Reasons Behind Actions
- Ichigo had never understood why Grimmjow chose to betray Aizen, why he joined the Shinigami. Maybe some unexpected alone time with the Arrancar would help him figure it out.
Disclaimer: I do not own any right to Bleach or any of the characters in the story.
Warnings: Yaoi (boy x boy), swearing, OOCness
The forest was quiet, just the way Ichigo liked it. He had just reached the top of a particularly large hill and was just taking in the sight of a spectacular sunset, the sound of a gentle wind whistling through the trees, the smell of fresh air, when there was a loud crashing sound behind him followed by a string of curses.
"Motherfucker! What the hell is this?!"
Ichigo sighed and opened his eyes, turning in time to see his companion stumble over the crest of the hill into sight. He couldn't suppress the small smile tugging at his lips when he saw what all the commotion was about. The former Espada had somehow gotten a tree branch wedged in his hollow hole and was having a difficult time pulling it out.
"You really are hopeless aren't you?" Ichigo asked, half in amusement, half exasperation at the sight. With a reluctant sigh he walked over and grabbed the end of the branch, giving it a sharp tug and it came free, leaving only a small puncture hole in his shirt.. "Better?"
The blue haired Arrancar shrugged, carefully avoiding Ichigo's eyes. "I guess." He muttered finally.
"I told you not to follow me." Ichigo reprimanded, returning to his previous position overlooking the landscape beneath them. Sitting down, he folded his legs underneath himself and sighed deeply before closing his eyes. He was just relaxing when there was a loud huff to his right, followed by a groan and the sound of a body hitting the ground next to him. "Try and be quiet please?" Ichigo asked, attempting to keep his voice level and a flare of anger made his eye twitch. "I know it's not in your nature but just shush for at least a minute."
All he received in reply was a snort and silence fell again. Ichigo frowned after about five minutes of this, opening his eyes to peer at Grimmjow. To his surprise he saw that he was sat in an identical posture to his own, albeit Ichigo's own was more natural since Grimmjow looked a bit stiff. His eyes were closed and his brow furrowed as though he was thinking hard. Feeling Ichigo's gaze he opened his eyes to look at the younger man.
"What?"
"Nothing." Ichigo replied, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice and Grimmjow smirked.
"I can be quiet you know, it's just boring to do so." Relaxing into a more comfortable posture Grimmjow leaned back on his hands and peered upwards. "It's getting dark."
"So?"
A flash of teeth and Ichigo's breath caught in his throat, the sight still put him on edge. Grimmjow couldn't hurt him though, his powers were firmly locked away and he was unable to use them whilst wearing a black wristband Urahara had fashioned for him. Another upside to this was that Grimmjow couldn't remove it, that power lay directly in Ichigo's hands and giving Grimmjow his powers back was not at the top of Ichigo's priority list.
"Don't you think the Shinigami will be worried about you being missing?"
"Who says they don't know where I am?" He asked sharply and Grimmjow laughed.
"Please, you snuck out this morning earlier than that crackpot of a father you've got. Shame you were spotted huh?" Ichigo's eyes narrowed in annoyance. It was true he had tried to leave quietly without anyone noticing that morning but that didn't mean he was sneaking. And it was definitely a shame that Grimmjow had noticed and decided to follow. "When they find out I'm gone too, surely they'll think somethings up."
"As if you could hurt me."
"I don't need my powers to hurt you Kurosaki, I still have my strength. I could kill you with my bare hands if I chose to." He said this in a offhand voice which just riled Ichigo up.
With a loud scoff he glared at Grimmjow. "You kill me and that band is never coming off, you know that right? Besides you still couldn't kill me in a fair fight."
"Wanna bet?"
The dangerous edge to his voice set alarm bells ringing in Ichigo's head. "No." He replied cooly before closing his eyes again and with a deep sigh attempted to ignore the Arrancar sat next to him.
Ever since the war had ended, since Grimmjow had chose to fight against Aizen it seemed the man had made it his personal mission to annoy Ichigo as much as possible. The only upside to this as far as Ichigo could see was that he had a higher tolerance for insults and could control his temper far better now. If Grimmjow had said that to him a few months ago the two of them would be in the middle of a fist fight right now. As it was, Ichigo didn't come all the way out here to fight.
