This is my first fic, so if you don't like it please try and restrain yourself from acts of physical violence. If you feel, however, that I deserve to be harassed, insulted, or (shudder) given a bad review, go crazy.
This is the first in a series I'm working on called the "QUINN CAN THINK" series. Don't worry, I haven't gone completely insane, it just seemed like a good idea at the time and I'll be !@#$%!# if I'm going to stop now. Personally I find the idea of an intelligent Quinn both unlikely and a little scary.
CALL OFF THE LAYEWRS!!!
Daria and all related characters are property of MTV (EVIL) and Viacom (DITTO). Daria was created by Susie Lewis Lynn and Glenn Eichler. There now you can't sue me.
I'll have to thank/blame Canadibrit here because TLAS was the thing that got me obsessed with Daria fics in the first place.
Timeline: All of this takes place just after IIFY.
Opening sequence. CU: stereo. Music starts playing, some piece of garbage by some boy band, take your pick. Hand enters from right of screen and hits stereo. Music stops and is quickly replaced with "You're Standing On My Neck" by Splendora.
Scene: Living room. Quinn is on the couch reading a large book. Daria walks by and glances at Quinn then continues on her way to the kitchen. After a couple of seconds Daria backs out of the kitchen and looks at Quinn with a barely concealed look of surprise.
Scene: classroom. Quinn is trying to read while the rest of the Fashion Club sit around her and appear to be having a heated discussion about nail polish or some damned thing. Quinn begins to look very annoyed.
Scene: Pizza King. Daria and Jane sit on one side of a booth talking and eating, pan over to show Quinn seated across from them looking very much at home.
Another shot of the stereo, pull back to show that it is in Quinn's room. CU of hands pulling the sheets off of the bed, sweeping across the Temple of Groom and Spilling most of the makeup into a waiting wastebasket, painting over the pink walls with black paint, hands (now with black sleeves) are holding a smiley face pillow and a stapler in one hand and a can of red spray paint in the other.
Scene: LHS hallway Sandi looks livid and is yelling in Quinn's face, suddenly Quinn punches Sandi she is out before she hits the ground. Pan over to show Daria and Jane applauding, Quinn takes a bow.
Scene: Quinn's room again. CU on smiley face pillow, which is now stapled to the wall with a red circle around it and a line painted through the circle. Pull back to show Quinn standing in the middle of the room looking very pleased. Daria is standing in the doorway with an approving smirk on her face.
Zoom in on Daria then pull back to show Daria logo.
Daria in:
Quinn OS: Hey!
Daria & Quinn in:
Depth Becomes Her
By Moonlighter (a.k.a. Huggy)
Scene: Morgendorffer kitchen. Daria is sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Quinn enters looking eager to hurt someone.
Quinn: Hey Daria.
Daria: Morning Quinn. (sighs) There, my family duties are done for the day.
Quinn: (halfhearted) Very funny Daria.
Daria almost looks concerned at her sisters lack of enthusiasm, then shrugs and seems to decide she doesn't really care that much.
Helen walks in and notices Quinn sulking at the kitchen table.
Helen: Quinn honey, is anything wrong?
Quinn: No mom. Everything is just great. I am well on my way to being ostracized from the Fashion Club because of that stupid tutor you hired and Sandi is busy telling everyone that I'm some kind of brain. But other than that I couldn't be better.
Helen: Oh, come on now. Surely your friends won't abandon you just because you happen to be a little smarter than they are.
Quinn: (whiny) Are you listening at all? I was being sarcastic and I used the word 'ostracized'. Ohmygod, I am turning into a brain. (runs from the room crying)
Daria: Quinn's turning into a brain, yeah, and I'm the next Cindy Crawford.
Helen gives Daria a nasty look.
Scene: sidewalk. Daria and Jane are walking to school, Daria is in mid-rant.
Daria: So now she's afraid she's turning into some kind of intellectual.
Jane: (overacting) The horror! The horror!
Daria: Could you take this seriously for a second?
Jane: You can take it seriously if you want, but it gives me a headache.
Daria: I am serious. I think there may be more to this than just Quinn being called a brain.
