Authors Note- Just a few quick notes before you all jump into the story. First I do not have a beta. All spelling mistakes are my own- I do read and reread through the chapter before posting but sometimes things get missed. Updates should be every Thursday, however I make no promises about this. I messed with Nymphodra Tonks age so that she is only two years younger the Sirius and crew.

Prologue

Part 1

October 31st 1981

Disclaimer- I am not J.K Rowling. I am just playing with her wonderful characters who still hold my heart.

Yellow and red leaves blew across the street in a gust of Autumn breeze. It seemed as though summer had given up the fight at long last and was letting Autumn have a turn before it too had to give way before another season. Sunlight gleamed down from the sky although it gave little warmth to the press of bodies that moved along the busy street.

Groups of people gathered in small tight knots their eyes going from side to side as they moved. Fear hung heavy in the fresh autumn air keeping those who moved about from thoroughly enjoying the day.

Peter Pettigrew moved quickly down the lane easily dodging between the crowds of people. His arms were crossed in front of his body, right hand tucked into his robe pocket, wrapped around the wand he had stashed there. His bottom lipped was pulled between his teeth and he worried it constantly as he walked. Small spots of blood gleamed on the white of his teeth, and there was a small sore near the corner of his mouth were he had chewed through it at some point during the morning. He turned a corner with the surging of the crowd and froze, people around him scattered about muttering curses or simply trying to be invisible as they moved on.

Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the road, their eyes scanning those who were out on the street. A small bag was clutched in Remus hand and he was nodding along to whatever Sirius had said. In his hand Sirius was clutching what looked like a grease stained bag and both men were plucking out small round dough balls. Although he could not see them from so great a distance Peter was sure the dough balls were coated in sugar.

Swallowing hard Peter turned and did his best to merge back into the croward moving off down the street. Reaching behind him he pulled up his cloak hood, bending his head towards the ground as he moved about. A surge of guilt sprang up in his stomach, since when did he avoid his friends? He quickly squashed it heading out of town and towards Hogwarts.

Had Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black ever really been their friends? Or had they simply been putting up with him? Did they like him or did they like having someone who could always be the butt of their jokes? Peter knew he made an easy target. He had never really been the smartest, quickest or even handsome type of block. He had always been more of a social outcast standing on the edge of their group. Sure they had always been there when he needed someone but was that more out of obligation then out of friendship? When he had meant James. Peter and Sirius Black he had latched onto, following their robe tails

Outside of Hogwarts it had become harder to follow behind them. They had gone into fighting against the Dark Lord. Going on sometimes deadly raids, spending many late and chilly nights on guard duty trying to get ahead of the raising storm. Spineless and having to face real life situations for the first time in his life Peter had found himself drowning. He had never thought himself a traitor, however that is what those fighting the Dark Lord would label him.

Outside of the crowards which had been swarming in Hogsmeade, Peter began walking quicker. His heart seemed to spring up into his throat as he tried to force his legs to move faster. His bottom lip became trapped between white teeth again and he began chewing hard at it. He could not be caught, not now, not when he was so close.

A strong breeze began to blow and leaves broke free from the trees showering the ground like a rainstorm. Peter jumped, sweat broke out across his forehead, and between his shoulder blades as he pressed himself to move faster. A bead of blood welled up along his bottom lip leaking down his chin. He patted his pockets with his free hand searching for a hankerchief. Coming up empty he wiped the sleeve of his robe over his lip.

A second later he half ran through the archways onto Hogwarts ground and breathed a loud sigh of relief. He turned around looking back up the empty lane his eyes searching the empty street. Was it possibly that he had tricked them all?

There was a sense of peace about the grounds of Hogwarts as he moved across the fields of grass. Beads of sweat dried on his forehead and he shivered slightly as he moved, eyes wide. From the direction of the Green Houses, he could hear the sound of chattering students as they waited for the start of classes.

