Hello, my friends! First, let me thank you all for following my little saga! And here I present you with the continuation.
To get you in the mood: I listened mostly to Mike Oldfield and Enya while writing this. So I added one of Enya's most beautiful songs at the beginnig and end of this story.
Oh, and there's a quote from Lord of the Rings somewhere in the text. I'm sure you'll find it:) I do not own it, of course, as I do not own Thor. Sadly.
And finally, I would like to thank Shipperwolf for the revisions!
When the evening falls
And the daylight is fading,
From within me calls
Could it be I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray,
Then it holds me completely
Close to home - I cannot say
Close to home feeling so far away...
I'm waiting for you!
A well-known, yet quiet and distant voice made Thor's eyes flutter open.
It took him awhile to remember where he was. First, he recognized the flickering lights of candles and fire. Then, the muffled and disparate noises slowly formed into a lively chatter, singing and music. He moved his arm, but before he managed to realize where and how he fell asleep, he felt wine that oozed from his overturned goblet. He raised his head swiftly and wiped his cheek with his hand. Then he noticed his plate that he had most probably pushed aside while falling asleep. Something was wrong. He was pretty sure that he certainly had not eaten that much. Someone's hand distracted him from those thoughts. It was groping its way clumsily to Thor's plate, to grab the last remaining piece of meat. Thor just turned silently and watched a bush of long hair and beard to which the meddlesome arm doubtlessly had belonged to. He coughed lightly. Two startled eyes viewed him from beneath the bushy hair.
"Oh! Apologies! Thought you had finished…" Volstagg shrugged and returned to his own plate.
At first, Thor wanted to add something biting; however, he realized he was too tired for any silly scuffle.
But there was more to it. Lately, he felt tired almost all the time. He smiled bitterly to himself.
He did not remember the last time he managed to fall asleep like that… In the middle of the feast. In the middle of all the mirth. He could not remember the last time he had left his food and wine unfinished. And he was sure that the others, too, had begun to slowly notice his constant weariness and unusual behavior.
But it all had a certain cause. He could not get enough sleep. At least not as much as he needed. Because lately, he had to be constantly aware. Ha had to pay more attention to what he was telling people around him, hold back his emotions, and hide his thoughts. Even if that meant going against his temper. No, he was not used to such behavior. He never needed to behave like this. He never sought seclusion, never hid secrets, never closed himself inside of his soul.
There was always someone else to behave like that…
Well, until now.
Thor exhaled heavily and got up. He walked slowly and silently.
Since when did I start to walk this quietly..?
„I'm going to sleep, Mother." He whispered as he bowed his head to her ear and stroked gently the long hair tresses spreading down her back. "Good night."
Frigga smiled softly. „Still so tired, my child?"
„Do not worry yourself. It's going better now." He answered, hints of uncertainty peeking out from his voice.
Frigga glanced at his former seat at the table. „Did you manage to eat something at all?"
Thor grinned widely. "I did, I can assure you. But I'll take some more with me, all right?"
Frigga nodded shortly. Thor kissed her cheek and walked to the next table. Here he took a wide copper plate and loaded a few slices of meat on it. When he made sure his mother was not watching anymore, he added some vegetables and fish, too. Then he looked around quickly and set off to the palace. He snatched a jug of wine on the way, not missing a step in his gait.
Not looking back he kept moving in the palace direction; however, as soon as he got out of the lights and shadow welcomed him, he turned quickly to head to the gardens and further – to the forest. He gathered all his mental strength to maintain the awareness and self-control so he would not spill the wine or the food and so he would walk as quickly and as silently as possible. When the path headed up to the forest, Thor felt a light and cold blow of the wind. He stopped for a moment and turned around. See, you're doing quite well! He afforded a small acclaim to himself.
Now his steps were absorbed by the soft moss and deep grass. Thor forced his way through the tree branches attentively and finally, he reached that place. A clearing just before the cliff that stood above the sea. The place no one else knew. He walked nearer to the cliff's edge and sat down with his legs crossed. He sipped the wine and rested his huge, heavy arms on his knees. For a while, he observed silently the glitter of the starlight reflected by the moving water. Then his stare slid to a more distant place, to the dark abyss at the end of the sea, where the waters were falling to nowhere. To the broken end of the Bridge. He shivered a little and felt glad that he was not able to see the figure standing there.