Jane: What are we talking here? Worldwide conspiracy, something like that?
Daria: (bemused) Not quite.
Jane: Damn! One of these days I'm going to get involved with a conspiracy, (evil smirk), even if I have to start it myself.
Daria: Down girl. (back to the conversation) No, I just think Quinn may have some doubts of her own about whether or not she still wants to be a fashion zombie.
Jane: What gives you that idea?
Daria: You've heard the Fashion Club talking to each other before right?
Jane: Unfortunately.
Daria: Well, if the only issue were Quinn being called a brain she would just ignore the whole thing and try to change the subject. No more problem.
Jane: But...
Daria: This time it really is bothering her. (getting to the point) What if Quinn actually has something resembling intelligence? What if she's noticed what a vacuous snob she is and doesn't like it?
Jane: What? Princess Grace is having an identity crisis?
Daria: As much as I hate to admit it Quinn and I are sisters. We must share some genetic info, maybe she has a little bit of depth that hasn't died of Waif poisoning.
Jane: You realize that if your theory is right you may be a little bit like Qui...
Daria: (cutting Jane off) Don't say it. I've already had that nightmare.
They walk in silence for a minute.
Jane: Okay, let's say your theory is correct. How would we go about proving it?
Daria: Think about it. Listen to the Fashion Drones can make anyone with even the slightest amount of intelligence go postal. It may just be a matter of time.
Montage: "Freak On A Leash" by Korn plays. (the montage is not limited to but includes these scenes)
Scene: Demartino's class. Quinn is sitting in her desk reading a book and the fashion idiots are talking all around her, Quinn is starting to look a little annoyed.
Scene: LHS hallway. Quinn is looking at a bulletin -board; on it is an announcement for tutoring sessions. Sandi walks up to Quinn and taps her on the shoulder clearly angry that she has delayed their trip to the mirror in the ladies room. Quinn follows Sandi offscrean.
Scene: Ladies room. FC stands at the mirror putting on their makeup. Quinn looks at a clock on the wall and runs out of the room in a hurry.
Scene: FC minus Quinn enter O'Neal's room late and see Quinn already at her desk.
Scene: DeMartino's room again. Quinn is still trying to read while the fashion drones talk around her, the earlier look of annoyance is starting to look more like anger.
End montage.
Scene: still DeMartino's room. Students are leaving in a disorderly line.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, may I talk with you for a moment?
Quinn: Ah, sure.
Sandi: (while leaving, sounding like a b!@#h as usual) Bye Quinn. I'll save you a spot at the mirror unless you're too busy with your studies to join us.
DeMartino waits until everyone has left, then speaks to Quinn in a more subdued version of hi usual menacing tone.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, I want to talk with you about your grades.
Quinn: But I've been trying...
DeMartino: (cutting her off) I know you have and that's why I'm so concerned. Years of experience have taught me that while a student who actually tries to do their work is rare, one who still gets mediocre scores is almost unheard of. Unless there is some outside influence, making things harder for the student.
Quinn: (already knowing what he's going to say) And what's that?
DeMartino: Well, Ms. Morgendorffer, I've looked at the grades for some of your other classes and I must say I was very surprised. In my class you barely have a C, in English you have an 85, in Science you have a 90, and in Economics you have a 92.
Quinn: Yeah?
DeMartino: This news came as quite a shock to me, I couldn't understand why you do so badly in my class and then get grades I would expect from your sister in the others. That is until I took a look at the seating charts for your classes. You are in the same English class as your friends from the Fashion Club, but you sit two rows away from them. You share the same Science class with Ms. Stacy Rowe, but that doesn't seem to have done much harm to your grades. None of your friends from the Fashion Cult are in your Econ. class and you have one of the highest grades in the class. Then there's my class where you sit with all of the members of the Fashion Club and are barely passing. You do notice the pattern here, right?
Quinn: Um, yeah.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, I'm going to be frank with you. If you continue to associate with the morons you choose to call your friends, you will fail this class! I know that for some reason you enjoy their company, but it would seem that they have the same effect on your intellect as a bullet in the head!
