If Wanting To Be The World's Wealthiest Duck Makes Me Wrong

by The Cajun Phoenix

This poem is told from Flintheart Glomgold's point of view as he describes how close he has come to unseating Scrooge McDuck for the title of "World's Wealthiest Duck" again and again, only to fall short, and he's fed up with being on the losing end.

"If Wanting To Be The World's Wealthiest Duck Makes Me Wrong (Well, Then, I Don't Want to Be Right)"

by The Cajun Phoenix

A/N: I do not own any of the "Duck Tales" characters in this poem nor do I own the copyrights for the song "If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want to Be Right)."

Your title of "The World's Wealthiest Duck"

Is just out of my grasp

By a hair's-breadth,

But I've been all but forced to fold it.

I am barely wobbling

Just inches away from all the wealth,

But I can't reach out and hold it.

It's all waiting for me,

Waiting for me at the summit.

Just when I think I have it all,

I lose my footing and back to the bottom I plummet.

Of all the rankings to be painted with,

I am frozen at number two.

I want all the money and all the power,

And I won't accept being second best to you.

I've always kept closed fists behind my back

All for showing another hapless fool the door (1.).

Before your nephews cost me your title,

I've all but left you laying on the tent floor (2.).

You might be richer than I am, but you are not better than I am.

I'll leave you broken and beaten.

You might be faster than I am, but you are not stronger than I am.

I will take your title and all the wealth

Or my heart of stone (3.) will completely stop beating.

Every title reign comes to an end

Just as every day fades and melds (4.) into night.

If wanting to be the world's wealthiest duck makes me wrong,

Well, then, I don't want to be right (5.).

A/N: As always, your reviews and feedback are appreciated.

(1.) Reference to the way both of Flintheart's fists are tightly balled up behind his back when he taunts Scrooge in the "DuckTales" episode "Robot Robbers, " which suggests he probably built up his reputation as a brawler during his imprisonment in South Africa before making his home in Duckburg, Calisota. A word of warning: whenever somebody hides tightly closed fists behind his or her back, that usually means he or she is prepared to get into a fist fight with the hapless individual who has the misfortune of getting on his or her bad side.

(2.) Reference to the tent floor scene in the "Duck Tales" episode "Working for Scales" when Flintheart all but knocks out a mad-as-hell Scrooge in the Grand Kishki's tent before Huey, Dewey, and Louie use their ingenuity-and the Beagle Boys' avarice-to ensure that Scrooge retains his title of The World's Wealthiest Duck. Though hinted at, I think Flintheart's right hook punch can knock out even a professional heavyweight boxer under the right circumstances.

(3.) Reference to Flintheart's clipper ship "Heart Like A Stone" in SharanMcQuack's "Duck Tales" fanfic "Sailing, sailing" before Burger Beagle's fixation on food leads him to grab the wrong explosives-rigged remote and end up sinking the "Heart Like A Stone."

(4.) A term for canasta players whose hands can make groups of three or more identical cards (card suits are not usually a factor in canasta, though deuces and Jokers are also used to create melds in canasta) or gin players who have three or four identical cards (the identical cards can be any combination of hearts, clubs, diamonds, and/or spades) or at least three or four sequential cards (the sequential cards are always from the same card suit).

(5.) Influenced by this line in the often-covered song "If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Want to Be Right)": 'If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right' Luther Ingram's classic song about a doomed romance between one person and a lover who is married to somebody else has been covered so many times that I can't keep track of all of the subsequent singers.