Title: Too Late to Say Goodbye
Summary: Steve gets a phone call which brings bad news and self-doubt.
Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0 is not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.
Spoilers: Vague mentions of Season 1 episodes.
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Steve's phone rings just as we arrive at Side Street for lunch. Looking at the display, the SEAL frowns then says, "Go get us a table. I need to take this."
Danny's gut twists a little, but as he turns to continue walking towards the restaurant he offers, "Usual to drink?"
His partner looks up and nods as he answers his phone, "McGarrett."
About five minutes later, Steve walks in the door and Danny can see this face on him that he's only seen a few times before. The first time he ever saw it in fact was when his friend told him about the day his father died. The detective in him wonders if he should say something, ask what's going on, but given the way his favorite trouble-maker is so intently studying a menu he knows by heart, he decides to let it go for now.
After they return from a quiet lunch during which his friend barely eats and mostly picks at his meal, Steve shuts himself away in his office for the rest of the afternoon. Thankfully nothing new comes up and they have no open cases to worry about, because the Jersey native seriously doubts his partner would be able to keep his mind on the job.
At some point in the afternoon, the cousins both email him asking what is up with Steve, as if he's the go-to guy for understanding the man, but all he can truthfully say is that he doesn't know. But, he does encourage them to leave the big guy alone for the afternoon. And, he doesn't bother telling them his suspicion that someone Steve had known must have died recently.
Precisely at five o'clock, McGarrett comes out of his office and strides determinedly past all their offices and out of HQ. He disappears down the stairs before Danny can even attempt to catch up to him. Of course this situation has to happen on a day when they don't drive into work together. Not that he begrudges any morning that he got to spend time with his Grace taking her to school, but if they'd been driving together, then maybe he could've gotten his partner to talk about the obvious bad news he'd received today. Huffing out a dejected sigh, he goes back into HQ to face a concerned-looking Kono and Chin.
"I know," he says holding up a hand to prevent them from commenting on their boss' odd (even for him) behavior. "I'll take care of it. I'm just going to give him a little time to work off some of his current mood by swimming to, I don't know, Molokai and back before I attempt to talk to him."
"You let us know if you need any back-up, brah," Chin nods towards the exit Steve just stormed out of just a minute ago.
"Of course I will. Remember I'm the sane one. The one who follows procedure and actually wants and welcomes back-up!"
"We know, but you know how the Boss can get sometimes," Kono chimes in as Danny heads into his office to grab his keys and phone.
Heading past her he says, "Believe me, I do know." He stops walking and holds up a hand, "Which is why I'll be armed with lots of Longboards as a form of bribery and potential tongue loosener." He rubs a hand on his face and then resumes his trek towards the exit.
"Pomaika'i," Chin throws out.
"Thanks. I'm going to need it. See you tomorrow kids."
Danny arrives at Steve's house just after 7:30 that night armed with two six-packs of beer. He hopes he won't need all of them before his friend decides he could or would open up to him.
Walking into the house without knocking as per usual, he swears he can smell steak cooking nearby, and realizes he should've eaten before he came over tonight. He goes straight to the kitchen to put the beer in the refrigerator and finds Steve dishing up vegetables from a steamer onto two plates.
Wait a minute…two plates? How did he—?
"Steven?" he asks with a deceptively calm voice.
"Yes, Danny," he answers sounding slightly smug.
"How did you know—?" He waves a hand towards the plates.
"I know you saw my 'face' earlier today after that phone call. Thanks for giving me some space today, Danno."
"You're welcome, brother," he says smiling, pleased that he could help his friend in some small way. Changing the subject for now he inquires, "Was that steak I smelled when I came in?"
Grabbing the two plates off the counter he replies, "Yep. Grab us a couple of beers. We're eating out on the lanai."
After dinner and the clean-up, they grab a couple more beers and sit in the chairs down by the water. They didn't say anything for the longest time, just sat there relaxing while watching the moonlight play over the small waves as they gently crashed towards the shore. Steve didn't say much during dinner, but at least he ate more of his meal this time around. He can tell his friend's thoughts are far away so he stays quiet and remains a steady presence the man can lean on if he wants to.
Finishing his second beer, Danny stands up to get them both another one as Steve finally breaks his gaze off the ocean and starts fiddling with the label of the beer bottle. When he returns, he bends over to set Steve's beer down by his chair leg because it looks like his partner is still nursing his beer despite the partial destruction of the label. As he straightens up, Steve begins to speak so Danny settles back into a more comfortable slouch to listen.
"That call today," he pauses and looks down at the scraps of label in his lap before taking a drink of his beer. "It was from one of my ex-teammates. He called to let me know that one of our favorite professors that we had in common from Annapolis died this week."
"I'm sorry Steve," Danny breathes out not wanting to stop his friend from confiding in him.
