A/N: Alright guys, this is my first official fanfiction on any website. I would greatly appreciate reviews both good and bad. Also, sorry this chapter is so long, it just didn't seem good to cut it short anywhere.

The morning air flowing through the open window is brisk and the sun starting to rise. I know this before my eyes even open. Autumn is setting in again, almost a full year since she lead the rebellion that resulted in our new country of Panem. I become aware that I am in fact holding her in my arms, the girl I have always loved. The girl, that birds would fall silent to, listening to her sing. The girl that helped me find the light in my insanity.

I open my eyes and inhale the smell of her shampoo; nothing like the ones given while I was in the Capitol recuperating, however just as elegant and more natural smelling. I move strands of hair out off of her forehead as I patiently wait for her to wake up. Katniss Everdeen, whom with her dark brown hair that always left strands covering her forehead but always in a single braid. Katniss Everdeen, whom always looks more pleasant to a stranger when she is asleep than awake. Katniss Everdeen, the only girl who knows what I've been through and the only girl to care for a slightly insane-no broken-young man.

She opens her eyes finally and peers up at my from her position on my chest, my first words that I utter are, "No nightmares?" though this seems old to many other people. If they were to know what the two of us have been through they could possibly understand why I insist on asking every morning that there are no nightmares where Katniss thrashes in bed, if she had any at all.

To answer my presumptions she replies, "No nightmares." With that I continue to hold her in my arms a while longer as we watch each other. Neither of us speak, but that is okay with us. No words need to be spoken, just as long as I am with her. Finally after a lifetime of staring at one another we decide it is to get up and start the morning.

The sun has fully risen by the time we are finished in the bathroom. In the kitchen where we meet each other after she finishes her shower, the bread I made yesterday sits on the table, I pour a glass of milk for her and then for myself, and I begin to make bacon and eggs for us to eat. Greasy Sae, the vendor from the Hob, the black market where Katniss made her living before the first Games, rarely comes by now that I am here. She knows I will not let Katniss starve nor has Katniss attempted it in these last few months.

At first it was hard, even with me or Greasy Sae there coaxing food into her. I gave her the cheese buns she loved so much until she realized that I wasn't going away. For me it helped keep mind off of the still frequent hallucinations and nightmares, and it helped me gain Katniss back little by little. I think I was harder in accepting Katniss this time than she was me. However even the torture that the Capitol put me through couldn't break mine and Katniss's relationship.

As Katniss and I sit at the table sitting across from one another Buttercup, Katniss's late sister's old cat, rubs up against my artificial leg. At first I don't realize it until I extend that leg out and feel something harder than air move out of the way. He meows, hisses, and swipes at the leg. I lower my hand filled with one strip of bacon to feed him. That's all he ever does: hisses, eats, and watches over Katniss and I.

I look up to see Katniss staring at me with a little less than a scowl—it makes you wonder if that is her permanent expression—nonetheless that's when it hits me. A flashback. I instinctively grab the wood of the table with all my strength forcing my knuckles to pale. Katniss knows immediately, for she is already up and half way across the kitchen. She still puts distance between the two of us when my flashbacks come, afraid I will strike out again, but never leaves the room. This flashback, I am uncertain if it is real or an effect of the venom. I lay with Katniss in a cave, with water dripping down from the cracks in the rocks. Her body is hot to the touch, she has a fever. I get up careful not to stir her, and grab the plastic sheet to stuff in the cracks to prevent the water from reaching her. That's where I start to see the shining of the rocks, however I am unaware of if it is from the water or not. I peer around me and everything is starting to shimmer and shine. Even Katniss when I look at her unconscious body.

As the flashback continues I begin to feel uneasy, my knees buckle although I'm still sitting down. I feel my gait shift under me and I realize I'm about to fall out of my seat a moment too late. I come crashing to the floor, save my face from getting hurt my body will be covered in bruises later. The fall breaks my trance and when I look up, she is not there. Katniss did not remain in the same room as me. Nor is she here comforting me on my fall.

Slowly I get up, careful to place my feet underneath me in a supportive way. Once I am steady and stable I call out her name. Without an answer I become frantic, where is Katniss? Did she become so frightened she ran to the woods where she can find solace? Did she freak out at my state and huddle in a corner in the closet, just like what Haymitch says she always did? I walk out of the kitchen area and crane my head in every direction to try and find a tell-tale sign of where she wandered. The door to the front has not been touch to the best of my knowledge. I go through every room on the two floors to look for her. I check every corner and behind or under every piece of furniture the rooms have to offer. Other than the breeze from the open windows and my own presence the house is empty of life.

I decide to check the closet in the bedroom. If her father's old hunting jacket is missing then I definitely know where she is. However, when I find it there in its usual spot I know that she didn't head to the woods. I walk to the front door and open it. It has started to rain. I know I should go and close all the windows in the house but I don't. I walk the perimeter of her house in the Victor's Village, where we both live. I've only been in my own house twice since I've been back. That house does not feel like my own, not since before the Quarter Quell last year, and not really ever before that.