Thor sighed deeply and rubbed his cheeks. Then he buried his chin into his palm and closed his eyes. So the Realm Eternal was cut off of the rest of the universe… But still, in his memories and dreams he could travel wherever he wished. His heartbeat slowed, his breathing became steady.
„Asleep?" A quiet, comforting voice filtered through.
Thor raised his head slowly and let his hand fall down. "No. Just waiting for you to stop fancy in snooping on me."
The voice laughed lightly. „Snooping? Me? Never."
„Tssk!" Thor snorted. „How long have you been watching me now?"
„How long?" The voice asked with a hint of annoyance and disbelief. "I've been walking beside you all the time! If I had not awakened you, you would lie around that table until dawn!"
"Hmm…" Thor rubbed his beard and chuckled. "But you have to admit that I'm doing really well now. Not a single soul noticed I walked away with so much food and wine."
„Ah!" The voice intoned with doubt. „And who do you think took care of that?"
Thor felt a slight movement.
„All right, I give up." Thor acknowledged, sighing. Then he drummed his fingers on his knee. „But I'd say I slowly learned how to move silently. You've seen me in the forest, right? I was doing well, admit it!"
"If I would not count all that noisy puffing… maybe…" The voice sounded as if it was smirking.
"Oh, cut it out!" Thor stopped his companion's musings. "You should better value I came all the way here. Now get down and eat something!" he added half annoyed, half amused, as he finally turned to look at his brother.
Two green orbs glittered. "I… I'm not hungry."
„That was not meant as a topic for discussion." Thor lifted a brow, leaving a hint of menace in his voice.
„Thor..."
„Sit down! Now!" Thor commanded and watched his hesitant brother angrily. The latter swayed on his feet, but then, finally, obeyed.
Thor breathed. „You really should eat more, Loki." He said a bit quieter as anger had softened to worry.
„I took something at the feast." Loki tried.
„Don't lie to me." Thor opposed.
„I would never do that..." Loki replied slyly.
At this, Thor laughed bitterly. "You know, little brother, this is something I somehow cannot believe."
Silence.
„What is it?" Thor glanced expectantly at his unmoving companion. "Do you want me to feed you?"
Loki smirked and slithered closer in answer.
"Loki, please." Thor moaned desperately.
„Come on, brother!" Loki dug his elbow into Thor's ribs. „It's not too long ago that someone vowed he would always be there for me."
„If only I had kept my mouth shut!" Thor sighed and rolled his eyes. Then he pulled the plate closer. "Look what I've brought for you." He smiled, rising one eyebrow.
„Spoilin' nice fish! Give it to us raw and w-r-riggling!" growled Loki, smirking mockingly.
„Stop it, would you?" Thor darted a rather annoyed look at his brother, looking him up and down. "Since when do you talk like that, by the way?"
„Since..." Loki seemed like remembering something funny. But then he turned to Thor. "And why shouldn't I?" Loki's eyebrows climbed up innocently.
„Because I don't like it!" Thor spat back and ripped off a piece of meat. For a moment he watched the waving sea; then swallowed and turned back. He grinned and lifted his eyebrows. „Look. Poor, nice little fish is waiting..."
"Fine!" Loki sighed.
Thor felt relieved as he watched the pale, skinny hands grab a piece of fish. Thor just needed to see his brother eating. He needed to see him doing regular stuff. Just to make sure that Loki was real.
Thor himself ate deliberately slowly and reluctantly. Then he observed, slightly amused, how his brother was hesitant for a moment but then grabbed the remaining pieces of roasted beef, too. When Loki finished eating, he wiped his hands to the soft moss and took the jug. He scented it carefully. "I'm impressed!" he exclaimed in appreciation.
„What about?" Thor asked as if confusedly and bowed his head, smiling to himself.
„I just did not expect you to take wine."
„I thought you'd like it..." Thor shrugged, still grinning and looking down. He sighed. "Unfortunately we don't have any…"
„You mean these?" Loki stopped him as he pulled two goblets from his coat, grinning widely.
