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Author´s note on the background:
"1541: In this year on March 1st came at last the Passing of King Elessar. (...) Then Legolas built a grey ship in Ithilien, and sailed down the Anduin and so over Sea; and with him, it is said, went Gimli the Dwarf. And when that ship passed an end was come in Middle-Earth of the Fellowship of the Ring."
from: The Lord of the Rings: Appendix B, The Tale of Years
o~o~o
Waving Goodbye
o~o~o
The first light of day illuminated the valley of Imladris; birds awoke and started to sing, jubilantly announcing the new morning. Most of the peaceful haven´s inhabitants were still asleep, unconsciously breathing in the sweet air and dwelling in their dreams´ pleasant realms.
Lord Elrond´s eldest son was already awake, however; he and his twin brother were planning on seeing their friend Legolas off, who had been visiting for a few weeks and was bound to return home that very day.
Elladan did not get out of bed yet, but turned on his side once more, sighing contentedly.
At the same time, Legolas´ open eyes started to focus, as sleep left him. Something other than the cock-crow had caused this, though, and while he was still trying to comprehend what it had been, it repeated itself: something bumped into his back. Confused, he turned around only to find Estel in his bed; the six-year-old boy was fast asleep and apparently dreaming, for his limbs were twitching somewhat and he was clutching his stuffed horse close to his chest. He had pulled up his legs to his chest, for he had slipped out from under the blanket and was only wearing his nightshirt; it seemed that he had kicked Legolas in the back while he had curled up for warmth.
The elf smiled sleepily and pulled the cover over the little one. He could only guess what had caused Estel to come here; presumably it had something to do with his own imminent departure. The boy and Legolas had become good friends during the past few weeks, and Estel had already begged him to prolong his stay.
Slowly, so as not to disturb the little one, Legolas lay back again, listening to the child´s soft breathing. Now that he was awake he could not find back to sleep; his mind was on the way home already, only to be called back to the present when Estel subconsciously snuggled against his side, sighing in his sleep.
It was not for another hour until the boy awoke; he fiddled around with Brown, his stuffed horse, before he was completely alert and recognized his surroundings. His eyes wandered towards the elf to see if he was still sleeping; when he found Legolas smiling at himself, he sat up: "Do not go."
The elf was surprised by this unexpectedly straightforward plea: "Estel, is this why you have come here in the middle of the night?"
The little shook his head: "I woke up and could not go back to sleep." "So you came here? Were you hoping I was still up?" The boy shook his head once more: "Brown was afraid of the dark." "Was he, now?", Legolas gently asked. "He certainly must have been glad that you were with him." "Yes, he was. We went to find Ada nevertheless because Brown never believes me when I tell him that there are no monsters. But then I saw that there was still light in here."
Legolas´ gaze flicked to the small lamp on the nightstand- he had been reading and fallen asleep at it. "You must be really good at sneaking, then", he said, "since I did not wake up."
Estel nodded: "Elladan and Elrohir showed me how to do it", he explained and snuggled against Legolas: "Can you not stay a while longer, Legolas?"
Legolas smiled kindly and wrapped his arms around the child: "I am afraid I cannot", he replied. "My father is expecting me back, since there are tasks I have to fulfill." "What tasks?" "Certain duties which come with being a prince."
Legolas did not know if Estel would understand it, but tried to explain: "Do you remember the name of the forest in which my people dwells?" "Yes, it is called Mirkwood." "Exactly. It has not always been called thus, however; once, it was known as Greenwood the Great. Many years have passed since then, and the forest has changed; a shadow has been cast over it, causing our own home to become strange to us."
Estel had been listening intently. "What shadow was that?", he wanted to know now. "Did it come from a cloud?"
Legolas involuntarily chuckled at this: "No, it did not. It was of unnatural origin, and it felt as if someone tried to take the light away from us, and everything we held dear." He was still unsure if Estel could comprehend this, but the boy seemed content with the explanation, so the elf continued: "My folk has had a hard time since then; the life in our forest did change and became even dangerous. Strange creatures spread amongst the formerly so peaceful canopy of ancient trees, and we had to take on fighting them." "I know", Estel piped up, "the spiders!" "Yes", Legolas nodded, smiling fondly at the boy, "the spiders were one of the reasons why my people is in danger of being driven apart, away from our home... And we are trying to change that. I have to help my father in whichever way I can, be it by hunting the spiders in order to diminish their number, or by trying to encourage our people by not giving up hope."
Estel pondered this for a while. He had heard of the spiders which dwelled in Mirkwood, and the tales had thoroughly impressed him: "Are you not scared by them?", he then asked curiously.
"Sometimes I am, Estel", the elf replied, sadness creeping into his voice. "They are hideous creatures, after all. More often I am angry rather than afraid, though. Angry that they are there and bothering us in the first place."
Seriously, Estel looked at him: "And you do not like to be angry, do you?"
Legolas was so surprised by this observation that it took him a few seconds to answer: "No, I do not", he said softly. "It is not the habit of the woodland elves to feel anger, or even hatred. It is often weighing me down, I am afraid."
