MY version of Mulan
By: Dr. Ripper Roo
Roo: This is MY version of Mulan. Surprise couples are in
this fic here. Has TONS of humor,(Okay not tons, but there is some!) not to
mention it is more closely based upon the movie. This story is HIGHLY dedicated
to: Bearer of Courage, and Myscticjade. And now for the fic.
It was any regular patrol that night,
the solider was making his rounds making sure there was no suspicious
activities going on. Just then the scream of a hawk came from behind. It
attacked the watchman from behind. Surprised he quickly went to the other side
of the wall to see if anything was happening. A hook appeared, then several
tens of more just like that came out of nowhere and latched on the wall. The
guard quickly tried to make the alarm and climbed the ladder to where the "fire
alarm" was. The ladder the guard had climbed was quickly smashed to bits. He
then lit the fire. Other guards around saw the message and quickly lit theirs.
Within a few moments a trail of fire was lit form one end of the great wall to
the other. A mysterious shadow like figure came to the other side of the fire.
The guard trying to act tough said, "Now all of china knows you're here."
The
shadow like figure manacling said, "Excellent"
In the throne room everybody was
bustling for they heard that Gengis Khan was in China. The general came in and
said to the emperor, "Sir, Gengis Khan's army is in China, I will set troops
around your palace."
The
emperor said, "No, protect my people, remember 1 grain of rice can tip the
scale from victory and defeat."
"Yes,
my highness," the general answered.
In
the Takenouchi house (the next day!)
"Polite,
charming, willing to duties without asking," Sora was preparing to meet the
matchmaker that day, "What other words are there to describe me?" Sora thought
out loud. She looked out the window and then found out it was late. "Oh boy,"
thought Sora "I'm late!" Sora quickly jumped out of bed and headed towards the
kitchen. "Little brother, little brother, oh there you are," Sora said as she
reached down and petted the dog. "Say, would you like to help me in my chores?"
Sora asked as she petted the dog. The dog barked with glea. Sora tied a stick
to the back of the dog's collar then a bone tied to the other end of the stick.
She also tied a ripped bag of seeds to the collar, so where ever the dog went,
it would leave a trail of seeds. Sora gave a little pat on the butt and the dog
ran off. She then headed to the shrine dedicated to her ancestors.
"Please,
let my daughter Sora make a good impression towards the matchmaker," Mr.
Takenouchi prayed. Little brother ran around Sora's dad and chickens came into
the shrine room. Mr. Takenouchi headed out and ran into Sora. "Sora, what are
you doing here, you should get going," Mr. Takenouchi said. "The doctor said
you should have 3 cups of tea every day," Sora said informatively. "You must
go, you might be late," Mr.Takenouchi begged. "Don't worry, I'm on my way,"
Sora said reassuringly. She then turned quickly got on her horse and left. "Oh
well, I might as well go and pray some more."
"Of all the days to be late, why this
one?" asked Mrs.Takenouchi as if some one would answer her question.
"Who needs to worry?" asked grandma, "I got
myself a lucky cricket, and what better way to test it out than to cross that
intersection with my eyes closed." She said smugly.
"Grandma,
NO!" Mrs.Takenouchi yelled, but it was too late. Grandma had closed her eyes
and started to cross the road. Horses and people who pulled carts soon collided
trying to dodge Grandma. When she opened her eyes she said, "Yup, this one is a
lucky one!" Groans could be heard from the people who had just crashed.
"Present,"
Sora said as she jumped off her horse.
"It's
about time you know," Mrs.Takenouchi said. And together they walked inside to
get ready for the matchmaker.
"What
do you mean I got to marry!?" Matt questioned his father. The Ishidas were the
2nd most powerful family in China. Though the parents were divorced,
the brothers liked to visit each other very often.
"Son,
don't make it any harder than it really is," Mr. Ishida shot back.
"You're
telling me that I have to marry a girl whom which I don't know and like?!" Matt
said angrily.
"It's
for the good of the family," Mr.Ishida tried reasoning with him.
"You're
telling me that MY marriage is an investment for you so that I end up like you
and mom!?" Matt said irritability.
"You
don't EVER try comparing that to Your parents!" Mr. Ishida screamed.
"Hi
guys, how's it going," T.K. said cheerfully. The two men shot ice freezing
glances that sent a cold chill up T.K.'s back.
"Okay,
I just leave and let you 2 discuss about whatever you were talking about," T.K.
said sheepishly as he closed the door.
