I'm Still Alive

By Commentaholic

A/N: Well, here's an Elder Scrolls songfic, (hopefully the first of several), written along to the song "Still Alive", a song from the soundtrack of Mirror's Edge. I highly recommend this song, even if you don't play the game, which contains the instrumental version.

I had to listen to it a couple times before this idea came up, but I love it. I'd love to be working on an A.N.D. chapter right now, but I'm on the clock on this library computer.

The rising sun gleamed gold as it crested over the green forests that covered most of Cyrodiil. Its glorious beams reflected off the white stone walls of the Imperial City, casting long shadows along the ground behind the capitol city of the Empire. Little beads of light glittered from the grassy plain that covered the rest of the Imperial City's island in the middle of Lake Rumare.

I have changed.

Nobody noticed the cloaked figure step out of the shadowy battlements atop the white city's high walls. The female's gray cloak billowed in the morning breeze as she greeted the sun's first light. Her face was concealed behind a grey mask with purple sigils carved along the nose ridge. The Gray Fox greeted the new dawn, green eyes shining as they looked down on the Imperial City Waterfront. She removed the mask, brushing back her flowing black hair, the ebony strands drifting in the wind.

I have changed.

The small huddle of shabby huts hadn't always been in this way, but the corrupt officials ruling from their ivory tower in the center of the docks had destroyed the livelihood of the people here. Those whose only desire was to live in peace.

Just like you.

She had only been able to watch as her people, her friends, had submitted and decayed into shifty, desperate beggars. They clung to life on the scraps and leavings of those who dwelled in the city above. She clenched her fists, her teeth grinding together. She hated herself for being unable to stop it at the time.

Just like you.

Of course... She couldn't really call them her friends now. They didn't remember her. She was surprised when she had walked into her own home to find it being ransacked by those she trusted the most. She had just returned from raiding a few of the Dock Offices, clad in the mask to conceal her identity. They scattered like rats, caught in the act. She managed to corner one before the frightened Redguard, Armand, had fled. "How could you do this to me?" she had asked, shaking him, tears in her eyes.

"Who are you?" was his only reply, "This house has been abandoned for ages! We had no idea anyone lived here, and when we found stuff, we figured 'finder's keepers'!"

For how long...

She had torn off the mask, revealing her face to the terrified Redguard, Armand, shouting her identity to the one friend that she had known throughout her whole life, ever since her family had moved to the Imperial City. His eyes showed no recognition, no acknowledgement that she had even said her name aloud. She had staggered back, terrified that her closest friend... didn't know her.

For how long must I wait?

She soon discovered that it was as if she had never existed at all. Her ramshackle home was purchased by a new tenant, her family could not remember a third child. To be honest, she didn't know how long she had sought after someone, anyone, to recognize her.

I know there's something wrong...

Her emerald-hued eyes opened once more in the present, gazing at the city. As long as she could remember, for she had left her old life behind, she had fought to keep at least a part of it free from the corruption that had engulfed it.

Your concrete heart isn't beating...

She had stolen from the wealthy, taken their ill-gotten gold, returning it to the people who had needed it the most. The Mask had only provided a way to do it without reprisal. But she hadn't known that it would have cost her this much... It had cost her her life, her friends, her family...

Her Identity...

And you tried to... make it come alive.

Donning the mask once more, she inched to the edge of the battlements, glancing down into the city streets of the Temple District, filled as it was with corrupt religious fanatics, panhandling their beliefs in exchange for coin from devout members.

No shadows...

She braced herself for the leap. Her eyes automatically searching out handholds and ledges to grasp, already plotting out the most efficient path through the city. They appeared in her mind as red shapes, clearly shining out against the otherwise drab coloration of the city.

Just red lights...

She leapt.

Now I'm here to rescue you...

Her leather boots impacted upon the ceramic roofing tiles as the Gray Fox landed on them in a crouch. Rising to her feet, she took off across the roofs of the Temple District's buildings, leaping across the gaps, working her way towards the wealthier homes. Only the best for her Waterfront.

It was only she who cared for them. She pawned off the items she "acquired" from the rich at less-reputable dealers she knew around the province. She kept a running list of them for whenever a unique opportunity arose in a city such as Bruma or Cheydinhal.

I'm still alive, I'm still alive.

I cannot apologize, No.

And she wouldn't. She regretted nothing about the things she had done. Everything she did, she did for the benefit of her people. She could never abandon them.

Oooh, I'm still alive. I'm still alive.

I cannot apologize, No.

She stopped, glancing down at the streets. It was quiet.

Too quiet.

So silent...

Her ears strained to pick up any sound, but even the birds seemed to be hushed.

No violence...

She knelt there, on the roof's gutters, listening for a sound. The Gray Fox was about to continue when she heard the slight pull on a string. She threw herself to the side, just in time to avoid a steel arrow that went whistling past her ear. So much for a calm morning, she thought.

