Midoriya Izuku is suffocating. This is a fact that cannot be denied.

Dread is being forced down his throat, forcing him to silence, choking down the hysterical sobs that beg to leave his body. Quiet, boy, quiet. Nobody can know.

Oh, he has hope, of course, but his hopes will do him nothing to get out of this.

His vision is already blurry along the edges by the time help comes. Too blurry to comprehend the brilliance that comes to his aid.

Izuku passes out. When he comes back to consciousness, he has nothing with him but the words in his burnt notebook (burnt by the hands that never heal), the yellow backpack that lies on his stomach, and the clothes that cover his body.

By the time he regains his senses, the sun has already started to set. Crap, he thinks, knowing that his mother was probably pacing around the kitchen in worry. Izuku sets off to home, trying to put out of mind the sludge that tried pushing itself into every orifice his face had to offer. Trying to put out of mind the loud "SMASH!" that resounded through the quiet neighborhood when he was sure death was going to claim him. Trying not to think of the bench that someone had so kindly rested him on.

He worries at his lip. The moment he gets home, he rushes into his mother's arms. She's confused, but she quickly responds by squeezing him tightly. Izuku doesn't need fluid to gush down his throat for him to suppress distressed noises that threaten to escape his mouth.

Midoriya Izuku is okay.

(Midoriya Izuku is a liar.)

He doesn't hesitate to tell his mother what had happened. Why should he? His mom is his closest confidante. (That doesn't mean he tells her everything. No, there is much that Izuku does not dare speak of to her.)

Izuku cannot hide how he feels from her, no matter how hard he tries. After all, a mother always knows. His mother does, at least. It is because of this that he is wrapped tightly in a blanket, staring despondently at the television while it plays some news story or the other. A mug is clenched tightly in his hands, but he doesn't raise it to his lips. He isn't quite sure that he even remembered what is in his cup.

A familiar crop of spiky blonde hair jolts him out of his trance. Rather, the scalding hot liquid that spills onto his arm as he jumps in surprise does. The sound that leaves his body borders on a yell, and Inko quickly scuttles into the room, dabbing his arm with his blanket. "Izuku...", she starts, but his attention has already been captured by the news report.

"Civilians at Tatooine Station quickly fled the area when the situation escalated, as the Sludge Villain attempted to take a middle schooler hostage. The station was set on fire as the teenager tried using his quirk to escape. Pro heroes were fast to report to the scene, but found themselves busy trying to hold back the fires. Thankfully, the young boy, Bakugou Katsuki, managed to fight his way out with a well-placed strike to the eyes using his explosion quirk." The reporter speaks quickly, leaving the Midoriyas little time to process her words.

Izuku opens his mouth, the beginning of a word working its way out, before he hesitates. No words are spoken.

Izuku doesn't understand. Wasn't he there? Didn't he stop it? The villain? Why is it Kacchan? Why is it Kacchan? Why is it Kacchan on the camera? Kacchan, Kacchan, why Kacchan? It should have just been Izuku suffocating in that alley, alone and powerless. At least then, the villain couldn't have done much with his quirkless body. Instead, it's Kacchan with his powerful, powerful quirk. A hero-to-be with a future so bright should be untouchable. So why is it him up there on that screen?

Izuku can't help but feel as if he holds some responsibility for the situation. After all, if he just gave in to the villain and let his body be taken over, then there wouldn't be much that the villain could do. What could a villain do, possessing a body so weak? Izuku wouldn't have minded being an empty husk, if it meant the villain could do less harm. But no, instead, the villain found a better prize, and Tatooine Station was set aflame.

Izuku briefly thinks about the difference between himself and Kacchan. Kacchan, with his hands set alight, always ready to take on any challenge in the world and come out the victor. Himself, with hands constantly moving themselves in nervous gestures, head down as he cowers when faced by danger.

Izuku later looks back on his thoughts when he is in a more optimistic mood. He wonders why he only considered Kacchan a hero-to-be for a moment, and not himself too. My future is bright too, he thinks, the path will just be tougher for me!

It turns out that his optimistic line of thought is incorrect. There is no hero-to-be within him. Not when he is quirkless.

He finds himself anxiously checking the mail, to see if he passed the application process for Yuuei. With such a low acceptance rate yet so many applicants, there's only so many students they can allow to take the entrance exams. Izuku can only be hopeful that his application was at least accepted.

