Disclaimer: I unfortunately I do not own Harry Potter or the characters from Harry Potter…If I did I'd be rich and probably be swimming in my indoor Olympic-sized swimming pool right now…or I'd be lying down being fed grapes by supernaturally good looking men…or I'd be doing exactly the same thing as I'm doing now and wishing there were some grapes in the house …It's all good!

Green-eyes and any other characters you don't recognize belong to me.

WARNING: This story is slightly bizarre...think Terry Pratchett on halluciogens :)))

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author/narration

thoughts

HIDE AND SEEK.

Draco knew it had been a bad idea even before he started playing; He even said so but was bluntly ignored.

Stupid people, just because I lost a match to the Gryffindorks. Stupid childish game anyway! I stopped playing this when I was three! Bloody Slytherins…I swear to Fey they're all turning into Hufflepuffs…next thing you know we'll be diving in front of hexes meant for puppies.

Hide and Seek. An interesting game, fun under most circumstances around your house, not so great when you live in a magical school called Hogwarts and you've been playing the game for several days in an almost literal jungle, a magical jungle at that.

None the less the Slytherins began to play; Blaise was counting inside the Slytherin Dorms. Seeing Pansy, Otherwise known as Pug... not that he'd ever say that to her... face run nimbly into the forbidden forest Draco quickly darted after her knowing she would get into some sort of trouble. 1st Rule of the Slytherins: Slytherin's look after their own no matter how criminally insane and/or depressingly thick they were. So (stupidly) he ran to catch her up. Not quite as easy as it sounded, she may have been an absolute bimbo, but when she wanted to do something she would sure as hell do it, in this case she wanted to run, and she wanted to run fast, so she did

How the hell does she run that fast in high heels?

Eventually Draco ran into her…literally… and found himself sprawled on the floor with a whimpering puddle of pug beneath him looking at a tiny cute looking spider.

Aww it's so cute! Wait...I did NOT just think that!

We all have things we are afraid of, Draco himself had a fear of heights…well not heights per say more a fear of falling and smacking into the ground…hard… and those really weird muggle things he had seen on 'teleevizon' …Teleetubbies or something like that shudder Gods were they creepy! But anyway Pansy's worst fear, after being caught with no make-up on, was spiders. She was terrified of them, though personally Draco rather liked them. After spending so many years exploring the dungeons, one tended to get used to the wee critters. So after sighing in exasperation he slowly got up and pulled her with him, gently turning his back on the spider. He walked away only to look back after a few steps to see Pansy jabbing at it viciously with a stick.

Stupid bloody bint.

She suddenly spotted Draco and ran to him screaming dramatically.

'It's huge! See it? The…the spider…its huge, spiders like you! Make it go awaaay'

Draco shook his head and chuckled softly; he grabbed her arm and led her away from the spider. 'It's more afraid of you than you are of it' he said soothingly…even the most fierce of dragons would piss itself with that ugly pug mug hovering over it, let alone a tiny spider!

Draco suddenly realised something that had only just registered in his mind…ah shit

'Um…where are we...'

She looked up for a second from the mirror which she was using to touch up her make-up, what the fuck? '…and why the hell are you putting on make-up when we are in the middle of The Forbidden Forest' Draco said the last part slowly hoping it would penetrate Pansy's ivory-from-the-teeth-upwards skull and hopefully permeate into that (much debated) brain of hers.

'Oh you know…those hunky centaurs' wriggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Merlin's. Fucking. Beard. . She has officially lost it. She is in the middle of the jungle thinking about bloody MEN, who have, may I point out, the back end of a horse attached to their waists! Why the HELL did I follow her!

After a few minutes (more like 20 actually) Pansy put away her mirror and looked at Draco who was sat irritably at the base of a rather comfy tree,

'Hey…did you just ask me where we were?' she asked slowly looking just about as sharp as a blunt quill…the end with the feathers.

'Yes…' he growled.

She stood for a moment with a look of extreme concentration on her face.

Shit!! Her head's going to blow!!!

'…then if I don't know where we are…and you don't know where we are then……OH MY GOD WERE LOST!!!' and started running around screaming.

No shit Sherlock….wait…that's a muggle thing…

(Half an hour later)

Gods, she is STILL screaming!

If she doesn't shut up soon I swear by all things Malfoy I'll…oh she's stopped.

Draco turned to check on his blissfully silent housemate to make sure she hasn't been mistaken for a screaming rodent of some sort and been shot by a centaur…not that at this moment in time he would have minded but…

'HA!!!!'

Draco was laughing too much to think straight.

'I can't believe you ran into a tree!'

Draco started laughing again holding his sides.

Ahh cramp! Damn do my sides hurt… but hee hee!

Pansy had bounced right off the tree onto the floor where she was now lying in an undignified heap nursing a large bruise on her forehead. Ahhh I just love trees.

I should probably help her up but the continuous screaming has given me a headache... plus I'm not feeling particularly generous today.

pouts glares

rolls eyes

God! She's worse than a rebellious toddler sometimes!

Pansy was rather ineffectively sulking in the middle of the clearing, her arms crossed, lips pouting, and nose in the air complete with an annoyingly repetitive sniffle…all because I couldn't stop laughing when she ran into a tree…hee hee… He still found that funny.

They were pretty weird sight, a pair of green eyes blinked in bemusement. The usually cold and indifferent blond was writhing against a tree giggling to himself and 10ft away a blonde with blue eyes and a bruise forming rapidly on her forehead sat on the ground sulking.

Slowly the green eyes twinkled in amusement and smile curved its usual frown into a perfect crescent of perfectly white sharp deadly teeth…

(AN: Cliffies suck winks)

…said owner of sharp deadly teeth blinked in surprise and irritation when someone interrupted it's dramatic moment of malicious leering by tapping it good naturedly on one of its many, many shoulders.

'You tapped?'

Green-eyes raised its forehead at the creature behind it (AN: Hey! Not all monsters are blessed with eyebrows you know.)

'Hi! I was just wondering if you would mind not standing on my tail' the funny creature smiled charmingly.

Green-eyes looked confused for a moment before looking down,

'Tail…?'

WHAM!

Green eyes fell to the floor unconscious

'And that's the end of my tale...my tall tale! Bwhahahahaaaaa!'

The weird creature stepped forwards and looked down upon the still laughing blonde.

'Hmmm yes…he'll be perfect'

This might end up only being a one-shot...depends on feedback (thats not a threat or anything lol) Is it ok? I've written it from a pretty wierd perspective but it seemed ok when I wrote it. Feel free to flame!