"Why are we here?" Grimmjow asking, interrupting Ichigo's thoughts.
"Because I like to be alone sometimes." He replied without opening his eyes or moving. "Shame I can't seem to have that anymore.
Since he had defeated Aizen the Soul Society had been keeping a close eye on him. For what Ichigo didn't know, maybe they thought he would try and take over like Aizen had planned to, maybe they thought his powers would spiral out of control. As it was his powers had diminished after using the final Getsuga Tenshou so even if he did have plans for world domination he couldn't do anything about it now.
"You're just as much as an outcast as me ain't ya Kurosaki?"
The question caught him off guard and Ichigo looked at Grimmjow first in surprise, then in wonder. What Grimmjow had said was true, he had noticed a growing rift between himself and his friends since defeating Aizen. It was almost as if they were afraid of him. The only one who treated him the same was in fact was the man sat next to him.
"I guess I am." He murmured softly in reply with a small shrug. He caught an odd expression flicker across Grimmjow's face, was it pity? "Don't go feeling sorry for me." Ichigo said sharply to the Arrancar.
"Who said I did, maybe I feel sorry for myself being stuck with your useless ass."
"You aren't stuck with me. Go if you want see if I care." Turning away from Grimmjow quickly Ichigo tried and failed to relax, the tension in his body was making him feel like an elastic band ready to snap at any moment.
"As if, you're the only one who can get this off." Grimmjow waved the band under Ichigo's nose. "I leave and I'm stuck with this forever."
"Wouldn't that be a tragedy." Ichigo muttered sarcastically, pushing his arm away. "Maybe if you left me alone and gave me some peace I'd think about removing it."
"Is that what you want?" Grimmjow asked quietly, arching an eyebrow. "One outcast to another, being alone sucks. You want to know why I hang around you? Because you're the only one who doesn't treat me like a monster." Whatever Ichigo was expecting, it wasn't that and he stared at Grimmjow in surprise unable to say anything. "Which is real pathetic isn't it since you hate me too."
"I don't hate you." Ichigo said quietly but Grimmjow just snorted and stood up.
"Whatever Kurosaki I'm off. Enjoy your solitude since you so obviously want it."
And with that Grimmjow was walking away, disappearing back into the trees and after a few minutes his footsteps faded away. Ichigo stared at the spot where the ex-Espada had vanished. Now that he was finally alone all he wanted was for Grimmjow to come back. The silence in his absence wasn't comforting anymore, it was smothering and the breeze from before sent a chill down his spine.
Before he could stop himself Ichigo was on his feet chasing after him. "Grimmjow!" He called loudly, quickly following the trail of destruction down the hillside in an effort to catch up to the Arrancar. "Grimmjow stop!" He didn't know if the man could hear him or not but Ichigo continued weaving through the broken branches on the floor.
After a while Ichigo began to think he really had driven the man away when he heard a noise up ahead. Slowing down he stepped over a particularly large tree branch and pushed through some bushes and came to a halt. The noise he had heard was a splashing sound and it became apparent immediately why, in front of him was a large lake. Spotting a pile of clothes at the edge he cautiously approached to find they were Grimmjow's.
Crouching down next to them he had just picked up the shirt when a voice called out, making him jump. "You better not be thinking about hiding them Kurosaki."
Whirling around he saw Grimmjow was in the lake. From what he could see it had a large drop off since the man was resting his arms on the edge to keep afloat but Ichigo couldn't see the rest of his body. "I wasn't." Ichigo replied after a long pause before approaching Grimmjow and sitting down next to him. "How didn't you find this place?" He asked, indicating at the lake.
"Call it animal instinct." When Ichigo looked at him blankly Grimmjow smiled. It struck Ichigo that this was the first time he had seen the man truly smile. There was no jeering or any other cruel intention behind it and even though Ichigo could see his sharp canines, it didn't set him edge as it usually would. "Imagine Heuco Mundo right?" Ichigo nodded, not needed much imagination to conjure up the desert in his mind. "Imagine trying to find a water source, it ain't easy correct?"
Thinking about this for a moment, Ichigo nodded. "I suppose so…"
"I always had a knack for finding water." Grimmjow shrugged.