The day it comes, his world shatters.

Stopped before he can even try. Izuku laughs bitterly, tightly clenching the letter in his hands. He hears sniffing in the room, and has a belated realization that it is coming from him. Oh, Izuku thinks as he lifted two of his fingers up to his lashes, only for them to feel the terrible moisture on his cheeks.

Izuku is faced with the crushing realization that there was never a future for him. Never a future of a hero, at least. With the way that he always saw his future shining bright in a pretty light, though, any future that awaits him that doesn't end in him being a hero is as good as none.

"Dear Midoriya Izuku,

We regret to inform you that we are not able to offer you admission to the Hero course of Yuuei Academy. As you probably know, we look at each application as a whole. Admissions decisions are based on a composite of information including your previous academic performance, entrance exam scores, and quirk potential.

Your application file was considered in detail by me and by the faculty members in your area of interest. The number of applications we received far exceeded the number of students we are able to accept, and so we had to make very difficult admissions decisions. Each application is considered in relation to other applications in the same area and only the very top applicants are admitted. Your application, considered as a whole, was not as strong as some of the others we received.

Although I must regretfully send you an unfavorable response to your application, I appreciate your interest in our program and I certainly wish you the best for your future work. Course applications for the general education, support, and management departments are still open, and we encourage you to apply for them.

Yours truly,
Nedzu
Principal of Yuuei Academy"

And just like that, Izuku's fate is sealed by the fancy Yuuei wax stamp that closes the envelope that lies torn on his desk.

He is particularly hung up on two of the words. "Quirk potential." Izuku has a whole lot to not like about himself, but he doesn't lack confidence in his academic ability. He knows that it wasn't his academic performance that got him rejected. After all, he consistently ranks second in his classes when it comes to scores, coming only behind Kacchan. So that is what it is, Izuku thinks. At the end of the day, it always comes back to him being quirkless. To his "condition".

Izuku grabs the envelope on his desk and crunches it into a tiny ball along with the letter, before throwing the ball into the trash can under his desk. He goes to sleep early that night, too early for his mother to even call him down for dinner.

If she is going to ask him what is wrong, then Izuku won't have an answer for her. He did apply to Yuuei without actually informing her of it, after all. He had gone through all the trouble of checking for mail every day before she got home from work, and hell if he is going to let all that work be for nothing. Izuku sees the looks that Inko gave him the next day, when an entire shelf on his bookshelf was cleared and packed into a box, but she says nothing. He's glad. It is better that way for him.

His hero analysis books quickly find themselves replaced by high school-level academic books that he buys from a used book store with his allowance. Izuku just got smacked with a whole lot of reality, and a fact has finally settled itself firmly inside his mind. He is going to need to work like hell if he wants anything to come of his life. Statistics on the employment rates of quirkless folks that previously went dismissed by him are suddenly at the forefront of his mind.

Izuku briefly considers the possibility of applying for the other departments at Yuuei like his rejection letter mentioned, but it only takes a moment for him to shoot down the idea in his head. He mainly wants to go to Yuuei because it is where All Might had gone, and it is the best heroics school that can be found in Japan. There really isn't a point in attending if it isn't the heroics department that he's entering. The other departments of the school are definitely underestimated, but they aren't for him. The support and management departments are for people who know what they are going to do for their entire lives. The general education department is an option, but there are other courses in the nation that are much more academically-oriented and better suited for Izuku. What's the point, anyways, if he isn't going to be a hero?

He could apply to other heroics courses after being rejected from Yuuei, but the problem is that he can't. Yuuei is one of the more progressive heroics schools, having a clause that explicitly opens the doors of the school to quirkless applicants. Though the clause is most certainly geared towards other departments of the academy, it is definitely there, and it says nothing about quirkless people being unable to enter the heroics course. The few heroics schools that allow quirkless students either closed the window for applications already or have a very low rate of students who graduate to get their pro hero license.

All that is left for him to do is study until his fingers drip with blood, and pray that it will be enough to get him into a decent high school.

The rest of Izuku's days in middle school are spent with his head down, as he jots something down into his first few books of his new "Academic Notes for the Future" series. Just like that, Izuku stops existing to his classmates. It is amazing what putting your head down and not challenging the natural order of the world can do for you. Days spent hurrying home and taking the little first aid kit out from under his bed slowly turn into days spent at a quiet place to work, until eventually, bruises stop accumulating across his arms and his legs altogether. (He doesn't need Kacchan telling him to dive off of a tall building, anyways. Izuku has enough of those thoughts to make up for it.)

