Chapter 1

That day was the most important of my life. It's weird… I didn't realise it at the time, but it changed me. Or maybe it just made me recognise the person that I'd always been, I don't know. But it was the day that I stopped being a kid. The day I stopped being Timmy…

It was the end of summer, and I could feel the chill in the air as soon as I woke. I knew that soon the streets around my home would be covered with fallen leaves, and I'd have to swap my t-shirts for sweaters. Summer was always a strange time in Gotham City, and now more than ever – the bright sunlight always seemed at odds with the dark, frightened mood of most of the people who lived there. Of course, I was only thirteen, and I hadn't had chance to see the world for what it was. I still believed in black and white. I suppose… this is the story of how I came to see the world in all its ugly, nuanced glory.

Of course, it started like any other day. Don't they all?

The schoolyard was buzzing with excitement – the news had filtered through that the terrorist we all knew as the Joker had been captured. For the last couple of weeks there had been a sense of dread covering everyone that I knew, even us kids. Though the explosions and the danger had all been at the other side of the city, it had seemed like people were just waiting for it to reach us, and ruin our lives. The teachers reeked of it, and so did the parents. I guess it was inevitable that it would rub off on us as well.

But it was over now. At least, that was what people were telling us – the newsreaders said it, the police were saying it, the teachers… The Joker was behind bars, and this was the first day in weeks that they hadn't started the day by warning us about how dangerous it is out on the streets.

"Hey, Timmy", a voice called. I was in the usual spot I occupied after school - sat on the steps outside the cafeteria, eating the small lunch that I had prepared myself that morning. I looked up and saw the smiling face of my friend Eddie.

"Hey", I replied. "What's up?"

Eddie sat down on the steps beside me. "Nothing much", he said. Then he stayed silent for a long moment.

I took a long look at him. I could tell that there was something bothering him – he was avoiding looking at me, and whenever he did that I knew that he was hiding something. He was pretty easy to read.

"Eddie", I said. "What's up with you? You've got a face like a smacked ass. Did Josie break up with you or something?"

Eddie frowned and shook his head. Josie was Eddie's girlfriend, and had been for almost a year. Most of my friends only stayed with their girls for a few weeks at a time, so it was refreshing to see Eddie putting in a bit of commitment. I hadn't had a girlfriend for a long time. Although, I admit, there were a few girls who were interested. The problem was always that I just wasn't.

"No!" Eddie replied, offended at the suggestion. "Nothing like that. It's just… her mom is still forcing her to go straight home after school. And she's not the only one – Jim, Carl and Dan are all heading straight home after school as well. It sucks. I thought that with the Joker locked up things would go back to the way they were".

I nodded my understanding. There was definitely a change in people's moods since the news broke, but they were still frightened – I could see it in their eyes. There had always been crime in Gotham – a lot of it. But it was just… mobsters and murders. There had never been someone who just tried to break people down before. People were still reeling from it, and they were scared of it happening again.

"Give it a bit of time", I said. "People will calm down again eventually. When everything else goes back to the way it was, people will too. And in the meantime, you'll have to make do with hanging out with just me".

Eddie didn't seem satisfied. He leaned back on the stairs and scrunched up his face. "Yeah… maybe", he said. Then, after a brief pause, he changed the subject. "Hey Timmy, listen to this one".

I rolled my eyes. Eddie was my best friend, and he was a great guy, but he had one annoying habit – riddles. He was always telling riddles, and he always had a smug smile on his face when he asked one that people couldn't figure out. But I always could, and it bothered him, so he had dedicated his life to finding a riddle that I couldn't work out.

He sat up with a serious expression. "I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space. I am essential to creation, and I surround every place. What am I?"

I smirked, and he knew that I had the answer. It was an easy one.

"The letter 'E'", I replied. "That was an easy one, Eddie. Try harder".

"Gah", Eddie cried. He stood up and looked down at me. "One of these days", he said, waving his finger at me. "One of these days I'll find one that you can't get, and then you'll get what's coming to you!"

He spun round and walked away, and I watched him go. After about ten yards he stopped and looked back. "Well?" he called back. "Are you gonna get off your fat ass or what?"

I grinned and followed him.

After school we always went to the local martial arts club. The guy who ran it was Eddie's older brother, James. We always called him 'Spider', because whenever we sparred with him it always seemed like he was fighting us with four arms and four legs.

I don't know why I was so into martial arts. I guess it was because of what happened the night my mom died. It was… almost two years before. The Batman had been active for just a month or so, and everyone still felt good about him being out there. But someone had come to Gotham to destroy it. I don't know who or why, but he almost pulled it off.