Quinn: That's not really fair is it?
DeMartino: It may not be fair, but I don't think you'll argue with me about whether or not it's true! You can go to your next class now.
Scene: Pizza King. Daria and Jane sit at a table with a pizza between them.
Jane: So have you heard anything from our possible new recruit?
Daria: Well, Mr. DeMartino said something about her needing to work on her priorities and me being some kind of a role model for her or something, but that's about it. And just because we've seen signs of intelligent life in Quinn's head doesn't mean she's going to be like us, for all we know she could turn into another Jodie.
Both of them shudder at the thought of two super-students in one school.
Enter Quinn. She walks over to Daria's table and seems like she wants to say something.
Jane: (to Daria) Don't look now but there's a popular person looking at you.
Daria: (making sure Quinn hears) You think we can make a run for it?
Quinn: Daria quit joking! I need to talk to you.
Daria: (to Quinn) Oh, hello, I didn't see you there.
Quinn: (getting p!@#$d) Okay Daria, I get it! You're smart and sarcastic; I'm shallow and narcissistic! Now that that's been established can I talk to you?
Daria: Sure, just remember you called yourself shallow; so don't be upset if I concur.
Quinn: (to Jane) Um, Jean, could you go do something else for a while?
Jane: Are you talking to me? 'Cause I could've sworn you just said Jean, and since that isn't my name I just assumed you were talking to someone else.
Quinn: Ah! Fine, I also suck at names. Could you leave already?
Jane gets up.
Jane: I've got to go to the restroom anyway. You should have plenty of time after I drank six Jolt Colas. (Jane leaves)
Quinn: Eww! Why do you two always talk about gross stuff like that?
Daria: We only talk about stuff like that when your around, as soon as you leave we whip out the fashion mags.
Quinn: The only thing you would ever do with a fashion magazine is draw mustaches on the models.
Daria: That's not true. We also make fun of their names. So what was it you wanted to talk to me about so badly that you would risk being seen with a fashion-don't at a pizza place?
Quinn: (sheepish) It's about school.
Daria: The rooms full of students are called classes, and those square things with the writing on them are books.
Quinn: I'm serious Daria! I've got a real problem and I don't know what to do!
Daria: (sighs, gets 'damned conscience look on her face) Okay Quinn, what's the problem?
Quinn: (warp speak activated) After mom hired that tutor guy I got kind of interested in some of the things he told me about. So I read about it and I asked questions and stuff like that, and I actually started to like doing that stuff. But now that I'm back in school and I have to be around the Fashion Club all the time I can't learn anything because they would think I was a total brain and even if they didn't I wouldn't be able to talk to them about this kind of stuff because they'd have no idea what I was talking about. So I'm starting to wonder if...
Daria: If...
Quinn: What if I'm too smart for the Fashion Club?
Daria: Do you think you're too smart for them?
Quinn: It's like I said before. Sometimes I'd see myself talking to them and wonder if they had anything intelligent to say, but it was okay because that just kind of turned into this white noise. But now every time I hear them say something like that it's like it bounces around in my head and I just want to scream. I mean can't they talk about anything besides boys and cars and makeup and jewelry? Can't they just once talk about something that actually matters!?
Daria: (a little stunned) Well, those things do matter to them. You just happened to notice that there are things other than fashion to occupy your time. (not sounding like she really believes this) I'm sure that if the other people in the Fashion Club had these things pointed out to them they would have the same reaction. As to whether or not you're too smart for them, I would have to say yes. You're no genius, but you look like one compared to Sandi and I'm pretty sure Tiffany was hit on the head as a child.
Quinn: What about Stacy?
Daria: She doesn't count.
Quinn: Why not?
Daria: In order for me to guess a persons intelligence that person has to be capable of independent thought.
Quinn: Okay. So basically what you're saying is that I would get along fine with the Fashion Club if they were all a little bit smarter and occasionally thought of something other than themselves.
Daria: Right. (Quinn starts crying) What?
Quinn: That's never going to happen.
Scene: same, later. Jane is back, now sitting next to Daria.
Jane: So, what happened while I was gone?
