Shadows

Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Like Me or anything associated with the show. This is all for fun and no profit.

Author's Note: I started this story almost three years ago, but had no idea where I wanted to go with it. I still don't, but I haven't written anything in a long time and I miss it, so this is now my 'get back into writing mode' project. If I post it, I'm hoping it'll give me more of an incentive to not abandon it. With that as a warning, enjoy. ANY and ALL comments and suggestions will be received with chocolate and caviar.

Chapter 1

She felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. She didn't want that from him. She didn't want his pity.

"Rube, can you just go please?"

"Daisy, we're going to have to talk about this. I'll have to report it."

She nodded; she had known that was coming. It was the same as New York. Dammit, she really liked it here, she felt like she finally belonged- like she was a part of a family.

"They might let you stay, you know," Rube added.

She just nodded again, resigned, aware that everything was out of her control now. Again.

And so he left her standing there, alone, broken.

Why did she have to go and jeopardize it all by falling back into her old habits? It never seemed to go away, even in death. The feeling of worthlessness, being unloved. Something must be wrong with her, for no one to ever love her. She was beautiful, she knew that, but that didn't mean she was satisfied- you can always be more beautiful. Maybe if she was a little more beautiful, someone would love her.

It had crept up on her, at first she just skipped a meal...breakfast here, dinner there, then it got worse, only fruit, then only lettuce, then only water. Until she gave in, trying to fill that hollow place inside with every piece of food she could find. Shame and self-loathing had taken over at that point and she hadn't heard Rube come through the door, yet again looking for Mason, as she put her finger on the back of her tongue and cleansed herself of it all.

She should have known this wonderful place wouldn't keep her up forever. It was the same thing that had happened in every other place she'd been, dead or alive. It would always shock them when they found out, and somehow they always found out, because she worked so hard at being happy on the outside. She was Daisy, Daisy Adair, beautiful, confident, self-assured, actress. She was Daisy Adair, and she was a fake, a liar, a sad, lonely, lost girl, and once again, her real self had finally peeked through, just enough to ruin everything.

She made her way to her bedroom and let the blackness wrap her up in its wonderful oblivion. There was nothing she could do now, it was up to someone else. She couldn't let herself hope, so instead she let go and sank into the deep, dark depths of slumber.

Rube sat in his usual spot in Der Waffle Haus. He could think more clearly here, and at the moment he definitely needed to think. Why hadn't he seen this coming? He was observant, prided himself on it, in fact. It was his job- well, part of it anyway- to know how his group was doing. Sure, he had sort of noticed Daisy was getting thinner lately, but he'd just shrugged it off. It was Daisy, he'd thought it was just some stupid diet. It seemed liked everyone was on a diet these days, nothing serious. Or so he'd thought.

He'd never thought Daisy would do something like that. She seemed so together- all the time. He didn't think she had enough depth for anything to affect her like that. He hadn't really believed George when she told him that Daisy always seemed sad about something. She never seemed sad to him. But to be honest she was the one he gave the least thought to. She was easy, besides the boyfriends and scams, she was easy to handle. He didn't worry about her mental state like he did George's, or even Roxy's. He didn't have to worry about her screwing something up like he did with Mason. She did her job- no complaints. Most of the time when she spoke up he dismissed what she was saying. It always seemed so shallow. He didn't believe that anymore. He couldn't after seeing that look in her eyes.

Mason hadn't shown up for breakfast this morning, so he'd gone looking for him. With Mason, you could never really know where he might be. He'd tried George and Daisy's house after about an hour of looking. No one had answered the door, so he'd let himself in. He saw the bathroom light on, the door ajar, so he figured it was safe to go in. And he'd been graced with the sight of Daisy on her knees before the toilet, her fingers in the back of her throat, throwing up. Purging- isn't that what they called it? She'd spun around when he said her name, and the look in her eyes challenged everything he'd thought about her. He'd never seen that much hate, anger, and sadness in one person. Sure, he saw people who were angry, sad, and hateful everyday. The souls he took weren't always happy to be dead, but he'd never seen them all concentrated in one person with such intensity. She'd turned away for a minute, and when she'd turned back she'd fixed that Daisy Adair smile on her face, ready to laugh it off or make up some lame excuse. It hadn't worked this time, she could see he wasn't buying it, and she'd let it slip away. He hadn't known what to say.

He, Rube, had been speechless.

"Daisy–" he'd started.

"Rube, could you please just go?"

"Daisy, we're going to have to talk about this. I'll have to report it."

And she'd just nodded. She looked totally defeated. And he'd left her there. Mason was no longer an issue. He had other things to figure out.

So here he sat, his mind reeling. Should he really report it? He'd let other things slide before. He didn't report Mason's drinking and whatnot. Mostly because he didn't think it was because of the job, but this wasn't about the job either. He was supposed to report things like this, so that changes could be made to try to find the best place and situation for everyone. Reapers needed to be able to handle all the death, and they needed to be able to deal with the souls in a responsible and hopefully caring way, and they needed to fit into society, not draw attention to themselves. If Daisy was having this problem, maybe this wasn't the best place for her. He didn't feel right reporting it at the moment. He'd be a hypocrite if he reported Daisy and never reported Mason. He'd wait until after he talked to her. He needed to find out if she was really that unhappy here. Somehow he couldn't see it being an easy thing, talking to Daisy.