AN:

I typically write the chapters in a couple hours, so even though they are short, I will be updating frequently. The cover image is Sakura's new desert look. I will post a better quality link on my profile.

It has been a few years since the Fourth Shinobi War has ended. Kakashi became the rokudaime Hokage. Naruto is famous and renowned around the world and is more or less diligently preparing for his role as the Kakashi's predecessor. Sasuke, of course, has left again, but everyone, particularly the civilians, refers to him has their "shadowed hero." No one looks at me. They don't see me.

I work long shifts at the hospital everyday. A bland, monotone routine. Just going through the motions, I hardly feel like a person anymore. Nothing changes. Everyday is the same. Wake up. Clean up. Double-shift at the hospital. Eat food. Go to sleep.

Kakashi will not even assign me missions anymore. Just like before, he does not think I can do anything. How did I not prove myself?! I fought beside them. I played an essential role. I am no less a hero than they are. Kakashi and Naruto would have died before Kaguya even appeared had it not been for me. I was on the front lines just the same as them. I am no less a hero than any of them. Why did Kakashi of all people have to become Hokage? The person who thinks the absolute least of me.

I do not even have the hope of waiting this out. After Kakashi's reign is Naruto. Naruto will no sooner release me onto the field than our ex-sensei. He feels this pathetic need to protect my fragile little body from the world.

I crave battle. I crave conflict. (Why else would I fall in love with the most difficult man in the world?) Most of all I crave the feeling of warm, fresh blood between my fingers. I care not for that of the obese diabetic who has knowlingly destroyed his body. I want the blood of a shinobi in the peak shape of his life. I want to be the cause of the damage –of the gore. I desire it to be mine. For all the bodies I have repaired, I want to match in bodies I have destroyed. I need that balance.

Who knows, perhaps I have just lost it. Perhaps I have just gone insane. I wonder when it happened. What started my fall into sadism? Am I just a psychopath? A sociopath? I remain unsure. All I know anymore is that I have to leave. I can no longer stay in this village that stifles me. That prevents me from achieving my most basic goals.

The village ignores me anyways. No one loves me. No one adores me. No one celebrates me. No one fears me. In their eyes, I am still helpless. I am overshadowed by my peers around me. They do not even offer me half the respect as they did my shishou –a woman I know I have long since surpassed. In their eyes, I am barely more than the average medic. I am the person they call on when someone they actually value is hopelessly damaged. I am the medic they expect to heal them, but even when I perform miracles before their eyes, they hardly spare me the passing glance.

Perhaps they would look at me if I reveal just how far I have fallen. Maybe they will look at me if I am a threat. When I am harming the village they hold so dearly. The village they love. The village that has all but forgotten me.

If no one loves me, I will have them hate me. Just like my long since dead parents. When they were alive, they avoided me like the plague. Maybe they somehow knew that I would turn into a monster, but even that would not justify what they did to a young child. I joined the ninja academy because I wanted them to tell me they were concerned for my safety. I wanted them to tell me that they were actually concerned for my life. They never did. When I left for long missions, I would wait for them to tell me to be careful, for them to tell me to stay safe. Those words never came just like they never do. I swear they were disappointed everytime I returned. After I told them about the Land of Waves mission and all my brushes with death, they did not even react. My father immediately returned to reading his paper. How stereotypical. I, a twelve year old newly genin, was placed in a life threatening situation against A-ranked missing nins and a crime lord, and my own parents did not care. A normal mother and father would have been furious. A normal mother and father would have gone to the Hokage and demanded that Kakashi be punished for not valuing the safety of their child enough to turn back after the first attack. This is when I decided that I was alone with them. I just decided to make them notice me by reminding them of the power I had over them. My civilian parents deserved no better. I would twirl my kunai during breakfast. I would shoot them glares as cold as those Sasuke gave me in my youth. It felt nice to have someone finally recognize me as a true ninja. When I left my house, I, however, was still complacent in my weakness. The other people in the village have not yet crossed the same line my parents had, but now they have.

The village gates have never looked so attractive before. The forest that awaits me has never looked so inviting. I have been eyeing them for a few months now. Finally it is time to move towards them.

As I pass the small guard station, Izumo mechanically asks "What is your business?" as required for all shinobi leaving without a mission scroll in hand.

I respond with a warm smile that puts Sai's to shame, "Just gathering some medical herbs nearby."

With a brief nod, he finds my answer acceptable and records it in the daily log. If I am successful in my objective, that lie will be the amusing beginning of the treason against my former home.

I find it hard not to snicker at Kotetsu and Izumo's ignorance. They likely assume the pack on my back is filled with foraging supplies and herb containers. Little do they know that it is filled to the brim with storage scrolls. Most of the scrolls I have prepared contain weapons and enough supplies to keep me going until I find an efficient enough system to support myself, but one scroll is different. One scroll contains several others. Village secrets, forbidden jutsu, the medical files on every active shinobi in the Hidden Village. They were mostly obtained through others overlooking me. Everyone just assumes that the pretty little pink-haired girl is not capable of harm or maliciousness. I will admit, Tsunade's choice to give me such unlimited access was less patronizing and more selfish. She did not want to due the work of hokage herself and often shoved it off on me. In order for me to do it, it only made since to give me higher clearance than an ANBU Captain. At least I do not have to worry about betraying her –she passed on now anyways. The one person here who saw value in me is gone due to the excessive use of her yin seal.

My current research project is aimed at correcting that flaw, and the data is promising. Naruto allowed me to extensively study the regenerative properties of the Kyuubi's chakra. He found it amusing that I found myself a little "pet project" to keep me occupied. He felt as if he was humoring me. He feels as if my aim for power is a silly little hobby. Soon he will realize how wrong he has been. With my limited knowledge of Chiyo's resurrection jutsu, I am close to an answer. I am on the edge of a breakthrough and it feels amazing. I have already managed to refine the yin seal more carefully than Tsunade allowing me to minimize the amount of aging with each use, and I know that very soon I will stop the aging all together. I have no doubts.

Once I am a suitable distance away from the village –past the sight of the standard ANBU patrols, I end my leisurely stroll and hop into the trees with a passion I have not experienced in years. With the distance between me and the village that has belittled me growing, I murmur under my breath

"Fuck you, Kakashi."