Still Of The Night

Hermione Granger finished brushing out her hair and gave herself one last critical look in the mirror. The woman looking back at her wasn't an ugly woman, but she wasn't a raving beauty either. She sighed softly, perhaps if she were prettier, or maybe if her boobs were bigger, or her legs longer, her nose smaller, her waist thinner…

"Stop it, Hermione." She chided herself, giving her reflection a stern look. "None of these things matter in the grand scheme of life."

The pale lilac dress she had opted to wear with the black lace at the neckline and hem was a good colour for her. The style suited her, hiding the roundness of what Hermione considered a too big behind and too big hips.

Straightening her shoulders she left the bedroom quickly before she ended up staring at herself again and changing her outfit all over again. This was not the person that she generally was, she wasn't picky over her appearance, she didn't obsess over her looks, but today she couldn't help it. Today she was taking control of her life, gathering her courage to her and finally going to say the words that had been simmering inside her for so many years.

Grabbing her coat from the hook behind the door she glanced out of the window and nodded with satisfaction as the taxi pulled up to the curb of her house and beeped loudly. Swinging her bag over her shoulder Hermione left the house, giving the door a quick rattle to ensure it was locked and climbed into the back of the car.

"Where to?" The driver asked, he was big and burly, his voice deep and gravely and his chin sported a thick stubble.

Hermione settled back into her seat, fastening her seat belt with a click. "The Hotel Le Grande please."

The driver pulled off from the curb smoothly and Hermione busied herself by watching the streets and sights of London speed past her in a big colourful blur. She dug about in her bag for a tissue and wiped her sweaty palms carefully, she was pretty sure she had never felt so nervous in her life.

What would she say to him? How would she even begin to explain how she felt? This was totally out of her area of expertise. Hermione had no plan formed, no list or timetable to check over and she felt completely lost and out of her depth.

Her nose wrinkled with annoyance, not one of those women's magazines had helped as she had hoped they would. Not one of the problem pages had provided the answer she so desperately craved. Why didn't anyone tell you how to tell a man you were in love with him?

Especially a man who was close to you, who meant the world to you, who was your best friend.

Pulling her purse free from her bag Hermione opened it and stared at the picture tucked neatly and safely into the plastic covering. He smiled up at her, his dimples showing, his emerald green eyes full of mischief.

She sighed softly, tracing a finger over his face. Maybe after today she would be able to touch him like that for real, maybe he wouldn't mind. Maybe everything would work out.

And if it didn't?

"I can always wipe his memory" she muttered under her breath.

"Here you go, lady. The Hotel Le Grande." The driver announced pulling the car into the curb.

"Thank you." She handed him a twenty pound note. "Keep the change."

"Thanks, lady!"

Hermione nodded absently and slipped from the back of the car. Taking a deep steadying breath she marched up the front steps and through the large glass door into the brightly lit foyer. Her heels clacked on the polished wooden floor as she crossed to the reception desk.

"Welcome to Hotel Le Grande, how may I help you?" The middle aged receptionist greeted her with a smile plastered over her face.

"I'm meeting one of your guests for dinner. Mr Harry Potter. I'm Miss Hermione Granger." Hermione replied, her voice low and the toe of her shoe scuffing the floor nervously.

"Oh yes, Miss Granger." The woman nodded and clicked the mouse at the computer. "Mr Potter left instructions to say that you were to be shown up to his room. I'll just call a porter for you."

"His room? Oh no, I'm meeting him for dinner." Hermione said quickly.

Going to Harry's room would not be good for her. It wasn't neutral ground was it? It was Harry's room. How could she tell him she loved him with a giant bed in the room?

The receptionist was nodding. "Yes, I appreciate that you are meeting Mr Potter for dinner, but he has asked that you are shown up to his room."

Hermione shook her head, "No, um, I mean can't you just let him know I'm here and I'll wait at the table in the dining room for him."

The woman's blonde curls bounced vigorously as she shook her head, the false smile and bright, friendly tone slipping somewhat. "Mr Potter has left specific instructions with the front desk, Miss Granger,"

Panic overtook Hermione and she backed away from the shinning marbled topped reception desk. "If you'll just inform him that I'm in the dinning room." She repeated and quickly turned to her left where she had spotted the sign stating the room beyond was the dinning room.

