Title: First time I ever saw you…

Fandom: Naruto

Author: Kanashimi Angel

Theme: #26 – If only I could make you mine

Pairing: Sabaku no Gaara x Matsuri

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. Everything belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

Summary: That was her wish, for him to be there for her when she'd have her first kiss. That was his wish, for someone, for her, to be there for him, to hold him, to love him.

So. That's my first kiss…My first attempt EVER to write a kiss. So, here we are. Gaara x Matsuri. This is also my gift to my friend Jared, (Joe-Ashaman on today, on the 23rd of August for his birthday. Enjoy!

"First time I ever saw you, I was dead frightened to even ask someone your name. I was so little and already hurt, but towards you, I was like everyone else. I was afraid of you, no... Now that I know you, or at least I think I know you, I can tell that it was the rumor that foretold you that I was afraid of. I hadn't even talked to you, just seen you.

And it happened that I firstly saw you in one of your not-so-good mood days. And you scared me. I couldn't believe how a child as sweet as you could say the things you said, could do the things you did. Maybe I didn't want to believe it. And maybe that's what gave birth to my curiosity to meet and get to know you.

In the following years, though, you'd become more and more distant from everyone. And it was even more difficult for me to reach you. Then your father died as well. After that, you barely spoke.

I guess you were in a better state than me, though. Even though you said you never felt them like family, and only rarely talked to them, you still have your siblings. Kankurou-san and Temari-san. What did I have? Just my empty hands. If you needed it, you would get a warm embrace and a good word, but who did I have to do this for me? I didn't even have a house, some place to stay. I was…I have nothing. The only things that I possess? My ninja bag. My weapons. My clothes. And for all those fifteen years, I've been sleeping on the road. In unbearable heat or the rare awfully cold days, uncaring of the dangers that crept behind.

I know why nothing happened. I know why I never got hurt or anything, because I was meant to meet you. In those years, my curiosity had turned into this feeling that I don't know how to name. This feeling that I felt for the first time. I wanted to be like you, perfect; untouchable. That's why I chose you to be my teacher, you, of all three of the Third's children, I chose you. Not only because you were the strongest, in my opinion, but because I still wanted to get to know you, and this time, I wanted you for myself. And somehow, I was glad that no one else wanted to be your student. …Even when I was kidnapped…I was afraid of what would happen to me, yes, but when I heard what the ones who took me said, I felt…was Iimportant to someone? It was me they were talking about? Me, the useless girl? Me, the one to wander around pointlessly, everyday, barely being able to find myself something to eat…The girl that her life was like what her name meant, matsuri, a festival.

To this day I can't forget how you rushed to save me from their hands. What was the thing to motivate you? What was I? Was I really so important to you? Who to thank first if I am? If you really care, if you really think of me as an important person? I…I understood that this warmfeeling that consumed my heart was something no one had been there to teach me…Was something your life also had really a lack of. But since you changed, you truly get it now. They show it to you. Your family, your friends. I don't have either of them, so I couldn't know how this felt, until I met you again.

I understood that I love you. I've loved you, always loved you, in my own weird, secret and shy way. I want to know that I am no more alone, that I can get this feeling in me as well, I want to know to know that there is someone out there who loves me as well.

If you really are that someone, Gaara-sensei…Just…Please, please, just tell me. I am tired of living; of being alone. I want to be loved…Because you now are, Gaara-sensei. You really are loved. And even if you still don't accept the love of your siblings, please just accept mine…I…I want you to know that I love you.

Honestly, I don't really expect to achieve anything with this

I just felt like writing it

Matsuri"

Gaara looked at the paper in his hands once again. The words were dancing in front of his eyes, he needed his time to concentrate after what he had just read. He never thought Matsuri felt like that. But…The letter explained everything. Now he could get why she still wanted to be his student, even after she was kidnapped for his sake, even after all those years.

"Temari." He spoke, his voice never changing

"What is it?" his older sister replied, her smile wide as always.

"Can you two keep an eye on things today?"

The cup in Temari's hands trembled and threatened to fall, but it didn't. His sister was surprised, for sure, but…

"S…Sure." She murmured, "If you've got something else to do…"

"I do. Thanks."

Gaara whispered and left the room, the paper still tight held in his fingers.

This time, Temari really dropped the cup. Gaara said "thanks"?

-- --

Gaara walked in the misty morning. Suna's weather had once again become strange, a sign of winter coming. It was early in the morning, yes, but it was pretty cold for the beginning of winter. And the strangest thing of all? He detected, above the mist, big black clouds. Here? In the middle of the desert? How come? he wondered, but still, what burned him right now was Matsuri.

And after some time of searching, he found her. She was sleeping at the doorstep of an abandoned house, half demolished and pretty old. It threatened to fall on her at any moment. He walked closer and kneeled beside her.

