I do not own Adventure Time, otherwise it'd only be all about Marceline and Bonnibel 'cause I'm an avid Bubbline fan, yo.

Content/Trigger warnings: bad language, mentions of abuse, depression, self-harm, attempted suicide, repressed memories, and other implied things

You promised to meet up with Phoebe someday back in March because she missed you. And you knew she had already been eager to spend some time together since last year. You actually haven't had time to hang out for around five years because you went to a different university. And because the city was cursed with traffic every day, you found that it was too much of a hassle to go out.

She occasionally texts you when you least expect it. You don't want to have a conversation because the past gets inevitably brought up, and yet you reply anyway. And you know you've always dug your own grave when you're the one who accidentally slips not-so-subtle hints about the past. And almost every single time, you felt guilty. You always knew she was hoping you get the tip that she unmistakably drops off in your conversation that she missed you and wants some catching up. But you slyly avoid it with all the promisingly believable excuses you could throw at her.

You had been hoping not to see her again because you think that she's going to kill you if she finds out that you two had loved the same person. Actually, you definitely know that she already knows, and that's probably entirely why she wants to meet up to mangle you, maybe even blame you for the reason she and Bonnibel had drifted apart. But at the back of your mind, you felt like you were just thinking too much and being all dramatic about it because your brain is an asshole and your imagination was fucked up like that.

It's June already and you had hoped to continue delaying meeting up with her, but you know you can't always avoid the past. You felt even guiltier that it was only about a week ago, you stayed over at Bonnie's house for two nights with some fresh revelation that a few years ago, your own best friend Phoebe had been abusive towards Bonnie, more than what you could ever know or imagine.

You were completely aware of the abuse, partly because you were there when it started during high school and partly because of the gossip flying around with your other mutual friends during college. But you simply chose to ignore it since you're not directly involved when you currently go to a different university far from theirs. During all the drama happening there, you could even count the times you've gone to their campus on one hand, maybe even just three fingers. So you entirely didn't know how serious it was until Bonnibel had elaborated it personally for you just recently about what had happened not-so-recently, roughly four years ago.

So on the morning that you were finally going to meet up and have lunch at a Mexican-inspired restaurant, you try to visualize that you'll be able to remain composed like you usually are, despite having a bad feeling that this might turn out to be painfully awkward.

Since you thought there would be traffic due to the road repairs on the way there, you went out early but it actually wasn't, and so you apparently arrived thirty minutes early. You spent your time idly at a music store nearby until it was almost twelve noon. Phoebe just sent you a text that she was on her way and was just going to park her car. You had a feeling of both surprise and disapproval. You didn't know she now drives a car, or the fact that she even owned a car, and at that moment, you disapprove in your mind the idea of texting and driving. You shove your phone back in your pocket and walked towards the direction of the restaurant.

You definitely still know what she looks like, especially when she was active on Facebook. But you were still a tad bit nervous since you just don't know how much a person could change after half a decade. You walk inside the restaurant and you felt relief when you immediately recognized the redhead seated in the middle of the restaurant. Phoebe waves her hand and smiles at your direction as you move towards her and you return the smile, probably awkwardly.

You stand near the table not knowing if she'd stand up to greet you with a hug, like she always does back in high school. But after a second, you realize she wasn't going to, so you move the chair and sat down not expecting what's going to happen now.

A waiter comes up and gives you the menu. You asked her bluntly, and probably still awkwardly, if this was a treat or were you going to pay for your own meals. You both agreed to pay for your own meal, and it made sense. You were both still students who didn't have any income.

After the waiter took your orders, the two of you were left to talk in the privacy of your own table. She doesn't seem like she's changed at all, but the past between her, Bonnibel and you says otherwise. You wanted to know her side of the story with Bonnibel.

You'd listen carefully and sometimes throw questions about how she feels about the whole situation. She answers vaguely and then throws back questions that she thinks might never be answered when it concerns Bonnie but you relatively give her probable answers when you also knew her part. You managed to slip into the conversation your recent relationship. Phoebe now completely asked for the details since you knew you had mentioned it last year on a very brief note. And so, before you delve your talk more about her and Bonnibel, it seems like you had to share your own story when you accidentally mentioned about your ex-girlfriend, Fionna.

You met Fionna two years ago in the same university and became really good friends with her in just a few months. A year ago, she finally helped you get over your pining for Bonnibel. It was actually the first time you had finally shared this to someone else and you got out of the closet. Barely two months after that, you started dating Fionna. But you weren't going to tell Phoebe that part.

You only told Phoebe that you dated and broke up with Fionna just a year ago. You two had different perspectives but had surprisingly never argued. The only reason you broke up was because she feels that the relationship was too platonic and so she decided to end the not-so-romantic relationship, civil and peacefully. You both continued to remain as friends until now.

But that's just bullshit. Deep inside you, despite acting all cool, calm and collected, she definitely broke your heart. But you decided you won't accept that you were heartbroken in your first relationship because you felt like you were already too broken from being friend zoned by Bonnibel. During college, for four years straight every year of trying your luck with Bonnie, she had definitely already broken your heart for rejecting your romantic feelings for her. So when Fionna had broken up with you, you know you're already broken to a point that you were never able to shed a tear.

It was now Phoebe's turn as you asked her the full story of what had happened between her and Bonnibel. You were worried that Phoebe was still under depression that you learned of just a few years ago through Bonnie, and you ask if she was still taking medication. You felt relief when she said she had finally stopped taking them last year, and all thanks to Cinna. Cinna is her amazing girlfriend that Phoebe met two years ago and made Phoebe get her shit together as a person.

You tactfully reminded her of how she had abused Bonnibel in the past, and had wondered how she was doing with her current girlfriend, Cinna. You snickered at the fact that Phoebe said she was submissive towards Cinna, thinking that Phoebe should have been the dominant. But you know despite as aggressive as she looks, Phoebe was tame, definitely whipped for her girlfriend, and their relationship was going smoothly for two years already.

Phoebe hasn't lifted a finger at Cinna. She treated Cinna like a goddess, compared to what she's done to Bonnie, who wasn't even officially her girlfriend or rather, who wouldn't be her girlfriend. You accepted that it's inevitable that they now hate each other, or at least it's only Bonnie who hates Phoebe for what she'd done to her. Bonnibel was a traumatized victim of Phoebe's violence. You silently had mixed feelings as the only one who remained their closest friend for both Phoebe and Bonnibel, yet the two aren't even as good as friends.

Because you realized there was no awkwardness that you previously had imagined from the start you know full well that you can speak of anything and it wouldn't leave any hard feelings.

You then remind her that on the last year of high school, she had almost committed suicide during a school trip which caused a commotion.

Phoebe was irked how the two of you will never reach the end of each other's story when you kept drifting back and forth from college to high school, and in a friendly manner, you just found her restlessness entirely endearing. You were both laughing together at the current mess, laughing just like old times.

Replying to what you had just previously mentioned about high school, she then stated that she doesn't entirely remember anything. She particularly feels guilty and regretful for abusing Bonnibel during college, but apparently, she can't apologize for something she has no memory of.

In a split second, you recalled what Bonnie had mentioned almost a similar thing when you slept over at her place. She said her memory isn't as sharp as before, she was starting to be forgetful a few years after the incident had died down. And it was also the same as what had happened to your childhood memories – forgotten.

Your childhood wasn't entirely the best. It was the worst. You were bullied by a boy whose name you could never forget, Ash. You resent the name with your whole being with the way he ganged up on you with other kids and treated like you were some kind of monster just because you were deathly pale and wore the girl's school uniform even though you looked like a boy. He was the cause of your social anxiety disorder. And now, you were only living peacefully because you had forgotten mostly about the incident and it now seemed like it was a memory from a previous lifetime, vague. But as it was something that had been a part of your life, what the experience had done to you as a person and made you feel could never be forgotten. It clicked what the three of you had in common – everyone had repressed their memories.

You mention to Phoebe that Bonnie was also starting to try to repress some memories. You're not a medical or a psychology major but you had once learned about it and so you bet that trying to forget the past would still have an impact on the forgetfulness of the present, probably.