"I'm
going with T.K.," Matt said hotly, and he exited the room by slamming the door.
"What
was going on back there?" T.K. asked curiously.
"Nothing
of your business," Matt said coldly.
"Let
me guess, it's about that marriage thing," T.K. replied smartly.
"How
do you know?" Matt asked.
"Everybody
here could hear you two argue," T.K. said.
"Oh,
in that case, let's run away," Matt whispered into T.K.'s ear. T.K. was
shocked, why his brother has never done a thing like that before.
"But
why?" T.K. asked.
"Do
you want to marry some ditzy girl you don't even love or know? Come with me,
we'll have a blast in the city until I cool down a bit," Matt said.
"That's
for you. Then again I could get out of here and have some fun and meet some
pretty girls," T.K. replied smartly.
"Well,
glad that's settled. First thing's first, I'll get some commoner's for the both
of us. As for you, you'll take care of the food, and don't forget to get enough
food for the both of us that would last a few days," Matt said as matter of
factly.
"But
where are we going?" T.K. asked.
"I
don't know, but where ever we're going, we're going far away from this place."
Matt said as he was looking out the window. As soon as that the both of them
quickly got everything ready.
Mimi was quickly upset when she heard
that she had to marry a man she didn't love. Unlike Matt who had thought of
what he was going to do, Mimi just ran out of the palace. She ran as far as she
could and tried to resist the elements as the best as she could. Her weak body
gave away to the elements it wasn't till a mysterious pair that saved her.
Sora was dressed and had make-up
applied to her. Her Grandma had given her the cricket for good luck. Sora
caught up with the other ladies who were waiting for the matchmaker.
"Takenouchi,
Sora" the matchmaker called out.
"Here!"
Sora said.
"Speaking
without permission," the matchmaker marked down.
Sora
followed the matchmaker inside and the doors closed with a huge BOOM!
"Hm,
skinny waist, short red hair, thin arms, shows rebellion," the matchmaker wrote
down. As for the cricket, he opened the cage and got out.
"What
do you have to say for yourself?" the matchmaker asked.
Sora
read quickly opened her fan and started to fan herself as she read the words
she had written on her arm. "I'm quiet, willing to do orders without question,
charming, willing to do for what is best for the family," Sora said.
The
matchmaker grabbed Sora's arm and looked at the fan, both sides.
"Well,
that was quite a comeback," the matchmaker said as she put her two fingers and
made a "inky beard".
"We
will now practice the tea time routine. You first pour the tea quietly and with
out spilling it," the matchmaker babbled on how to pour the tea. It was Sora
how realized their was Cricket in one of the cups, and it was taking a hot
bath.
"And
now I drink the tea," the matchmaker said before she got a sip.
"You
wouldn't want to do that," Sora advised. The matchmaker wouldn't listen, Sora
tried pulling the cup back and the both of them were now pulling on the cup
until Sora let go. The matchmaker fell back into a little fire and before you
know it she had her rear end on fire.
"Put
it out, put it out!" she screamed running around in circles. Sora took out her
fan and tried fanning it out, but to her avail that just got the flame bigger.
The matchmaker soon opened the doors and screamed "PUT IT OUT!!!!"
The
matchmaker soon stopped dropped and rolled, which eventually put the fire out.
Sora quickly walked out of the house as if nothing had happened. As for
cricket, he jumped in his cage and closed the door shivering with fear.
The matchmaker said "Sora, you are a
disgrace! YOU will bring DISHONOUR to YOUR family!" With that she closed the
doors with a heavy THUD!
"Somebody
ought to pour hot bean curd down HER dress," grandma said with a remark. As for
Sora, she didn't know what to say to her dad.
As Sora entered her house compound,
there was her dad, gleaming with pride. Sora hid her face her horse, Chiang Li.
She went inside and washed her self up and dressed into her daily attire. She
went to her garden and sat underneath the Blossom Tree. (I'm sorry, I don't
know my trees!)
Sora's
dad struggled to come towards her with his crutch in his arm and sat down next
to here.
"So,
how was the meeting with the matchmaker?" Sora's dad asked trying to strike up
a conversation.
"Don't
even want to talk about it," Sora said sadly.
"Look
Sora, all the flowers have bloomed, all except for that one. But when it
blooms, it would be the prettiest flower ever," Sora's dad said with a
comforting tone, "Sora, you just being a daughter for me is all the honor I
need from you." He said as he gave Sora a hug.
