Thanks to Olna Jenn for cheerleading and beta reading and to SabaceanBabe and Adrian Turtle for beta reading.
"Of course I love you." Prince Brand of Amber didn't bother turning to face Jasra. "I'm not so petty as to lie about that." He stared out at the swirling snow.
"Forgive me if I doubt." She sounded less ready for reconciliation than her words implied.
He considered his options and sighed. "You have no living rivals, and I return loyalty in kind."
"So there have been others." She moved to stand next to him. "What happened to your loyalty to them?"
He turned his head so that he could admire her profile. "It passed when they did." He put a hand on her arm and was pleased when she didn't shake it off immediately. "Come, sit by the fire. We can have mulled wine while we talk."
She met his eyes. "I want to know about them."
He drew her closer to the hearth, pulling her down with him among the cushions. "Of course you do. I want to know who's been important to you, too. You will tell me, won't you?"
"Honesty for honesty." Her eyes told him that she didn't expect truth from him.
He inclined his head, accepting her terms. "There's only one who matters." He rose to fetch them wine. "Well, who mattered. He's so long dead he's dust by now." He wasn't sure where to start, so he stalled. "This should have been on one of my father's lists of things not to do in Shadow. The lists were about half bullshit, aimed at keeping us from the Courts and other inconvenient truths, but some of those warnings made sense enough to make us cautious as we tested boundaries. For those who can't shapeshift, paying attention to the mix of gases in the air really is critical."
She laughed.
He turned to look at her again and smiled. He shrugged and poured the wine. "Those lists go on and on about how Shadows are never truly like the original. It's true that there's always distortion, always change. Dad told us, but we all tested it. At least, I imagine that we did. None of us admitted fighting Shadows of Benedict or seducing shadows of Fiona or-" He smiled again as he offered her a long stemmed goblet. "None of us admitted any of it."
He sat a little distance from her, choosing his place so that she could see him without twisting. "Of course, none of us mentioned, either, that sometimes the differences don't matter, especially for a short encounter." He grinned. "Sometimes, the wrongness adds savor to the encounter." He took a sip of wine and let silence hang for a few seconds. "The real danger, at least the one I found, was that long association with a Shadow created new habits in me- not so bad if I forgot Llewella despised mint but potentially lethal if I kissed her."
This time, Jasra's laughter lasted longer. She lifted her cup to him then drank.
"I was younger and stupider. I thought that the dangers of habit wouldn't exist if I sought a Shadow of myself. He would always stay clearly other than the original, no matter how much time I spent with him."
"A Shadow of yourself?" She sounded amused rather than shocked.
Now he laughed. "Yes, darling, a Shadow of myself. Names were something of a difficulty as neither of us cared to accept a nickname. Still, we both always knew who was meant when the other used our name."
"You loved a Shadow of yourself. How…." She shook her head. "When did you know you loved him?
"It crept up on me. I don't think there was a single moment when I knew. I suppose that does make a poor story. Try this one..."
~~o~~
I paused in the doorway, letting the light catch me. The hair has to be good for something, and on this occasion, it made me striking. I'm far from the most theatric in the family, but I do know how to make an entrance.
The crowd in the bar for the most part ignored me. One or two looked twice before turning to stare at my Shadow twin across the room. He looked up from his cards, met my eyes and smiled a greeting. In a single motion, he collapsed his hand and tossed it on the table.
I gave him a bow.
He stood in an unhurried fashion, presumably making his excuses. The others at the table looked my way, and I gave them a smile. One put a hand on his arm only to have it shaken off. He might not be me, but he disliked being told what to do as much as ever I did.
"Good evening," he said. "I didn't expect you for a few hours yet."
"My other business concluded more rapidly than I'd hoped. Shall I buy you a drink or would you like to get going?
He frowned at me. "A drink, I suppose." He sounded wary. "The whiskey here is excellent, at least by my standards."
As it turned out, he was right. The whiskey was quite good. I noted the location in case I was ever in the vicinity again and in need of a drink.
Alcoholically fortified, we strolled out into the night. I took the liberty of shifting us so that the stench of the sea became less noticeable without losing us the warm breeze. The street lamps gave enough light that we collected quite a few stares.