Anyway, I was walking back to my mom's apartment with her. It was in the narrows – the worst part of Gotham, which is saying a lot. It was filled with scumbags and weirdo's, and, unknown to us, there had just been a break out at Arkham, the local nut house. The streets were slowly filling with criminals and crazies, and we were right in the middle of them, oblivious.

Three of them came at us from the shadows. They grabbed my mom, and she screamed so loud that it hurt my ears. One of them turned to me and started waving a knife in my face. He probably threatened me, but I can't remember anything that he said. All I can remember is the shine of the knife that he held inches in front of my face.

And I ran. I left my mom behind. I never saw her again.

I've hated myself for it ever since. I didn't even try to fight for her… I was too scared. It didn't matter to me that I was only an eleven year old kid, and there were three grown men attacking us. Even if I stood no chance at all, I still should have tried. So I learned how to fight, so that it wouldn't happen ever again.

Anyway, me and Eddie walked into the club. Spider was in there, sparring with a couple of older kids. He saw us and waved, and we nodded back to him. Then we spent a couple of minutes just watching him spar. He was good – better than either of us at least. We'd made a bet a few months ago over who would be the first of us to get good enough at fighting to take Spider down. Neither of us had even come close yet.

Suddenly, Eddie punched me on the shoulder – hard – and ran onto the mats. I cried out, and rubbed my shoulder.

"Stop whining, you pussy", Eddie shouted. Then he raised his hands and beckoned me over. He wanted to spar.

I walked over onto the mat and readied myself. In truth, I could never beat him. He always seemed to be able to figure out what I was about to do, so when I went in to attack he had already decided how to counter me. And that was what happened this time as well. I dived in without really thinking. I tried to grab his shoulders, planning on wrapping my leg around the back of his and forcing him down onto the mat. But he sidestepped me and grabbed me right arm as I fell past him. He swung me around and dragged me up over his shoulder, and he slammed me down onto the mat. Then he rolled on top of me and forced me down.

"I win again", he said smugly.

I smiled thinly. I would never have admitted it, but the way he always beat me made me really angry. It seemed like no matter how much effort I put in I was never good enough.

"Yeah, well", I said. "Next time I'll bring a fucking baseball bat and break your legs".

Eddie laughed and rolled off me. We both stood up just as Shadow was walking over to us.

"You want a drink?" Eddie asked. I nodded, and he walked off without acknowledging Spider.

"Hey", Spider said.

"Hey", I replied. "How's it going?"

Spider sighed. I don't know exactly how old he was – in his twenties, if I had to guess – but he was much taller and bigger than me. "Same old", he said wearily. "So I saw you sparring with Eddie. He kicked your ass".

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah…" I replied. "I'll get him next time".

"Not if you're still fighting like that you won't". Spider folded his arms across his chest and looked at me. "You're not anticipating anything. It's not just about being stronger or faster than your opponent… you have to be smarter. Eddie's beating you because he can figure out how you're thinking, so he knows what you're gonna do before you do it. You need to be unpredictable, you know?"

I nodded. "Thanks", I said. Eddie was walking back over to us. Spider looked up at him, and then he walked away. I knew there was something going on between the two of them, but I didn't want to ask about it. If Eddie wanted me to know about it then he'd tell me, I figured.

Eddie handed me my drink and we spent a while sitting and talking.

It was about ten by the time I got home. The front door was already wide open, which I knew meant my dad was home. He was a truck driver, and he often worked late into the night, so it was odd for him to be home so early. And it was a bad thing for me.

Me and my dad had a… strained relationship. My parents had got a divorce about three years ago. My mom moved into her apartment in the narrows while my dad stayed in the house out in the west side of the city. I'd followed my mom into the narrows – she was the one who had always been there with me when I was growing up while my dad was away working, so it felt natural to go with her. My dad didn't want the hassle of taking care of a kid. Or, at least, that was the impression that I always got.

But that had changed when my mom died. I was lumbered with a horrible sense of guilt, and my dad was lumbered with me – a kid that he knew nothing about, and who he didn't know how to deal with. And so I'd directed all of my anger and guilt at him, and I blamed him for forcing her out into the narrows, where she had been killed.

I closed and locked the door as quietly as I could and crept into the living room. My dad was asleep on the couch, bottle still in hand. The lights were off, which meant that he must have been out before the sun went down, which was at least a couple of hours ago.

I sighed, and moved to turn the TV off. But when my eyes locked on to what was on the screen, I froze. It was the news.

The headline, which scrolled across the bottom of the screen, read 'The Batman murders six people'.