Hello, I am back from the dead.

Terrible sorry, school is just so... in the way.

One of the best people in my life just died today, and I'm feeling very down. Reviews would be nice :3

Ah, Long Live, Mak. Long Live.

Now, about the story... It's probably a crackfic, idk xD

I'd love it if you guys enjoy it, though. Humour isn't very prominent, but there isn't exactly a "Sharp Wit" category.

Much love,

Thalia Malfoy

"How about Sebastian?"

"No, it makes me think of crabs. Harold?"

"How about Ronald, after me?"

"Ronald, I have to scold you often enough, I don't want to get confused by both of you!"

"Okay, okay. Relax, Hermione."

Hermione was pregnant with their second child, and she and Ron were deciding on names. Recently, they've found out that it was a boy, so at least the list narrowed down a little. Hermione could give birth any day now, so they had to decide fast.

"Lukas?" Hermione suggested.

Ron wrinkled his nose. "No. How about Garfield?" Hermione waited to see if he was joking, but he looked perfectly serious to her. Anyway, he couldn't have heard of the Muggle character.

"No, please. I do not want my son to be named after an orange, fat cat." Ron looked at her in confusion and then shrugged.

Hermione stood up to stretch. They were in the library, and Hermione wanted to get distracted. She wanted to read. Badly.

"Hermione you shouldn't tire yourself, you know that," Ron chided her, pushing her back down the armchair.

She groaned. "Ron, I need to read, or else I'll lose my mind here!"

"Okay, okay, I'll get you a book." He looked around. "Hey, this is one of your favourites, right? It's by that Hugo guy, anyway."

Hermione smiled. "Yes, he's an incredible author. The books he's written — Les Miserables is my favourite. Thank you! Oh, you should read this—"

Ron laughed, and put up his hands. "No, no, Hermione. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean I have to feign interest on your Muggle books. Or in any books, for that matter."

Hermione laughed softly, and began reading.

Ron looked at her in affection, and then shook his head. He was a lucky man.

"I'll just go tuck Rose in," he told Hermione, referring to their three-year-old daughter. Hermione looked up, nodded, and quickly went back to that extremely thick book. Ron laughed softly and walked out.

Rose's room looked almost like their library. The walls were covered by shelves and shelves of books. Hermione had wanted it, and taught Rose to read when she was just two years old. Young Rose could already go through books like Cinderella. The other, much thicker, books were, according to Hermione, "for the future".

Rose was reading now, on her bed.

"Hey, Rosie," Ron called. "Time for bed."

"Daddy," said Rose, smiling up at him and putting her arms around his neck. "Where's Mummy?"

"She's resting. Your baby brother will come any day soon."

"What's his name?"

"We don't know yet, kiddo," Ron said, laying her down the bed. "What do you think?"

"Hugo," Rose said simply. "Hugo, like Mummy's favourite writer. And it starts with an H, like Mummy's name."

"You know what, Rosie?" Ron asked, putting the covers around her. "That's a very good idea. I'll ask Mummy." He tickled her, and she giggled happily.

Ron smiled. It was nice that his daughter was still young enough to get tickled and get tucked into bed. In a few years, she would start getting annoyed by it. She would start growing up.

He stroked her hair carefully, as if handling porcelain. "When baby Hugo comes, you'll take care of him, won't you?" he asked.

Rose nodded seriously. "I will, Daddy. I'll be best sister in the world."

Ron ruffled her hair. "Good girl."

"Ron!" I heard from the library. "Argh! RON!"

Rose sat up and looked worried. Ron gently pushed her back down and said, "Wait here, Rosie, I'll just see what's wrong with Mummy." Rose obediently nodded her head and pulled the covers up her chin.

He ran to the library, and saw Hermione leaning against the table, clutching her swollen belly.

"Argh, Ron," she gasped, breathing heavily. "My… water… broke."

And to skip a long and frantic process wherein Ron runs to the bathroom and throws up in anxiety, and Hermione hitting him on the head with a book when he got back…

…Yeah, let's also skip the part wherein Ron screams at Ginny through the Floo network to come over their house to take care of Rose, interrupting Harry and Ginny's first try to conceive a baby who will later be known as Albus Severus Potter…

…And when James comes in to see what the noise is about, and was in perfect timing to see both his parents naked…

… Ah, here it is: In Hermione's hospital room in St. Mungo's!

Hermione smiled weakly up at Ron, carrying their first son. "Isn't he beautiful?"

Ron nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. "Ravishing, just like his dad."

The Healer who was in charge of Hermione and her baby spoke, "Hugo Arthur Weasley, you said?"

Hermione nodded in excitement and looked affectionately up at her husband. "Oh yes, it's perfect. Rose is a genius."

The Healer smiled at them, and left the room.

Hermione cooed at the baby. "I shall call you Victor when you're a good boy."

Ron looked down at her, perplexed. "I did not name my child after Vicky."

"Oh shush, you already said you were okay with it," Hermione snapped, placing little kisses over her baby's forehead.

"What?!"

Hermione sighed exasperatedly. "Look at my copy of Les Miserables."

Ron did, and stared intently at the author's name. There it was, bolded and italicized. Victor Hugo.

"I named my eldest son after bloody Viktor Krum?!"