Quinn: I asked you to leave so you wouldn't overhear, remember?
Jane: Oh really? I could have sworn you asked Jean to leave. Wait, where is Jean?
Daria: That confusion about your name really bothers you doesn't it?
Jane: You don't like her telling people you're her cousin, I don't like her not being able to remember my name. Quinn, for such a popular girl you sure do have a lot of annoying habits.
Daria: Popularity is an annoying habit. Maybe some day there will be a patch for it.
Jane: Or maybe you could just have someone beat the crap out of the popular people until they decide to do something a little safer. (to the looks) What!?
Quinn: (to Daria) If you're going to keep hanging around with her it may be a good idea to keep the police on speed dial, (pause) or at least a good psychiatrist.
Jane: A sarcastic comment from Princess Grace? Maybe there's hope for you yet!
Scene: Daria's room. night. Daria is laying on the bed with a notebook open in front of her. She's writing.
Daria (writing VO): Something odd happened today; Quinn actually made sense a couple of times. I know it's hard to imagine, but she actually seems to have matured a little over the summer. I think her Fashion Club days are over. I'm amazed at how much she's changed in such a short time, and to think all this time I've been trying to inspire a little depth into Quinn when all she needed was for someone to get her curiosity going and the rest was just some giant chain reaction. I don't think I'll ever admit this in public but there were a few times today when I actually enjoyed her company. Oh crap, now I'm going to have to burn this page.
There is a knock at the door.
Daria: Come in if you want, but there's no guarantee that you'll come out.
Quinn enters.
Quinn: Hey Daria.
Daria: Hey.
Quinn: I just wanted to say...
Daria: What?
Quinn: I had fun tonight. Do you think we could do it again some time?
Daria: Sure. I guess this means you're out of the Fashion Club, huh?
Quinn: Yeah, it's either that or slowly die of boredom. Besides I don't think I could stop myself if Sandi kept on about that whole brain thing. (doing fairly good Sandi impression) And prison uniforms are SO unfashionable.
Daria: (smirking) You know I think Jane's right, there may be hope for you yet.
THE END
Roll Credits. Music: "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine), I have no idea who sings this.
This is the first in a series I'm working on called the "QUINN CAN THINK" series. Don't worry, I haven't gone completely insane, it just seemed like a good idea at the time and I'll be !@#$%!# if I'm going to stop now. Personally I find the idea of an intelligent Quinn both unlikely and a little scary.
CALL OFF THE LAYEWRS!!!
Daria and all related characters are property of MTV (EVIL) and Viacom (DITTO). Daria was created by Susie Lewis Lynn and Glenn Eichler. There now you can't sue me.
I'll have to thank/blame Canadibrit here because TLAS was the thing that got me obsessed with Daria fics in the first place.
Timeline: All of this takes place just after IIFY.
Opening sequence. CU: stereo. Music starts playing, some piece of garbage by some boy band, take your pick. Hand enters from right of screen and hits stereo. Music stops and is quickly replaced with "You're Standing On My Neck" by Splendora.
Scene: Living room. Quinn is on the couch reading a large book. Daria walks by and glances at Quinn then continues on her way to the kitchen. After a couple of seconds Daria backs out of the kitchen and looks at Quinn with a barely concealed look of surprise.
Scene: classroom. Quinn is trying to read while the rest of the Fashion Club sit around her and appear to be having a heated discussion about nail polish or some damned thing. Quinn begins to look very annoyed.
Scene: Pizza King. Daria and Jane sit on one side of a booth talking and eating, pan over to show Quinn seated across from them looking very much at home.
Another shot of the stereo, pull back to show that it is in Quinn's room. CU of hands pulling the sheets off of the bed, sweeping across the Temple of Groom and Spilling most of the makeup into a waiting wastebasket, painting over the pink walls with black paint, hands (now with black sleeves) are holding a smiley face pillow and a stapler in one hand and a can of red spray paint in the other.
Scene: LHS hallway Sandi looks livid and is yelling in Quinn's face, suddenly Quinn punches Sandi she is out before she hits the ground. Pan over to show Daria and Jane applauding, Quinn takes a bow.