„Behold the great liar and thief." Thor nodded his head.
„And murderer." Loki answered almost absentmindedly and glanced at Thor.
„Murderer? Who?" Thor asked.
„I don't know. Who do you think?" Loki raised his brows.
Thor remained silent. He chose not to continue this kind of talk.
„It's too dark in here, isn't it?" Loki asked suddenly.
„I think that's a good thing." Thor replied disapprovingly.
„But I don't like it." Loki frowned. „I almost can't see you! Let's have some light." He then snapped his fingers and the small pile of wood next to them set on fire.
Thor froze. „Are you insane? He'll notice!" he whispered insistently and gestured wildly in the broken Bridge direction.
„He's not looking." Loki waved his hand, annoyed. „I'd bet he's fast asleep."
„Heimdall never sleeps." Thor shook his head.
„Ooh, he does, you can trust me on that." Loki smirked.
„Do as you like." Thor shrugged and took the jug. However, when he turned back, he realized his brother was not there anymore.
„Have you actually thought that I took the trouble bringing the goblets just for nothing? You'll have to earn them!" It sounded almost like Loki's voice was coming from all directions.
Thor rested his forehead in his hand. „Loki... Please!"
„Oh, Thor! Come to play!"
Thor rubbed his face at that, puffed in his palms resignedly, stood up and turned reluctantly to the forest. „All right. What am I to do..?" He inquired with annoyance in his tone and folded his arms in front of him.
„Find me." Loki demanded.
Thor rolled his eyes, breathed out and looked at the ground. „You're behind a tree."
„Oh-ho! You're shrewd!" Loki laughed sarcastically. "But which one is it?"
„I don't know!" Thor flailed his arms. „Am I being punished for something, Loki? Have I done something wrong?"
„You're asking me?" Loki's voice sounded a bit more serious now.
Thor shivered as he looked at the illuminated forest and saw Loki's rude, mischievous eyes peeking out from behind several trees at the same time. This was uncomfortable. Thor realized that Loki had always been the smarter one, that Loki could have confused and deceived him whenever he pleased.
With his head bowed and fists clenched, Thor set off to the forest. When he came closer, he could not avoid raising his head. He felt like he was in the middle of a dream. The shadows of the trees, branches and grass blades danced and swirled in the shimmering light of the fire. And behind each and every single one tree, there was the same Loki. The same angular, pale face. The same bright green eyes, the same long, night-dark hair. Thor was rounding each tree vigilantly and looked carefully into those intriguing eyes that viewed him so attentively. They all hid the same restless flame inside.
„Just ten?" Thor snorted as he finally spoke.
„I can let you go and survey the entire forest if you wish so." A mocking answer sounded.
In that instant, without a second thought, Thor reached out and grasped firmly the shoulder of the Loki who had been standing right beside him. The others disappeared with laughter. This one was real.
„Gotcha, little brother." Thor's face widened with a victorious grin.
„Excellent! You surprise me more and more." Loki grinned back. „Shall we have a drink, then?"
„But that's not fair." Thor mumbled as they walked back to the glade.
„What do you mean?" Loki asked rather confusedly.
„You always let me win when nobody is watching." Thor continued with his arms folded.
„Well, and have you ever done otherwise?" Loki asked in answer.
Thor sat heavily on his original place and paused in thought. He poured the wine for Loki, then for himself. „Most likely... I have not."
„See?" Loki added and raised his goblet. „To Thor, the future King of the Realm Eternal!"
„To you, my brother." Thor responded solemnly. But just before their goblets met, Thor withdrew and looked straight to Loki's questioning eyes.
The latter remained silent, however, in a moment, he rose. So did Thor. He then twisted the hand that held the goblet around Loki's. They locked each other's gaze for a while. Then they emptied the goblets at once.
Thor disengaged his arm and smiled bitterly. „I miss those times." He spoke quietly.
Loki remained silent and turned away.
„Now I feel you are the Loki I knew." Thor continued as he stood in front of the fire. "Yet still... You've changed. Nonetheless, I'm glad you're with me again." After a silent moment Thor turned and saw Loki watching the starry sky. „And now we're playing at silence?" Thor added sarcastically.
