Chapter One - Blind

My eyes had never seen before this moment.

Jacob walked into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. He spoke, but I heard nothing. I could only sit there and stare at him with my mouth hanging open like an idiot.

I was suddenly flooded with feelings that had never been there before, something that had been happening alot since I had become mature. I had seen Jacob every day of my life as far back as I could remember, but this time was completely different. I had never seen anything so beautiful as him sitting here now.

My eyes ran across his face, and then slowly down his bare chest. His black eyes were like onyx stones staring at me in confusion. His skin was bronzed and rippled with his hard muscles, making me drool slightly. His lips looked pillow soft and all the more luscious as his tongue ran over them quickly. There was a trail of black hair leading down into his pants line.....

I had always seen Jake as beautiful, but in the same way that I saw my whole family as beautiful. This was a new kind of beauty, one that made my heart flutter. I felt like I must have been blind before this day. I suddenly had a strong urge to lean over just far enough for our lips to meet......

NO!!! My brain screeched. What are you doing?? You are going crazy!!!

"Nessie, you're starting to scare me...."

Jacob's pleasantly husky voice broke through my reverie. I heard my dad laughing in the living room.

Hey, keep out of my head, Dad! I thought to him sternly.

"Sorry," I said simply, trying to push my thoughts aside. "What were you trying to say?"

He smiled hugely and it scrambled my brain. Maybe just one tiny little kiss......

STOP that!! What is going on with me??

Dad laughed again from the other room.

"Bella?" I heard him say to my mom, "Would you like to go hunt? I think Renesmee might appreciate it if I step out for awhile...."

Thanks, I thought to him.

"So what do you want to do today?" Jacob asked. I barely heard him again because I was lost inside of his eyes.....

"I don't know....could we just hang out here for a little while?" I didn't bother mentioning that I was worried that if I moved from this spot, the butterflies in my stomach could carry me away.

"Whatever you want, Ness," he said smiling. How sweet Jacob was to me. No wonder my emotions were all screwed up. He glanced down at my wrist.

"Do you remember when I gave you that?" he asked as he pointed to my bracelet. It was made from leather in an array of dyed colors ranging from fuschia and aqua to the deepest of browns.

"Sort of....it's pretty distant, though."

From the time of my birth, maybe even before that, my mind had developed in a speed much much quicker than a human's. I had only technically been alive for eight years, so when I started to forget most of the details of my childhood, everyone was very worried. I always remembered everything important, like my family and any skills I had learned, but the specific memories quickly faded away.

About two years ago, my mom and dad decided to seek out Nahuel, the only other one they knew that was like me. When they found him, he assured them that it was nothing to worry about. Just a bit of my human side, he called it. After all, humans never remembered being babies, and barely remembered being children. Everyone felt much better after that was all cleared up.

I looked up and caught Jake staring at me. I suddenly felt self-conscience and almost vulnerable in a way, two more things I was not used to feeling, although they were pretty easy to identify. I looked down at myself - I was still wearing the same black shorts and tank top that I had worn to bed. My shorts were very short, and there was about an inch of skin below my belly button wrapping all the way around my body that was clearly visible. I wish I could trade powers with Dad for a minute....

Why was I thinking this way? Jacob wouldn't look at me like that. He had always been my best friend and nothing more.

But it suddenly felt like something more. I glanced at him again. It was like watching the sun rise for the first time. Why was he making me feel this way? Why was my heart beating so fast it could quite possibly burst from my chest? Then it all hit me.

This was love that I was feeling inside of me, but not the love I was used to. This love was much, much better. Intoxicatingly better. It hit me with a potency I had never been aware existed before.

My eyes trailed over him slowly once more..... my heart beat sped up as I looked over his strong arms, his black hair, his chiseled abdomen..... and then I stopped as I realized I could never have any of it.

I crossed my room quickly and turned my mp3 to every song by Agents of Oblivion. The music filled the room, caressing my ears with it's soft beauty. I was hoping it would distract me, but it was only partially successful. Apparently, love was something you just could not be distracted from, not even by the most beautiful sounds in the world.

We spent most of the day in silence, mostly for my fear that if I opened up my mouth I might say something completely ridiculous. I was almost releived when he headed out to the woods that night to sleep. It was nice to be alone and able to sort through my brain. And my heart.