I Will Stay Where You Are Always
Peeta and Katniss try to grow back together.
Written from Prompts in Panem March 2014: Day 6: Reconciliation
It's Wednesday. The day starts off like any other day, Peeta wakes up at dawn and gets to work in the kitchen. The special of the day is cheese buns. He's pulling out a tray out of the oven when he sees her. Or he thinks he does. It's just a glimpse of her, through the window. At first he's not even sure if he just imaging it, that flash of dark hair and olive skin. He stares at her house, looking for any signs of movement inside, but he sees none.
By the time he decides that she wasn't really there, he hears a knock at the door. He had imagined it all.
Right?
It's probably just Haymitch, he tells himself. Or Sae. It's more likely to be Sae, she comes by every few days to drop off a couple meals, and she hasn't come by since Sunday.
But when he opens the door, he realizes he was wrong, he hadn't imagined seeing Katniss at all. She's here, in Twelve.
"Hi," she says, giving him a half smile.
"Katniss," he breathes. "Hi. You're back."
She nods. One of her hands comes up to stroke her braid, "I just got here. From the Capitol. They finally let me go." Her hair's a lot shorter, but long enough for a short braid that just grazes her shoulder. Peeta takes a moment to get a good look at her. Her skin's healing nicely, even better than his own - but that's probably because he's gotten a few burns working the ovens. And she looks healthy, she'd been properly taken care of in the Capitol.
Peeta clears his throat, "Glad you made it here in one piece. So how long are you staying?"
"For good, I'm ready to start living a normal life again."
Peeta nods, "I know what you mean. It's nice getting into a routine again. It helps."
The ding of a timer goes off in it kitchen, and they both speak up at once.
"I won't keep you any longer."
"Would you like to come in?"
Katniss hesitates.
"I'm making cheese buns," Peeta offers.
"My favorite," Katniss smiles.
Peeta smiles back, "I know." Peeta pauses. Did he? He thinks about it for a second, it just seems like something he knows. He can't remember when he found out cheese buns were her favorite, it's just something he knows. When his memory doesn't get shiny, he lets out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He shakes his head, clearing the thoughts away, and motions for her to come in.
They make random small talk as Katniss eats. She tells him how everyone is doing while he works on wrapping up the bread for the day's deliveries. After she finishes eating, she offers up help. He waves her off, and tells her she should unpack. Peeta walks her to the door, and Katniss thanks him for the cheese bun. She reaches out as if to touch his arm but then quickly draws it back, muttering a quick goodbye before dashing down the porch.
Peeta lets out a sigh. It's a start. Baby steps.
xxx
It becomes routine for Katniss to come over for breakfast. She eats while he bakes, and sometimes he lets her help. Katniss starts hunting in the woods. Sae comes by nearly every day with food, and they usually supper at Katniss'. Sometimes they invite Haymitch, but more often than not he's too drunk to join them.
After a couple months, Katniss comes up with the idea for a memory book and asks Peeta to help her. They work on it a couple times a week, they have pages dedicated to her father, his father, his brothers, her sister, and their friends. It's therapeutic. Sometimes Peeta feels normal, as if he's never was hijacked. In fact Peeta hasn't had a hijacking for several weeks by the time they start working on Finnick's page.
Peeta figures the moment he starts to feel like his old self he would be reminded that he will never be the old Peeta again. Katniss is pulling out rolls from the oven when she drops the tray.
The tray clatters and it's all he can hear. All he can see is the arena imploding, everything is shiny. He grips the counter, and prays that this will pass soon. He can hear Katniss speaking to him. It's so faint he can't really understand it. He tries to focus on her voice, tries to understand what she's saying to him. "Come back to me, Peeta. Come back. Come back so I can finally finish you off."
"GET OUT."
"Peeta. It's me, Katniss. I'm not going anywhere. Come back to me, Peeta."
"LEAVE," Peeta chokes out. He can't do this. He can't. He just can't.
"Peeta, I'm not going to leave you. Come back, please."
Finally the moment passes. He can hear the birds outside. He can hear Katniss loud and clear, and her promises to stay.
Peeta takes a shaky breath and looks up. Katniss is hovering by, watching him carefully. She lets out a sigh of relief and gives a small smile, "There you are."
Her reaction startles Peeta. She shouldn't be here. He could hurt her. He gulps, or worse, kill her. "You shouldn't be here. You should go."
Katniss lets out a laugh of disbelief, "You just had an episode, and you want me to go? No."
Part of Peeta feels something rise in his chest, something like hope but another part tells him not to be foolish. "Katniss, I could have hurt you. It's not safe. I'm not safe."
"I'm fine. I'm not going to let you go through this alone. I'm going to stay here and make sure you're okay."
This time when something rises in Peeta's chest, he knows it's anger. "Fine. You can stay. I'll leave." Peeta exits through the back door, slamming it on his way out. He realizes he doesn't know where to go. He kicks a chair out of frustration, and sits on the porch steps. He takes a couple deep breaths as he tries to collect his thoughts and regain some composure. What was she thinking? Why can't she see that he's still dangerous?
A couple minutes later, the back door opens. He turns and sees Katniss leaning against the door.
"Why are you here?" he asks tiredly.
"I'm not going to leave you," she says firmly.
"Why not?"
He watches as she struggles to answer. She sighs and moves to sit next to him. She reaches for his hand and rubs the back of his hand with her thumb. He waits for her to answer but she still says nothing.
"Why are you doing this? Why are you here, Katniss? Why are you here right now? Is it because you want to be, or because you feel guilty for everything that's happened?"
"God, Peeta! Haven't you been paying attention?" Katniss jumps up. "I chose to come back here. I could have gone with my mother to Four! I could be there with Annie and the baby! I could have tracked down Johanna. Or I could have gone to Gale in Two!"
"Why didn't you?"
"Because you're here."
Peeta jumps up and stares down at Katniss,"Did you come here because it's what's expected? Because you're trying to keep up some façade of our "relationship"? Is it because our lives are so messed up, and twisted together?"
"No! Yes! I don't know. I don't know anything for sure. But I think, I think that I'd love you even if it weren't for the games. I think that we would have found each other some other way. It'll always be you, Peeta. Always."
Peeta is momentarily stunned by her confession. When he realizes what she's saying , he gently cups her face in his hands, "You love me? Real or not real?"
"Real."
A/N: Some of the dialogue is inspired from some fanfic I read some time ago, I'm not sure who wrote it or what fandom it came from. Their words have never left me… if someone recognizes this please let me know so I can credit the person- without them I would have never been inspired to write this.