Loki laughed quietly and bowed and nodded his head. „And what do you want me to say? From all people of Asgard I chose to be with you. Is it not enough?" Loki watched his brother with reproach. „Can't you see I depend on your good will?" He bent slightly forward. „What keeps you from turning and going to tell fa... Odin that I have returned?"
„Nothing." Thor answered calmly and shrugged.
„Nothing?" Loki hissed. „Now then, why don't you do it?"
„Somehow... I don't feel like going anywhere right now." Thor smiled to himself. He looked over his shoulder when he heard rushed, quiet footsteps. But he did not turn around. He felt a slight jerk. Then he lifted his arm a little, to see his brother's hand grasping his cape. Thor cleared his throat lightly. „What do you want?" he spoke as he looked back into the crackling fire.
„Would you come and watch the stars with me?" Loki asked simply.
Thor breathed out as he bit the insides of his cheeks. He looked over his shoulder again and laughed. He turned and wrapped his arm around Loki's neck to pull him closer. He felt his brother's protests but he did not care.
„You want me to suffocate or what?" Loki muttered angrily.
„Come on, brother, I thought you could bear more." Thor teased him.
„You smell terribly!" Loki uttered.
Thor laughed again and ruffled Loki's long hair. „Sorry, Volstagg spluttered some ale on me."
„Great! That's all I ever... wanted..." Loki growled and tried to push Thor away.
„It seems your struggle brings no effect, little brother..." Thor mocked Loki even more.
„Would you just... let... go... off me!" Loki puffed, exhausted, against Thor's shoulder as he tried to wriggle out.
„You know what I want to hear." Thor insisted, still grasping his brother effortlessly.
Loki gathered all his strength and gave it one last try. However, he was not able to move a slightest bit anymore, and when he heard Thor's quiet amused chuckles, he just breathed out, resigned, and hung his hands. „All right, fine!" he spat.
„So..?" Thor raised one eyebrow.
„Well..." Loki hesitated and sighed. „You know it's hard to say..."
„To say what?"
„To say..." Loki twisted a bit.
„What?" Thor insisted.
„I wanted you to know..."
„Huh?"
„Come closer!" demanded Loki.
„Why?" Thor blurted out confusedly and unwillingly, he bowed his head.
„Closer!" repeated Loki.
„Loki!" Thor exclaimed nervously.
Loki continued. „I just wanted to say that..." Thor bowed his head even more, so his forehead touched Loki's cheek. He stopped breathing.
„... to stress that..." Loki prolonged the silence to the limit „... you're a big, stupid, stinking oaf." Loki whispered then, smirking. "And I don't like you!" he added, fighting back the chuckles.
Thor just blinked. He knew he would not get anything else from Loki, so he loosened the grip and let his head down on his brother's. He held Loki's arms tightly and shook him. „Loki, you..!" He laughed as well. Loki patted Thor's cheek. „Come, good sir, I've become all thirsty."
When they had finally managed to calm down, they lay on the ground already, their backs buried into the moss. Thor slithered a bit closer, so his forehead touched the top of Loki's head.
„Look up!" he heard Loki's annoyed voice.
„I'm looking!" Thor rumbled.
„No, you're not!" Loki spluttered angrily. „I won't tell you anything if you do not intend to listen." He added as he turned to his side, tilted his head back and raised his dark eyebrows, so he could dart an angered look at Thor. „Pour me another." Loki commanded.
Thor chuckled in response and not sitting up, he just twisted his index finger around the jug's handle and tilted it to Loki's goblet.
Loki sat up immediately. "Look what you've done! Don't you see you're wasting the wine?" he exclaimed when he saw the wine oozing to the ground. He caught the jug and poured the wine into his goblet himself.
„Hey, and what about me?" Thor objected playfully.
„You've had enough!" Loki spat back.
„That's not true! I almost hadn't drunk anything tonight." Thor mumbled, his tone offended.
„Oh, you hadn't?" asked Loki doubtfully. „Do not worry, dear brother, I saw you."
„Mff!" answered Thor and turned away.
„Are you going to sleep already?" Loki asked quietly.
„If you pour me some wine, maybe I'll change my mind." Thor uttered, not moving.
