(Crispin is on his computer at the time)

My cell phone went off in my pocket, I jumped from it being startling.

I pulled it out and looked at the caller id. "Adrian…?" I said in my head and flipped it open to find a text message. When I read it, I almost choked on the air I was breathing.

1 text:

"Crispin, I don't think I can take this shit anymore…please help me before I do something, I'll be at the central bridge" –Adrian- (received)

I pulled myself out from my computer chair;

I grabbed my sweater that was tossed on my bed and ran outside into the cold dark night.

I could see my breath as I took it in and out and my feet started to feel heavier with each step I took. I made it to the central bridge and looked up to see Adrian sitting on the ledge.

"Adrian, Adrian wait!" I quickly ran up the stairs to him.

He was shaking, I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or if he finally lost it.

"We can talk about it; we can…"I paused.

He tightly gripped the rusted metal pole he was sitting on while he let his feet dangling to the busy street below us. He looked memorized at the bright colors and then he said.

"It's like an endless sea, I just want to dive into…let the current take me…"

I stood beside him now and grabbed his wrist. "Please…Don't talk like that"

He looked at my hand then our eyes met.

His were dull, empty like him.

His face wrinkled in disgust at himself, tears then started to spill down his face.

He got himself off from the railing and covered his face with his hands. "I'm so stupid, I can't stand living…but I'm petrified of death"

He leaned his frame on me and I embraced around him.

"Shh. It's okay…it'll be okay" I whispered to him as he whimpered lowly.

…When I first met Adrian he was never like this. So what happened, to make him so depressed now? I thought the next day. He's a complete different person from the Adrian I knew before.

I tapped my pencil on my chin. The teacher in the front room scribbled notes on the blackboard, while we copied them into our note books. I was so preoccupied about Adrian I didn't even hear Brigit call me. She frowned and waved her hand in front of my face.

I blinked and looked up at her.

"Did you hear what I said?" I shook my head. "Sorry…I was thinking"

She sighed and sat on the desk beside me. "So what's the problem Brigit?" she smiled having my attention. "Well were having those history tests next week, maybe we can study together?" I thought. "Yeah that sounds like a great idea, Brigit" she leaned forward a little pleased. "So what were you thinking about Crispin?"

I blushed. "Oh; that nothing important." I smiled. The teacher looked at us both. "Don't interrupt the class" she fixed the glasses on her nose and frowned. We both nodded and apologized. The class of kids snickered in amusement.

The bell rang for next period; everyone gathered up there supplies, and made their way into the busy hallways. I went to my locker to put my history book away, Brigit followed me. There we ran into Adrian who was also putting his books into his locker. When he saw us both coming he quickly grabbed his backpack and left. Brigit was going to greet him but before she could he was walking away. She frowned. "What's his problem?" I loaded my book into my locker. "Maybe he's having a bad day?" I said as a joke. She smiled.

The relationship between me and Adrian was thinning. We were best friends, everywhere together, he was like family. But now that his personality began to modify, so did are relationship. He hardly wants to be near me, to socialize with anybody. I want to be there for him, so he knows he's not alone…but every time I do. He just pushes even more.

Brigit and I were sitting outside for lunch, when the topic of Adrian popped up. They never did seem to get along. "Today in English class he totally ignored me, and I heard from Emily that he skipped math class again!" I bit into my turkey sandwich listening to her. "He changed, Crispin he's like a stranger!" I nodded to agree with her. I swallowed a mouth full. "I never told anyone this…but he was thinking about suicide." I whispered. She gave me a shaken look.

"He what; why?" I chomped another bite before I spoke again. "He just says he can't stand himself, he never really told me the reason why" I crumpled up my trash. "Maybe family problems?" she thought. "Maybe" I agreed.

Adrian came outside from the exit. We both looked at him over our shoulders. "I think you should talk to him, Crispin" I looked at her. "It's not that easy" Adrian looked at us; we both turned quickly forward and he walked back inside. "If you don't talk some sense into him now or try and help him, I'm going to tell a counselor"

I shook my head. "Brigit you can't do that!"

She frowned "and why not? At least they can help him!"

"Just promise me you won't tell I'll talk to him!" she pouted. "Promise" we shook on it.