There was a trumpet sound. Everybody
in the village came to see what the commotion was. It was Emperor Gennai's
secretary, Lu Fang, and the General. "There must be a war going on," Sora said
to herself.
"From
the Lee family," Lu said.
"I'll
go," Bruce said.
"From
Chan family," Lu said again.
"I'll
go in my father's place," Jackie said.
"From
the Takenouchi family," Lu said snobbishly.
"NO!
My father can't go! He has served the army once, isn't that enough?!" Sora
pleaded.
"Back
off puny girl," Lu said snobbishly once again. Sora backed off scared.
Mr.Takenouchi gave his crutch to his wife and walked boldly, and courageously
towards the scroll in front of him.
"Dad,
don't do it!" Sora pleaded.
"Sora,
you dishonor me," Mr. Takenouchi said coldly. He walked towards the scroll and
took it. Once inside the compound he collapsed in pain because of his injured
leg long back.
Sora
just stood there and everybody went back to their normal activities before the
Imperial Guards came. Then a hand came on her shoulder. Sora flinched and
quickly turned around. There was a boy her age who had brown messy hair and
chocolate eyes.
"You
okay?" he asked.
"Yeah,
just a bad day at the matchmaker," Sora said blushing madly.
"I'm
Tai Kamiya, what's your name?" he asked politely.
"I'm
Sora-" Sora was cut off when Tai heard his father calling him.
"Don't
worry, I'll come back," Tai said. He turned around and headed towards where his
father was.
"Well,"
Sora thought to herself "At least my day wasn't THAT bad."
When Tai got home, he was hanging out
with is best friend, Davis. Those have been like brothers since when they first
met. They always shared all their problems, secrets, and helped each other
study. Though Davis used to have a crush on Kari, he gave up on her because she
would pay attention to him. Ever since after giving up on Kari, he went after
another cute girl named Kayla whose family owned a bakery shop. Now he and Kari
are "okay" friends. There is one thing people often mistake about Davis and
Tai; they often mistake them as brothers. Kari says that they're like long lost
brothers and have everything in common except the hairstyle. Anyway, where was
I? Oh yes, Tai was back home hanging out with his friend Davis, they were near
the local village pond.
"Hellooooooooo,
anybody home?" Davis waved his hand in front of Tai. Obviously Tai was
daydreaming about Sora.
"Oh,
um, I didn't fall asleep, I was closing my eyes," Tai quickly said.
"Hey,
I didn't know you go to school while you daydream," Davis said mockingly.
"Ha,
ha, that was really funny," Tai said sarcastically.
"What
were you thinking anyway?" Davis asked curious to know.
"Something
you won't understand," Tai said.
"What
do ya mean I won't understand, we've been through everything, you know, love,
tests, girls, and whole lot of other things," Davis replied smartly.
"Oh
all right, you see I meet this girl in a nearby village. She was really
beautiful, without makeup, and looks like she had a bad day at the matchmaker,"
Tai said informatively, "And her name was Sora, I couldn't here the last name
cause I had to go."
"Nearby
village huh? Looks like you should make the moves on her, because I'M the
matchmaker and you two JUST HAVE to be married, after the war that is," Davis
said in a very bad snobbish accent.
"Why
you little…" Tai was about to toss Davis in when this remark hit them.
"Captain
Tai, is that how you'll treat Lt. Davis," Kari said smartly.
Tai
and Davis just stared at Kari.
"Tai,
it's a trick, like last time!" Davis warned Tai. You see, back when they were
little kids, Kari called them captains, which they both thought they were. They
made fools of them selves and the town laughed at them, in which they both
deserved the nicknames "Soon to be captains"
"Very
funny Kari, besides Yolie with you, who is that other girl?" Tai asked.
"Oh,
this girl, her name is Mimi Fa," Yolie said informality. The reason Mimi told
Yolie her fake last name is so Mimi isn't sent back to her parents.
"Well,
take her home and treat her up," Tai said with that Captain thing coming over
his head.
"Tai,
I was wondering, if Mimi could be a assistant nurse with, Yolie, Dr. Joe, and
me?" Kari asked hopefully.
"Oh
all right, the more assistants the better, and tell her it would be no easy job
to slack on," Tai said as he turned around.
"Your
brother's cute," Mimi said to Kari, unfortunately Davis overheard her.
"Hey,
hands off Tai, he's off after some cute girl," Davis said obnoxiously.
"You
obnoxious jerk!" Mimi shot back.