„As you wish..." Loki added, resigned.
When they finished their goblets, they lay back into the soft moss again. This time it was Loki who came closer. „The World Tree is particularly distinct tonight." He spoke quietly.
„Where?" Thor asked, his eyes roving across the starry sky.
„Right above you, idiot!" Loki answered nervously and trailed the constellation shape with his index finger.
„Ah..!" However, Thor was still not sure, whether he was watching what he was supposed to. He felt Loki tilting his head.
„You still can't see it, right?" Loki waited. Clearly, he was smiling.
„Mmm..." Thor tried to find the lines for the last time. „No." He gave up, finally.
Loki coughed lightly. „And what am I attempting here, can you please enlighten me?"
„I'm not sure. But it's fun." Thor chuckled.
Loki breathed out heavily. „You know what? Then... then just choose something that would seem familiar to you. Focus on the brighter stars, connect them and tell me what you see."
This time, Thor was determined to surprise his brother. He tried hard to concentrate and focus. And then, the bright stars started to come forth. Thor tried not to blink, so he would not lose the image. He helped himself connect the stars together with his forefinger and crooned the melody of his favorite song. Suddenly he inhaled sharply.
„Here!" His hand shot up to the sky and trailed the constellation wildly. „This is - it must be Tyr's hand!"
„What?" Loki growled doubtfully. „Wait..." he added mysteriously and came closer, so their faces touched. „Show me once again."
„It's there, look." Thor continued trailing the found lines. „These three big stars – it's the shoulder, elbow and wrist – and those tiny ones, close together, those are the fingers."
„That's..." Loki spoke finally, „I can see it now. You're right, it looks like an arm." He agreed and then laughed suddenly.
"What is it?" Thor asked.
"Actually, the elbow star is a part of the Fenrir constellation. That fits."
"Yeah…" Thor acknowledged, grinning.
Loki laughed again and dug his elbow in Thor's shoulder. „You can bring him here tomorrow and show him. It'll be fun."
„Loki!" Thor darted a reprimanding look at his brother. The latter chuckled quietly, but did not say anything.
„But… Is there any record of such a constellation at all?" Thor breathed out almost sadly. "It does not exist, does it?"
„No." Loki answered honestly.
Thor sighed. But he immediately tilted his head closer to Loki as the latter spoke again.
„But..." Loki resumed, „That does not mean it couldn't."
The Trickster leaned back a little and looked Thor in the eye. „Just remember its position and add it to the records." He smirked. „I'm afraid you've just discovered a new constellation, my dear brother."
Thor breathed. „Are you serious?" He opened his eyes widely. Then he turned swiftly back to the sky, so he would remember the exact positions. He laughed. „They're still there."
„And where do you think they should go?" Loki chuckled.
„Tyr's arm..." Thor repeated dreamily. „I've found Tyr's arm... Thanks to you, Loki."
„Stop it, please." Loki muttered.
„And now it's your turn!" Thor blurted enthusiastically.
„What?" Loki retorted, almost startled.
„Find something!"
„You know, brother, almost everything has been discovered. You've got just lucky, that's all." Loki answered calmly and folded his arms.
„I don't believe it!" Thor protested. „Come on, Loki. Find something!"
„All right, all right, just give me a minute..." Loki agreed in the end and poured the next round. When he gulped his wine, Loki breathed out contentedly and lay back down.
„I got it." He spoke suddenly.
„What? What is it?" Thor lifted his brows eagerly as he searched the sky, ready for new discoveries.
„I think I've found Fandral's ass." Loki answered calmly.
And far away from them, at the very edge of the Bridge, Heimdall shivered and looked in the palace direction. He was not certain whether it had been just a dream, but he thought he just heard Prince Thor's hearty laughter. Something he hadn't heard for so long. And maybe, just maybe, there has been something else, some other familiar sound he could not fathom. Or, maybe, it was all just a fading illusion of the endless night above.
ooOOOoo
Thor heard someone calling his name. He opened his weary eyes slowly and sat up. The sun was already rising and a new day started to brighten above Asgard. "Loki…" Thor blurted out with a start when he noticed his brother's presence right next to him. The latter smiled, bent forward and offered Thor his hand. "Come," he said, his voice comforting as ever, "I'll take you home."