His hard work can't keep the crushing weight that presses down on him. A dream so long held, a hope that is so woven into his soul, all ripped out of his hands until the only thing he can do is actually accept reality. Some nights, Izuku can barely hold himself together. In fact, he usually can't manage to hold the last threads of his composure together, and takes only five minutes of looking up at the ceiling of his room for him to burst into silent sobs. Meals are more often spent staring listlessly at the food on his plate than actually eating what is there. Izuku wants to make it up to his mom for making her worry so much, but he doesn't know how.

Reality is a bitter drink, and hell if Izuku isn't choking on it. He had ignored it for far too long, and it is time for him to acknowledge the truth. He is no hero, and he never will be. He just lacks the potential. He doesn't even know why he thought he even had a chance, when the only thing he did to try to compensate for his lack of quirk was foster a rabid fanaticism for heroism and quirks. (He hates the idea of compensation.) It is in these last months of his middle school life that his future shifts from the path of the hero to the path of the citizen.

Finally, all of his hard work studying comes to fruition. Hibiya High School certainly isn't one of the best schools he could've gone to, but it is certainly exceptional in its own right. When he breaks the news to his mother, she erupts into tears, and gives him a strong hug. It is only natural for Izuku to follow her lead. The Midoriya household is filled with sounds of loud blubbering that night.

When they finally pull away from each other, Inko is the first to speak. "Oh, my Izuku, I'm so proud of you."

"I know, mom," Izuku responds sheepishly, looking down at the floor with a smile and rubbing the back of his neck.

He is no longer sure of what he wants to do with his life, but Izuku is starting to think that maybe this path is right for him. It might just be worth the pure relief that is buried deep within his mom's warm green eyes. Izuku knows the exact reason that it's there, and he tries his best to not be hurt.

The school Izuku is going to is a school known for the large amount of students who pass through it to go to university. In the past years, that number has decreased, but it still has an impressive educational program. Part of its pure academic focus is largely due to the fact that it is one of the few high schools that existed in the pre-quirk era. Quirk discrimination policies from back then persisted for far too long. By the time it caught up with the rest of the world and realized that quirks were becoming the norm, it was too late to catch up to other heroics courses, so Hibiya High School decided to stick with what it knew best. For a quirkless student like Izuku, it's perfect.

The last days of his middle school years fly by, and he can't be gladder to leave his middle school behind.

It is a relatively quiet dinner when Inko finally brings it up. "Izuku, we're moving." Izuku chokes on a piece of fish, making an indecipherable noise of confusion as his mother forges onwards. "You know, I just think it's safer for you if we moved closer to your school. Then I wouldn't be so worried about you taking the train..." She has her hand on her cheek, distractedly staring at the rice she's pushing around on her plate.

"But-," Izuku starts, before Inko silences him with the watery look in her eyes.

"Izuku, please let me do this. I can't rest easy knowing that my child is in danger every time he goes to school and leaves." It's been like this ever since the slime villain attack. His mom's already above average level of worrying over him only seemed to increase exponentially.

There are many things that Izuku wants to point out to her. The fact that he had been attacked by the slime villain when he was walking home. That she had let him walk back and forth from his middle school alone, even in the months after. After seeing her worry herself down to the bones over him, though, he stops himself. Izuku owes her at least this. So he nods, and the two of them leave the conversation at that.

Three weeks later, Izuku and Inko stand in front of the Bakugous household. "Izuku," his mom says softly, "could you ring the doorbell?" Izuku looks at her, and then at the doorbell. There is a moment of hesitation that passes, but he does as she says.

"Katsuki, get down here!" The familiar voice of Bakugou Mitsuki yells, as the door swings open. She turns towards the open door with a huff. "Hey, Inko. Izuku." She looks at the flowers in Izuku's hands and shakes her head, "Honestly, Inko, you don't have to bother with flowers. That's kind of our job. Not that I expected differently." The empty vase she gestures to behind her is a testament to Inko and Mitsuki's familiarity with one another.

