Dying sucks.
Especially if it's from a disease in which you can feel yourself dying and you know your going to die, and you have to keep on living with the fact that you could die any second now. So yeah dying sucks.
I remember The day the doctors told me I was gonna die. Well they didn't really tell me I was going to die but I wasn't stupid enough to not interpret their words, I was fifteen when they told me I had cancer. I don't really remember the type of cancer I had but they said I had a ten percent of survival. So yeah, as could guess I gave up. I didn't commit suicide or anything like that, No, I just excepted the fact that I was going to die. Of course I still had that slim chance of living but I didn't want to get my hopes up.
There were days in which I would cry tof myself about how miserable I was or get all emo, you know like act all mopy and sulk all the time. It bothered the hell out of my parents but they understanding all the same. In the rest of my time of living I would watch anime, or read books, or spend my time on tumblr. It was my escape of the terrible truth that was reality. It helped me cope with death. I no longer felt sorry for myself, I had my own little world filled with OTP's, ships, fanart, fanfictions, cosplay, comic con, and AMV's. It was a perfect life for a fangirl like me.
So when the time came for, me to die of cancer, I was happy. Now you might ask why? Why I was happy to die? How could you accept death so easily? The answer is simple I wasn't happy for my death, It actually sucked ass to be completely honest with you. It was painful, Like Thousands of Needles were inside my lungs, My eyes were on fire, And my bones felt like were being broken one by one, My blood was boiling, and my heart felt...Empty. So yeah, It really freaking hurt.
I was happy because of the short life I lived. I was happy because I was blessed with two wonderful parents, With the places I got to see, With the people I got to meet, For having a healthy life for a time.
So when I took my last final breaths, I smiled and looked at my mother and father. And I remember so very clearly the Broken expression on my mothers face and the painful expression on my fathers face when I said my last and final words.
Don't cry...
And so at 4:14 am on January 31st, A Monday, Elizabeth Mason McCarty, Age eighteen, Died... Or at least I thought I had.
