me in a review? Thanks! On with the show!
Chance or Fate?
37-year old Kimmie Okamoto stepped off her Firebolt, looking around. She took in the scenery before her, the grounds, the magnificent castle that stood before her, the Whomping Willow…
Oh, Hogwarts at last. I haven't been here in ages. I wonder if anything changed from before. Oh gosh, I hope my classes go all right.
"Miss Okamoto?" Professor Dumbledore asked, shaking Kimmie out of her reverie. " I see that you've arrived. I am so happy that you have decided to take the position of Charms. Professor Flitwick was due for a vacation anyway. I will show you to your rooms."
"I trust you know how to set passwords? You have one week to acquaint yourself with Hogwarts again. I daresay that you'll need it. Goodnight Miss Okamoto." Said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling
Kimmie closed the door to her room. She whispered into the wall, Wolf Moony
"Stop it Kimmie! You can't still like him! After all these years! He's a werewolf for goodness sakes. That's never mattered to you before. Oh gosh, it must be the room. Yeah that's it. I'm gonna take a walk" she announced to no one in particular
Kimmie walked down Hogwarts castle steps until she reached the lake. She sat down on the lush, green grass, which would soon be trampled on by students. Her eyes unconsciously traveled up to the sky. She sat back for a while watching the stars come out, one after another. She looked to the moon and tensed. It was a full moon. Remus isn't here remember? He's…wherever he is right now. There is no way he's at Hogwarts. No sooner had she thought that when a twig snapped behind her. She got up and whipped around, only to have looked into the eyes of a blue-eyed wolf. Not just a wolf of course, a werewolf. Without a thought, she transformed with a pop into a graceful feline cat. She was very pretty, black as night save for a white patch of fur on her tail.
It can't be! After all these years! There is no way, but still, I would recognize him from miles away, much less three feet.
It's her! I can't believe it. All I wanted was a stroll on the grounds. After all, I did take my Wolfsbane Potion.
Cat and werewolf stared at each other. All of a sudden, the cat, very slowly reached up to the werewolf and patted his paw hesitantly. Paw in paw, cat and werewolf slept that night, together, basking in old memories of days long past.
Morning came quickly for Remus. As always, he was accustomed to the excruciation task of getting up. The day after the full moon was always hard. Remus opened his eyes and stretched. *Bonk* What was that? Now fully awake, Remus opened his eyes quickly. What he saw unnerved him. It was just like he was back at Hogwarts, in the old days. None other than Kimmie Okamoto lay beside him, curled up to his hip. Remus' hands were wound up around her neck, something he quickly withdrew. He debated whether leaving or waiting. Leaving would be difficult because he hurt all over, but staying, he might have a number of situations he didn't want to face. In the end, he chose leaving, preferring not to deal with no knowing how she would react to him.
"Mm…What? Where am I?" she mumbled, nearly an hour and a half later.
Kimmie's mind was buzzing. She could vaguely remember something happening that night, something big. All of a sudden it hit her. Oh my gosh! Remus! He didn't tell me he'd be here! What am I going to say to him? Oh, what might he have thought! Hey…where is he? Kimmie looked around her quickly. He left. Just when I was hoping I could talk to him too. She glanced at her watch. Holy shit! It's 8.30! I'm late!
She ran off toward the castle, barely remembering to charm her robes and hair to be neat. She skidded to a halt outside her classroom before stopping dead in her tracks at what she saw. There, Remus was having Defense Against the Dark Arts and Charms simultaneously. Fifth years, including Harry, Ron, and Hermione were busy learning a sparking charm. Actually, Harry and Ron were learning, Hermione learnt it as usual and was correcting them. Kimmie caught sight of Remus and her heart stopped.
"Good morning Ki…Professor Okamoto. Professor Dumbledore said you were running a bit late so I decided to teach both classes at once." Remus explained.
"Ok, thanks Professor Lupin." She replied, and that was that.
After class was over, she tried to get a word with Remus, but he had already left. During lunch he was nowhere to be seen. Dinner as well, was served without him. After things continued like this for about three days, she decided to ask someone.