„Wait." Thor looked around. „Where are we?"
„That does not matter now." Loki answered softly. „Come, you should sleep and rest properly." He insisted and bent a bit lower.
Thor watched the surroundings just for a while longer; then he finally took the offered hand. However, instead of helping Thor on his feet, Loki got on his knee and stooped. And then something even more unexpected and strange happened. Loki forced Thor over his shoulders and lifted him up effortlessly, like he weighed nothing. Then he bowed his head and set off to the forest, taking silent, unusually long steps.
„Loki, what does it - what are you doing?" Thor whispered, amazed.
„Shh." An answer sounded.
Thor was about to object this unbelievable situation, however, in the end, he made up his mind as he thought it would be pointless. In a while, he relaxed his entire body and just let himself be carried. When they left the forest behind them, Thor viewed the landscape that extended around. It was flooded with orange, purple and golden light that was reflected back by millions of dew drops. Everything was quiet and serene, just on the edge of awakening. And they continued their slow walk in between all the flowers and trees that were just beginning to spread their scents into the air.
Slowly and quietly, they passed the gardens, rounded all the blooming flowerbeds and rivulets with burbling waters, paced along the stone-paved paths. There was no one to watch them, no one to disturb them; they were all alone, like the entire realm belonged just to them. Thor recalled that scene from his memory again. The time when they had walked those paths as children, centuries ago.
Finally, they reached one of the side entrances to the palace. Loki stopped abruptly, fell hard on his knees, and let Thor slide down. At that moment, Thor felt very uncomfortable, like roused from a dream. The cold ground chilled his face.
When he opened his eyes, he realized it was still dark. I must have been dreaming...
Something poked his arm, as if intending to turn him on his back. When Thor refused to cooperate, something huge shielded the flickering starlight. The unknown shadow came closer and breathed to his ear. The warm air made Thor's hair bristle. He turned slowly on his back to look at the shadow.
„Loki? It's you?" Thor breathed as he searched the dim light and recognized the silhouette of a horse. It was coal-black, except a white, diamond-shaped blaze on its forehead.
Loki let out a deep, muted sound. Then he bowed his head and pushed Thor again.
„All right, I'm getting up. See?" Thor chuckled and sat up. Then he ran his fingers through Loki's thick mane, held onto his neck tightly and let Loki help him on his feet.
Thor patted Loki's long, lean neck. Then he viewed his brother's mare-form in more detail. He sighed when he noticed the protruding ribs and overall skinny appearance.
„Loki, you've lost too much weight." Thor whispered worriedly as he stroked Loki's forehead and nostrils. „You really need to eat more…"
Loki shook his head and let out a growl-like sound. Thor looked into the dark, long-lashed eye for a moment. Loki blinked and turned away.
Thor then stepped closer and stroked the horse's back. „You should have awakened me, brother. You needn't have carried me." He spoke quietly. Loki turned to his brother and touched his cheek. Thor smiled at the sensation of the velvet skin and tickling whiskers. Then he wrapped his arms around Loki's neck and held him closer, so Loki made a step forward and leaned his head over Thor's shoulder. And for a moment, they just stood there entwined. Thor buried his face in Loki's mane and smiled to himself. "Don't worry, brother. You don't have to say anything. I know." He spoke softly.
Loki's throat vibrated with muffled whinny.
„Ouch!" Thor protested mutedly when Loki caught one blonde hair-tress and jerked. Thor faced his brother again and grinned. „All right, I won't say anything more." He sighed. „Good night, Loki." He loosened the grip as he spoke again. „And watch out while running down the forests."
Loki pricked up his ears and snorted.
„Just go." Thor dropped his gaze and smiled. When he looked up again, he saw Loki pacing into the shadows. And just before the silhouette of the mare blurred, he had caught a glimpse of the white blaze and twinkling dark eyes.
Even though I leave will I go on believing
That this time is real - am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through,
Never knowing the reason
I am home - I know the way
I am home - feeling oh, so far away
(Enya; Evening Falls)
You know what you want to do...
That is... leave a review! :D
And we're not finished yet! Next (and final) move: "Successor"