Ichigo had a sudden thought. "I'm surprised you like water, aren't you a cat?"
The man looked affronted at this. "I'm not a cat!" He hissed, eyes narrowing slightly. "I have certain feline qualities but that doesn't make me a cat nor does it mean I hate water. On the contrary I like water."
"Alright alright, no need to get your panties in a twist."
"Get my what-" Grimmjow didn't seem able to finish the sentence but he took the statement as a grave insult by the expression on his face. Ichigo couldn't help it, he started to laugh. "So what about you Kurosaki, you hate water?" Managing to get a hold of himself again Ichigo shook his head. "Good."
Before Ichigo could ask what that meant Grimmjow had grabbed his leg and with a smirk had pulled Ichigo into the water. With a loud splutter he resurfaced, splashing for a moment to regain himself before treading the water, glaring at Grimmjow who was laughing instead now.
"You asshole!" Ichigo yelled, managing to get hold of the man and shoved his head under the water before swimming to the side and climbing out. "My clothes are soaked now!" Grimmjow was still smiling when he came back up and watched with amusement as Ichigo started peeling his soaking clothes off. Down to his underwear Ichigo stood there for a moment glaring at Grimmjow before the wind caused a large shiver to wrack his body.
Grimmjow seemed to take pity on him because his expression softened slightly and he climbed out of the water. Ichigo's eyes widened when he realised Grimmjow was naked at quickly covered his face. "Jeeze you could've warned me!"
"What?" The Arrancar asked in confusion. "Ain't you never seen a guy naked before?"
"No!"
"Ever seen a woman naked?" His voice was right next to Ichigo's ear suddenly and the orange head jumped, opening his eyes to find Grimmjow was stood so close that their bodies were almost touching. Unable to say anything he shook his head, determined not to look down he kept his eyes trained on Grimmjow's face as the man seemed to be working something out. "So… You're a virgin."
"What does that have to do with anything!" Ichigo spat, finding his voice again.
Grimmjow shrugged but he looked amused as he turned away to find his close, Ichigo quickly shutting his own eyes again. "I always thought you and that Inoue chick had something going on."
"Orihime?" Ichigo asked in confusion, forgetting his embarrassment for a moment. "No, she's like a sister to me."
"Somehow I don't think she feels the same." Ichigo was about to ask what that meant but flinched as something was shoved over his head. After a moment he realised it was a shirt and quickly pulled his arms through it. It was dry and the faint smell coming from it distinctly reminded him of Grimmjow. "You can't tell me you've never noticed?"
Again his voice sounded so close and Ichigo opened his eyes to find Grimmjow stood in front of him, barely an inch between them as the Arrancar frowned down at him. "Noticed what?" Ichigo wasn't sure what this was but a strange feeling had enveloped him. It wasn't fear, he was no longer afraid of Grimmjow even though he knew the man could quite easily snap his neck if he so chose to in that moment. No this was something new, something Ichigo had noticed in the recent weeks whenever he was in Grimmjow's company. He couldn't explain it, was he happy around the Arrancar?
The answer to that was yes and no, the man was an annoying, self-centred jerk most of the time which definitely annoyed Ichigo. But he couldn't ignore this growing feeling that Grimmjow was the only person in the world right now who understood his predicament, the only one who understood him. This thought had been growing in his mind for a while now and Ichigo was beginning to see the Arrancar not as an enemy, but more as a friend maybe, or something else even. He hadn't quite figured out these confusing emotions and thoughts yet to understand them, but in their current situation things were becoming a lot clearer.
"Are you really that oblivious?"
"To what?" Ichigo asked again an edge in his voice.
Grimmjow laughed. "She's in love with you."
The simple statement took a profound amount of time to make sense in Ichigo's mind. He had never had time for intimacy, in between his 'ability' to see ghosts and general high school life Ichigo had never really taken to anyone. After finding out about the Shinigami and Hollows and everything that followed a relationship was the last thing on his mind. Had he really been so blind as to Orihime's feelings? Sure he had defied orders to rescue her, but only because it was his fault she was in peril in the first place. If she had died Ichigo wouldn't have been able to live with himself. But as far as romance went, there was none as far as Ichigo was concerned.