No students were within the Great Hall when he stepped in. For a moment he paused on the threshold taking a deep breath. For six peaceful years he had lived within these walls pulling pranks, attending classes and hanging out with his friends.Then in seventh year Voldemort had began gaining power, and the hallways of Hogwarts like the streets of wizarding London turned into a battlefield.

Shaking his head from such thoughts he hurried along the hallways. Students and teachers alike seemed to be in the classrooms or within the common room or teachers lounge. From each classroom he passed he could hear the rumble of voices. Young witches and wizards learning about their world.

He knew the number of students was lower this year then the year before. The threat of the Dark Lord had scared many muggle students away, and those pureblood families who were blood traitors were in hiding or dead.

Peter has never believed that hogwash. He, like his friends had always thought if they had the ability then they should have the right to learn. However he did not want to lose, did not want to die. Which had become a very real possibility now that The Dark Lord seemed to be raising in power. So he had pledged his obedience, a decision he had regrets about since. A decision that may well cost him his life today.

When the prophecy had been made about young Harry Potter, Peters heart had turned to stone. It was one thing to feed bits of information like one would feed bites of cheese to a rat. It was another to hand over the son of one of your mates.

Peter knew deep down that he had not been the first choice of friend for James, or any of them for that matter. Never had he been more thankfully of this then when the Potters had to go into hiding. The spell they used prevented anyone who was not the secret keeper from saying anything to anyone. James would pick Sirius of that Peter had been sure. And like he had thought James had picked Sirius.

Sirius being Sirius had turned the tables though. He had suggested Peter instead, saying no one would ever expect it. Name Peter secret keeper and Sirius would go under ground into hiding. The Potters would be safe.

Except that he, Peter was a coward. He wanted nothing more to save his own neck. To be winning the war not burying another one of his friends. His protest was waved away and Peter was given the title of secert keeper. Peter had a good job of it trying to avoid handing the Potters over to the Dark Lord. He knew this game was of cat and mouse. And as the mouse he was not going to be able to hold the cat off much longer. Peter shudder at the thought coming to a stop beside the gargoyle that protected the entrance to the Headmasters office.

"Password?" It asked and Peter face fell. He did not know the password.

"Chocolate frogs?" The gargoyle shook its head. "Bertie botts every flavored beans?"

Another head shake. "If you don't know it then go away and let me get back to my nap."

"Aha…" Peter thought hard, chewing on his mouth again as he did so. Dumbledore has always been a fan of muggle sweets… " peppermint sticks, lemon drops….peppermint patties….candy corn?" He offered thinking of the sweet that Lily had given him last week. It was a muggle candy made up around the holidays and Peter had found he quiet enjoyed them. The gargoyles sprang away revealing a long winding stair cases that moved.

Peter stumbled over his feet in his haste to step onto the stair cases. Pulling his wand out he spun it between his fingers, his foot tapping against the stone as the stairs went higher and higher. What felt like hours later but was only minutes Peter emerged onto the landing of Dumbledore's office his breath coming out in short pants. Sweat ran into his eyes and his hand trembled as he raised it to knock.

Nothing but silence came from within. Peters face went white. He had not thought what would happen if Dumbledore was not in. He knocked again, waited a moment and then shoved the door open. The inner office was empty, the fire in the grate out. There was a deep silence within as though no one had been there in days.

Peter had been to the headmasters office a few times in his days at Hogwarts. Normally it was because he was not quick enough to get away from Filch after a parnk. Onnce it had been when his mother died unexpectedly. His eyes flicked to his watch somewhat shocked to see that he had only left his flat an hour ago.

Doubting anyone would he coming anytime soon Peter stepped silently into the room. The portraits that had occupants all appeared to be napping. Many of them sat empty, they were likely off visiting another portrait.

Desperation and despair rose up from his stomach choking him. He couldn't breath, couldn't move. There was nothing he could do...his friends would be killed. All because he was a coward. A rat.

He sank to the floor arms wrapping around his stomach and breathing. He hasn't had a panic attack like this since he was twelve. He squeezed his eyes closed holding tight to his stomach as he tried to force his lungs to draw in another breath of air.