"Please,
if must insult me, use NEW words, and another thing, "obnoxious jerk" describes
me and Tai, but I ought to go now, it's dinner time!" Davis said smartly as he
turned around and headed home. Mimi was furious, it was Yolie that helped her
cool down.
"Don't
worry, you'll soon learn to love that obnoxious personality of his and Tai's,"
Yolie said coolly.
"Matt, I've really got to go!" T.K.
said urgently.
"T.K.,
whoever said for you to drink 5 gallons of water before we left?" Matt asked
quite annoyed, "Fine, we as well camp here for tonight!" Matt said as he
pointed to a spot. T.K. quickly went and did his manly business.
They
set up a camp except for ONE major thing T.K. forgot: the FOOD!
"Hey
T.K., where's the food?" Matt asked.
"I
thought YOU brought the food!" T.K. shot back.
"Well,
at least I got the tent set up, and besides how much worse can it get?" Matt
asked. As if on cue thunder boomed and lightning flashed. The both of them
quickly head into the tent. Just then the tent collapsed on the both of them.
"Some
tent," T.K. commented.
"Oh
shut up!" Matt said. And it was raining; Matt and T.K. fell asleep, very hungry
and cold.
At the Takenouchi household there was
a silent dinner. The sounds were Sora pouring some tea. It was her who broke
the silence.
"I
don't see why you have to go!" Sora blurted out.
"It
is an honor to serve the emperor," Mr. Takenouchi said calmly.
"You'll
get killed!" Sora shot back.
"It
is an honor to die for the emperor," Mr. Takenouchi said coolly.
"So
you're telling me you're willing to go on a suicide mission in which the
chances of you coming back is 1 out of never! What about us! Your family! Don't
even think about us!" Sora said as tears were filling her eyes.
"You
are my daughter! You will do as I say and my decision is FINAL!" Mr.Takenouchi yelled
at his daughter. Sora quickly turned and ran outside of the house crying.
Mr.Takenouchi was still fuming, no dared to talk or make any rude noise.
Sora
was outside underneath the great Wargreymon statue, wondering what she should
do. It was cloudy that night, and it was a half moon too. Sora knew if her
father went to war he would never come back. She had no idea what to do, until
it struck her. She would go as a male solider; she knew it was risky, but she
had to take a chance. She went to the room where her father had all his armor
and the Takenouchi sword, which was a dragon, but before she could do that she
went to the shrine house and worshipped her ancestors for good luck and safety.
Sora then walked ever so cautiously into her parents bedroom, she took her comb
in her hair and switched it with the scroll to enter the training camp. She
then entered where her father stored his armor. She took the sword, then with a
quick flash she cut her hair. (She had a haircut pretty much like Ken's) She put
the armor on and went to the stables, thunder flashed and Chiang Li was
frightened by the unfamiliar image and reared wildly. Sora ran to the horse and
soothed and calmed it down. She got on the and without looking back she made
Chiang Li run at full gallop out of the house. The thunder boomed, the doors
slammed "SORA'S GONE!" yelled Grandma. Mr. Takenouchi alarmed quickly took a
look at where he left the scroll for the Training Camp.
"Oh
no," he mumbled. He quickly ran outside yelling Sora, Sora come back!
"Ancestors
hear our prayers, please keep Sora safe," Grandma prayed in the darkest hour of
the night.
(Okay,
not many Funny parts are there? Don't worry, here's some stuff that ought to
make you smile! J)
The light from the half moon shined it
ways in, the tombstone of the oldest ancestor glimmered like a million
diamonds.
"Ah,
this feels refreshing," Gennai complemented as he stretched out. (This is the
older Gennai!)
"Veemon
awaken!" Gennai said as he pointed to Veemon. There was a bright flash, smoke
hovered from the place until…
"I'm
aliveeeeeeeee," Veemon said as he imitated the old Frankenstein being brought
to life.
"Veemon,
awaken the other spirits," Gennai ordered.
"Yes
sir, one dead family reunion coming right up!" Veemon said, "All right, come on
people, beauty sleep's over, come on, you know the drill, better wake up before
it gets any worse!" Veemon yelled as he banged the gong.
"My,
my, I was having a great dream and sleep until you HAD to wake me up!" Mummymon
complained, "Oh my dear wife Arukenimon, you look beauty-" Mummymon was cut off
with Arukenimon elbowing him in the stomach.
"I
guess your still that grumpy person in the morning type," Mummymon wheezed out.
