DISCLAIMER: "Castle" and all its wonderful characters are the property of ABC and Andrew Marlowe. Much as I enjoy playing with them, I unfortunately do not own them. Please don't sue me.
Chapter One: After the Storm
She could pull the trigger. She's tempted, so very tempted. She could put a bullet between his eyes. She could have her vengeance.
But she doesn't. The thought of him stills her finger. She can feel his hand on hers, just as it was last night, their fingers entwined as they slept. Except now that hand steadies the indignant shaking of her own, loosening her grip on the gun. She can feel his breath against her ear, same as last night, though now instead of the soft inhales and exhales of sleep, she hears the gentle tone of his whisper as he talks her down from the incredulous rage that fills her when the senator recycles an old political speech to justify his sins. And she can feel his arms wrapped around her, holding her back, righting her path just as they clung to her as they dreamed.
This is about more than vengeance, he says. And for once, she listens.
So instead of spraying Bracken with bullets, she sprays him with words.
"Who do you think you're talking to?"
...
Kate doesn't get out of the car right away. Instead she pauses, breathes in the stillness, lets the events of the day sink in. The adrenaline is only just wearing off. Her body aches but the mental exhaustion weighs more heavily. Ten years of chasing her mother's killer weighs heavier still.
She thought she'd be relieved, instead she's just tired. And yeah, there's a level of satisfaction. Knowledge is power. But all the same, ignorance is bliss. In ignorance there was possibility. All the potential scenarios she could draw up in her head, all the triumphs over the dragon she could dream. Now she knows all the players and she knows the score. But she can't act. The game is paused. She has just one option: patience.
When she finally looks up, he's watching her intently. She knows that look. He's trying to figure her out, to peel back another layer of the Beckett onion. Problem is she's not sure she wants him to succeed.
"You should have told me," Castle voices simply. No accusation or rebuke, just a statement.
She shakes her head and meets his eyes. His features are drawn, the shadows from the dim street light accentuating just how tired he is as well.
"I couldn't," she answers. "I needed to do it alone."
His face falls, from questioning to tortured in one moment, and her stomach clenches. She didn't mean it that way. But it's the truth. This was a decision she had to make on her own. She couldn't let someone make it for her, not by input or influence.
"We're partners Kate."
And her heart breaks a little more. Because that's the truth as well.
She slides her hand over his and squeezes.
"I-" Her throat tightens. "I couldn't risk you trying to stop me."
"Stop you." His brow furrows. "Stop you from..."
He leaves the question hanging, unspoken but still clear, and she can't be sure if he swallows the words for her sake or his. As though speaking them out loud makes her actions more reckless or his lack of faith more damning.
She answers honestly, because he deserves to know, because they are partners, and more than partners, "Yes."
His closes his eyes, lets a deep breath loose and nods. She waits for his eyes to open again before continuing.
"Castle, I had a plan and that was never part of the plan." It sounds like a cop out even to her ears.
"But you considered it," the disquiet in his voice pierces her.
She screws her eyes shut, the stabbing sensation in her chest growing stronger. The violent emotions that she's worked so hard to master churn beneath the surface. She more than considered it.
"He killed my mother," she whimpers. "He killed her, without even blinking, and Roy- he's killed so many people. And we don't even know if that's all he's done. I had the chance to end it..."
"You really think you could kill a man in cold blood?"
She grips his hand tighter, turns her body in the seat to face him more fully.
"He's evil, Castle. Worst of all he can't even see the evil in what he's done. He wraps himself in self-righteousness and ideals and he won't hesitate to destroy anyone or anything that gets in his way."
She pauses, looks down at the hand still anchored to the steering wheel, catches sight of the watch firmly strapped to her wrist.
"But that's also why I didn't, " she continues in a calmer tone. "Because the ends don't justify the means. I couldn't be like him. And I couldn't make him a martyr. They would have put him on a pedestal – the fallen crusader for good – and that would have made it all worse."
She chances a glance back up. He nods, the lines of his face softer now as he gifts her a sad smile. He takes his hand out from under hers and brings it to her cheek. She tilts her head into the touch, closes her eyes.
"Let's go in," he finally says and she nods, but first grabs his hand and lays a gentle kiss on his palm. He holds her gaze for a beat.
Kate mirrors Rick as she undoes her seat belt and opens the door. When she climbs out she turns to watch him over the top of the car.
"If I had..." she starts. He stops to listen midway through closing his door. "If I had, what would..."
She doesn't know how to word this question. She doesn't even know if she should be asking it. But a part of her needs to know.
"What would I have done?" he finishes it for her.
She nods, bracing herself for his answer.
He pushes the door shut then trails around the back of the car. He doesn't speak until he reaches her side
"Kate, from the moment I woke up without you there I went through two dozen scenarios. And when I saw that gun in your hand," he reaches out to take her hand, holds it between their bodies as he hovers close. "I'll admit it, I was terrified. But there was never any doubt. I'd already devised an escape plan in my head."
He moves close enough to whisper through a somber grin. "I was going to throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the first safe place I could think of. And if you got caught, I was going to use every resource, every favor, every contact, to break you out."
Her breath leaves her and she can't help the relieved smile that escapes. She wants to tilt up to kiss him, to show him her gratitude, not because he would have broken her out of prison, but because he's the reason it wouldn't have been necessary in the first place.
But he beats her too it. He leans down and softly presses his lips to hers. He pulls her tight against him and doesn't let go. And even though she struck up a deal with Bracken, even though she's protected by the false specter of Roy Montgomery's threat, even though she got her job back and she knows life will eventually return to normal, this is the first time she's felt truly safe all day.
A/N - Since I quite enjoyed writing episode reaction in Pair of Fools last season, I've decided to do something similar this season. So I should have at least one chapter for each episode. Looking forward to tonight's. Thanks to trinxikene for the beta.
As always, would love to hear your thoughts. A simple "like" or "dislike" is welcome.
Fight On and You'll Never Walk Alone
