25 Year-Old Virgin—"A Little To Not Over You"
"James, James stop," I begged as he kissed his was down my torso, "I can't do this."
"Why won't you just have sex with me?"
"I'm not ready," I told James as I put my dress and shoes back on and looked down at my feet.
"You're twenty-five years-old! How the fuck are you not ready?"
"I don't love you! I'm still in love with someone else!" I spat out and instantly regretted saying. James flinched at my words, "So this relationship has never been real for you? You know what, that's fan-fucking-tastic! I'm done with you, just get out."
"So are we breaking up?" I asked in a solemn tone.
"Yes, now leave."
"Okay, I'll bring your stuff back tomorrow." As I walked out of his apartment and to my car, I couldn't muster up an ounce of sadness inside my body. I was ecstatically happy, I don't love James. To be completely honest, I'm still in love with my high school AP English teacher Ezra Fitz.
Ezra and I met each other at a bar the day before I started my junior year. We clicked instantly. When we found out he was my new teacher, we attempted to end the relationship, but we couldn't hide our feelings for one another. At the end of my junior year, my mother thought Ezra was in a relationship with one of my best friends, Spencer. She told him to get the hell out of Rosewood, and Ezra did exactly that. I called, texted, and emailed Ezra everyday for the next week, but I never got a reply. I didn't know where Ezra was, or why he left without telling me goodbye. However, I soon found out why he left Rosewood so abruptly. When my father came home from work one evening, he told us that Ezra Fitz had resigned without a reason as to why. That is the night I found out exactly what my mother had done, and that is the night I told my parents that I was madly in love with Ezra Fitz. They were upset, but there weren't angry because I couldn't see him anyway now that he was gone. After two more weeks of attempts at talking to Ezra, I gave up. I gave up on him, I gave up on relationships, I gave up on family, and I even gave up on my friends. I was numb on the inside. I threw myself into my schoolwork, and lost focus on anything else. I got accepted into Yale, Harvard, and UCLA, but I decided to go to NYU instead. I needed a fresh start and I figured living a big city where no one would know me was the perfect solution. I met James in my freshman year and Ezra was the first thing that came to my mind. James liked old movies, loved literature, and had the same dark curly hair as Ezra. In our sophomore year of college James asked my out and I said yes. I thought it was time to try falling in love again, but I never fell in love with James. Even though James reminded me so much of Ezra, he was too different to ever compare. The little things about Ezra like his boyish smile, his lack of cooking skills, and his caring nature could never be met by James. Every time James tried to have sex with me, I stopped him. To be honest the only person I imagined giving my virginity to was Ezra, and that still hasn't changed. So here I am the 25-year-old virgin, who is still in love with her high school English teacher.