He could hear his friends voices in the back of his mind, Lily's concerned, Remus kind, Sirius mocking and James full of authority. None of them deserved to die. He had hoped going to the other side he could save them. Not Lily- he knew she was a mudblood and the Dark Lord would not allow a Mudblood to live. He would allow the other three to live though. He let out a choked breath, one of the portraits gave a loud snore.

Peter glanced up, eyes scanning the sleeping picture. If he woke them would they have advice for him? Or would they say nothing and speak in riddles?

Taking a deep breath he stood up, brushing dust from his robes. What would it matter if he sat here and waited? If he were to betray his friends would it matter if he did it now? Or if he waited?...

He crossed the room in small shuffling steps coming to a stop beside the fire places. No other option. He could not avoid what was going to come. Would it be kinder of him if he just got it over with? If he could he would just take the baby and Lily to his master himself. That way James could live…

Peter shook his head, he was a crap liar when it came right down to it. How he had fooled his friends this long was beyond him. Unless they really did not care. The thought sent a painful throb through his heart. He leaned forward placing one hand on the table and the other onto the back of the chair. He jerked back, the chair had felt silky and cool to his touch, gripping the material he pulled it up.

James invisibility cloak.

Peters heart thumped loudly in his throat. In fifth year the boys had tried to find out more information about the cloak Peter now held. They had jokingly thought it was death's cloak from the Tales of Beedle and Bard. Gently he thumped it letting the silky material slide throw his fingers. What if they had been right though? His master was powerful but was He powerful enough to cheat death? Peter did not think so. Although he knew very little about power, that was why the he was in this position.

Picking it up he ran the material slowly through his fingers chewing on his bruised and abused lip. He could take the cloak, slip away unseen, find somewhere to hide and wait. It was a cowards way, to slink off tail between his leg. It was what he had done his whole life hiding behind the cloaks of others becoming a lap dog.

There was a chance that with him gone the Dark Lord would never find James and Lily- that they would go on living. That they would stay safe and hidden while the world around them burned. His mind flicked, memories from school and the time after. Of pranks and late night chats and times that had passed between them. If the times before Lily when James had pinned, Remus had endured and Sirius had mocked. During all that time they had never turned away from him, they had always been his protector. Peter grimaced at that thought, folding the cloak up until he could fit it under his arm.

He knew he could not do much. He was in to deep now, was to much a coward. Running was not an option, but maybe he could give his friends a chance. A chance to get away. What would happen to Peter himself? Would his Master know he had tried to betray him...?

Setting the cloak on Dumbledore's desk he sat down rummaging in the desk for parchment, ink and quill. Sticking his tongue between his two teeth, an action that Sirius had always mocked him for, he began to write. His handwriting had always been sloppy, rushed it would be even worse. He could not find it in himself to care though. Minutes later, palms sweaty he set aside the quill, rolling and sealing first one and then another pieces of parchment. He left them laying on the desk, folding the cloak onto a messy bundled. He had though to write a note about the cloak but knew there was little he could say to explain.

Pressing the folded cloak to his body he stood and scuttled towards the fireplaces. Once there he grabbed the jar he knew the Floo Powder was in. A quick jerk of his wand had flames rising up. Dropping down onto his hands and knees he tossed a handful of Floo Powder into the fire places. "The Potters." He yelled grabbing the fire tongs. He stuck the cloak between them then shoved the tongs in letting the cloak and letter go. Placing the tongs back down he moved backwards, and stood wiping his brow.

Spinning on his foot Peter left the office letting the door snap shut behind him. Once out he shifted into his rat form and scuttled off down the stairs. Class had let out and students were shuffling about heading towards their next subject. Peter dodged the footsteps with the ease of particie. The shoe of a student caught the end of his tail, he squealed and then hurried off. Even in his rat form he could feel the burning that meant the Dark Lord was calling.

