Disclaimer: I own some stuff, but none of it is a successful game series and/or its related characters.
Pairing: Apollo/Klavier
Spoilers: Entire 4th game. Don't read if you haven't finished the 4th game yet.
Rating: I don't even know.
Summary: Apollo realizes a causal relationship between two aspects of personality, and wonders if his theory includes Klavier as well.
A/N: My entire time playing the fourth game was "MAN, THAT KLAVIER IS PRETTY!" and my entire theory for Phoenix Wright games has pretty much been "If the main characters say the witness is attractive, they are generally going to be found guilty." So will the lovely Klavier fall under this stereotype umbrella?! Read and find out! ...also should be noted, I wrote quite a bit of this under sleep deprivation so it might be taken down and revamped later on.
Belle Rosalie, Supermodel and Killer Extraordinaire, was being pulled kicking and screaming from the witness stand, her pink-polished fingernails digging stubbornly into the wood as two bailiffs tried their best to simultaneously wrench her free and not choke to death on her heavy perfume. It was a spectacle, but not one Apollo really cared to notice – he'd seen breakdowns at that podium that were much more interesting than a femme fatale freak-out.
Still, it made something inside his head click – something, strangely enough, pulled itself together and gelled within his thoughts, formed a curious connection between things that would otherwise be completely unconnected, and invariably impossible to connect.
Looking up from his notes, Apollo caught sight of Prosecutor Gavin who, despite losing his case, still seemed fairly happy about things. His pleasing disposition, his unbelievable devotion to the truth above all else, would make Apollo's theories completely and utterly wrong… but still…
Klavier had long blond hair and bright blue eyes, and long lashes that Apollo had the feeling were enhanced a bit with mascara. He had a charming smile, an endearing charisma and overall attitude, and he apparently liked the color purple, as well as wearing lots of jewelry.
Ema called him "glimmerous" but to any person who wasn't bitter and hyped up on chocolate Snackoos, Klavier would simply be…
Pretty.
"Is something the matter?"
Apollo blinked in surprise to find that Klavier was smiling at him in a way that was both pleasant and, since it was Klavier, incredibly pretentious, haughty, arrogant, and about fifteen other words to describe 'Totally Full of Himself'.
"Uh… What? Why do you ask? I – I mean, no," Apollo stuttered a bit.
Klavier moved from the Prosecution's desk to stand in about the middle of the courtroom, hands in pockets and still smiling. His shoes made a dull clack on the floor, but the otherwise mild sound echoed in the vast emptiness of the room. Even the bailiffs had gone home by now.
"You've been gazing at me for quite a while now, Herr Forehead, and I must say it's beginning to move from 'flattering' to 'unnerving'."
"It's nothing, Prosecutor Gavin –"
"Please, Apollo," Klavier cut in smoothly, "the courtroom drama is over for today. I believe it'd be perfectly acceptable for us to refer to each other on a first-name basis… don't you?"
Clack, clack, clack... He was still moving closer, slowly, almost like a tiger stalking its prey… Or a panther. A panther seemed a bit more fitting for Klavier.
"Oh… sure, I guess."
Although, since he'd already called Apollo by his first name, it was really obvious that Klavier didn't care whether or not they'd both agreed on the situation first.
"Now," he was right across from him, one hand in his pocket and the other resting on the desk, "back to the matter at hand… Namely, your intent on… me."
"I wasn't intent on you!"
Okay, a little too loud, I'll admit that one.
Klavier didn't seem phased, however, as he simply smiled a bit wider and quirked a brow.
"No?"
"No, of… course not… I was intent on…"
The pause went on way too long, and Klavier didn't stop staring the entire time. It really didn't help Apollo try to form a logical explanation to what was going on in his head.
"It's…"
His head tilted a bit, and the smile was turning into a full-on grin, and – how the hell was Klavier managing to get closer with a desk in between them?!
"I've… well, I've noticed… a connection between certain… physical attributes and… I guess you could say… psychological eventualities?"
