AN: This is the first story I've posted, so reviews and constructive criticism would be much appreciated.
Constant
Lily Evans didn't like change. She had always craved stability, and in recent years, when her life had been in constant turmoil, this longing had only increased. But despite this, despite wishing and praying and doing everything in her power to maintain some sort of sameness, it seemed that this, the only thing she really wanted, was painfully elusive.
Her life had been boring and normal and wonderfully stable until the day she received her Hogwarts letter, that had been the first time that her life was turned upside down. Then it had been good and exciting, then she had not yet developed her hatred of change. But he had already been around. James Potter was there all through her gloriously problem free (or so it now seemed) first year. Constantly pestering her, tugging her hair, teasing he, shoving her, getting her into trouble, playing pranks….. And after that first year, when things began to go wrong, he was still there.
He was there when Petunia's rejection became evident, when she realized she didn't know her muggle best friend anymore, when they first realized her mother was sick, when her father was suffering from depression, when she first acknowledged that the gap between the magical world and the world that her family inhabited couldn't be bridged, when she found out the hard way that no amount of hope or magic could cure cancer.
In five short years these changes revolutionized Lily's life, and while in history (and infomercials) a revolution always seemed to effect change for the better, her particular revolution was most certainly non-conformist.
The life she had led before Hogwarts now seemed an unattainable dream in comparison to the nightmare that she daily faced, and he seemed to be the one thing in her life that the nightmare couldn't touch. Never failing to annoy her, never failing to pursue her, offering a constant supply of love that she hadn't realized she needed.
Their familiar banter was a safe have into which she could retreat, and which she came to rely on. Perhaps the most unwelcome change of her life came when this safety blanket was abruptly ripped away.
She had always been able to feel his love, radiating towards her, no matter how indifferent and skeptical she pretended to be. And when it stopped, she felt the loss the more keenly for it.
She knew immediately, on that last day Easter break in their 6th year, that James had stopped caring. It was nothing that he did, and everything he failed to do.
On entering the great hall, his eyes did not immediately seek her out. There was no rowdy reunion with the rest of the Marauders. He didn't pile food on his plate, or dig in with great gusto, as per his usual habit. He didn't crack jokes with his mouth full of food. He didn't steal a single glance at her all through dinner, nor did he run his hand through his hair. And she knew something was wrong, and she hated that she knew…. And that she cared.
James Potter had stopped. Stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped riding his broomstick, stopped paying attention in class, stopped playing pranks, stopped teasing Snape, stopped talking to his friends, stopped talking in general. He had even stopped giving a shit about Lily Evans.