Shattered

I rubbed the burning out of my eyes just in time to see him see me. I could see the shock roll over his face, the sudden doubt. If I could just get to him a little faster- grab him and tell him not to do it- maybe he wouldn't. But I wasn't a fast guy. I'd never been very athletic. I hated that so much right now, because I was just so close.

But not close enough. I yelled out his name, "Kenny!" but I already knew it was too late. He'd made up his mind. Kenny shook his head from the other side of the parking lot, turned away. I heard him say 'Just do it already!' and Damien nodded, regretful. I yelled his name one last time, just to feel myself say it knowing what it meant- because I knew that because I was so damn slow, I could never say it again.

What was I doing here? I looked around. I was standing, confused and for the most part alone in a dimly lit parking lot. If I was right, I was on the outskirts of town. It was late at night. Maybe early in the morning, by now. I blinked. I was alone save for two other boys about my age. One wearing a black turtleneck and lack hair- maybe a goth kid? –and the blond and trussed up like a burn victim in an orange hoodie. I didn't know either of them and, being in such an unknown and thus dangerous place, I didn't feel the need to call out to them.

I turned, looked at the road behind me. My car was parked several rows away. Why was I standing here? I did nothing but stand and blink, confused and slightly scared at my lack of memory, until a little voice in the back of my head said that I had been out buying beer. Got lost. Needed directions. It was strange, I had just blanked like that. Also funny, I didn't but beer often. Or at all. I always made Stan do it, since he was tall and I, short. Plus, he was a better liar, so he didn't feel so freaked out carrying a fake ID. I just let him get the beer.. So the notion that I was at- I checked my phone as the other two boys drove away- three in the morning was absurd. But it was three in the morning, and my mind was sluggish and tired. I shook my head and went back to my car.

The next morning, I woke up tired. Well, who isn't tired in the morning? But much more tired than normal. Due to my strange escapade into the night, I assume. I'd given up trying to reason with my brain and just let it go. It probably wasn't important anyway.

I let my feet hit the floor, and wandered over to my computer desk. My email was calling out to me; I had to check it. I slapped at the mouse to bring my computer back to live and out of hibernation. It greeted me with a familiar beep, and I sunk into my cushy roller chair. And frowned. I had left Itunes up yesterday; but now it was closed. A little weird, but nothing to be concerned over. It probably just closed unexpectedly. Something, perhaps misplaced curiosity, perhaps some sort of intuitive notion in the back of my mind, told me to open my history and check. I pulled up the recycling to get to the files- and froze.

It was filled to the brim. Images, piles and piles of images. I always emptied my trash when I deleted files- and had I deleted all of these pictures, I would have remembered for sure. I also should have remembered why I was in a parking lot in the middle of the night.

I opened one of the files. Corrupted. I closed it again and checked the file names instead. Several were noting but jumbles of letters, the kind you don't bother to change when you pull them off of your camera. Others read things like 'me and Kenny [State Fair 08]' or 'class photo 09]. There were a lot that had the name 'Kenny' in them. I thought about that- but I didn't know anyone named Kenny. I looked at one called 'group shot outside PiPi's 09' I remembered that. Stan, Cartman and I had gone to PiPi's water park a few months ago, back in summer. We'd had a great time, now that PiPi's was clean. I wouldn't go until I actually tested the Ph levels myself. Apparantly PiPi had fixed the place up since his big catastrophe. They practically dragged me there, I remember! I can't believe they wanted to go back after what happened… I remembered taking this picture. We were on our way out, soaking wet, big smiles plastered on our faces. I opened the file. Corrupted. But my computer skills were enough to run through the file, find out what was wrong, and fix it. Whoever had erased all these files- and it wasn't me- didn't know much about computers.

I blinked when I looked at it, because the picture was telling me a different story than how I remembered it. Because, in my memory, the three of us had grabbed each other's shoulder's for this picture and smiled as big as we possibly could. That had stayed the same except that, in the picture, there were four of us. There was Cartman, Stan, Me- and then, on the end, someone I did not know. I rubbed my eyes and look at it again. Refreshed the picture. It stayed the same.

I looked at him, trying to see if maybe I was forgetting him. He was my age, and blonde. He had messy hair, even when wet. He was a really pale, skinny kid with white skin like a goth kid, and his ribs just barely poked out, visible. Red cheeks and dark circles under his eyes, which were a vibrant blue- and sad. Something in them was hurting, so ad it was visible in a photo. For all that, he was pretty handsome. My heart hurt looking at him, for a reason I couldn't place. I touched the screen, then drew my hand back, confused. I checked a few more, and all had that same, pale, skinny blonde boy with the sad eyes. I printed out the first picture, folded it and stuffed it into my pocket.

