Disclaimer: I don't own Persona 3
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Is there a God?
I ask myself that sometimes. I wonder if a God would allow us to suffer pain like this.
Pain. It seems like that's really all I know these days.
I never know how often I'm supposed to take those suppressants. I don't know how much is too much. They didn't exactly come over-the-counter with a warning.
It's funny how I'm able to come up with a gag like that when I've got blood spewing out of my mouth and over my fingers. The fits are getting more and more frequent now. Sometimes it's just a couple of coughs, a few spatters of blood. Sometimes it's full-out vomiting, with that awful dark red color everywhere, and the feeling like I have razor blades in my lungs.
It's worst when the fits happen when we're out in the Dark Hour. It happened to Jin once. I had to carry him back. He was nearly eaten. It happened once to Chidori, poor Chidori, while we were fulfilling one of our assassination contracts from Jin's website.
Somewhere through the haze I hear Jin calling. I hear Chidori screaming. It's very faint. Y'know how your hearing gets really faint in crisis? It's like that now.
There's a hand on my shoulder. I wrench it off. The pain returns. I keel over and retch again. The blood's starting to go over my tattoos now. My eyes water.
It's quite ironic. We have to force our Personas out, but the strain can make them try to kill us. The suppressants used to keep them in check are slowly fatal as well. It's like being stuck between the frying pan and the fire.
What was the Risk? I said. The World will end soon anyway. Will it really make a difference?
That was before I knew both pains that came with it: the pain of the drug's effects, and the pain of knowing your teammates, your friends, share the same fate.
We had the option of trying to fight off our Persona's ourselves. Instead, we chose what we thought was the easy way.
Is there a God? I know the answer now. There is a God. And this is our penance for our sins.
We are Strega. And we are damned.