"Professor Dumbledore, do you know where Remus is? I've been looking for him all over for the past three days. I think he's avoiding me. I know the full moon passed already so that's not it. Where is he?!" she asked, half mad, half frustrated.
"I believe he retired to his room early tonight. Perhaps you should go see him. The password's Ribbon." Dumbledore replied
That's my nickname. I wonder if…no…"Thanks Headmaster."
Remus's Room
'She must have thought I was such an idiot. I was standing there teaching her class when I'm sure they could have handled themselves on their own. They were seventh years for the love of Christ.' Remus thought as he took off his shirt. 'Why do I act like this? Do I…no, NO! I don't like her again! Do I?'
Remus took sat down on the couch and pulled out his book. He had just started to get interested when…
BAM!
"What the heck? Oh, it's you!" cried Remus, grabbing his wand. "Don't scare me like that!"
"Silenco" she muttered, closing the door and soundproofing the room.
Remus Lupin!" Kimmie shouted, marching over to him. "Just what do you think you're doing? You disappear from everyone's life after Hogwarts, and everyone thought you were the traitor, which you weren't. I really didn't think it was Sirius…but that's not the point. You suddenly seem to not answer anything anyone sent you, believe me we tried."
Kimmie pushed a shocked Remus onto the couch, got on top of him, and straddled his legs, ensuring he couldn't get away. "Just who do you think you are? I mean, I see you at Hogwarts again, God knows how many years later, and you go avoiding the Great Hall for three days! I want answers and I want them now!"
"Whoa ok ok! Number one, I just came down to the Great Hall early for the past three days, it was just the full moon remember? Number two, Sirius is innocent, and that traitor Wormtail did it. He cut off his own finger. Sirius is hunting for him. Number three, I thought it would be the best thing to do, since Hogwarts was over, maybe you all would have felt differently about me. It wasn't as if I could get a good job or anything." Remus replied, looking down
"Why can't you get it though your thick skull that all that doesn't matter to me…us. We all would have stuck by you, you should know better." Kimmie stammered
"I guess you're right, now that I think about it, it does seem kinda stupid of me. I'm just so used to being looked down upon for these things." Remus replied, looking down
"Remus, we wouldn't think any different of you, we know you for who you are, not what you seem during a couple days of the month."
" Mm, thanks Kimmie. Sometimes, I wonder how you used to put up with me at Hogwarts."
"I liked you at Hogwarts." Kimmie replied, without thinking.
"Erm.." Remus trailed on. What do I say to that? God I like her so much! No, no, I can't do this again. I promised myself I wouldn't get mixed up and cause her more heartache. I better stop this now.
"Kimmie, I… I can't do this. I know I liked you then, but everything's changed. I'm still the same, but I don't like you anymore." Remus looked away, as if in shame, but really couldn't stand looking at her. "Please, let's just stay friends ok?"
He did it. He moved on. I knew I should have tried harder to stay in touch. Oh I missed my chance. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to stay friends. Still, I know I felt something there…
"Ok Remus, er, I'm heading back to my room now. I'll see you later." Kimmie said quickly as she got off him and left the room
"What have I just done?" Remus wondered out loud hitting his head against the wall.
That night Remus went to sleep, dozing off into a fitful sleep full of Kimmie. Kimmie, on the other hand, lay awake in bed all night, trying to go to sleep, but to no avail. Her mind just wouldn't stop buzzing.
The next day came and breakfast as usual except Remus sat next to Professor Snape and Kimmie sat next to Professor Dumbledore. Dumbledore sent a questioning glance Kimmie's way before eating.
Classes went on as usual but students at Hogwarts noticed that Professor Okamoto wasn't looking too well. Everyone knew why Professor Lupin wasn't looking too good though. Fred and George Weasley, presumably using one of the secret passageways, got into Hogwarts and were posing as students for Defense Against the Dark Arts Class. Poor Remus wasn't paying much attention.
"What are the best ways to kill a werewolf?" he asked scanning the room. "Mr. Weasley?"