"Don't be stupid, are you messing with me?"
"Nope, that's the truth." Ichigo jumped as Grimmjow grabbed the shirt thinking the man might punch him but after a moment realised he was doing the buttons up. "Have you never been in love?"
"Have you?" Ichigo countered. He didn't understand where this was going, maybe an hour ago the two of them were fighting ready to start punching each other. Now however they were having a conversation about love? "How would you know what love is, you don't have a heart."
That struck a nerve. Grimmjow's hands stilled halfway down the shirt and he looked at Ichigo sharply. "That's a stupid myth made up by the Shinigami to make them scared of hollows. I have a heart Kurosaki I just choose not to listen to it. Hollows may have lost their way but that doesn't mean we can't find our way back again. I'm part Shinigami remember?"
"Sorry." Ichigo muttered and after a long pause he asked again. "So have you ever been in love?"
Grimmjow shrugged returning to the shirt. "Dunno, maybe just once. But I don't know if you'd call it love or an obsession." Finishing the shirt he gave it a small tug and Ichigo who was currently trying figure out what that meant stumbled closer to the Arrancar. "Have you ever wanted someone so bad that you'd kill them just to get rid of the feelings you get when you're with them? Wanted them enough that you'd turn your back on your basic nature, become an outcast? Give up everything you are for them, everything you have to become so weak that you're basically human?"
Ichigo did understand. He knew perfectly well what Grimmjow was talking about, the man had turned his back on his fellow Arrancar's, joined the Shinigami who'm he knew wouldn't trust him and given up his powers. He had never understood why but was this it, for love? Who could Grimmjow want so bad that he'd do this for? As far as Ichigo knew the man hated everyone and everything in the Human world. Who held such sway over someone as reckless and dangerous as Grimmjow?
"Yes." Ichigo whispered, his voice thick with emotions he had repressed for so long. He hadn't told anyone this and know it seemed it would be Grimmjow who found out the truth. "I gave up my powers too remember? I became an outcast too. They all know how much power I had and they're scared. People I thought were my friends, my family and they can't even look my in the eye now because I'm the one who defeated Aizen. In fact, some of them are worried I'm going to be worse than Aizen.
Grimmjow snorted and let go of him, stepping away suddenly. "You can't be worse than Aizen."
"How do you know?"
"Because you're too good." Grimmjow emphasised the word, gesturing towards him. "You're too good to become twisted like him. You didn't let your power consume you like he did, you gave it up because you knew that was the only thing to stop him. Do you think Aizen would have done that?"
Something inside Ichigo crumbled at these words, something he didn't realised he had been carrying around for months now since the end of the war. Grimmjow was right Ichigo realised. He would never let power consume him, he had only gained strength to protect those he loved, never for personal gain and that's what made him different from Aizen, that's what made him good as Grimmjow had put it. It felt like someone had lifted the weight from his shoulders and Ichigo smiled his first true smile in what felt like a lifetime.
"Thanks."
Grimmjow blinked, looking at Ichigo with an odd expression. Then he smiled back that newfound smile and Ichigo felt something in his chest tighten at the sight, was it his heart? "No problem Kurosaki."
"You could start calling me by my first name you know. I call you Grimmjow." He blurted suddenly as the Arrancar started pulling his jacket on.
Night had fallen, the sun had fully set and there was no way the two of them could make it back to Ichigo's in the dark. In what little light they had left Ichigo could see Grimmjow shrug the jacket on before turning to look at him with a raised eyebrow. "Alright Ichigo." He said, emphasising his name and again Ichigo felt the sudden tightness inside him. "Help me find some wood for a fire."
They spent the next few hours preparing for the long night ahead. Ichigo had some skill in making campfires from his trips camping with his family but they stopped going after the death of his mother, at the time he was eight so he didn't remember all the details. Surprisingly Grimmjow knew a bit about camping too. Between the two of them they managed to build a fire and stockpiled enough word to keep the flames going until morning.
They weren't about to be bother by any creatures roaming in the forest, dangerous or not since Grimmjow could still be sensed as a predator, even without his powers and the animals stayed clear. Ichigo thankfully had backed enough food and water to last them until the next day so there wasn't anything left to worry about. Their only problem now was getting comfortable enough to sleep.