Estel stayed silent but sat up and pushed his stuffed horse against the elf´s chest for consolation.
Legolas could not but smile: "You have become a good friend, little one", he murmured.
Estel´s eyes grew wide: "Have I?"
"Aye", Legolas confirmed. Impetuously, Estel lunged forward to wrap his arms firmly around Legolas´ neck: "You are my friend, too", he whispered into the elf´s ear. Then he suddenly drew back a bit so that he could look at Legolas and grinned: "But if you are my friend, you will stay", he said, pleased with his logic. "Because I ask you to!"
The elf shook his head: "Now that is where you are wrong, Estel", he said, hiding his amusement. "I have explained to you why I have to leave, and as my friend you do not try to hinder me but acknowledge my reasons for it."
Estel sighed, drooping his head slightly and nodding.
"I cannot delay my departure", Legolas said gently. "But I will look forward to meeting you again."
"Will you come back soon?", Estel queried.
"Soon enough", the elf replied, not wanting to wake false hopes. "I believe that you will have so much to do, what with looking after your brothers and practicing your archery skills, that you will hardly notice my absence at all."
The little boy visibly brightened up at this: "I will not hinder you", he hastily assured. "And I will wave goodbye as long as I can see you!"
"Good", Legolas smiled, "I am glad about that. I do not like it myself, you know?" "Like what?" "Leavetaking."
Simultaneously, the both of them sighed.
--
204 years later.
.
Legolas stood at the ship´s railing and stared down into the dark waters which were swirling beneath him. Slowly, he laid a hand on the wood; the smoothness under his fingers was pleasant, mirroring the ship´s general appearance. Legolas subdued a sigh, as his heart was heavy: no one would ever truly know the amount of emotions which had gone into it. He had built this ship not only to create a means of transport, but also because he needed to keep his mind occupied, to vent his grief. On the first of March, Aragorn had passed away, and Legolas had taken it harder than he could ever have imagined.
Every nail the elf had driven into the planks, each single hit with the hammer had helped him dealing with the initial shock after his friend´s death better than the unshed tears he could still feel behind his eyes. He had wept, at first, but crying left him with an emptiness which made his despair worse. Only when he had started to build the ship did the emptiness yield, and he did not feel so utterly powerless anymore.
They were sailing on the Anduin, and Legolas could not but remember the time when the fellowship had travelled on these waters; it was a long time ago, but the memory seemed still fresh.
Aragorn... Legolas gripped the railing tighter, trying to ward off the sadness which overcame him anew. His memory shifted to the day his friend had finally left this world: "This time it is I who cannot delay his departure", Aragorn said, his voice already far away but still unmistakably Legolas´ Estel. It was breaking the elf´s heart to see him dying, but he forced a smile on his face nevertheless: "I will not hinder you", he whispered, for he did not trust his voice. "My friend."
-
His gaze still fixed on the water did Legolas take a deep breath as he heard footsteps approaching and turned around: it was Gimli, who came to stand next to him.
The dwarf did not need to see his elven friend´s features to know what Legolas was thinking about; he had been in a sad mood ever since they had set sail on the Anduin.
Gimli imitated Legolas´ gesture and laid his hand on the railing, awkwardly stroking the wood: "She is doing fine", he said appreciatively.
Legolas only nodded. He was neither in the mood for talking about the ship nor about Aragorn; leaving Middle-Earth seemed like irrevocably leaving his friend behind, and Legolas could not bring himself to think of the man as being dead; he was gone, yes, but he had yet to acknowledge the finality of this.
Gimli shared the elf´s sorrow, but he also worried about him: Legolas had never been so silent and full of grim determination as he had been for the last few months. He knew it would take time and distance for his friend to come to terms with the changes in his life, and he also knew that Legolas was strong enough to master his grief eventually, but as of yet, the pain was still too raw to be dealt with.
The dwarf reached up and patted the elf´s back, a gesture which attested their friendship, and turned to go again. To his own surprise, he had developed his sea-legs quite quickly, and had meanwhile gotten used to the constant motion underneath his feet. He smiled, thinking of the ship: after one evening´s mostly silent contemplation, sitting by a campfire and sharing a bottle of wine, Gimli and Legolas had agreed to call her Estel, even though it brought tears to both their eyes. It was a good name, nevertheless: hope would bear them to their new life, would help them to move on in the literal meaning of the word.
It was something to hold on to, in the literal meaning as well as metaphorically, and Gimli knew that it was also something Legolas would take comfort in.
-
When the Estel had finally reached the sea, Legolas looked back at the shores they were leaving behind and felt a strange sensation of both relief and anguish. He gripped the railing once more; for some reason, the solid yet soft wood under his hands always seemed to comfort him. He closed his eyes for a moment while he listened to the cries of the seagulls; images of a little boy flashed through his mind, a small figure which was waving goodbye until he could not see it anymore.
Taking a deep breath, Legolas opened his eyes again, only now noticing that he was smiling, even though tears were running down his cheeks. No, he had indeed never liked leavetaking. Slowly, he turned around and walked to the ship´s bow, his gaze finally coming to rest on the horizon.
--
The End
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