Her heels clicked madly against the floor as she hurried over to the door, her fingers curled into fists, leaving tiny crescent moons in her palms. What was the matter with Harry? Why did he always have to dawdle with everything? She had specifically told him she would meet him at seven o'clock, why wasn't he waiting for her like he should be?

"May I help you Madam?" A tall man dressed in black tails and a crisp white shirt looked down his long nose at her.

"I'm here to meet Mr Potter, I gather he hasn't arrived yet, but would you show me to his table?"

"Potter you say?" The waiter said, running his finger down the length of a large book. "There is no mention of a Mr Potter in the book."

Hermione frowned, "But there must be. Mr Harry Potter."

"No Madam. Mr Potter has not booked a table with us this evening."

"But… but he must have." Hermione replied, staring stupidly at the man before her.

"He has not." The man informed her haughtily.

Rubbing at her neck nervously, feeling the red flush of embarrassment begin to creep up into her cheeks Hermione licked her lips. "Would you check again please?"

Unconcealed irritation flashed over the man's face; but being used to carrying out the wishes of others, he checked again in the book, with Hermione's chocolate brown eyes following his every move. He looked back at her, "No Madam, no table for Mr Harry Potter tonight."

"Today is the tenth isn't it?" She asked.

"Yes, Madam, it is."

Confusion pooling inside her mind Hermione smiled her thanks and turned away. Slowly she moved back to the receptionist. What was going on? Why hadn't Harry booked a table for them?

Smiling awkwardly at the woman behind the desk Hermione cleared her throat, "I wonder if you could let Mr Potter know I'm waiting in reception for him?"

"Certainly, Miss Granger."

Hermione stifled the urge to scowl at the smug tone and moved to sit herself on the soft white leather chair in the foyer. She watched the people coming and going while she waited for Harry. Picking idly at the skirt of her dress Hermione closed her eyes and tried to calm her erratically beating heart.

She had never been so nervous and frightened in her life. This was a different kind of fright to what she had felt during the war. This was a highly strung fright, a fright that made her stomach muscles quiver and her mouth turn dry.

The elevator doors opposite her pinged open a few minutes later and Hermione was sure her heart stopped beating. Harry stepped out into the foyer, he was wearing an expensive looking grey suit, and shiny black shoes. A green tie was knotted neatly at his throat and his hair looked a lot tamer than it usually did.

His green eyes lit up when he spotted her and he strode towards her talking on a mobile phone. Hermione couldn't help but notice that Harry turned heads. The scattering of women in his vicinity shot him hungry looks and even the men looked enviously at him. Harry no longer looked like the boy she had been at school with; his willowy frame had filled out a lot and now at twenty three he looked like a man. A very successful and confident man at that.

"…yes, yes alright if you want to." He said as he came nearer to her. "I don't think there's any need for that do you? These cars are brand new, only delivery miles will be on them….what? Yes, alright, if it will shut you up then fine, get your friend to give them the once over."

Hermione breathed deeply the scent of his cologne as he stood grinning down at her. She couldn't help but notice how the green silk of his tie emphasised the colour of his eyes. A light tan darkened his skin and his nails were neat and tidy she noticed as he raised a hand to rub his clean, smooth jaw.

"I have to go now, I told you I was meeting a friend for dinner…. Who? Hermione Granger from school, you remember me telling you about her?" Harry's cheeks coloured slightly, "Do shut up, Dudley. Good bye." He promptly flipped his phone shut and pocketed it quickly. "Hello, Hermione, sorry about that."

"It's fine, Harry." She leant over to hug him, and her face flushed when he kissed her cheek. "It's been ages since I last saw you."

"Yes it's been a while. I've been busy in the muggle world." He said in a low voice.

"You'll have to tell me all about it."

"I don't want to bore you with business details, Hermione. I'd much rather hear about you. Come on, let's get something to eat." He took her elbow and propelled her towards the dinning room.

"The waiter said you didn't have a table booked." Hermione told him quickly.

Harry stopped, "Oh yes. I knew I'd forgotten to do something today. Look's like we'll have to go out to eat. Do you mind?

Hermione laughed easily, "No of course not. Trust you, Harry."

Harry grinned, "Must have been having a Ron moment."

She laughed again, allowing him to lead her across the foyer to the front doors. They descended the steps into the cool night air and Harry paused. "Where to, Hermione? Anywhere special?"

"No." She told him firmly. "Nowhere special, I'll be happy with a bag of chips and a walk through the park."