"Silver bullets" three voices chorused together in perfect tandem
Remus blinked "Gred, Forge, Ron, wait, Fred, George, Ron, what's going on? How did you get into Hogwarts?"
"We have our ways Professor." George replied
"Oh" was the answer they got
"Well, as I'm sure you don't want to ruin a bad day by staying outdoors, you may leave." Remus excused the class, conjuring up a cup of coffee, not realizing that they had 40 more minutes of class left.
"Professor!" a voice called once the sea of students went out of the classroom.
Remus turned around. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked up at him.
"Do you normally act absent minded during the days before and after the full moon?" asked Hermione tentatively
"Who me? No, normally I'm a lot more hyper and aware. Actually, I'm always hyper and aware normally." he replied "Why do you ask?"
"Well, you seem very scatterbrained lately." Ron replied
"Who me? Scatterbrained? No, I'm just really distracted right now." Remus said, sipping his coffee
"You look just like Professor Okamoto." Said Ron
Remus dropped his coffee and his glass would have cracked if Harry, having Quiddich reflexes, hadn't dived and caught it seconds before it would have hit the floor.
"Harry, that wasn't the snitch you know." Hermione reprimanded
"Hehe, sorry Herm." Harry said sheepishly, putting the glass back on the desk.
"We'll be going now Professor." Hermione said
After the trio had left, Remus slowly sank back into his chair, exhaling a breath he didn't know he had been holding. 'What am I going to do?' he wondered
That Night
Remus was enjoying a hot, relaxing bath when none other than Severus Snape poked his head through the fireplace.
"Remus!" Snape barked
"What the hell?" Remus asked, pulling on a towel
Snape smirked "As much as I would just love to see you stark naked, I have been called by Professor Dumbledore. He wants to see you. I'm sure he'd prefer it if you were clothed."
With that, Snape pulled his head from the fireplace, leaving Remus to worry about what he was being called for.
Remus got out of the shower and put on his robes. He tucked his wand in his pocket and left the room. He hurried up to the stone gargoyle that guarded the passageway.
"Acid pops." Remus said
"Remus, come in, do sit down." Dumbledore said
"Yes Headmaster? Is there a problem?" asked Remus worriedly
"Remus, I am merely inquiring about your health. Are you dealing well with the transformations? Please, call me Albus." asked Albus
"Pro…Albus, yes I am fine, thank you." Replied Remus
"Another matter, though, concerns me. Kimmie has been inquiring after your health lately. She seems very worried." Stated Albus
"Er, Kimmie? Tell her I said thank you." Said Remus, looking flustered
"Very well. Another thing, I saw her this morning and she didn't look to well. Perhaps you should visit her." Albus suggested
"Perhaps, goodbye Albus." Said Remus as he rose and left
"Hhmm. One of the most stubborn people I know. I wonder when they're going to realize that what they feel for each other is real." Albus mused
Remus's Room
'Whew that was close. I almost wanted to admit to Dumbledore that I loved her. Wait, I was only supposed to like her right? I love her. Oh my gosh, I love her. Ohh, you're in WAY over your head Moony.' Remus thought, getting under the covers for bed.
Nighttime was in his opinion one of the best parts of the day. At night, alone in his room, he could admit, at least to himself, what he wouldn't, no, couldn't, admit to anyone else. During the time before he goes to sleep he is free to fantasize about Kimmie, and eventually drifts off to sweet dreams of her.
The next day
Kimmie woke up, stretched, and took a shower before going down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast. She didn't really feel like worrying about seeing Remus in the mornings when she wasn't fully awake. She ate her bacon and eggs and sipped at her pumpkin juice. She saw someone sit down out of the corner of her eye.
"Good morning Kimmie." Said Albus
"Good morning Headmaster." Replied Kimmie automatically
"Call me Albus dear, honestly, you have the same problem as Remus." Said Dumbledore
"Remus?" Kimmie faltered
"Yes, I was talking to him last night and he did the very same thing you did just now."