He looked at her, her peaceful face, the way her hair spread all over as she slept, her long eyelashes, almost touching her cheeks, her pale lips slightly parted. Her face, like his, was drained of all colors. She had hugged her shoulders, probably at some time at night that she felt a little bit colder, her slender fingers seemed unable to protect her or find her any warmth.

It was so strange, her image, Matsuri in a peaceful sleep. Who, Matsuri, the one who either cried or was always on action. And he couldn't help it. Images of her in her every mood popped in his head and his lips formed a small smile.

She was beautiful, he decided. Really beautiful, in and out. He'd been through a lot as well, not as much as he, but she could feel the same way he did. He understood it, there was, there may have just been a person for him to love as well.

He leaned over her and placed a kiss on her forehead. Her skin felt so soft, so tender; delicate but not in the sickening way the demon inside him would have wanted it. No. It felt warm, even though she'd stayed out all night.

She woke up that moment. Her eyes shot open and she looked at whatever she could see, frightened, ready to reach for her kunais. But what her black eyes met was not some danger, but Gaara's collarbone. He noticed that she was awake now and immediately backed off, distracting himself from her.

"G…good morning." He whispered, his voice shaky, unsure for the first time in his life.

"G…Gaara-sensei?" Matsuri whispered as well, hers barely audible. "Wh…What are you doing here?"

"I came…Because of this." Gaara said and lifted the piece of paper that her letter was written on, still held in his fingers tight.

Matsuri's eyes opened wide. "D…Did you actually bother to read it? It's all nonsense of a stupid girl who's through her first crush…Why would Gaara-sensei pay any attention to another foolish little girl?"

"Don't underestimate yourself, Matsuri…This is different…And real. Because you've lived it." Gaara replied, surprising her with his honesty. "Because you've been through almost the same. Because you know how it feels."

"Gaara-sensei…"

"Cut the 'sensei' thing, will you? I am in the same age as you! And I am no longer your teacher, remember?"

"Then why do you…keep on training me?"

"Because…" Gaara's eyebrows furrowed. How are they answering this? "Because you're…a…special person to me…And I don't want something like...like that to happen again. I…"

"Want me to be strong enough to be able to protect myself, even a little bit…Right?" Matsuri completed the sentence for him.

"Yes." Gaara replied. And then, so suddenly, so suddenly, the skies opened and the dark clouds that Gaara had detected before begun pouring big drops of water on them. Hard, crystal raindrops fell on them, around them, and it was so sudden and so weird, that they both stood frozen like comatose sculptures.

"I…It's raining!" Matsuri said, surprised and completely soaked, already.

"We've got to go somewhere…drier, until the storm passes. How come your place-to-stay is so far at the end of Suna?!" Gaara said and grabbed her hand, pulling her out behind him.

"B…But there was nothing else that I could find a house in! And this place is where I got my start, anyway! I've heard people saying that I was abandoned here when I was an infant, and then my deceased parents found me and adopted me!"

"Your parents weren't your birth ones?" Gaara asked, suddenly surprised. He had no idea Matsuri was an orphan twice in her life.

"I don't know my birth parents, alright? I never knew that my parents weren't those ones, though. Only when they died, I've heard people saying it at their funeral…And so I came here."

"Looking for answers?"

"Probably."

"You're strange." Gaara muttered and Matsuri smiled as he dragged her under the roof of another, small, old and ready-to-fall building. "But not as weird as me. At least this thing has a ceiling!"

"Well, most of the time of my life, it has never rained in Suna, so I didn't need a ceiling…The starlit sky is the best ceiling you can think of. It's a magnificent view to have above your head before you go to sleep." Matsuri said and looked at the rain that fell hardly out, just some inches before them.

Only then they realized that they hadsat tightly close to each other, because there was no more space, and no space existed between them. Gaara turned to look at her, and Matsuri, surprised, did the same. And they found themselves so close, so damn close that they could feel each other's breath warming their cheeks. Gaara looked deep into the dark depths of Matsuri's eyes and she looked back, losing herself in the ocean of his sea-colored ones.

"G…Gaara-sensei?" She whispered, barely moving her lips. Gaara's face was closer, so, so close to hers!

Their arms were pressing against each other, and his fingers imprisoned hers in his hand.

"I think I told you…" Gaara whispered, moving even closer to her. "to cut off the 'sensei' thing….Baka seito!"

And their lips met.

And the rain fell hard, harder with each second, and Gaara and Matsuri didn't care, because they both had their wishes granted with this first rain in Suna. Someone to love them.

Saaaaa, here's it. Owari…Dammit, Gaara is WAY too OOC…And…I don't like anything but the ending! As for the letter Matsuri wrote to Gaara…I had written something like that, once…Don't tease! I was younger and foolish once, whispers not that I am no more…

Written for LiveJournal's 30kisses community, for the pairng Gaara x Matsuri

Happy Birthday, Jared! I'm sorry that I can't remember if now you're 18 or 19…

If he ever reads it, it's also a Bday gift for my school friend, Michael. Happy 17th, Michael!