Izuku thrusts the flowers into Aunt Mitsuki's hands. Every word he has for her vanishes once he gets the chance to peer over her shoulder. Kacchan's eyes skim over Izuku, before he looks to Mitsuki. "What's De-What's he doing here?" He seems oddly subdued, no longer looking at Izuku with a dangerous fire in his eyes. Mitsuki lightly smacks Kacchan on the back of the head, "What was that for?" He yells. Oh, there's the usual rage.

"Say hello. I told you the Midoriyas would be coming for dinner!" Mitsuki's own voice raises in response to his.

Kacchan clicks his tongue, as he faces Izuku's mom. His voice is softer than before, "Thought it would just be Auntie Inko." Izuku has never really understood it, nor is he complaining about it, but there is something about Inko's presence that gives Kacchan a lot more chill than one would think him capable of. He has tried to pinpoint that look in Kacchan's eyes for years, but he can never quite understand it. Respect? Wariness? Fear? He really wants to know what exactly Kacchan sees when looking at Inko, but it's just one more question about Kacchan that will forever be left unanswered.

"Whatever," Mitsuki says, "Let's not leave these two outside. Come in."

The following dinner is just as awkward as Izuku expects. The last time the two families ate like this, with all members of the two households present, was elementary school for Izuku. The sound of eating utensils hitting plates fills the room, before the silence is finally broken.

"So, Inko." Mitsuki starts, "Where are you going to be moving?" Izuku happens to be glancing at Kacchan when she says these words, so he catches the exact moment that Kacchan freezes.

"Oh! Mie prefecture. It'll still be sort of close, but that way Izuku will be able to walk to his high school." Inko says happily.

"What the hell do you mean you're moving?" Kacchan bursts out. Izuku winces at the sound of the wooden chair screeching against the floor as Kacchan quickly stands up.

Izuku bites his lip, averting his gaze from the molten fury inside of Kacchan's eyes. "Y-y-yeah?"

"Yeah isn't an answer!"

Inko exchanges a look with Mitsuki, "Oh dear, did you not tell him?"

Masaru chooses then to announce his presence at the table, with a loud sigh, "We did. Although, perhaps he wasn't quite listening."

"When?" Kacchan hisses, falling back onto his seat and crossing his arms. "Whatever. Not like I care."

"Katsuki!" Kacchan's mother exclaims, "You've been friends with Izuku for years!"

Izuku should have realized from the start that there was no way that this dinner would end up well right from the get go. There is a reason the two families don't meet together like this anymore. But for Mitsuki to make a comment like this shows just how unaware the adults in the room are of it. The relationship between their sons is like a gnarled tree, tying itself into knots over and over and over again.

Maybe Inko had the chance to see how quickly the friendship disintegrated after Izuku was diagnosed as quirkless, but Mitsuki never did.

She won't ever get to see it, either. Not when Izuku's nails are digging into the fabric of his jeans, as he tries suppressing the tremors that wrack his body. Not when Kacchan sits across the table from Izuku, glowering as he carefully considers his next words. It is a secret of ten years, and neither is willing to reveal it. No words are spoken.

The dinner ends on this bitter note. After Inko insists on putting away the plates, the five people in the house find themselves standing in front of the Bakugou household. Hugs are exchanged, and tears are spilt. Despite it all, Izuku knows he's going to miss Kacchan. "Bye Kacchan!" Izuku tries to put on a cheerful voice, but the sniffs that follow his words don't really help his case. Izuku wipes away the tears accumulating in his eyes with the back of his wrist, and tries for it one more. "Bye!"

Izuku doesn't expect his childhood friends' next words to hold as much sentimentality as they do. "Can't even stop yourself from crying. See you, Deku." There is no anger in his words, just something softer that Izuku doesn't understand. Izuku doesn't point out the fact that they probably won't ever talk like this again. "Just watch. You'll see me on TV, and I'll be the number one hero."

"Of course." Izuku says with a smile. After all, with Izuku no longer there to stand in his way, what else is going to stop Kacchan on his raging warpath to the top? (A lot, as Izuku comes to learn.)

can u tell that idk how to write the bakugous? get ready for every character to be ooc bc i haven't read the manga since. a long time ago. yea i only really remember major events and basic character traits...that doesn't stop me from writing fanfic tho lmfao i'm a stubborn bitch

hey mom are u proud of me i only had one bad thing to say about myself in the a/n this time LOOK AT ME TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES