Ophiuchus Side-Stories:
A.C. 163
.:I:.
Once upon a time, in a country not so different from the one you are from, little one, there lived a King very much like what you might be some day.
He was handsome, blond, and as arrogant as he was charming. By the time he was sixteen, he had collected notches from every eligible woman at his court, and even some of the ineligible ones, so it was not entirely surprising that the first words out of his perfect princely lips when his advisors told him he was to be wed were…
"How well-endowed is she?"
"Deutschland currently grosses one hundred and thirty-two thousand universal credits per capita, your majesty, Kaiser Catherina is one of the wealthiest women on earth right now…"
"No, Lucius you nerd," Byron sighed, adding another dab of polish to his prized hunting rifle. "I mean, how well-endowed is she?"
Lucius stammered and turned an interesting shade of strawberry.
The delicate task of informing his majesty of his upcoming marriage had trickled down to the King's sad little librarian through a system of political re-delegation. Possibly, the Chief Ministers and Stewards thought their hot-blooded young sovereign was less likely to shoot the messenger if the messenger was as phenomenally pathetic as Lucius Darlian. He prayed they were right.
"Well?"
"Well I… uh… ah… I don't know, your majesty… none of the data I've been charged with mentions the Kaiser's ah… personal statistics…"
"Oh. Don't worry, I'm sure you can find that out for me soon enough," Byron concluded brightly.
He was being dismissed. Lucius let go of the breath he had not realised he had been holding and scrambled for the door with as much dignity as a nervous small animal could muster escaping from the jaws of certain doom.
The ministers and stewards will not be happy, but over all, Lucius thought it went rather well. No-one lost any ears, for a start. And if they'd expected any more than that from Byron Peacecraft the Third, then they should have brought the matter to him themselves.
"And Lucius,"
The librarian froze, too anxious to be surprised.
"While you're at it, find out why a great nation like Deutschland would want to marry their empress off to little ol' us, won't you?"
…
A/N: Placed between chapter 2b and the upcoming chapter 3 of my other fic "Ophiuchus: The Secret Life of Gardenias" in authoring timeline, but readable in any order of your choice. And yes, chapter 3 to SLG is coming. That's a promise.