When I got home, I got on my computer and signed into my messenger. Adrian wasn't online, that means I'll have to go meet him. I sighed nervously. What am I so worked up for? We used to talk a lot, all night it'll be like old times I reassured myself. First I'll send a text message to let him know I'm coming.

Text:

"Adrian, I'm coming over. We need to talk." –Crispin- (sent)

I closed my phone and slipped it in my pocket. I left back out the house and ran up the street;

A couple streets down from my house sat Adrian's house. I came up to the drive way; made my way up the porch, and knocked on the screen door. His mother opened it and smiled. "Oh, hello Crispin, school have you busy? I haven't seen you in a month!" I smiled. "Yeah, uh I was wondering if Adrian was here, I need to talk to him" she thought "No, he still hasn't come home. I'll tell him you came by" I waved as I left. He must be some where I thought. I know for sure he won't have any clubs, he hates staying after school. I jogged to the park. No luck. I decided to text his phone again.

Text:

"Adrian, where are you?" –Crispin- (sent)

I'll have no luck on this search alone, so I called Brigit to help me. We both sat on a park bench and thought of all the places he could be. "Well, does he have a favorite spot?" she asked. "He loves to be in high places…the central bridge; his roof; the bluffs" she had a bothered look. "All sound dangerous"

We decided it would be best if we split up, I was going to check the bluffs, and she was headed to the central bridge. "If you see him, call me and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, and if I see him I'll text you" we both nodded.

Behind the park woods there hid the bluffs that towered over the raging water. I rushed to find the clearing, it felt like the trees where never going to end. But I made it gasping; I looked around quickly for Adrian; nothing.

I went to the edge of the bluffs and carefully looked down. What a fall that would be to meet jagged rocks. I backed up and started to search again. I looked over to the shore and discovered him lying across the warm sand. I went back through the woods, and found the shore.

I text Brigit I found him on the beach.

"Adrian!" I yelled as I ran to him. He looked up from the ground. "Crispin?"

The sun was starting to go down; it was a mixture of bright colors as the sky around it looked like it was caving in with darker colors. We both sat quietly watching.

"I…thought you were finally going to do it." I confessed. We didn't look at each other, but he smiled. "No…I'm too much of a coward remember?" I looked at the ground. "I want to know… the reason why you're like this, Adrian" my voice was more solemn. He was about to get up to avoid the question, but I grabbed his arm. "Adrian, tell me, I want to help you! I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong!" he jerked his arm but I held on. "You won't understand!" he yelled annoyed. "Try me; I'll understand…I'm not going to stop unless you tell me!" I frowned standing my ground. We both glared at each other,

I thought enough he was going to strike me. But instead he leaned his face over and kissed me. I was startled; it took me about a few seconds to figure out what just happened, and when I did I shoved him, he stumbled but caught himself before he fell over.

"There are you happy now? His voice trembled. "My problem is you Crispin, you made me like this, I'm in love with you, I'm jealous of Brigit, is that what you wanted to hear?" he yelled furious.

Brigit came from the woods and we both looked over at her. Adrian's face turned red, being exposed of his deepest feelings. He bolted off into the woods;

I touched my mouth. "He…he kissed me" I was still shocked.

Brigit made her way to me. She lowered her head. "I saw the whole thing"

I was confused on this subject and didn't know how to react.

The next day at school, Adrian didn't show up; Not a surprise.

At lunch Brigit brought him up again, this time we were both behind the school. Just to be sure no one would over hear us talking. "I think you should talk to Adrian, not only does he have issues…but to top it off, he's gay!" I leaned up against the buildings wall for support. I sighed. For some reason, it feels like she's blaming me.

She looked up at me from the floor she sat on. "Nothing should change between you guys, just because one is out the closet, you're his best friend Crispin. You're all he has left."

She was right, Adrian was there for me, and now that he's in deep water, I can't just let him drown. "Okay, I'll see what I can do" I replied. So my goal has changed, from trying to figure out Adrian's problem, to help him cope with himself.

All day I was thinking about what he said, it kept replaying in my head, like a movie. "I'm in love with you, I'm jealous of Brigit" his voice echoed in and out of my thoughts. I laid my head down. Why does this have to happen to me? I sighed.