Luck was on his side for the first time in a long time, the entrance hall doors were propped open slightly. Students were strolling out onto the grounds on their way to the Green House's. Peter slipped out with them, keeping an eye to the sky for bigger prey he headed back towards Hogsmeade.

As he reached the edge of town he shifted shivering in the sudden brisk autumn breeze. As a rat he never had to worry about the biting cold, his warm coarse hair saw to that. Rubbing his hands again he grimaced as the mark on his arm burned again more hotly then it had been. Heart beating in his throat he turned disapperating on the spot.

His feet hit hard on the ground and he stumbled slightly. "Still can't land right?" Peter looked up into the cold eyes of one of the Carrows. He swallowed hard looking past his shoulder at the naked standing tree just beyond. He swallowed hard mumbling an incoherent responses and trying to edge pass.

Peters eyes drew to the wand Carrow held between his fingers spinning it slowly. Peter shivered slightly he had seen what he could do with his wand...Carrow stood still seemingly happy to linger about all day, as Peter edged passed. Once he had continued down the walk towards the old house they were using at the moment Carrow turned in the spot and vanished with a pop off to complete whatever task he had assigned before him.

The old manor house was cold and shrouded in darkness. Peter moves slowly, a man moving to the gallows. His bottom lip, already tattered and bleeding was pulled between his teeth. His heart thudded loudly in his throat.

"Petergrew." The name was whispered and swathed in coldness. Peters feet faltered and then began moving again even before he commanded them to do so. He wiped his palms on his robes, and ran his sleeve over his bloody lip before entering the old dining room in which the voice had come from. His Lord sat at the head of the table wrapped in shadows like he wore it as a cloak. "What news have you brought me?" His voice still a whisper seemed to echo out into all corners of the room.

Peter gulped loudly his eyes starting at the floor or the table in front of him, looking anywhere but at the Dark Lord or any who had gathered in the room. His fist clenched together his nails hitting into his skin.

"Godric's Hollow," He choked out, his throat feeling like sandpaper. He did not need to say he meant the Potters. He knew the Dark Lord would know of whom he spoke. Only two had ever escaped as they had. "They hide in Godric's Hollow." He said it again his voice firmer although he still refused to lift his head to look about the cold room he stood in. The cold room that would likely become his grave.

"Do you think you can fool Lord Voldemort?" Peter swallowed hard, but made no sound, "Do you think I do not know you question your loyalty?"

"I am nothing but your humble servant my Lord," Peter squeaked out.

"Lier….Crucio." White hot pain washed through his body. He yelped, his boys jerked and he dropped to the floor eyes watering. The pain stopped and he gasped out a breath blinking hard to clear his vision. "You have been with holding this information since you learned it...Crucio," He breathed again.

Pain zapped through Peter body he fell and twitched against the cold ground. The pain stopped a moment later he twitched against the ground feebly wondering if he could do anything if he grabbed his wand.

The idea was fleeting, his master was speaking again, "you went to Dumbledore searching for answers…"again the spell hit him, Peter curled into a small ball his body twitching, tears streaming in a never ending stream.

The pain stopped but Peter did not move, he could feel warmth on his leg, his trouser leg was damp. He had soiled himself. His mind spun, trying to make sense of the pain that he had experienced. "And when you did not find him you came here, tail between your legs hoping to find redemption with a piece of information. You forget, Peter. I. Do. Not. Forgive."

After the final seven words were broken up with the Crucio curses. Pain, never ending pain, his body shook, his mind spun.

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily, his friends within the order would they forgive him, school years, memories of his childhood the spun around his mind. Between them was the never ending pain, the white hot fiery pain that was never ceasing. Within his mind he felt a cord snap..and then he was tumbling and spinning each memory was a ghost, something he tumbled though shattering it into thousands of tiny pieces. His body lay twitching on the floor, no longer aware of the deep biting cold that rises from it. Within the swirling fragments of what had been his mind he could hear laughter, high and cold and filled with merciless amusement.