"What is it you want this time?" he asked after we'd walked a few blocks.
"The pleasure of your company. You're less stupid than most anyone else."
He snorted softly. "Because I'm like you."
"That's certainly part of the attraction." I put a hand on his elbow, and he let me. "You're as much not like me as you are like. That keeps things from getting boring." I always spoke of boredom when he asked those sorts of questions. Boredom looked better on me than narcissism.
He stopped walking forward and turned to press his lips against mine. As usual, the experience was intensely satisfying. Neither of us had to reach or bend, and we both knew what the other wanted. There are advantages to shared physiology.
I pulled back first. "I'd intended to wait for privacy, but I'm prepared for sex here if that's what you want."
As I'd hoped, he reddened just a little. "I might want to come back here."
"Then walk with me further. I have a place in mind. Unless there's something you'd like?"
"A soft mattress with soft sheets." He shrugged. "I don't need candied violets or a celestial orchestra." He twisted the ring he wore on the index finger of his right hand.
"The ring, does it work as we hoped?" I knew it did, but I also knew he'd had doubts.
"Better." This time, he took my arm. "I haven't stumbled onto a battlefield once since you gave it to me."
I held up my own right hand to show a ring that looked identical. "I told you. The broken places between are just where it's easiest to move. Other places are possible with the right tools." I shifted us toward an inn with a hot spring. The bedding would be comfortable, and the other amenities would be welcome.
"Who gave you your ring?"
"My father." He'd pushed me out on the Pattern when he deemed it time. That was close enough. "The court sorcerer taught me to make them."
"Can you teach me?"
I hesitated. I probably could. He had power enough, and teaching probably wouldn't be that hard, not with a student as intelligent as he had to be. "I've never taught. You'll have to be patient with me."
"We both know how to be patient." He rubbed the ring.
"True. We found each other, after all."
"You went looking." It wasn't even a question.
"Are you unhappy?" I hoped he wasn't. He was better company than the Shadows of my siblings.
"Not at the moment." He looked around in appreciation as we walked along the boardwalk of a clothing optional beach.
I detoured a little to keep the beach for a while. As we strolled along, I started telling him the theory behind sorcery and other minor powers. As I'd expected, he proved a quick study.
We found the first pool before we reached the inn. Steam rose from the water. Two men sat, soaking in the shallows. They waved cheerfully at us as we passed.
"That should be the hottest pool," I told him. "Down nearer the inn, the water is cooler. There's even a pool cut deep enough for swimming."
He nodded then asked a question about lynchpins.
The inn was a rambling building with stucco walls. We didn't have the best room in the place, but we did have the most private. The down mattress rolled our bodies together while the flannel sheets surrounded us in warmth. We used our knowledge of each other's bodies to pleasure each other.
We spent three weeks together in that place, two weeks longer than I'd planned. He mastered rudimentary sorcery before we left. I enjoyed having a student who could keep up with my thoughts and a sexual partner who could keep up with my body. I believe he enjoyed both forms of keeping up.
~~o~~
"That's it?" Jasra stared at Brand incredulously. "I expected juicy details."
"Details can wait." His eyes moved slowly over her body. "I wouldn't mind showing you in a bit."
She pouted. "That's not the same."
"No, it's better." He saluted her with his cup. "At least, I'll enjoy it more." He sighed. "We met at intervals over the course of the next several decades. I taught him what he could learn, and he learned to make the most of the powers he had. It ended badly, of course. I should have known it would."
"I'm sorry." She didn't sound it.
Brand shrugged. "He tried to kill me, to take my power for his own. I should have seen it coming." He set down his now empty cup. "After all, I would never be content in his position. I gave him too many glimpses of greater power and of the ways I would always surpass him."
"Ah." Jasra set down her own cup. "I'm sorry. Really."
He shrugged. "It's been centuries. The grief has waned." He wondered if she'd take the rest as she should, as a warning and a promise. "I did consider keeping him, just binding him away somewhere so that I could visit him when I wished. Until you, I've had no better lover." He reached over to stroke her hair. "I think he assumed I would if he failed to kill me. Instead, I killed him. It seemed kinder."