Scene: Quinn's room again. CU on smiley face pillow, which is now stapled to the wall with a red circle around it and a line painted through the circle. Pull back to show Quinn standing in the middle of the room looking very pleased. Daria is standing in the doorway with an approving smirk on her face.
Zoom in on Daria then pull back to show Daria logo.
Daria in:
Quinn OS: Hey!
Daria & Quinn in:
Depth Becomes Her
By Moonlighter (a.k.a. Huggy)
Scene: Morgendorffer kitchen. Daria is sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Quinn enters looking eager to hurt someone.
Quinn: Hey Daria.
Daria: Morning Quinn. (sighs) There, my family duties are done for the day.
Quinn: (halfhearted) Very funny Daria.
Daria almost looks concerned at her sisters lack of enthusiasm, then shrugs and seems to decide she doesn't really care that much.
Helen walks in and notices Quinn sulking at the kitchen table.
Helen: Quinn honey, is anything wrong?
Quinn: No mom. Everything is just great. I am well on my way to being ostracized from the Fashion Club because of that stupid tutor you hired and Sandi is busy telling everyone that I'm some kind of brain. But other than that I couldn't be better.
Helen: Oh, come on now. Surely your friends won't abandon you just because you happen to be a little smarter than they are.
Quinn: (whiny) Are you listening at all? I was being sarcastic and I used the word 'ostracized'. Ohmygod, I am turning into a brain. (runs from the room crying)
Daria: Quinn's turning into a brain, yeah, and I'm the next Cindy Crawford.
Helen gives Daria a nasty look.
Scene: sidewalk. Daria and Jane are walking to school, Daria is in mid-rant.
Daria: So now she's afraid she's turning into some kind of intellectual.
Jane: (overacting) The horror! The horror!
Daria: Could you take this seriously for a second?
Jane: You can take it seriously if you want, but it gives me a headache.
Daria: I am serious. I think there may be more to this than just Quinn being called a brain.
Jane: What are we talking here? Worldwide conspiracy, something like that?
Daria: (bemused) Not quite.
Jane: Damn! One of these days I'm going to get involved with a conspiracy, (evil smirk), even if I have to start it myself.
Daria: Down girl. (back to the conversation) No, I just think Quinn may have some doubts of her own about whether or not she still wants to be a fashion zombie.
Jane: What gives you that idea?
Daria: You've heard the Fashion Club talking to each other before right?
Jane: Unfortunately.
Daria: Well, if the only issue were Quinn being called a brain she would just ignore the whole thing and try to change the subject. No more problem.
Jane: But...
Daria: This time it really is bothering her. (getting to the point) What if Quinn actually has something resembling intelligence? What if she's noticed what a vacuous snob she is and doesn't like it?
Jane: What? Princess Grace is having an identity crisis?
Daria: As much as I hate to admit it Quinn and I are sisters. We must share some genetic info, maybe she has a little bit of depth that hasn't died of Waif poisoning.
Jane: You realize that if your theory is right you may be a little bit like Qui...
Daria: (cutting Jane off) Don't say it. I've already had that nightmare.
They walk in silence for a minute.
Jane: Okay, let's say your theory is correct. How would we go about proving it?
Daria: Think about it. Listen to the Fashion Drones can make anyone with even the slightest amount of intelligence go postal. It may just be a matter of time.
Montage: "Freak On A Leash" by Korn plays. (the montage is not limited to but includes these scenes)
Scene: Demartino's class. Quinn is sitting in her desk reading a book and the fashion idiots are talking all around her, Quinn is starting to look a little annoyed.
Scene: LHS hallway. Quinn is looking at a bulletin -board; on it is an announcement for tutoring sessions. Sandi walks up to Quinn and taps her on the shoulder clearly angry that she has delayed their trip to the mirror in the ladies room. Quinn follows Sandi offscrean.
Scene: Ladies room. FC stands at the mirror putting on their makeup. Quinn looks at a clock on the wall and runs out of the room in a hurry.
Scene: FC minus Quinn enter O'Neal's room late and see Quinn already at her desk.