"He called you Headmaster?" asked Kimmie, looking puzzled
"Well, no, but he did look quite flustered." Said Albus "The full moon passed already, and I'm sure you know and he doesn't look like he has a cold, so I'm not sure what's wrong. Would you please go up to his rooms and check on him for me?"
"Who me? Surely someone else who's on better terms…oops." Kimmie said
"Ah, so that's the problem. It wasn't the moon but a matter of the heart. I see now, it all makes sense." He mumbled out loud.
"Well, I suppose I could talk to him a little and see if he's feeling ok." Kimmie said reluctantly, standing up to leave. "Well, I must prepare for class."
The rest of the day went as normal. Kimmie was gradually getting more and more nervous about talking to Remus. Remus however, was wistfully sneaking glances at Kimmie when he thought she wasn't looking. Both were nervous and jumpy all throughout dinner.
"What did I get my self into? I just had to tell Dumbledore that I would talk to him when I'm actually the cause of his problems! Well, I might as well get this over with because it's not going to be pretty.' Kimmie thought.
Remus's Rooms
Remus was lying in bed reading a book for 20 minutes. He's still on the same page as when he started, 20 minutes ago.
*sigh* Oh no, you're not going to do that again are you? Do what? Talk to yourself again. Guess what genius, you're doing it right now. *sigh* I shouldn't have told her that I didn't like her still. Yes I should have. No I shouldn't have. Now she probably hates me. Better for her to hate me than to love me. She doesn't love me. Yes she does. You know it, why else would she try and help me when I was a werewolf. All that's changed now. No it hasn't. You're an idiot for pushing her away. You need to apologize ant take her back as a friend; don't ask for more because you don't deserve it. Yes you do, after all these years, you need someone, you know it and I know it. Wait a sec, I am me! AAHH!!!
*knock* *knock* *knock*
"Come in!" Remus called, sitting up.
Kimmie came in and stopped short. Remus was sitting on the bed in nothing but his boxers and an open robe. Kimmie allowed her eyes to travel from his sandy blond hair to his blue eyes, to his face and broad shoulders. Her gaze swept over him, finally stopping back at his face. She couldn't believe she let this one go
"Remus, good evening. How have you been doing? Dumbledore's been inquiring over your health." Asked Kimmie
Remus however didn't hear any of this. He was much too busy looking at Kimmie hungrily. The wolf in his found a potential mate and was fighting for control. Remus however, was determined not to launch himself at Kimmie. She certainly wasn't making it easy for him. She was wearing a blue tank top and capris that looked like it was painted on her. Her robe was loosely tied closed with a black sash. Her hair was disheveled and her lips full and pouty. All in all, Remus was fighting a loosing battle.
Kimmie moved over to the bed. "Remus, what's wrong? I'm your friend and you can always tell me anything." She said
"What if I don't want you to be my friend?" he asked, "What if I want more? What if I want to do things to you that no good friend would dream of doing? What if I want to wake up with you next to me in the mornings? What if I want to feel you against me, caressing me like a lover? Most of all, what if I want you to love me?" 'Perfect, you just about admitted to wanting to screw her into the headboard against your bed. Very smart.'
"Look, Kimmie, I'm sorry, it's just that this werewolf thing really bothers me. I just feel so… different." Said Remus, while fighting for control of his emotions
"Remus, I'll always be your friend. I love you for you, as more than a friend." Kimmie said
Quick as a flash, Remus pulled Kimmie on top of him. Kimmie straddled his torso and smiled a wickedly seductive smile. 'There goes my sanity. At least I can always blame it on the wolf.' Remus couldn't take much more of that sweet torture. Remus looked down. He caught sight of where Kimmie's hips were and blushed, thinking about how her legs were wrapped around his, her hips joined with his. He slowly felt the need to do something. Slowly, he leaned in and kissed Kimmie on her luscious lips.
"Now, let's see if there's anything else we can use that mouth for. I'm hard pressed to ahem…occupy it for awhile." Remus growls
"By all means, teach me, professor." Kimmie smirks
A.N. I think we'll leave them to it for awhile. I've been thinking about doing an NC 17 version. What do you guys think? Yes? No? No idea? Thanks for reading all the way down here and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!