It's hard faking it.

However, you've been black for so long, and you've killed so many of his comrades. How could he believe you, even if you told him how you really feel anyways?

You don't like hurting him.

It fills your entire being with so much grief, that you hate yourself more than you once hated him, and that's saying something.

It's confusing.

One minute you blame yourself for not telling him, and the next minute, you blame him for making you feel this red.

You've never felt red for anyone before so you don't know how you're suppose to react once you've found these feelings.

At first, you went on a rampage, a killing spree.

You were so motherfucking pissed off afterwards, knowing that killing lowbloods will only make him hate you more. However, some things can't be helped.

Whenever you have a black 'event' with him, you try to fake it as hard as you can. Luckily, he doesn't suspect anything.

However…

You can't hide how horrible you feel when you see the pain in his eyes inflicted by yourself. It's unavoidable. You hate seeing him cry when you dig your claws into his brown flushed skin. You hate hearing him whimper in fear and scream in agony. And more than anything… you HATE loosing control when you make him do these things.

If only you could just motherfucking tell him.

But…

He already has a matesprit from what you've heard. That bitch Mindfang seems to give him everything that you've failed to give him. Where you give him pain, she gives him comfort; where you slash at him, she gives him a warm embrace; where you bite down hardly on his lips and grind him into the wall, she kisses him tenderly and shares immense pleasure with him.

Summoner…

What must you do to show you can give him all the things she as presented him with, and much more?

:-:

You were sitting in your thrown room thinking about the winged brown blood, when a knock came from the large double doors down the hall from you.

"Enter." You said, keeping your tone neutral even though your blood pumper was aching.

It was none other than Neotype Redglare, one of your most trusted advisers. She walked up to the foot of your throne and bowed lightly.

"Grand Highblood, I come to you with astounding news." She said, while rising from her bow. You smiled that wicked smile you always did when you were exited about what the Neotype had to say.

"Oh, and what is it? SPEAK UP MOTHERFUCKER!" You demanded. Perhaps it was about the Summoner's current location.

"Well, Dualscar has agreed to a ceasefire for now, or until Her Imperial Condescension says otherwise. Your fellow Subjugulators are safe for now." Redglare reported, her head facing down, avoiding eye contact.

Your smile ceased, and you turned your head to the side.

"Very good. It's about time that SEADWELLING MOTHERFUCKER came to terms." You replied, still keeping a neutral tone, though you were quite disappointed that the news she brought wasn't about your kismesis. Redglare must have noticed something was up, so she asked you if you were feeling well.

"Grand Highblood, is something the matter? Are you feeing under the weather?"

"Not at all. WHY DO YOU ASK?" You countered. You really hated talking about feelings, except when Condy forced you to with her ridiculous pout-face. Even though you were her morail, you sure wish she'd back the fuck off ever now and then. Plus, she made you feel a bit uncomfortable when talking about the Summoner.

At least Redglare knew not to push you.

Maybe… you could use this opportunity to your advantage.

"Redglare." Your tone gave the message for her to stop in her tracks, as she was walking towards the double doors.

"Yes, Grand Highblood?"

"Could you…" You began, however it seemed a bit embarrassing for a Highblood to be asking a Midblood for advice on a topic. However, unless you wanted to feel REALLY uncomfortable, this was your only option. The Neotype stood in front of you waiting patiently for your request.

"Could you… discuss something with me?" You finally asked.

"Of course, sir. I'd be honored." She said with another light bow.

"Good." You said, while motioning her to sit on the armrest of your throne. She hesitated then proceeded.

It was quiet for a while. Redglare patiently sat on your throne's armrest, waiting for you to speak. Seeing how you weren't the best at starting conversations, you were very blunt when you broke the silence.

"Do you have any experience with matespritship?"

Her eyes grew wide under her glasses, you assumed, and she looked at the ground before she spoke.

"N-No sir, I'm afraid I do not. I apologize." She answered you, with a hint of sadness in her voice, probably because she thought she disappointed you. You chuckled lightly at how loyal she was; so loyal that even the thought of letting you down made her sad. Even if this wasn't the case, you still appreciated her honesty. Suddenly, her face lit up. This surprised you.