"You know, this ain't so bad." Grimmjow commented, throwing half a pack of crisps to Ichigo since he'd had his full and the orange head finished them off. "Don't know about this temperature though."
Ichigo silently agreed, it was getting colder now and even the warmth from the fire couldn't stop the shivers racking his body whenever the wind whipped through the clearing. They had dried his clothes by the fire so Ichigo was bundled in as many clothes as possible, even if they did smell a bit smoky. "Know anything about keeping warm?" He asked the Arrancar.
Grimmjow pondered the question for a moment before grinning widely at Ichigo. "Sure, we could fuck."
Rolling his eyes, Ichigo ignored the slight blush on his cheeks and was thankful it was too dark for Grimmjow to see. "In your dreams." He muttered, moving closer to the fire and he threw another branch in. The blue haired man muttered something and Ichigo frowned, looking up at him. "What?"
"Nothing." He replied with a sigh, also shifting closer and leaning across the fire Ichigo could see the light flickering in his eyes. The strange sight made Grimmjow seem inhuman, which technically he was, but more so, it made him look as if there was a strange power hidden in those eyes. Before he knew what he was doing Ichigo was kneeling across to get closer to Grimmjow, a small frown furrowing his forehead as he tried to decipher the strange look on the other's face. "You're cold right?"
"So?"
"Come here." Holding out his arms to Ichigo, the orange head looked at him suspiciously for a moment but there was no leering this time. With a reluctant sigh Ichigo moved closer to sit next to Grimmjow. Carefully, as if not to spook Ichigo the Arrancar grabbed his arms and pulled him so Ichigo found himself in the other's lap. "This is for survival right." He said sternly, unzipping his jacket before pulling Ichigo as close as possible so he could zip it up at his back.
It was only then Ichigo realised he was still wearing Grimmjow's shirt since he came into contact with bare skin. He was also surprised to find that the man was so warm, his skin almost burning against his own cold hands. "How are you so warm?"
He felt rather than saw Grimmjow shrug. "I don't really feel the cold, maybe because I'm not human. I know the temperature's dropping, but it feels warm still. I can feel your hands though, they're freezing."
Ichigo laughed, pressing them against the man's stomach, his grin widening when he jerked. "The amount of heat you're giving off, I'm sure I'll warm up soon." Hesitantly he rested his head against Grimmjow's chest. As Grimmjow had stated earlier, he did have a heart because Ichigo could hear the steady heartbeat. "Who do you love then?" He asked quietly.
"Save it for the morning." Grimmjow murmured back quietly and Ichigo felt the man rest his chin on top of his head with a weary sigh. "Get some sleep." Not needed to be told twice Ichigo pressed his cheek against Grimmjow's chest and soon fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
The following morning dawned bright and warm. Ichigo was woken to the pleasant warmth of the Suns rays beating down on the lakes edge and as he sat up, he realised Grimmjow was gone. Looking around in confusion he soon spotted the blue haired Arrancar back in the lake and let out a relieved sigh. Approaching the lake he waited until he gained Grimmjow's attention.
"Isn't it cold?"
"Refreshing is a better word for it." He swam a bit closer and Ichigo could see the smirk he wore. "Want to join me?"
Debating this for a moment, Ichigo couldn't see the harm and shrugged, peeling off the layers of clothes. When he was down to his underwear however he paused and looked at Grimmjow sternly. "Close your eyes."
"Jeeze, unlike you I have seen a guy naked before."
"I don't care, close your eyes." Ichigo glared at him for a long moment and with a loud sigh Grimmjow did as he was told and closed them, turning around for good measure. Once Ichigo was sure the man couldn't see him he pulled off his last remainder of clothing and quickly got into the lake. "Refreshing my ass!" He yelled in surprise as the cold water shocked him into full awareness. "How can you not feel this?"
"Not human remember?" Grimmjow stated. "Can I open my eyes now?"
"I suppose." Ichigo replied grudgingly, the shock of the temperature slowly fading away. He understood what Grimmjow had meant though it was sort of refreshing and he was definitely awake now. "Don't try anything funny though."
"Only if you go along with it."
