A/N- Ok this is my first Grey's Anatomy ff, so be nice! LoL, jk. I like any and all comments good or bad, I just prefer the good. Just as a warning it, might get a little cliched soon, but HEY what isn't a cliche now a days! So I hope you like it, and... REVIEW!
Disclaimer:I do not own Grey'sAnatomy I onlyown the box sets!
It has been five months, seven hours, 37 minutes, and about 8 seconds. Five months of lying awake in bed at night. Five months of uncertainty in my job, and in life in general. Five months of being in a hospital full of people, but still being so alone. It's been five months since I've felt the warmth that seems to surround her, or smelled the sweet scent of her perfume. Isobel Stevens left me in the cold rain five months ago, and my heart has yet to recover.
My day to day life had become a blur of unimportance and inconvenience. I could no longer strive confidently down the halls of Seattle Grace, and my work had become forced. On more than one occasion I found myself turning down a surgery. My heart wasn't in it anymore, and more than one person had noticed.
Meredith tried her best to cheer me up. In the beginning she would wake up early and try to make us all breakfast, which usually resulted in disaster. And for a few minutes her attempts actually worked. I discovered watching someone stumble around a kitchen frantically could be quite entertaining. I even managed to laugh once. But then it all came back to me.
When Izzie first got the news, the first place she went was to the kitchen. That night she made about a dozen cakes, each with homemade icing. She never stopped to talk to any of us. No, she went on as if she could bake it all away. But when it became obvious to her that baking couldn't help in the slightest, she packed her bags.
Christina once told me that she never understood why she had to go, but I knew that was wrong. Although Christian and Izzie had never been the best of friends she knew her well enough to know Izzie's nature. She was compassionate and caring. It made her both a good doctor and a good person. It was something that was beginning to be sorely missed at Seattle Grace.
The harsh realities of our jobs seemed to darken a little more when Izzie left. Patients came in and out like they always had, but all hope seemed to be drained. Izzie had been the person that kept everyone's spirits up. She made us believe that what we were doing was worth it. And without her constant presence as a reminder of this fact, what used to be my safe haven turned into a nightmare.
The night she left was one of the hardest in my life. She had come to the hospital to inform the chief of her leave of absence, and to say one final goodbye before she was on her was. She forced a smile on her face as she hugged doctors and nurses alike; assuring each that they wouldn't even notice that she was gone. Even in her own time of need she found ways to comfort others.
I idly stood back, patiently waiting and dreading my time to say goodbye. And slowly but surely people began to drift away from the queue until it was only the two of us left.
"I'll walk you to the door." I offered softly, and she nodded an obvious lump forming in her throat. I knew how much the hospital meant to her, and how it was killing her to leave. My hand slipped silently into hers as an act of comfort, and she took it gladly. The rain was pouring and, upon reaching the front doors, stopped me.
"You don't have to go out there. We can just say goodbye here." She said softly looking down at her feet. We stood in silence for second still awkwardly holding hands.
"I'll miss you, you know?" My voice was quiet and I was almost surprised that she could hear me over the steady beating of the rain.
"Hey" she tried to say cheerily "that means more surgeries for you right?" The smile quickly slid off of her face as she saw the look on mine.
"Izzie, be serious." Tension hung in the air as we looked in between each other. "You know I love you." It was a statement not a question. She never looked away from my eyes as she nodded her head soundly. "Then why do you have to go?"
"Alex…" she started, but quickly faded off in an almost defeated voice. "I have to go. What kind of person would I be if I left my own mother on her deathbed alone?" It was a typical Izzie question to ask, and I had thought about my reply a long time ago.
"Why not bring her here then?" He said, looking away from her to motion at the bustling hospital around him. "She would get the best medical care in all of Washington, and you would get to stay at your job." I looked hopefully into those big blue eyes again, but I saw nothing but sadness.
"She's never left her home, and I know full well that she wouldn't be happy spending her lasts days in this hospital being treated like a patient." I opened my mouth to make another argument but she quickly cut me off. "Plus you know that we don't have the money for her to stay here long term. It would cost a fortune, and my salary probably wouldn't even cover half the costs."
"Then why don't you hire a private nurse to stay with her?" It was my last minute hit to left field, my last attempt to keep her as close to me as possible.
"If I can't afford to keep her here, I definitely can't afford to hire a private nurse." She connected her other hand with mine, and looked up at me with sad eyes. "Alex, I have to go back and do this for her. I shouldn't be one of her regrets as she heads towards that light." I sighed sadly looking down into her soft face. "If it's any consolation I'll miss you too."
And with that she leaned up and gently pressed her lips against mine. The world stopped for that brief moment, and it seemed like there was only the two of us. But as quickly as it had come it went, and she slipped smoothly out of my arms.
"Goodbye Alex." She walked out the front doors into the pouring rain.
As I walked out of the house this morning it was raining as heavily as it was that day and I let out a sigh of contempt. It seemed that life wanted nothing more but to bring me down. The hospital was surprisingly quiet when he arrived, and he couldn't help but wonder where Meredith and George had gotten too. They had left earlier than him this morning claiming that they had patients who needed to be tended to.
As I walked down the hallway a few people nodded at me but everyone knew it would be no use to try to start a conversation. I had never been that guy, and in light of recent events wouldn't be that guy anytime soon. It was almost shocking how slow it was.
With a slight suspicion I continued down the hallway until I got to the residents changing area. I knew that everyone would most likely be on rounds by now leaving the place all to me. I opened the door and immediately froze at what I heard. It was a laugh, a laugh I hadn't heard for what seemed to be a life time.
It had been five months, seven hours, thirty seven minutes, and about eight seconds since I had seen her. Thunder clapped outside signifying the coming of something bad was coming. And the moment I saw Isobel Stevens standing before me, I couldn't help but agree.