Scene: DeMartino's room again. Quinn is still trying to read while the fashion drones talk around her, the earlier look of annoyance is starting to look more like anger.
End montage.
Scene: still DeMartino's room. Students are leaving in a disorderly line.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, may I talk with you for a moment?
Quinn: Ah, sure.
Sandi: (while leaving, sounding like a b!@#h as usual) Bye Quinn. I'll save you a spot at the mirror unless you're too busy with your studies to join us.
DeMartino waits until everyone has left, then speaks to Quinn in a more subdued version of hi usual menacing tone.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, I want to talk with you about your grades.
Quinn: But I've been trying...
DeMartino: (cutting her off) I know you have and that's why I'm so concerned. Years of experience have taught me that while a student who actually tries to do their work is rare, one who still gets mediocre scores is almost unheard of. Unless there is some outside influence, making things harder for the student.
Quinn: (already knowing what he's going to say) And what's that?
DeMartino: Well, Ms. Morgendorffer, I've looked at the grades for some of your other classes and I must say I was very surprised. In my class you barely have a C, in English you have an 85, in Science you have a 90, and in Economics you have a 92.
Quinn: Yeah?
DeMartino: This news came as quite a shock to me, I couldn't understand why you do so badly in my class and then get grades I would expect from your sister in the others. That is until I took a look at the seating charts for your classes. You are in the same English class as your friends from the Fashion Club, but you sit two rows away from them. You share the same Science class with Ms. Stacy Rowe, but that doesn't seem to have done much harm to your grades. None of your friends from the Fashion Cult are in your Econ. class and you have one of the highest grades in the class. Then there's my class where you sit with all of the members of the Fashion Club and are barely passing. You do notice the pattern here, right?
Quinn: Um, yeah.
DeMartino: Ms. Morgendorffer, I'm going to be frank with you. If you continue to associate with the morons you choose to call your friends, you will fail this class! I know that for some reason you enjoy their company, but it would seem that they have the same effect on your intellect as a bullet in the head!
Quinn: That's not really fair is it?
DeMartino: It may not be fair, but I don't think you'll argue with me about whether or not it's true! You can go to your next class now.
Scene: Pizza King. Daria and Jane sit at a table with a pizza between them.
Jane: So have you heard anything from our possible new recruit?
Daria: Well, Mr. DeMartino said something about her needing to work on her priorities and me being some kind of a role model for her or something, but that's about it. And just because we've seen signs of intelligent life in Quinn's head doesn't mean she's going to be like us, for all we know she could turn into another Jodie.
Both of them shudder at the thought of two super-students in one school.
Enter Quinn. She walks over to Daria's table and seems like she wants to say something.
Jane: (to Daria) Don't look now but there's a popular person looking at you.
Daria: (making sure Quinn hears) You think we can make a run for it?
Quinn: Daria quit joking! I need to talk to you.
Daria: (to Quinn) Oh, hello, I didn't see you there.
Quinn: (getting p!@#$d) Okay Daria, I get it! You're smart and sarcastic; I'm shallow and narcissistic! Now that that's been established can I talk to you?
Daria: Sure, just remember you called yourself shallow; so don't be upset if I concur.
Quinn: (to Jane) Um, Jean, could you go do something else for a while?
Jane: Are you talking to me? 'Cause I could've sworn you just said Jean, and since that isn't my name I just assumed you were talking to someone else.
Quinn: Ah! Fine, I also suck at names. Could you leave already?
Jane gets up.
Jane: I've got to go to the restroom anyway. You should have plenty of time after I drank six Jolt Colas. (Jane leaves)
Quinn: Eww! Why do you two always talk about gross stuff like that?
Daria: We only talk about stuff like that when your around, as soon as you leave we whip out the fashion mags.
Quinn: The only thing you would ever do with a fashion magazine is draw mustaches on the models.
Daria: That's not true. We also make fun of their names. So what was it you wanted to talk to me about so badly that you would risk being seen with a fashion-don't at a pizza place?
Quinn: (sheepish) It's about school.
Daria: The rooms full of students are called classes, and those square things with the writing on them are books.