"Hm. Big words, Herr Forehead," – Hey, what happened to first names?! – "and you have my complete attention, now."
In a quick motion that Apollo would probably never be able to accomplish, Klavier pushed himself onto the desk and swung his legs over so that he was sitting almost eye-to-eye with Apollo. Evidently, this was how Klavier Gavin displayed "complete attention."
"I've read reports, seen photographs, watched tapes, and, of course, actually participated in some cases where the psychopathic murderer was…"
Good lord he's leaning in close, Apollo thought abruptly. He blinked, realizing he'd just fallen off into another long pause and it was only after Klavier loudly kicked the side of the desk that Apollo remembered he'd been in the middle of a sentence.
"Beautiful," Apollo finished, except the pause had gone on a bit too long and Klavier was smirking goldenly at him. Thinking quickly, Apollo amended, "The psychopaths were, I mean… Aesthetically pleasing, in a general sense."
Despite the quick save, Klavier was still smirking knowingly at Apollo, "And do you have any evidence to back up this claim?"
"Well, there have been past cases I haven't exactly memorized, but in my personal experience there's been… Alita Tiala, who pretty much everyone admitted was beautiful, and your old band mate wasn't beautiful, and his hair was horrific, but he had that rock star thing going and girls swooned all over the place, and then there was this – Belle Rosalie – case, and there was your… brother."
Klavier's playful smile vanished in an instant and Apollo suddenly felt like he'd made a very, very big mistake mentioning Kristoph.
Which, of course, he had.
"How polite of you to bring up my brother, Herr Forehead."
Shocked, Apollo reached out and took Klavier by the wrist, "I'm sorry but he's a perfect example, I mean he wears nail polish, but… just forget I even said it, okay?"
The prosecutor's gaze flicked down to where Apollo held his wrist and a little of the iciness left his expression. Apollo still didn't let go, however he couldn't explain to himself why not. A comforting gesture, he figured.
"Fine," Klavier said, and his smile was back, "But, as interesting as all this is, you still haven't explained why you were staring at me."
"I… uh… I just, made the connection and…"
Apollo blinked and stuttered and turned bright red but Klavier remained as calm as ever.
"You're too pretty," Apollo finally blurted, and almost instantaneously Klavier began to laugh.
Almost as if he'd been expecting the sentence the entire time.
That man really was full of himself.
"I suppose you expect me to turn to a life of crime now, then?"
It was sort of remarkable how Klavier could laugh so hard and manage to speak at the same time, but Apollo's embarrassment kept him from noting the remarkable ability. He finally snatched his hand away from Klavier's wrist in order to cross his arms stubbornly over his chest.
"What?" he cried indignantly. "You can't make fun of a guy for finding patterns, you know. This could be a breakthrough! Pretty people all over the country would be gathered together and tested for sociopathic tendencies! People have done a lot more with a lot less, before…"
Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, Klavier jumped down from the desk and simply grinned, but there was a little devious sparkle to it that had Apollo a bit scared, and though he'd never really thought about it before there was very little room behind the Defense desk. Klavier didn't think much of it, however, since he moved towards Apollo with little regard to the fact that there was a wall behind him and the defense attorney couldn't go much further.
"I'm not amused at your theory's lunacy at all, Herr Justice, but rather at how… astoundingly correct it is."
Apollo could feel his bracelet reacting – Klavier was lying – but he really didn't care because the rock star prosecutor had him locked squarely in place, both hands on either side of his head and looking at him with beautiful, laughing blue eyes…
There was really no way of escape, of course – why not just accept it?
"Uh… astoundingly correct, huh?"
"Yes, of course… Now, as one of these cunning beautiful types, I've only one matter left to attend to…"
Apollo smiled a little uneasily, and Klavier leaned forward even further.
"I have to enact my nefarious schemes," he said softly, and leaned the remaining inch or so towards Apollo to kiss him thoroughly.
Nefarious could be good.