"Sounds great."

They walked together up the street indulging in easy small talk about the weather and their health and Hermione soon forgot to be nervous around him. It was easy being with Harry and they slipped into each others company just as if they had last seen each other the day before rather than four months ago.

"I can't believe it's been so long since I saw you last." Hermione exclaimed following him into the fish and chip shop.

"Time just flies these days. Two bags of chips please and two can's of coke…"

"One diet." Hermione interjected making Harry laugh. "I know it won't make much of a difference with a bag of chips but it will make me feel better."

"I'm not arguing. Thanks." He paid for the food and they left the shop, wandering aimlessly into the park. "So, what have you been up to lately? I haven't heard off you in quite a while. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me."

Hermione sighed inwardly, there wasn't a hope in hell of her forgetting about Harry. She should know, she'd been trying to for four months; that was why she had kept her distance from him. Out of sight out of mind. It hadn't worked for her, not even a little bit.

"I've been campaigning a lot, trying to raise awareness for S.P.E.W and I've finished my job at the library. I'm working as a freelance writer for The Daily Prophet now. What about you? Was that your cousin I just heard you talking to?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, me and old Dudders get on great now. We're partners in a car company, in port and export. Dudley now wants to expand into our own line of garages. We'll have to look into that though. Business is great at the moment, and I have the added bonus of the wizarding world as well. I don't work in the world of magic at all at the moment though, I probably will very soon, but I wanted to escape the media attention for a while and try something new."

She smiled, "I'm so glad it's working out for you, Harry."

They stopped beside a large pond where ducks swam gracefully through the still surface. Sitting on a bench side by side they ate their chips as the sun began to sink lower in the sky, and the trees threw long shadows over the neatly cut grass and the gravel path.

It was a pretty, uncomplicated scene. The scent of the flowers perfuming the air, nothing stirred around them in the undergrowth of the park, as if all the little creatures that lived round and about could sense that she needed this time alone with Harry. Hermione had to admit this was the perfect setting to reveal her real feelings for him, what better time than this still and beautiful night with the sun setting and casting a rosy glow over everything?

"Can't complain, Hermione. Your still doing well though, I'll bet anything you'll be running the Prophet before long." He told her, nudging her playfully in the ribs.

Hermione looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Job wise I have no problems. But when one aspect of your life is going really well, another aspect seems to need a little boost. Have you noticed that?"

Harry frowned, his face scrunching up in confusion, "Um, well…."

"You look a little tanned, been anywhere nice?" She interrupted hurriedly.

Merlin what was she thinking? That was no way to bring around the subject of her complete love for him was it? She had to broach the subject carefully, feel out his reactions and responses. Hermione wished fervently that she had thought to write out a small speech for herself.

"Out to Australia, we have a business associate there. I stayed a little longer than Dudley did, I felt I needed to get away for a while. Try to forget…" Harry trailed off and lowered his eyes to his chips.

A sharp pain stabbed at Hermione's heart and suddenly she didn't feel like eating anymore. She doubted a double helping of chocolate cake would work up an appetite in her right at this moment. Of course he would still be upset over Ginny. They had split up over six months ago now, Ginny had left him and she remembered very well how cut up he had been.

She had been there for him though. She had been the friend she was supposed to be to him, but all the while she had ached inside knowing he sought comfort from her as a friend only. That he viewed her as a sister and not as the lover she so longed to be.

"Yes of course. I'm sorry, Harry. I expect it's still painful to think about Ginny." Hermione said in a small voice.

"Ginny? Oh no, I had an owl off her a few months back, she's met some French man through Fleur and she's thinking of moving to France. Good news huh?"

She looked at him in surprise. Harry certainly didn't look upset by this piece of news. "Oh, is she? I haven't seen her in a while."

"I know, she told me. Said she was really worried about you, she said that you had almost dropped off the face of the earth. Luna reckon she knew why though and she told Ginny and Ginny told me." Harry listed the names off on his fingers, nodding slightly to himself.

Hermione couldn't help but giggle. "Luna had a theory did she? Oh what was it, Harry? You have to tell me." She smiled widely at him, her eyes sparkling with unhidden mirth.

