[Maggie spits out her pacifier on Homer's head]

Homer: Ow

[Maggie does it again]

Homer: Ow

[And again]

Homer: Ow

[And again]

Homer: Maggie, don't hurt daddy with your binky, okay, or daddy will do something he might regret and go in a horrifying mental breakdown.

[Maggie still spits out her pacifier to Homer]

Homer: Maggie, please. daddy's begging you to stop.

[Maggie spits out her pacifier into Homer mouth and chokes. He coughs it out]

Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE!

[Homer then puts his hands on Maggie's neck and strangles her]

Homer: I'll teach you to try and kill daddy!

[Homer inadvertently twists Maggie's neck and he drops her]

Homer: AAAAAH! MAGGIE! Calm down, Homer! Remember your CPR training.

[Homer puts his knuckles together and bangs them on Maggie's chest as an attempt to revive her. He then bangs an iron on her, then a baseball bat, then a giant portrait of Philip Seymour Hoffman. He fails]

Homer: Wake up! Wake up! Wake uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!

[Homer cries. He then hear Marge's footsteps outside. He tries to cover up the fatal accident with Maggie]

Marge: Homie, I'm home.

Homer: Hey, honey. How are ya?

Marge: I like to see Maggie now.

Homer: Maggie, uh, sure thing. I'll get her for you.

[Homer runs into Maggie's room and covers her corpse with a blanket]

Homer: You'll have to be quiet, now. She's sleeping.

Marge: Homer, why are her eyes crossed?

Homer: She, uh, must've been watching TV all day.

Marge: And why is her tongue sticking out?

Homer: She must've licked fire by accident.

Marge: And better yet, why has the portrait of Philip Seymour Hoffman that I bought from Capital City been ripped to shreds?

Homer: It was the cat and dog.

[Marge pulls a suspicious face, then hand palms]

Marge: You strangled Maggie to death, haven't you?

Homer: What?! Me? Stangle a baby? Never!

Marge: Oh, Homer, this is exactly what you did to Lisa a year ago.

Homer: She was asking for it.

Marge: And Bart the year before.

Homer: Oh, please, we all know he made my life a living hell. It was time he got his comeuppance.

Marge: What are we gonna do with you, Homie?

Homer: I'll tell you what I'M doing, I'm going to Moe's and drink away all my emotional trauma and forget this episode. Anyway, you think we need Dad out of the retirement castle?

Marge: Hmmmmmmmm.