Steve nods and falls silent anyway. Danny wants to say something, but his instincts are telling him to wait and let the SEAL get what he has to say out in his own time. Several minutes later, Steve drains his second beer and Danny hands him the third he'd brought out for his friend.
"Captain Nilson was more than my favorite professor; he was more like a mentor to me. He helped me out a lot when I first started at Annapolis, when I was still angry at my father for sending me and Mary away, for him missing out on our lives.
"Over the years I was at Annapolis, the Captain and I became great friends as well. We tried to keep in touch once I left, but when I finished SEAL training and was stationed overseas it became harder and harder. Oftentimes, we'd lose touch with each other for a couple of years.
"Through the grapevine about six years ago, I heard that he was sick and used my liberty to go visit him in the care facility he was in at the time. We caught up with each other and it was like we'd not ever been out of touch. We played poker long into the night for Jolly Ranchers and Dum Dum Pops – his favorite candies. God, he had such a sweet tooth!" Steve laughs and smiles obviously remembering that time with great fondness.
"It was the last time I ever saw him. After that leave, I didn't hear from him ever again." Steve's face changes to a look of disgust. "I got so caught up in my duty that I let myself… I knew from the scuttlebutt that he never really recovered and was sick due to one thing or another from then on. I didn't stay in touch or keep track of him and now it's too late to say goodbye.
"The funeral was a couple of days ago," he says trailing off and looking miserable.
"How come you're just hearing about it now?" Danny cringes for asking a question that would be well at home in an interrogation room.
"A lot of people I've worked with over the years apparently don't know yet that I'm back in the States or even back home on the Islands so my ex-teammate didn't know how to reach me until today." Steve lets out a frustrated growl. "I'm such a bad friend! I've been home for months now and it never even crossed my mind to call Shawn and see how he was doing!"
Steve lifts his bottle up and at first Danny thinks his partner is going to take advantage of the coolness of the bottle on his face to help himself calm down, but instead the idiot bangs it against his forehead, hard, several times as if he were punishing himself. Quickly snaking out a hand, the ex-Jersey cop reaches out to grab hold of his obviously emotionally overwhelmed friend's arm stopping the self-punishment.
"Hey! Stop that! What are you doing?" he frantically asks while pushing the muscled arm back down to the armrest. It only briefly occurs to him that Steve can easily get out from under his hold in a way that would probably be very painful for him.
"I should've kept in touch," Steve says enunciating every word.
"You think people haven't lost touch with each other after college before? Or the police academy," Danny motions towards himself then towards Steve, "Or in the military? Your friend knew you were a SEAL, knew what it meant to be a SEAL, the sacrifices you guys make. I think he understood exactly why you couldn't keep in touch and in no way thought you were a bad friend for letting protecting and saving God and county get in the way."
Steve makes a noise that makes Danny think his partner doesn't believe what he's said nor appreciated his poor attempt at humor. He grabs his partner's arm and emphatically says, "You are a good friend." He gives the forearm he's holding a shake when he sees that the disbelieving look is remaining on Steve's face.
"Hey. Look at me." A sigh escapes the SEAL's lips before Steve turns to look at Danny. "You want to know how I know that?" He pauses seeing a genuine expression of curiosity before him and mentally sighs at the fact that his partner could be so smart and yet so stupid at the same time.
"I know that because you're my best friend. The friend who knows my custody schedule almost better than I do. The friend who was there for me during and after that mess with my brother. The friend who lets me off of work to sort out family issues. The friend who got me shot the first day I knew him.
"Need I say more," he chuckles as he finishes speaking and lets go of his friend's arm but doesn't yet break eye contact. He's pleased to see a huge smile break out on his best friend's face at the mention of their first day together.
"When do you leave?" Danny asks.
Steve briefly looks shocked before his face morphs into one who is pleased or perhaps proud – Danny's not sure which and thinks maybe it's both.
"What?" he says in mock irritation. "You can guess what time I'd be over tonight but I can't guess that you'd want to pay your respects your friend?"
"It's a little scary sometimes how well we know each other, isn't it?" Steve asks with more than a little bit of awe in his voice.
Danny throws a random hand gesture into the air. "More than a little bit, actually," he replies with laughter in his voice. "So?"
"So, I leave first thing in the morning and will be back the day after tomorrow."
"You want a ride to the airport?"
Steve nods and says, "Thanks, Danno," hoping his best friend can hear in his voice that he's thanking him for so much more than just the offer of the ride to the airport.
He knows his message is received when Danny reaches out and pats his shoulder a couple of times before replying, "Anytime, babe. Anytime."
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"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." ~ Revelation 21:4 NKJV
Dedicated to my friend…
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Thanks for reading.
A/N: No beta on this one so all mistakes are mine. And, for reasons of privacy, a fictional name was used… Have a blessed day.