"Well, Luna said it was guilt." Harry said, turning his suddenly sharp eyes onto her face. "Luna said that you dated Ron because everyone, even you, expected it to be that way, so you went along with it. But you soon realised it was wrong and of course you ended it. Luna says that you feel guilty being around the Weasley's now, especially Ron and Ginny, because you've been in love with me for years, you just didn't realise it. She said that even after Ginny and I split up you still kept your distance because you hated the fact that you loved me when I was with Ginny. You felt guilty over loving your boyfriends best friend, and your best friends boyfriend."

Hermione sat frozen to the bench. Her wide, horror struck eyes were glued to Harry's face and she trembled uncontrollably. This couldn't be happening to her. Harry couldn't have just said those words as calm as you like could he?

She suddenly felt sick, and was extremely glad she was sitting down or she thought she might have collapsed in a heap on the floor. There was no strength in her, there was no motivation to do anything, not even to blink.

She just sat there dully, limp like a rag doll who'd had all the stuffing pulled from inside her.

Harry cleared his throat. "Well your not denying it, I suppose that's a start."

Hermione blinked slowly. She swallowed past her dry, aching throat and blinked again. "Start?" She croaked.

"You don't know why Ginny left me do you?" He tilted his head, examining her horrified face. "Because she knew something I didn't. Ginny knew I didn't love her the way I love you."

"Me?" Hermione managed to hiss the word disbelievingly.

"Well of course you. I admit I didn't realise it myself, but then I'm a bloke aren't I? We never see what's right in front of us do we? But now I know," he added grinning at her.

"You do?" Her voice was low, barely even a whisper.

"Hermione," Harry frowned. "I admit in the past we've had a lot of one sided conversations, but that did usually involved you doing the talking. Can you please say something that remotely resembles a sentence?"

"Um…."

"Not exactly what I had in mind, Hermione." Harry admitted, trying to keep his tone light.

"I just don't believe this." Hermione exclaimed, suddenly coming to life. "I've been worrying for over a week, since we made the arrangements to meet tonight about how to approach the subject. I've hardly eaten. I've gone through a hundred different ways I could tell you that I love you and all the different ways you could respond. I've been waking in the middle of the night terrified that I'll ruin our friendship! And then you go and drop it into the conversation just the way you would when asking about the weather!"

Harry blinked in surprise.

"You really are the most annoying man! I've been on pins all night." Hermione continued glaring at him, her frustration written clearly on her face. "When the receptionist at the hotel told me I was to go to your room I nearly died! The idea of being in a bedroom with you when I needed to tell you my deepest secret was just terrifying…"

A slow smirk spread over Harry's lips and Hermione stopped her complaining a suspicious look crossing her face. "What?"

He leant back against the bench surveying her with laughing eyes. "You really fancy me don't you?"

Hermione's cheeks flamed, "I do not." She replied, but she couldn't keep a straight face.

"Yes you do. You fancy me." Harry teased.

She laughed, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Stop it, Harry."

He laughed then, throwing his head back and really laughing. "Don't get all worked up about it. I happen to fancy you too."

"That's not the reason you gave as to why Ginny left you." She reminded him, turning serious again and biting nervously on her bottom lip.

"Ginny's not an idiot, she left me because she knows me. She saw what I didn't see but she was ok about it. She said she didn't want to be the one to ruin our lives." Harry told her quietly.

"Ginny said that?" Hermione whispered, tears springing into her eyes at her best friends gesture. It just made her feel even worse, made her guilt weigh heavier on her shoulders that Ginny had done what she had.

"So then I went away." He said, crumpling up the empty newspaper wrapping in his fist. "I didn't think you would love me, so I went away to get some distance. Spending all that time around you after the split wasn't good for my head, so I left. Tried to forget you."

Hermione was sure her heart had frozen in her chest. "Did you?" She asked, her eyes widening as she held her breath waiting desperately for his answer.

Harry turned to her suddenly, cupping her face in his warm hands he kissed her softly. "No."

She expelled her breath on one long, shaky sigh. "Thank Merlin."

"You and me," Harry said thoughtfully, "I didn't expect it, didn't see it coming. I always thought you would be with Ron and I would be with Ginny. I thought I wanted Ginny."

"Sometimes," Hermione replied wisely, "What you want isn't always what you get; but what you get is so much better."

"Couldn't agree more. Now everyone's happy." Harry told her brightly.

"Well I certainly am." She replied, closing the gap between them and kissing him again. "I've been waiting all night to say this; I love you Harry Potter."