"I'll just show Stan and Cartman- see I they remember who he is." I thought aloud, "Kenny… Huh. Something here is very weird." The name felt strangely familiar to me, though I certainly knew no one by the name of Kenny.

And then, through the course of my day, Kenny, and his picture, slid out of my mind, and I forget him.

Until Stan asked if I had a pen after school, and I fished through my pockets, searching. Instead, I found the picture. I offered it to him to see what he thought. He looked at it, and laughed.

"Dude, you're getting really good."

"At what?"
"Photoshop, man."

I shook my head, "That's the original."

His smile faded, he frowned, then looked back at me, "What?"

"Something weird is going on, dude. Last night I found myself outside of town in a paring lot for no reason, and today, I find a bunch of deleted images on my computer that make no sense. All of this guy."

Stan just shook his head, "Yeah right."

"Dude, come on! I'm being serious here, it's freaking me out!" I cried, exasperated. He shrugged, nonchalant. I sighed.

"I think something is wrong." I said finally, struggling for words.

"Let's just ask Cartman. But I seriously don't know this guy." Stan insisted, offering me back the picture. I replaced it in my pocket.

"Yeah… I guess."

Cartman didn't know him, either. No one did.

That night, I had a weird dream. It was sort of like my past, but different. The guy from the picture that I didn't know- what was his name? Kenny, right –was in it, though.

I put my hand in his and smiled sheepishly. It was unlike me, but I felt sheepish. It was a generally weird question to ask. But Kenny just smiled, and gripped my hand a little tighter.

"Of course. My treat." I beemed, though I knew he didn't have the money for anything fancy. But that was okay- the fact that he would offer, that he would want to made me feel warm inside. I smiled back and felt myself curl inward against his chest. It was like all the crazy thoughts that had been whirling around my head, calling me a freak and a loser were finally silent, and I could finally just me- with him. I love Kenny McCormick, and I always will.

That was when Stan appeared around the corner, hefting his backpack on one shoulder and a smile on his face, he obviously had some hysterical story to tell me- but upon seeing his two best friends in such position, he stopped, and his hand lost his grip on his backpack strap. It hit the ground with a thunk, and he just stared. We were at school- very public, so it was bound to happen- but he'd only just agreed to out with me. It was a little sooner than expected.

We sat there for longer than could be considered normal, just staring, and then, he stuttered, unsure of himself, "Um- s-so, anything good on, er, the lunch menu, um, today?"

And just seeing him try to play off something that so obviously freaked him off for my sake made me feel even better, and I just started laughing. Kenny, blinked and stared at me, confused. He had that scared look in his eye, like he was afraid Stan was going to do something crazy and he was going to end up dead this early in the morning. I didn't want him to die, and I know he wasn't in the mood for it, either. And somehow, we were all laughing at something that should have been really serious- but that was alright. We'd always been really close, so what had I expected? To send him from the room screaming? No! Cartman was going to love this, but, like everything, he would get bored of constant teasing soon enough and only do it when the opportunity presented itself. Besides, Cartman had gotten better since they were kids. He still didn't care if everyone thought he was a dick, but now at least he had a little diplomacy around his friends. Kenny, mostly. Him and Kenny actually were friends now, go figure.

And thank God for that. I smiled. Thank God for Kenny McCormick.

Draik: Hawhawhaw. So, Kyle, you don't remember Kenny!

Kyle: Neither does Stan! OR Cartman!

Stan: Nope.

Kenny: WHYYYYY!?!?

Draik: HUSH KINNEH.

Kenny: ;_____;

Draik: No one remembers Kenny. At all. But obviously, he was here. Hm.

Kyle: What the hell is up with the name, anyway? Shattered? WHAT is shattered, exactly?

Draik: Hearts, minds. Perceptions of reality. Imagine your reality, and your perception of it for a moment. Everything you see, everything you are. It I as fragile as glass, the tiniest thing in te world could upset it, and just like that, it's gone. And the reality the characters possess in this fic has suddenly, and without warning, shattered.

Kyle: …oh.

Stan: Huh.

Kenny: Is my reality okay, or did I forget me too?

Draik: Sheddup Kinneh. *smacks with pillow*