"Relatives,
there is a reason I called out here this night. Sora has runaway to the
training camp," Gennai said as he informed every one. Everyone gasped.
"I
knew that girl was trouble!" Shelly said.
"This
is bad, very bad! If they find out Sora is a girl we'll lose the farm, respect,
money, and most of all RESPECT!" Ebenezer the geek said with panic.
"This
is all your fault Mummymon, the genes came from YOUR side of the family!"
Arukenimon accused.
"Well,
if the genes came from MY side her bra and pantyhose came from YOUR side!"
Mummymon shot back.
"There
is no reason to accuse on another, my plan is simple: We'll send one of the
guardian gods after Sora," Gennai said calmly, "We'll send the most-"
"Quickest"
"Fastest"
"Cunning"
everyone blurted out those three.
"No,
we'll send the most powerful of them all we'll send-" Gennai was once again
cutoff.
"Me,"
Veemon said as he got on one of the stands and pointed to himself.
Everybody
cracked up and started laughing.
"What,
what?" Veemon said quite annoyed.
"If
we were wanting to KILL Sora, why not?" Mummymon said laughing like crazy.
"You're
going to bring Sora back in several PIECES!" Ebenezer said laughing his head
off.
"Well
why not?" Veemon asked.
"I'm
sure you know what happened to Puppetmon," Gennai said with a grin on his face.
"His
head was cleanly cut off!" Mummymon yelled as he pointed his cane towards
Puppetmon.
"Yeah,
thanks a lot for letting my head fly," Puppetmon said sarcastically.
"Well,
where was I? Oh yes, we're going to send the great Wargreymon,
AND
Veemon will respectively wake him up," Gennai said while everybody gave Veemon
a cold hard stare.
"Can
I have one more chance?" Veemon asked hopefully. Arukenimon kicked Veemon hard
in the nuts, which sent him flying towards the Wargreymon statue.
"What
about my gong and a another chance?" Veemon asked hopefully.
Gennai
threw the gong like a discus which hit Veemon squarely in the chin.
"What
about that stick thingy and another chance?" Veemon asked again. Mummymon threw
the gong stick so precise that it hit Veemon straight on with the forehead.
"I'll
take those both no's" Veemon said quite hurt. Veemon got up and climbed the
Wargreymon statue until he reached the head.
"Okay
Mr. Tough, time to wake up!" Veemon yelled as he banged the gong as loud as he
could. Veemon quite annoyed then started banging the gong on the statue's head.
To all of his avail a piece of the statue fell off.
"Oh
look, a piece fell off, so what?" Veemon said quite pissed off, "Wait a minute,
this is an old fragile stone statue!" Veemon exclaimed when he finally found
out his mistake. Then the statue crumbled beneath Veemon's feet.
"Wargreymon,
have you awakened?" Gennai asked. Veemon not sure what to do or say until an
idea hit him. Using the statue head as a "helmet" he put on his head and talked
in a really deep voice.
"You
betcha I woke up!" Veemon lied.
"Well
then, fetch Sora," Gennai ordered.
"Okee
dokey, I'm going right now to fetch Sora!" Veemon said as he stumbled backward.
Veemon took off the statue head and started worrying.
"Oh
man, if they find out I broke the statue they'll kill me!" Veemon said in a
scared voice, "Think Veemon, think!" It was cricket that helped Veemon spark an
idea. He chirped, "Sora is near the training camp,"
"Training
camp!" Veemon exclaimed. "That's it! I'll take Sora to battle and make her a
war hero in which the gods would like very much and then they make me guardian
god again!" Veemon squealed. "What you want to come too? Well stay home and
stay put!" Veemon ordered as he turned around and traveled in the direction in
which Sora went. Cricket just couldn't stay put; he just had to follow Veemon.
Pretty
good huh? Okay here's what YOU have to do, just REVIEW! Another thing, does the
story seem somewhat familiar? Okay so I admit, I BORROWED the parts form PRIDE
AND LOVE WITHOUT MYSTICJADE'S PERMISSION! DEAR GOD I'M SORRY! Just to kiss and
make with her I will unravel the next couple! Kouyako! Gomen! (Japanese for
sorry!) Until then review, another thing, please, please come here often! I
don't how to stress this! Another thing in your review please tell me you WILL
COME HERE OFTEN! Thank You! Now Review! I made friends with the Dark Masters if
you don't review and we will pay you a little visit if you don't review…
