Remember To Breathe

Chapter One: What Dreams May Come

Author: Whitney

Date: 11-18-04

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible.
Mother Teresa

So there she was, Katie Miller standing in front of a full length mirror and not having a clue what to wear. Considering her fair complexion she came closer to the mirror. Like every young person her age, she picked and scrutinized her appearance. Hair was too blonde, she had large pores and her nose was huge. She frowned at herself. She was always so critical to herself, never happy with anything. Her body hadn't really changed over the years, her figure still trim and tall. Her face had a more mature glow to it though. She no longer looked naïve and somewhat impractical.

For the last three years she had kept her head in her books, never looking up to see what was in front of her. Never caring to see what was going to happen the nest day. Although she wouldn't ever admit it to anyone not even herself it seemed, but she lacked the passion she use to have. She had no idea either, the pain that had shown in her eyes every time she saw either a couple dancing or Cuban music playing. Her eyes would glaze over and she would feel the anguish run through her bones. It had hurt so badly for that first year, all the memories coming back constantly. But, even though she never got over it, the pain dulled after a while, went away sometimes.

Her parents had moved her and Suzy to New York the summer after they had left Cuba. Katie had always wanted to live in New York. She had thought maybe the bustle of the city and people could help get her minds off things. Things she wished to never talk about.

She never told anyone or said anything about Cuba or what she had left behind there three years ago. I mean considering the circumstances she couldn't just not lead normal life, she kept up in school and made sure she had fun while she was at it. Dating Patrick for the last year had been the proof she had moved on, everyone else was so convinced about it that she thought that her heart was too. When Patrick had asked her to marry him, she hadn't known what to say. Flattery ensued but Katie also thought, maybe being married wouldn't be so bad. The moment before she had said yes, she thought of someone she wished was really in Patrick's place at that moment.

Patrick wasn't a bad guy; he was actually socially and parentally expectable. Her Mom and Dad had exceptionally loved Pat; he seemed like her would be a great husband. Katie sighed and relaxed her shoulders, she felt like she was in a straight line in her life. After moving away from Cuba everything had been an emotional mess for her. Maybe now it was going to get better.

Hearing the door click, she turned around to see her blonde sister walk in with a chipper look on her tan face. Suzy charming smile always made Katie's heart warm. Suzy had gown up to be more mature but also beautiful. Her hair had darkened quite a bit, but she still had blonde streaks in it from the early summer. Katie grinned as Suzy sat down on bed, crossing her legs and looked at Katie.

"I can't believe he's taking you into the city to see a Ballet, what kind of a one year anniversary is that...?" Suzy asked her sister, an almost mad look on her face.

"I know Suz, It's not like I can just say no to it...he's trying to be sweet. I just-"

"O be quiet, I know what you're going to say." Suzy frowned at Katie as she tucked some of her long hair behind her ear. Suzy looked at Katie as Katie walked over to her closet and grabbed one of the other dresses out, it was red with black lace around the middle.

"Yeah wear that one, I like that one. It's really pretty; you always look good in red..." Suzy replied trying to make the atmosphere more pleasant.

Suzy looked at her sister painfully; she knew how much Katie missed Cuba. The summer had just started a week ago for the both of them and already Katie was so caught up in making plans for her wedding in the fall. Katie was becoming sleep deprived already and seem like she needed a break. Suzy needed something for her sister, before she started school again. She had always had the perfect idea of what to do for her but never really gotten down to it. Also it would take a ton of convincing to get Katie to do it.

Rightfully so, Suzy hated Patrick. No, hates not the right word...Hated with a passion more like it. He reminded her so much of James Phelps it was sickening, dark chocolate hair and piercing eyes. His eyes were almost to convincing. He also sweet talked too well also, he had her parents wrapped around his fingers. Katie was so blind to it all; she had been blind to everything. You think being the older sister Katie would see but Suzy from afar was probably the one most clued in.

Suzy could remember the nights a year ago when Katie would scream out Javier's name when she was dreaming. Suzy would come rushing in to see a sweat soaked Katie and help bring her back to reality. Katie had never told Suzy about her dreams, she never wanted to. More or less they were nightmares than dreams.

Suzy watched Katie go the bathroom to put her dress on. Katie needed to be reminded of something. Suzy glanced over to look at her sisters silver vanity mirror sitting on her dresser. Nest to her mirror laid a picture of Katie and herself in Cuba. She always kept the pictures of her and Javier hidden. So they would bring back memories. Suzy just couldn't watch Katie throw her passion away. Her passion for life that she once had, it hurt to see Katie at her worst.

Patrick wrapped his strong arms around the beautiful woman standing in front of him.

She leaned into his chest as he embraced her. The ballet had been nice. The dancers were amazing; they did an interpretation of Shakespeare's Hamlet. It was quite good.

Katie looked up at Patrick face. He had sharp features and stunning green eyes.

She longed to look up and see soft brown eyes. His eyes had been fiery, understanding and soft all at the same time. Patrick seemed to lack the passion that Javier had possessed.

Even though Javier had only been nineteen at the time he could still have probably made any woman's heart quiver.

Smiling reassuringly she kissed Patrick plainly on the lips and grabbed his hand. The New York Summer heat was starting to get to her. Sweat formed on her light brow. Her long shoulder length blonde hair was tied up thankfully.

"Thanks for dinner tonight and the Ballet, I really enjoyed it." She said as she turned to Patrick.

"Of course, you deserved it, for putting up with me all this time." He grinned at her and she flashed him a weak but convincing smile. She let her smile fade as she looked up towards the night sky then back down to her gloves. She slipped over her black lace gloves that matched her dress. She took off her left one then looked at her ring. It was a simple gold band with a small diamond hard-pressed into it. The ring was beautiful, but Katie started to hate it. She would never become disloyal though. She just couldn't do that to someone; break Patrick's heart like that.

Katie sighed and glanced at Patrick as they walked down the city streets.

Patrick giving Katie a loving look, "Honey we better get a cab. It's getting late. I don't want you to get home to late; I'm leaving for Chicago in the morning for a meeting. I'll be back on Wednesday of next week..."

"I know Pat, I'll miss you while your gone." She leaned in and kissed him tenderly, "your right, we better get going..."