Ichigo rolled his eyes, ignoring Grimmjow's crudeness. Honestly he was surprised the man wasn't skipping off to Heuco Mundo to relieve himself half the time. The thought of this however made him frown, the way Grimmjow talked and acted, you'd think he was getting it on all the time or something yet Ichigo could barely remember being out of the Arrancar's company over the past few months.
"Hey Grimmjow?" The man raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue. "What you said about seeing guys naked and all that, are you gay?"
"Gay?" He repeated in confusion. "What the hell does that mean, is this another one of those stupid insults?"
Ichigo laughed, he couldn't help it. He forgot sometimes how uniformed Grimmjow was of the human world. "It means a guy who likes guys."
Grimmjow frowned deeply, thinking this over for a long time. "So what's the difference between that and anything else?" This wasn't a conversation Ichigo was expecting to have and he had to fight very hard not to laugh as he explained sexualities to Grimmjow who seemed to be getting more confused with each new term. "What the hell is wrong with you human's? Why does it have to be so complicated? Can't you just love someone without it having to be labelled?" He asked, emphasising the last word in disgust.
"Because the world doesn't work that way, at least not this world. How does it work for Hollows?"
Grimmjow snorted. "There's no such thing as love, at least not among normal hollows and there's far too few Vasto Lordes around to be chummy. If there's an attraction hollows will stick together for a while, it's rare but not unheard of. The more powerful the hollow, the more likely they will form some bond of attachment to others since they've got more control over their instincts."
"And you?" Ichigo asked quietly. "Did you ever form a bond with someone?"
"No." There was something in his voice, something akin to bitterness but Ichigo didn't quite catch it. "There was a group of us, I was fond enough of them not to eat them if you'd call that attachment. But it wasn't until Aizen found me, until I was an Espada and all this shit happened that instinct failed me."
Ichigo wanted to know more, but Grimmjow didn't seem ready to broach the subject just yet so he let it drop. They fell into a thoughtful silence, Ichigo pondering over what Grimmjow had told him. What had happened after Aizen had made him Arrancar that overrode his instincts? Remembered what the man had said the previous night about loving someone enough to do such a thing Ichigo couldn't even think of a person Grimmjow could possibly love. There was no-one he even tolerated for more than a few minutes let alone love.
Shaking his head Ichigo stopped trying to wrap his head around it. There was too much confusion when it came to Grimmjow to make any sense of it. Swimming back to the edge Ichigo went to pull himself out of the water but paused, turning to Grimmjow to tell him to turn away but to his surprise the man had already noticed as with a roll of his eyes did just that. Staring at the back of Grimmjow's head in puzzlement Ichigo gave himself a small shake and climbed out, quickly pulling some clothes on.
"Is it safe?" Grimmjow called after a few minutes. "Can I open my eyes or will I be blinded by the sight of you naked?"
"Hardy ha." He replied sarcastically as Grimmjow looked at him and grinned. "I'm not that ugly thanks."
"Never said you were." He commented casually before climbing out himself and Ichigo made a spluttering noise, quickly slapping his hands over his face.
"Warn me next time!" Ichigo hissed as the other laughed, passing by him to change into his own clothes. Peeking through his fingers Ichigo saw Grimmjow was changed and let out a sigh, removing his hands from his face. "You enjoy doing that, don't you."
"Only because you're so easy to embarrass. Honestly you'd think you've never seen a dick before, you got one ain't you?" Ichigo puffed himself up, glared at the man incredulously but he just chuckled. "I'm messing with you." Sitting down next to the smouldering remains of their fire he patted the space next to him and after a small pause Ichigo sat. "On the subject of it anyway what are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you gay, straight a lesbian or whatever?"
Ichigo laughed again, shaking his head in dismay. "I can't be a lesbian. Didn't you listen to what I said earlier?"
"Well excuse me for not know all your stupid human terms." Grimmjow bit back, his eyes narrowing slightly. "So what are you then?"
He had to think about it for a long moment and ended up shrugging. "No idea, I'll let you know when I find out. I've never been attracted to anyone before."
"Seriously expect me to believe that?"
"I'm serious!"
"Alright… Close your eyes."
"Why?" Ichigo asked suspiciously.
