THE HUNGER GAMES: A PARODY OF THE HUNGER GAMES
By: Myself
Dedicated to: Katniss Everdeen
And Peeta
And Gale
And all those who died
And to you, my readers
And especially to my dead bunny
I miss you Cuddles!
This will only contain random things that will be weird
And it will not make sense
ENJOY!
Okay so I started writing this a while ago and I am almost done now and I thought that I should write a new introduction for this so I did and here I am and wow is it hot in here oh whoops maybe I should put a period or something of the like in here otherwise this will be a run-on sentence oh haha it already is maybe I'll just stop.
In any case, you should read this because I put a lot of time and effort in it and I am thinking of rewriting some of it, so I want to see how people like it.
Read the reviews, people have liked it in the past so why shouldn't you?
By the way, I am Language-inclined and a fan of tropes et cetera so there will be a lot of things in it. Excuse the grammar. Yeah, a note on grammar, sometimes I misuse grammar and spell things wrong. That is on purpose. This is not a serious thing, I just have fun with language. Just stop reading this and read the story, I mean come on!
Chapter 1: Raindrops Flutter By
My name is Katniss Everdeen. Why am I lying in my bed? I should not be lying in my bed. I should be up out hunting so that I can provide for my family.
This is my story!
...Sorry, that was a bit of an unnecessary interjection. But, following my narratives, I might seem a bit strange in my ways of writing, so forgive me. I have gone through trial after trial after trial, and I still have not found rest. Actually, maybe a bit of rest. But that's not important.
This story started with the creation of the world. Skip several years... and some of my ancestors are born. Skip even more years... and I am born! That has to be one of the single greatest events in the world, considering how awesome I am and how much I've done for everyone – because it's true. I am awesome, and without me, Panem would probably not even be in existence right now. Oh, I forgot to tell you about the setting of this narrative. My schoolteacher always told us to start with 5 w's and an h – although that never got me anywhere. Maybe it will now. Hmmm... considering the failure of my last epic novel, I might adapt this intriguing system here goes: WHO? That's easy, me. And a few other characters, but, for now, it's just me. WHAT: I don't know. WHEN: After the wars that destroyed the world, turning North America into a wasteland. Of forests. Sounds like a waste to not use them. WHERE: North America, now known as Panem. WHY: Because. HOW: You'll see.
(To the readers: Just to put these facts into perspective, here's the history of it. The world was in war, and North America got stuck in the middle – I suppose – so a bunch of dictators decided to form a government called the Capitol where everybody is well-fed and vain. This government rules over 12 districts, 1=rich 12=poor. Sadly, our main character lives in 12. Anyway, to impose their superiority, the Capitol puts on The Hunger Games every year, taking children from all the districts – 1 male 1 female – and they are put in an arena with a bunch of supplies and they have to kill each other to be that last one standing and live a life of painful memories and wealth.)
So, where was I? Right, I'm lying down in my bed. I see my little sister's cat (Buttercup, who is actually pretty ugly. Looks like a pug) standing on the windowsill. It's raining outside for a split-second and raindrops flutter by. Okay, that doesn't happen. I'm just kidding. But Buttercup hates me and loves Prim (my sister's nickname for all the dummies out there), and Prim has a goat. But I don't want to tell you that story. It will make me shed tears (and maybe skin if I'm lucky). My Mommy is a doctor/nurse type of person, and my Daddy died in a mining accident. You see, District 12 is the mining district. Yup, we suck. But it's better than the idiots in District 13 who were bombed.
So, I'm used to blood and gore and general disgustingness because Mommy brings home people who are sick practically every day. By the way, I'm 16 years old. So, let's see, I've introduced myself and Prim and Mom. Fair enough.
I wake up drenched from another bad dream. Oh, wait, that was a while ago. Clumsy me. I am now out in the woods going to the place where I hunt with Gale. He's a guy, but he's a friend. If he were a boy you could call him a boyfriend, but he's a man now. Is manfriend a word? Spellcheck says no, so let's just say he's a good friend of mine. We have a lot in common, like the fact that we are both outlaws, although the Peacekeepers in our area don't even turn on the electric fence that separates us from the forest. He's actually a pretty cool guy named Joe who does handy work sometimes. No, I'm just kidding. If it annoys you that I kid around so much, talk to my Dad. Heehee... Yeah, OK, not funny. So where was I? I seem to get off topic so much.
Gale and I meet in the forest at our usual place. He is a master of snares. Sometimes, when he makes funny faces (once in a blue moon) he looks Chinese. Do Chinese people even exist anymore? I don't know, since Panem is only set in ancient North America. So slap me. We meet, and it seems that he has caught a few squirrels and some other animals. He smiles. "I caught squirrels Catnip! I'm going to trade it illegally at the Hob" (our local black market for food) "and get some money, even though I know it's illegal." Sometimes he gets excited like that, so I tell him to calm down.
"Calm down."
"Thank you, sometimes I don't know what I would do without you! But seriously, that hair? You should do something to it once in a while. It looks like a bird made a nest in there." I put a hand up to my head, where I feel a peck. Suddenly it feels like an Alfred Hitchcock movie. So I decide that horror is out of the question, and I take the nest out and throw it in the pond.
I spend the rest of the day hunting, and then I go to the Hob where I have a bowl of soup. Some drunk guy tries to feed me saying "Yummy yummy yummy!" so I slap his face and leave. Gale walks me home and then I go to sleep. Or at least I try to. I'm lying in my bed, thinking about the next day. Tomorrow is the day of the Reaping. And I'm crying. Because it's Friday.
Did you like this? I hope you did. The story is going to continue with the reaping. I hope this wasn't boring, but I had to set up the story to begin with. Insanity will ensue in the next chapter, so come back later to read my story. Favorite it! And may the odds be ever in my favor!
2013 Update: The odds of you continuing this are good I hope. It's a fast read, only about ½ of the length of the book The Hunger Games. In any case, I hope this brings a smile to your face
2018 Update: Just thought I'd update this for fun. I wrote this a long time ago, and it's become one of those things where I can say oh yeah, I wrote a 50,000 word Hunger Games parody fanfic. It's honestly kinda bad, but you might be entertained by it. I really don't *care* I guess if you read it or not, but doing so would bring a smile to my heart I'm sure, or something schmaltzy like that. Carry on with your life!