As I walk the perimeter I pass by the evening primroses that I had planted the day I got back. There seems to have been a disturbance in the bushes, and the leaves that have fallen from the nearby tree seem to have been crushed. I look up to the window above the bushes of roses and notice that it is opened more than I normally have it.

Now I know I'm no good at tracking but I do know Katniss well enough to know that she would have used this window because it is in the direction of the kitchen where she had fled. I also know Katniss to know that she wouldn't venture into the ashes that still scatter the town, and that if she would have gone to the woods she would have taken her father's jacket. There is only one other place I think she might be. Haymitch's.

As I walk the steps leading to the front door of his house, I hear noises coming from inside. Though very faint from the rain that has started down at a heavier flow, I can make out some of the conversation. Without a doubt Katniss is here, and is confronting Haymitch about something. "Listen sweetheart, it's going to take time to heal. We've already talked about this. Think of what you've already been through; you gave up your chance to live so that your sister could survive when you volunteered in your first Games. You willing would have sacrificed your life if it meant saving him in the second, you lead a whole rebellion that overthrew the government, one where it did both physical and mental damage to your already broken state. You have also survived six months since he's been back-"

I cannot hear what Haymitch says next, either because his voice trailed off or he dropped it to a whisper. The next thing I hear is Katniss, "You know it'd be a lot easier if you were to visit more often instead of drinking your life away. Even if I hunt everyday it still wouldn't be easy having to face all this. Everytime I see him like this I panic. I fear that he will lapse and go back to-" This I know Katniss didn't drop her voice because it faltered on the last words.

That's when I realize what drove Katniss away today. She is afraid I will revert back into a play toy that the Capitol created, that I will attempt to kill her. I can help but feel offended at this. After all that we've been through the last six months have been what I thought of as progression to normality but apparently my thoughts were not reciprocated. My first thoughts are to break open the door and demand a little acknowledgement from her on my progression, however I refrain myself to listen to the conversation a while longer.

"You well know that I want Peeta to get better just as much as you do, but as I've said before, put yourself in his shoes. He's on a road to recovery and is making an attempt to find normalcy in his life. Any minute he can turn back around again go back to the muttation he was molded into, but he doesn't. Now why do you think that is? Certainly not because it's easier going forward than it is to turn back. No, he did it because he wants to be with you. Whatever you did that broke him while you were trapped in the Capitol helped him see what he wants to do now. It's going to take time."

If there is any response from Katniss I cannot hear it because I am still turning over what Haymitch said. Haymitch has stuck his neck out for me because he believes I will get better. He knows sure enough I will be myself again and that we can live a fuller life. He also mentioned that he's talked about this before, or at least similar conversations. How many times, I wonder.

I decide that if I am to go into his house now is a better time than ever. I open the door and step inside. The talking from the kitchen stops abruptly and Katniss meets me in the doorway. "Hey," she says. That's it. No "I'm sorry" or "How do you feel?" or "Are you okay?" just a simple "Hey".

I don't answer immediately; I look at her trying to discern what might be going on in her head. From what I told from her conversation with Haymitch before I walked in she didn't trust me but now that I look at her face to face she seems worried. So I answer, "Hey, Hey Haymitch. What were you doing here Katniss?"

Haymitch nods his acknowledgement and Katniss wraps her arms around my neck, but I could see her stammer before she answers me, "I-I… I got worried about you. You had a contorted look on your face. And I asked Haymitch if there was any way to speed up your healing process."

I turn to Haymitch but rather than saying anything he just waves his hand saying he's not getting involved. "So you don't think I'm making progress?" I ask choosing the words carefully. If she believes this was so then she might not want to be near me while I recover. Although it is a ridiculous thought since she has helped me more than she would ever know. Her just being with me and not running away is phenomenally significant in itself. Besides, she was more than happy to see me when I finally came back from the Capitol.

She hesitates before she answers, "It's not that I don't believe you are making progress, because I do. It's just I—I don't know maybe I'm too impatient. I want it to be like before the Capitol stole you away from me. Where I never had to worry about you… you know… hurting anyone, or even hurting me."

I knew this shouldn't upset me but it did. I pushed her away from where we stood and spat, "Have I ever tried hurting you since I've been back? Have I ever had a falter in my inner battles between myself and what the Capitol created? Have I ever been anything but careful around you? You know for a fact that I have to refrain myself from being what I used to be with you just in case I do have a slip up, but have I? Have I ever come close?"

Katniss backed away even further from me. Hurt in her eyes, I can tell I crossed a line. But not the one that brought her to think of me as insane. She looks more concerned for me than for herself at this point. "No but-"

"But what Katniss? Just like Haymitch said. It's going to take time for me to not have any more venom induced hallucinations. Hell for all we know they will never truly go away!" I am one level away from shouting at the top of my lungs. Luckily we're not in public making a scene. I try to calm myself before I speak again. "You know what," I steady my voice to just barely above a whisper. "Come get me when you grow up and stop thinking of yourself. You know where I will be."

With that I walk away from my true love and the only friend that might have any idea as to how to help me—her—us. I bolt out the door and decide to go to my own house in the Victor's Village. There I find I have clothes to change into. The rain had poured down at a heavy but steady rate while we were in Haymitch's house.

A/N: Remember! Reviews, reviews, reviews!