For Ianto every day was the same. Getting up, making coffee, shagging Jack, going home. He couldn't stand this live anymore. It hurted too much. The way he felt for Jack, lovely, always flirting, Jack.
Every time he saw Jack flirting, his heart broke a bit more. Every time he kissed him, he heard his beautiful voice flirting with everyone else, except him.
Part time shag that's what Owen called him and yes he was right. Jack meant the world to Ianto but Ianto was nothing for Jack. How could he fall for a man like that?
This morning Ianto made his decision. The hardest he had ever made.
Starting all over again.
Without Jack, without Torchwood... without his memories.
The whole day, he sneaked around, waiting for the perfect moment to get unnoticed the Retcon. He couldn't face the others. Gwen. So human Gwen, always complaining about her life and never noticing there are others in pain, too. Owen. To busy hating the job and everyone, to notice there are others too, who hate this job. Tosh. The only friend he had here, one more reason to avoid her today. And last and least Jack. Jack fucking Harkness, the man of his dreams, the man of his nightmares.
All he wanted for them today was going home, being happy and forgetting all about him, so he could forget all about them. Him.
Than, finally, everyone was gone. The hub was empty and so was his heart. Silent he stood before the Reton. It was so easy, just one or two little tablets and it would be over. He could go out and would never have to come back.
'Don't', said a voice behind him that made him jump.
'Jack? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be... elsewhere?'
'So you could leave me? Do you really think we are so stupid not noticing how strange you acted all day? Owen asked me to look after you, cause he was worried.'
'He did?'
'Why Ianto? Why?'
'I can't...' without hesitation he took the Retcon and glared at Jack 'I can't stand you anymore. Looking t me, touching me but not loving me.'
Sad Jack looked Ianto in the eyes, 'I'm sorry. I never realized how you feel, never thought you would want to hear it.'
'Hear what?'
'I... Ianto I love you.'
'Jack... you... it doesn't matter now anymore. I took the Retcon, I won't remember any of this tomorrow. Neither you nor your Torchwood.'
Jack just smiled at him. Carefully he pressed a kiss on his lips. 'Do you really think I would let the Retcon in my safe, if I knew how you looked at it all day?'
'What?'
'It's a candy you took, not Retcon.'
'Why? Why can't you let my go?'
'I love you Ianto. Please don't leave me.'
He kissed Ianto again and this time Ianto responded. 'I love you, too' he whispered in the kiss, 'I'll never leave you'.