"However, I do know someone who's currently in a red relationship, and you may know her." The Neotype explained.

"Oh. In that case DO MOTHERFUCKING TELL." You said, joyed to finally hope to understand more about the redrom quadrant.

"Alright." She replied, and proceeded to telling about Deciple and Signless.

"I'm sure you know about the Sufferer and his rebellion, correct?"

"That motherfucker. Yeah, I know of him. WHAT'S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT?"

"Well, he has deep flushed feelings for Deciple, who feels the same for him." She explained.

"And how do you know of this?" You questioned.

"Sometimes when the Empress calls for me, she gossips about the two, and how their love transcends all quadrants." Redglare said.

"Really? So that mutant motherfucker found a matesprit?"

"Indeed. And they're very happy together. It's a shame that the Empress plans to separate them." She sighed at the thought of love being torn apart. You pondered this for a while before speaking once again.

"What about their flushed feelings makes it so MOTHERFUCKING SPECIAL?"

"I can't quite wrap a noose around it, but… I suppose they trust each other better than anyone else they've ever met. This is part of matespritship after all." She stated, while crossing her legs, and looing to the ceiling.

You thought about this for a few moments, then sighed sounding a bit sad. Well, that answers that. There's NO WAY Summoner will ever trust you. Unless a motherfucking miracle happens, you can kiss your red feelings for him goodbye.

"Was I of assistance to you, Grand Highblood?" She asked, breaking your think pan focus.

"Yeah. You sure motherfucking were. Thank you, Redglare. I can always count on you for assistance." You said, giving her a reassuring smirk. She cackled slightly.

"If you don't need anything else, I shall take my leave."

"Yeah. You can all up and go now." You gestured her to the doors.

"Yes sir." She replied, and hopped off your throne armrest, then left and closed the doors behind her. She knew you liked your privacy. Perhaps later on, after you get things straitened out with Summoner (if that ever happens), you'll ask her to become your morail as well. She truly knows you well enough to become a friend of yours, and not just an advisor. Yeah… you'd like that.

Time to put her advice to good use.

Looks like you have more company.

Only this time, unexpected.

:-:

Over by the balcony of your throne room, which gave you an amazing view of Alternia, stood your kismesis. And from the look on his face, he was anything but overjoyed to see you.

You sighed, and closed your eyes before standing up, not really in the mood to see him now. Not after your talk with Redglare. Even though her advice was useful, you needed time to sort through it all before confronting him face to face.

"Highblood." He said, as if greeting you, but his tone spoke otherwise. You have a feeling you know what this is about.

"Summoner." You greeted in return, only your tone sounded bored, and uninterested in whatever the lowblood rebellion leader had to say.

He approached you unafraid. That's one of the things you admired most about him. He was so confident in himself, that even if he was killed, he'd probably end up dying with a mocking smirk on his face. That's how confident the motherfucker was. And you loved him for more reasons than this. Sadly, you don't think he'll ever know them. He marched right up to you, and looked you dead on in your painted face.

"When will it stop?" He asked. You were right. You do know what he wants to talk… or rather accuse you of. But you didn't do it this time. Like he'll believe that. You looked back at him, not amused. However, in your mind you wondered the same thing. When will it stop? When will all this guilt and hate cease?

"I know what you're here for motherfucker, and even if you hate and don't belive me, I didn't kill that village of lowbloods. It was Dualscar. He agreed to a ceasefire with me, and knowing him, HE ALWAYS NEEDS TO ALL UP AND SCREW UP SOMETHING. His royal ass was probably thirsty for action, so he went of and KILLED SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS." You explained. At first, Summoner was taken aback by your words. As much of a decent explanation it was, his expression turned from shocked to that of a mocking one. He laughed in disbelief.

