My first Warriors fanfiction! It takes place about mid-way through 'The Darkest Hour' and contains spoilers if you haven't read that far.

I have always loved Leopardstar and Stonefur as characters and was so happy when he was named as her deputy. I imagined a little more going on in the decision than just Stonefur's experience as a warrior. So I was surprised and sad when he died and there was so little reaction from Leopardstar. This is my version of her first person view of the whole scenario.

Disclaimer: Warriors doesn't belong to me, it is Erin Hunter's and all of the dialogue is straight from the book itself, those lines don't belong to me either.

When You Left

Horror flashed through me for a heartbeat as Tigerstar's order echoed around the clearing; 'Kill these two half-clan apprentices'. Every cat was staring tensely at Stonefur, waiting for his next move. He stood crouched over the two trembling apprentices, their eyes wide with terror, tail lashing defiantly. I knew he would never do it. Not even StarClan themselves could make my deputy kill innocent cats.

His wise blue eyes locked with mine then, and my neck fur bristled to see the desperation hidden in their depths. They were burning with all of the courage and nobility that had first made me certain that there could be no other cat more suitable to be my deputy, but I could see the fear behind it all. It made my blood run cold to see he knew already that he was going to die here. Something stirred in me as I realised he was preparing to fight for his life and those of Greystripe's kits. I marvelled at his strength of spirit.

Tigerstar is unbeatable I thought. I couldn't believe any cat would try and oppose him. With a twinge of shame I remembered Riverclans' horror when I gave the announcement we were to join forces with him. What was I to do? Stand alone and die? ... Or join him and live. But that choice was mine to make. Just as it was Stonefur's now.

I willed him to do it. Wished with all my might that he would agree. I knew it was wrong to wish death upon those innocent apprentices, but to lose Stonefur would be unbearable. He was my deputy, who had fought beside me so many times, and had shared tongues with me in my den whilst we discussed the clan that we both were so eager to protect. He had ambition, but it made him a better cat, he was willing to disagree with me when it was something he truly believed him, but I only admired him more for it. There couldn't have been a more loyal cat in all of RiverClan. My muscles were straining under my calm facade. If he killed them Tigerstar may have let him back into the clan. Somewhere deep down I knew that thought was ridiculous. Tigerstar had no intention of letting him live, whatever he did. But the shred of hope I clung to was enough to keep me from feeling like I was drowning.

In all the time that I had been thinking no cat had dared move. They all stared at Stonefur, waiting to see if he obeyed. It was all over for him now. He would die if he didn't kill Greystipe's kits. If obeying Tigterstar's orders was what it took to see that Stonefur contained no divided loyalties, then it was what was needed to be done. Suddenly my deputy turned to face me and his growl cut through the silence.

"I take orders from you. You must know this is wrong. What do you want me to do?" Stonefur's voice shook me. He would defy Tigerstar even now? His loyalty to his clan and his leader was almost overwhelming. I looked up into his blue eyes, that I now realised were the very same as his mother Bluestar's. I had seen that look before, when Bluestar was ready to fight- when Stonefur was ready to fight. I frowned, and my tail lashed in indecision, my carefully crafted calm facade faded as I looked at him. I wanted him to live, but he was right; ordering a cat to kill two innocent apprentices was wrong. I felt every gaze in the clearing looking at me, and I chanced a glance to the bonehill where Tigerstar was crouched, his amber eyes narrowed in impatience and blood lust. I can't go against him but I don't want Stonefur to die. Although my heart felt like it might burst open I finally replied in what I hope was a steady meow.

"These are difficult times. As we fight for survival we must be able to count on every one of our Clan mates." I took a steadying breath, "There is no room for divided loyalties. Do as Tigerstar tells you." I felt disgusted at my own words. I saw Tigerstar flick his ears in satisfaction, as if I had said the very words he had been hoping to hear, and I knew he just wanted to see the kill. Stonefur held my gaze, and I saw a shadow of disappointment cross his face. I couldn't stop looking at him, but it made my heart wrench to see how much his trust in me had been shattered. But what was I to do? I had never wished not to be a leader more than at that moment. My only decision was to agree with Tigerstar, to have given Stonefur a different order would have looked like I was trying to undermine his authority. I just wanted what was best and the safest for my Clan. If I didn't give the order then the whole of RiverClan could be in danger from Tigerstar's rule, how long would it have taken ShadowClan to lock us up aswell? But now that I had given the order I had essentially handed my deputy over to StarClan. We both knew how this was going to end for my beloved deputy. I could see him looking at me with resignation, but there was something else there, now he had accepted his fate, and it made me want to run to him and bury my nose in his fur.

