The Most Bizarre HP Pairing of All

[Rising to the challenge: someone asked, "What's the strangest coupling you can imagine?" Okay, I can imagine some pretty strange things.]

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Harry and Ron were sitting out by the lake, enjoying the warm spring sun. They talked about Quidditch, their summer plans, Quidditch, their hopes for Snape's early demise, and Quidditch.

As they were getting ready to go back inside for dinner, Harry spotted Hedwig flying toward them. "Gosh, I wonder if she's got mail for me! Do you think it might be a letter from Sirius?"

But Hedwig flew right over them, ignoring them completely, not stopping or even looking down. The boys could see that she wasn't carrying anything. Instead, Hedwig flew out over the lake, and started circling and hooting softly.

Just then, the giant squid surfaced, and began waving a tentacle in the air. Scared that Hedwig might get hurt, Harry picked up a stone in the grass and hurled it out at the squid, yelling, "Oi! Leave her alone, you!"

But Hedwig was undeterred by the apparent danger, and the squid ignored the stone. To Harry's and Ron's amazement, the snowy owl came in for a landing, right on top of the giant squid! The squid, in turn, raised two of its long tentacles. One of them reached up and embraced the owl, stroking her gently. The other felt its way under her tail-feathers and began twisting about.

"Eughhhh!" said Ron, horror-struck. Harry couldn't even say that much, he was too stunned.

After a minute or two, the squid removed its tentacles, and Hedwig took off from its back, flying in a wobbly pattern back towards the owlery.

"Please, Ron," gasped Harry, "don't tell Hermione what we just saw."

"Tell Hermione?" said Ron. "Words fail me! I don't even want to tell you - and I know you just saw it! I wonder if Hedwig - er - comes here often?

"Just do me a favor, Harry. If you notice Hedwig gathering straw, building a nest, laying some eggs - "

"Please, Ron, stop, I think I'm gonna be sick!" said Harry. Turning his head to a patch of grass, Harry had to close his eyes and clear his mind to keep from heaving.

END