"I never thought I'd say this to a Highblood, especially not you, but you're right. I don't believe you. From my observations, Dualscar wouldn't even think of dirtying his hands with us, and the Empress is busy tracking down Mindfang. Darkleer busies himself with making weapons all day, so from where you stand, you're the only other possible suspect." The Summoner confidently countered what he viewed as your excuse. Only, it wasn't an excuse. It was the truth and he ,no doubt, doesn't trust you one little bit. This crushed your blood pumper. You could definitely wave your flushed feelings goodbye.

If only you could just get him to sit the fuck down and listen to you! But those gog-damned wings of his always worked against you.

Unless…

"What's wrong, Highblood? Feeling guilty? You should damn well be." He said, with a hint of anger to his tone.

He had no idea. You feel guilty as fuck right now, and you decided you'd tell him that be it the easy way, or the hard way.

Your mind is made up. You're going to confess. Right. The. Fuck. Now.

:-:

Summoner didn't expect what you were about to do.

You lunged at him, pining him to the ground. There's no way he can use his wings now. You've got him. You've finally motherfucking got him right where you want him.

Your eyes flashed bright red instantly. Partly out of victory of catching him, and partly out of frustration. You were frustrated that it's taken you so long to pull your shit together and do this. This caused you to growl at him, baring your fangs and getting all up in his face. His eyes showed hatred, yes, but there was something else that reflected in his brown orbs. Was that… fear?

Then you realized what you just did.

Oh.

Fuck.

No no no no no no NO!

MOTHERFUCK! NO!

This isn't what you FUCKING WANTED! You're only making him hate you and fear you more than he has previously. This isn't the right way to go about redrom shit. It should be clean and honest, like Redglare was with you. You need to be the same way with him. WHAT'S MOTHERFUCKING WRONG WITH YOU?!

You released him quickly, and backed away. He, of course, was confused about your sudden action.

There was a long pause between the both of you. While you were backed up against your throne, he took a sitting position on the ground, where you previously held him down. You don't think you've ever seen him more confused since you first crossed paths with him.

"Fuck." You said aloud, and covered your face with both hands. You began to feel warm tears collect at the sides of your eyes. Was this how bad you were hurting? Hell if you knew, but there was NO WAY you are crying in front of him. Why couldn't you just… say it.

"Fuck."

:-:

"Highblood?" The Summoner spoke in a low tone, which showed a hint of… concern? He got up, and slowly approached you. You still had your hands over your face, crouched up against your throne.

"Grand Highblood?" He spoke once more, this time sounding more concerned. He was three feet away from you when suddenly, he backed away some.

"This better not be a fucking joke. If it is, I have my weapon ready." He said. You chuckled darkly at this. What's the point? He'll never take you seriously. You've been black for so damn long…

"Like you'll believe me even if I said it was." You sighed in sadness. Standing from the foot of your throne, you turned away from him, so he won't see your indigo colored tears. There goes your face paint.

The Summoner remained quiet for a while. You're guessing he's thinking one of two things: 1) Your bullshitting him. 2) He's stunned at you being so out of character. You don't blame him for thinking those things either.

"Even though you've slaughtered many of my team mates, even if you're a heartless killer… give me one good reason why I should believe you. Then maybe… I will." He spoke, walking towards you once again.

Shit.

This is it.

He's giving you a chance, and there is no way in Alternia you're messing it up.

But you were nervous as much as you were sure of this.

Ignoring his previous complaint about the village of lowblood, you focused on how red you feel for him, and … how much pain you'll feel if you're rejected.

Nonetheless, you suck it up, and come strait out.

:-:

"I'm so disgustingly, utterly, deeply, truly red for you… Summoner. I can't MOTHERFUCKING HIDE IT ANYMORE. I've tried. I'VE FUCKING TRIED! But I… can't. You said, finally loosing it.

You let the tears fall.

Once again Summoner remained silent. When he spoke, he sounded… different.

"N… No way."

What.

"No way you feel red for me."

No.

"There's… no way."

The Summoner fell to the floor in a sitting position, probably rubbing his temples.

"Fuck." He sighed.

Fuck.

A/N: Next Ch/Final Ch is coming very soon. This pairing is the shit! :D