One night Oscar Wilde was pacing his room,
When an auburn-haired wizard flew in on a broom.
Oscar just about died from the surprise and the shock;
The wizard ran to the door and turned the key in the lock.
He said, "Don't worry, Oscar, for I mean you no harm,
And you'll just worry Constance if you sound the alarm."
Oscar said, "I must say, this is quite unexpected.
If you're not gone in a moment I will have you ejected."

The wizard replied, "My name is Albus Dumbledore
And I am a wizard, like Merlin of yore.
I come from the future, not so far away –
And I'm like you, Oscar, I am also gay.
Thought I don't consort with boys of ill repute,
I'd really truly love to have your suit.
You see, its plum color turns me envy-green –
I want it so much that it's almost obscene.
I hate to tell you, Oscar, but you won't prevail –
You're going to do two years in Reading Gaol.
Should have broke with Bosie when you had the chance –
Seductive blond boy can equal tragic romance.
But I don't blame you, Oscar, I had one of my own.
He went and killed my sister, then he left me alone.
Now about this suit, I will give you the cash –
You should give it to your wife before her life turns to ash."

Oscar said, "Dear boy! Your life is simply tragic!
I suppose you can't have everything, even with magic.
And you must be so lonely, now your lover is gone."
Albus said, "Yes I am, every night until dawn.
I'm don't know if that was a seductive pursuit,
But if it was, I would just like the suit."

Oscar had had hopes, for the lad seemed poetic,
But that long, broken nose was really quite unaesthetic.
Oscar said, "Well, you see, I don't believe what you say –
Though there was some scandal over Dorian Gray,
I shall never go to gaol – no, not for any reason.
I love Bosie dearly and he won't commit treason.
But my purple suit is really quite out of style,
So I'll give it to you free if you think it's worthwhile."

The suit exchanged hands, but Oscar had concerns.
He said, "Albus, my dear, I know tragic love burns,
But you must pursue beauty – is there some other boy
Who could soothe all your woes and who could bring you joy?"

Albus thought for a moment and he said, "I'm not sure –
My friend Elphias wants me but his love is so pure.
I've done horrible things, I've planned world domination –
I know I'm not worthy to have adoration."

"We're all sinners, dear boy," Oscar said in reply;
"If he truly loves you, then you must not deny
A chance for your salvation, to begin a new life.
Love is a power so much stronger than strife.
But you really must go now, for you've been here too long.
If someone should find you, things could go very wrong."
He gave Albus a kiss and a tall green carnation,
And suddenly Albus felt a shot of elation.

He flew back to the future, with the wind in his hair –
He would find his redemption, and he'd find it with flair.
It was night in the future, and Elphias was in bed.
Albus flew through the window; Elphias woke and he said,
"Albus, it's near midnight! What are you doing here?"
His expression was a mixture of worry and fear.
Albus brought forth the flower, and he took his friend's hand.
He said, "Things haven't gone quite as I planned,
But Elphias, if you'll have me, I want to find out whether
I could love you as you want, if we should be together."

Elphias took the flower and stroked Albus's hair.
He told him, "I'm so glad to see you out of despair."
Albus kissed him in earnest – Elphias laughed and smiled –
And Albus was grateful to O.F.O.W. Wilde.