But inside my head, so loud and clear.

"Get her! Get the Gray Fox!" came a shout. Armored figures of the Imperial Legion swarmed out of the alleyway across from her building, bows strung and at the ready.

You're screaming, You're screaming.

She grinned and began running along the rooftops, chuckling at the shouts below her. Dodging a volley of arrows with ease, she leapt across the street to the building opposite, an impressive jump for anyone. But then again, just "anyone" didn't the Gray Cowl of Nocturnal. Light on her feet, she danced from building to building, almost as if taunting the guards.

She'd almost cleared the area when she spotted something up ahead, and this certain something was attempting to keep his feet on the slippery roof tiles. Hieronymus Lex, could this day get any better? The Gray Fox screeched to a halt on the tiles, tossing a grin at Lex, "Good Morning, Lex, old chap. Nothing like a nice stroll on the rooftops, eh?"

Covered up with a smile I've learned to fear.

Her joking smile was met with a cold one. Hieronymus Lex only grinned back at her, raising his right hand to signal the archers gathered behind him. The woman standing before him raised her eyes to the sky. The early morning light glinted off of the high reaches of the tower in the center of Green Emperor Way. The palace gleamed in the dawn.

Just sunshine... And blue skies.

"Goodbye, Gray Fox, and good riddance. The world will be better off without you."

Is this all we get...

The Gray Fox only lowered her head, a smirk appearing on her lips. "That's what you think, Lex."

For living here?

"What?"

Before his very eyes, The Gray Fox's outline shimmered and she disappeared from view.

"Where'd she go?" Lex shouted, "Find her, now!" His men hurried to obey his command.

Come fire... Come fire...

The Gray Fox shimmied along the railing, clinging with gloved hands to the rough stone. Swinging along the ledge, she dropped down behind a group of guards that were searching the streets.

Let it burn, and love come racing through...

To the close observer, one might have spotted a few tears fall from her eyes as she fled the district. It hadn't always been like this, after all.

"Hieronymus..." she whispered as she huddled in a shadowy archway as the armored soldiers ran past. Not many knew that Hieronymus had been married. Fewer knew that his wife had vanished without a trace. Of course, as you might expect, the appearance of the Gray Fox at that same time had aroused some suspicion.

In Lex, the Gray Fox's arrival in town only gave him thoughts that perhaps the Gray Fox had abducted his wife whose name he could not remember.

If only he'd known the truth...

Ooooh, I'm still alive.

I'm still alive.

And I cannot apologize, Nooo.

I'm still alive. I'm still alive,

I cannot apologize, noo.

Over her years in the garb of the Gray Fox, ... had learned that there were some battles that could be won, and others that could not. She never opted to challenge a heist that she wasn't up for. And she never sent her people after targets that she would not go after herself.

I've learned to lose...

I've learned to win...

The Gray Fox relaxed as she scaled the walls once more, magically finding foot- and hand-holds in an otherwise seamless and smooth wall. As she reached the battlements once more, a strong breeze billowed her hair once more, restricted as it was by the cowl. She took a deep breath, darting once more across the walls towards the Waterfront. Armand would know how to delay the guards while she got to safety. Her guild had never abandoned her before.

I will move fast, I will move slow...

Take me where... I have to go...

I'm still alive, I'm still alive...

I cannot apologize, nooo.

It's all she wanted, to be honest. All she desired was to return to her normal life. For someone to just... remember her...

I'm still alive...

Ooooh...

I'm still alive, I'm still alive,

And I cannot apologize, Nooo...

She'd reached the Waterfront. She skidded to a halt along the long ivory-stoned wall that lined the docks. Water thrashed in dark waves below.

"Halt!"

She turned.

I'm still alive, I'm still alive,

And I cannot apologize, Nooo...

Ooooh...

I'm still alive, I'm still alive,

And I cannot apologize, Nooo...

It was Lex. He had a bow drawn and zeroed in right on her chest. At this distance, her leather armor could not hope to block it. Which left her with but one option...

She turned to Lex. "You know, Lex. I wish..." The rest of her words were lost as her voice trailed off.

She leapt backwards, arms spread out to either side. Lex could only watch as she seemingly plummeted off the wall. He rushed to the edge in time to see a splash in the water below, and a dark figure swimming towards the Waterfront.

"Next time, Gray Fox. I will have my wife back, just you wait. And if she's dead, I'll have my vengeance."

I'm still alive.

Night fell.

I'm still alive.

The days go on...

And I cannot...

same as always

apologize, noooo...

in the Imperial City.

A/N: Well, this one certainly was a plot bunny for me. This song just nagged in my head til I got this story out. Well, this is my longest Songfic yet, and hopefully, one of my best. Though, some may argue with me on that point.

Who knows, I might just make another Elder Scrolls story off of something similar to this.

Read and Review!

-=Commentaholic=-