Word Count: 981
A/N: Day twenty six of a writing challenge.
Summary: "All I know is-" "Everybody loves me!"
Diamond
Bruce whimpered pitifully, squashing the rising headache that threatened to overtake his mind. How did it come to this? How? It had been a normal Tuesday, a perfectly normal Tuesday! Tony had barricaded himself in his lab again, Steve had wandered around the tower cleaning (and complaining that the tower was filled with slobs), Clint was in the ventilation system trying to find some poor soul to shoot with his Nerf Gun, Natasha was carefully painting her nails in what Bruce suspected was some sort of poison, and Thor…. Thor was engulfing Pop-Tarts at a prodigal rate. A normal Tuesday in Avengers Tower.
A normal Tuesday that had been all but shattered by a resounding crash and the echoes of Tony's voice. "Damn it Dummy! I told you not to touch tha- Butterfingers, stop that, I don't need your help right now! No! Dummy, me talking to Butterfingers does not mean I'm done with you, come back here you useless pile of tin!"
Bruce wasn't sure what happened after that, but the next thing he knew he was in the gaming room with the rest of the Avengers and a yelling Thor. "Friends! What is this game, Life? What are the rules and the objective?"
"Don't worry 'bout it Blondie, it's pretty easy. The goal of the game is to get a job, earn money, and fu-"
Natasha cut in then, a dangerous smile crossing her face as she filed her sparkling nails. "What Stark is trying to say, is that this game is based around thriving in a false world. "When the only response she got was a curious stare she tacked on, "Consider it training, this will help you understand Midgardian customs better."
"Ah! I see, this game is indeed valiant then!"
And with that the normality of all Tuesday's were shattered. They were dubbed, labeled, and proclaimed as 'Team Bonding' days; where games were played and -in the instance of Tony and Clint- gossip was shared. They tried all sorts of games, ranging from strip Poker -which caused Steve to blush to no end- to Candyland -which caused Thor to demand to see this land of Candy and the man that ruled it-. However, the one game that they always came back to -and here Bruce cringed, remembering the first terrible game- was Life.
Tony practically fell out of his chair when he looked down at the unassuming card, "What the hell is this shit?! How am I the teacher? I don't teach!"
This, in no one, gained him any sympathy. "Stark, please stop yelling. You're giving Bruce a headache. Anyway, it's just a game."
"Oh sure, you can say that! You're the goddamned police man! That's just a wimpy form of what you already are, Captain." And with that, the game was on.
Clint really hated it when Tony guffawed and crowed with joy, not because he didn't like to see his friend happy, but because he was downright annoying when he got like that. "Do you even need a diamond mine, Tony? No? Well then, how about you hand it over to someone who would benefit from it." The fact that Tony had just obtained a diamond mine had nothing to do with how spiteful he felt in that moment, nothing at all.
"I need it, Bird Brain, I fuc-" Here, Steve made it a point to clear his throat, loudly. "fub up enough that I need a easy supply of diamonds to persuade Pepper to not kill me." At this, they had nothing to say.
"I refuse." Silence, complete and utter silence. After all, who were they to tell Natasha, theBlack Widow, that she had to pay for being in a simple car accident? Dead men, that's who, or they would be if they dared to point out that she was cheating. They all liked their intestines where they were.
"Friends! What is this stock that influences the game so?" Thor waved his arms around, brandishing the damning paper money that Tony demanded he be paid.
Tony reached out, trying -and failing- to take the money from the gods hand. "Well, buddy, it's a way for those of us that are rich, to become richer."
"Stark, that's not helpful, ignore him Thor. Now, stock is-" Steve went quiet when he realized that both Thor and Tony were ignoring him in favor of talking about the riches that both of them owned. "-never mind."
Natasha bared her teeth at Bruce, daring him to say anything, anything. Wisely, he stayed silent and hastily gave her the House Cards. He quietly breathed a sigh of relief when she simply took the cards and began to flip through them, looking for the mansion that no one would let Tony have.
"All I know is-"
Clint tried, he really did, but when he was given the job as 'Entertainer' and Tony set him up so perfectly he couldn't resist. "Everybody loves me!"
The archer of the Avengers swore he could hear the beautiful sound of applause over the yells and screams of his teammates. He thought he was pretty good, and he didn't understand why Tony was in such a tizzy about him 'stealing his jam'. It's not like the billionaire called dibs or anything.
In the end; Natasha won the game with an outstanding victory of having two children -neither of which died, Clint-, a stable job, a beautiful home, and a pile of money that made even Tony a bit jealous. Each Avenger was awarded something for playing that day; Bruce received a headache Steve a new understanding of pop music, Tony an outstanding respect for all things plastic, Clint a cardboard piece that said he owned a diamond mine -he may of traded his house for it, but, details- , and Thor a confusing introduction to Midgardian board games.