Quinn: I'm serious Daria! I've got a real problem and I don't know what to do!
Daria: (sighs, gets 'damned conscience look on her face) Okay Quinn, what's the problem?
Quinn: (warp speak activated) After mom hired that tutor guy I got kind of interested in some of the things he told me about. So I read about it and I asked questions and stuff like that, and I actually started to like doing that stuff. But now that I'm back in school and I have to be around the Fashion Club all the time I can't learn anything because they would think I was a total brain and even if they didn't I wouldn't be able to talk to them about this kind of stuff because they'd have no idea what I was talking about. So I'm starting to wonder if...
Daria: If...
Quinn: What if I'm too smart for the Fashion Club?
Daria: Do you think you're too smart for them?
Quinn: It's like I said before. Sometimes I'd see myself talking to them and wonder if they had anything intelligent to say, but it was okay because that just kind of turned into this white noise. But now every time I hear them say something like that it's like it bounces around in my head and I just want to scream. I mean can't they talk about anything besides boys and cars and makeup and jewelry? Can't they just once talk about something that actually matters!?
Daria: (a little stunned) Well, those things do matter to them. You just happened to notice that there are things other than fashion to occupy your time. (not sounding like she really believes this) I'm sure that if the other people in the Fashion Club had these things pointed out to them they would have the same reaction. As to whether or not you're too smart for them, I would have to say yes. You're no genius, but you look like one compared to Sandi and I'm pretty sure Tiffany was hit on the head as a child.
Quinn: What about Stacy?
Daria: She doesn't count.
Quinn: Why not?
Daria: In order for me to guess a persons intelligence that person has to be capable of independent thought.
Quinn: Okay. So basically what you're saying is that I would get along fine with the Fashion Club if they were all a little bit smarter and occasionally thought of something other than themselves.
Daria: Right. (Quinn starts crying) What?
Quinn: That's never going to happen.
Scene: same, later. Jane is back, now sitting next to Daria.
Jane: So, what happened while I was gone?
Quinn: I asked you to leave so you wouldn't overhear, remember?
Jane: Oh really? I could have sworn you asked Jean to leave. Wait, where is Jean?
Daria: That confusion about your name really bothers you doesn't it?
Jane: You don't like her telling people you're her cousin, I don't like her not being able to remember my name. Quinn, for such a popular girl you sure do have a lot of annoying habits.
Daria: Popularity is an annoying habit. Maybe some day there will be a patch for it.
Jane: Or maybe you could just have someone beat the crap out of the popular people until they decide to do something a little safer. (to the looks) What!?
Quinn: (to Daria) If you're going to keep hanging around with her it may be a good idea to keep the police on speed dial, (pause) or at least a good psychiatrist.
Jane: A sarcastic comment from Princess Grace? Maybe there's hope for you yet!
Scene: Daria's room. night. Daria is laying on the bed with a notebook open in front of her. She's writing.
Daria (writing VO): Something odd happened today; Quinn actually made sense a couple of times. I know it's hard to imagine, but she actually seems to have matured a little over the summer. I think her Fashion Club days are over. I'm amazed at how much she's changed in such a short time, and to think all this time I've been trying to inspire a little depth into Quinn when all she needed was for someone to get her curiosity going and the rest was just some giant chain reaction. I don't think I'll ever admit this in public but there were a few times today when I actually enjoyed her company. Oh crap, now I'm going to have to burn this page.
There is a knock at the door.
Daria: Come in if you want, but there's no guarantee that you'll come out.
Quinn enters.
Quinn: Hey Daria.
Daria: Hey.
Quinn: I just wanted to say...
Daria: What?
Quinn: I had fun tonight. Do you think we could do it again some time?
Daria: Sure. I guess this means you're out of the Fashion Club, huh?
Quinn: Yeah, it's either that or slowly die of boredom. Besides I don't think I could stop myself if Sandi kept on about that whole brain thing. (doing fairly good Sandi impression) And prison uniforms are SO unfashionable.
Daria: (smirking) You know I think Jane's right, there may be hope for you yet.
THE END
Roll Credits. Music: "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine), I have no idea who sings this.