"Just do it."
With a sigh Ichigo did and waited. He could feel his heart beating faster than normal in his chest though he had no idea why. Was he nervous? What for? He stilled when Grimmjow moved, listening intently as the man moved closer to him. There was a long pause and Ichigo almost asked what he was about to do when he felt rather than heard Grimmjow lean closer to him. He could feel the heat from the man's body, the brush of Grimmjow's hair against his forehead where the man's hung down over his face.
He flinched when Grimmjow's hand touched his cheek but quickly realised the gentle touch was meant to calm him rather than alarm him. This in itself was odd, Grimmjow was not a gentle person. Ichigo almost opened his eyes but was stopped by the feeling of something warm press against his lips. It was only for an instant, barely there but he had felt it and something inside him reacted so strongly to the action a small gasp left his mouth.
Ichigo couldn't describe the feeling, it was gone in a flash before he could understand it but he knew one thing, he wanted to feel it again. He didn't need to ask because the warmth was back, it was hotter this time, almost burning against his mouth and again the new feeling resurged inside him. Ichigo felt himself respond, press back, his own mouth working of its own accord and then he understood what was happening.
Grimmjow had kissed him. Not only that, but Ichigo had kissed back.
Jerking away Ichigo's eyes snapped open and he stared at Grimmjow in shock.
"Now tell me, did you like that?" The Arrancar asked, his voice thick with some unknown emotion Ichigo couldn't place.
The honest answer was yes, he did like it. But Ichigo couldn't tell Grimmjow that, the man would just tease him for it. Whatever game he was playing Ichigo didn't like it and he felt himself go rigid, eyes narrowing. "No." He replied cooly, jerking away and out of Grimmjow's hold. "Guess I don't like guys."
Another unknown emotion flickered across Grimmjow's face but Ichigo caught some of it, was it disappointment? "There you go then." He said and stood up, his own voice retuning to it's normal level. "Now you know."
"Guess so." Ichigo stood as well, watching Grimmjow carefully. He didn't understand what game the Arrancar was playing. Was he trying to trick Ichigo to take the band off so he could get his powers back? Was he just screwing with him for fun? Or was this in connection to everything Grimmjow had said over the past day about his real reason for betraying Aizen, because he had fallen in love? "Come on, we should head back before they get too worried."
Grabbing his bag Ichigo led the way and Grimmjow followed behind him silence. As they walked Ichigo pondered the feeling he'd experienced when Grimmjow kissed him. Surprisingly he found he wasn't repulsed by what had happened as he thought he would be. What he'd told the other was a complete lie, more to save himself embarrassment than anything else. But he couldn't shake the notion that what he'd felt wasn't something new, just something forgotten.
Ichigo finally realised what that feeling was as the Kurosaki clinic came into view. It was the feeling of home, of belonging. The feeling he remembered used to fill him whoever his mother came to pick him up from the dojo. The indescribable sense of belonging when she hugged him so tightly he felt as if nothing could go wrong. When Grimmjow had kissed him it was the same feeling, one which had been almost forgotten by Ichigo since his mother's death over ten years ago.
He understood the growing changes of his relationship with Grimmjow now. How the two could tolerate each other's presence without ripping the others throat out. They had become friends without Ichigo even realising it and more so than even that. How had these feelings crept up on him without his notice?
Coming to an abrupt halt he barely registered Grimmjow bumping into his back. "What?" The man asked as Ichigo spun around to face him.
"I just wanted to say that you're not that bad of a kisser." Ichigo told him abruptly. "I lied back at the lake. In fact, if you feel like doing it again… I don't mind."
Grimmjow stared at him for a long moment before replying. "So what does that mean?"
Ichigo smiled and stepped closer to him. "It means next time we go on a trip we should take some blankets to get more comfortable." Leaning forward he placed a chaste kiss on Grimmjow's lips, his smile widening at the stunned expression on the Arrancar's face. "And take it from there."
The man's gusto returned at that and he grinned. "I'm going to hold you to that."
Ichigo was surprised when he grabbed his hand, not expecting the man to show much affection, especially where others could see. But as they entered the clinic Ichigo couldn't help but smile. "If you play your cards right I might even remove that wristband."