Stormpaw brought me out of my thoughts as he bravely comforted his sister. Such a courageous warrior he could have become if only he had been fully RiverClan. My eyes widened as Stormfur simply nodded proudly at his apprentice, approving of his mature attitude, and he swung around to face Tigerstar.

"You'll have to kill me first, Tigerstar!" He hissed, crouching low in front of the two young cats, tail lashing in defiance. The cats in the clearing responded to such a bold move with muffled gasps and mews, mainly from RiverClan, but I also felt excitement in the air and watched as the ShadowClan warriors looked up at their leader expectantly. Tigerstar flicked his ears in a vague show of annoyance and ordered Darkstripe to carry out the deed. I felt my claws slide out and grip the ground beneath me. My world felt like it had moved, shifted, and would never return to how it was. The tabby ShadowClan cat launched himself into battle with an excited hiss and I looked down. Shame burned through my pelt as I realised I couldn't even watch my own deputy die. After a moment the sound of cats screeching and rolling across the ground made me lift my head up in amazement, although the blue-gray warrior had been treated terribly; beaten, locked up and starved, he was fighting furiously with the larger male. I let hope flare inside my chest as I watched, barely daring to breathe.

Stonefur had finally gotten the upper paw by grabbing Darkstripe's scruff with his teeth and attempted to shake him, blood welling up from the punctures. It was difficult to watch such an unfair fight without springing in to help, but I could hardly believe how well my deputy was using his training to his advantage. Being overpowered by Darkstripe's strength the two cats finally jumped apart. Both seemed to be faring badly from the fight, with blood spattering the clearing and more being shaken off as they got their breath back. My eyes narrowed as Blackfoot mocked Darkstripe into fury and he leaped back into the fight.

This time I didn't look away. Stonefur once again used his level head and expert training to use the dark warrior's strength and momentum against him. He pushed him away with his claws and although using such force made the thin deputy stagger, he quickly recovered and flung himself towards Darkstripe with claws extended. I watched Stonefur use the same attacks he had use to defend RiverClan, he had pushed unsuspecting enemy cats towards me with that very same move he now used to defend his life. We had often fought side by side.

"Finish it." Tigerstar's voice boomed through the fighting. Blackfoot smiled, and leaped out of the shadow of the bonehill. Stonefur barely had time to let go of Darkstripe before Blackfoot had thrown him to the ground. The dark warrior looked down at Stonefur with hate burning in his eyes as pushed down on his hindquarters, pinning him. I felt my body go numb as Blackfoot raked his claws across my deputy's throat. He stared at the sky with surprise still on his face as blood poured out of the deep wound. The two cats from the newly formed TigerClan stepped back and watched him with satisfaction as the life drained away from the dying warrior. Stonefur. Stonefur. My Stonefur.

I barely noticed the wail from the surrounding cats. I wasn't sure if it was real, or just my heart. I tore my gaze away from the broken and bloody cat in the clearing while the wailing turned into a cheer. Tigerstar's cheer was the loudest and I saw him from the corner of my eyes, watching me. I joined in, my body still feeling detached from myself, hearing the cheer coming from my own mouth that was my voice, yet wasn't. I saw the apprentices with horror stricken faces remain silent and stare down at Stonefur, who had joined StarClan to save them.

I was aware of the cheering dying down and Darkstripe's offer to kill the apprentices. I felt the stirrings of life as feelings came back into my numb body. I wouldn't let them touch those apprentices. Stonefur died to save them, and I would rather die myself than let his sacrifice be in vain. I tensed; grief giving me feelings of boldness that I realised dimly could endanger my whole Clan, ready to stop them.

"No," came Tigerstar's slightly bored reply. He had something else planned for them. Probably bribing ThunderClan. My muscles relaxed as the apprentices were taken back to their prison. "The meeting is at an end." The large tabby emphasised his point with a sweep of his tail and jumped from the bonehill. With not even a look in Stonefur's direction Tigerstar walked away with Darkstripe and Blackfoot not far behind. I realised that most of the cats had dispersed after being dismissed. I continued to sit, looking at the cat that I had imagined always being by my side.

Stonefur's blood lay around him, his eyes now fixed unseeing at the sky. He had given his life for what he believed and I had let it happen. This consuming grief was surely my punishment. I only hoped that now he would find peace with his mother, Bluestar, in ThunderClan and that one day she would see him again. I had been left as the only cat in the clearing and I slowly padded up to the blue-gray warrior, abandoned where he had fallen. Once at his side I reached down and placed my nose in his fur. His scent overwhelmed me. Stonefur's scent.

"Don't ever forgive me." I muttered, the words broken and quiet; guilt and grief threatening to consume me. I gave one last steadying breath and turned to follow Tigerstar. I couldn't look back.