You then shrugged off the entire thought aside and tried to get Phoebe back in track and start talking again about what exactly happened because the conversation went astray when you talked about forgetting memories.

Phoebe asks you how much you already know since you know she knows you would presumably ask Bonnibel about it. You tell her that when you ask Bonnie, most of the time it isn't sequential just like how the two of you right now are attempting to make this conversation in a chronological order, and failing miserably at it, which silently, sadistically amuses you because you're a butt and you don't mind things being messed up.

So Phoebe tells her story that on her part. She was lead on by Bonnibel. Phoebe had started to have violent tendencies of verbally attacking other friends because of her jealously during the last year of high school. You mentioned that at some point she was really mad at you because she got jealous, especially during the school trip when you and Bonnie shared the same bed. It prompted her to do self-harm, and during that night at the hotel room, she even made a suicide attempt. She mentioned she doesn't recall being mad at you at all, but had remembered the attempt because she retained her thankfully-minor injury on the head. To your horror, she was laughing it off and you were left to gape there for a moment.

You internally face palm at her laid-back attitude right now since what you guys were talking about isn't supposed to be just laughed off like that. These are topics are supposedly hard to bring up, entirely because these are some serious shit in reality. But maybe you just knew that her personality is hard-wired as defense mechanisms of coping. And you just instinctively know because you do the same thing. So you just let your own perspective of an outsider slide off. You know your own best friend. But right now, you sure don't know in full detail what happened between her and your beloved Princess.

You weren't surprised that Phoebe thought they were a thing. But you were definitely surprised when she mentioned that the Bonnie you knew had made a move. Bonnibel kissed Phoebe. And you were certainly not expecting that your straight crush wasn't straight at that moment, especially when it didn't even stop at just kissing. A relatively small but silent jealousy rose inside of you as you had been glowering at Phoebe while she was talking about it but you certainly remained your composure and brutally shoved the thought away before you act all weird about it.

You were then told that when she was struggling to know where the two of them stand, out of fear of being apart, Phoebe had transferred to the same university just to be with Bonnie. And then jealousy took its course in a twisted way. When boys like Finn and Jake approached Bonnie, the blame now turned towards the person of affection, and she was accusing her of seducing them. The latter part of information was from Bonnie but when you asked Phoebe about it, she doesn't recall anything anymore except for transferring, and of course the abuse.

Then Phoebe suddenly mentioned about Bonnibel's boyfriend, Marshall Lee. She said that there was a time that she and Marshall had argued and trash talked each other online. While she was left to elaborate on that story, you were left in the privacy of your own mind to drift into thinking about other things.

You internally grimaced at how similar the first part of your names was pronounced. If a letter n were to be added at the last part of his name, it definitely sounded like your name being cooed, Marshall Leen. And you absolutely hated it. You were apparently endearingly called like that by some friends during high school and it never bothered you until now, at least not until you learned about his existence.

You apparently first met him at a music store you love hanging out. Bonnibel was just passing by when she saw you. You immediately recognized her standing outside of the store and you greeted her with a magnificent smile only to scowl right in front of Bonnie when your eyes landed at the person beside her, her boyfriend. The animation of your face in just a few seconds had amused Bonnibel but you sure weren't amused to be meeting him. You remember being in a bad mood for the next few days.

Bonnie once had an assumption that you liked him because you kept asking what he was like. Your only intention was to check if he was the right one for her. When you read that message, you felt like you just wanted to throw your phone because that wasn't the point. You had to reiterate yet again to Bonnie that she was the one you like.

But he wasn't a bad guy at all and you knew it. Back when you attended Bonnie's graduation last year, he was also there. And surprisingly enough, you and Marshall certainly had more things in common than Bonnibel could ever imagine.

But you also knew you were only trying to be civil to Marshall just because he was Bonnie's boyfriend, and that they've been going out for four years already and there was nothing bad that you've heard of him do to her. At least not like what your best friend Phoebe had done to Bonnie.

He's been on and off from college, and sometimes doing different part time jobs. Bonnibel's finished her medical course on time and graduated last year, and is currently proceeding to a higher degree. They have entirely different backgrounds but both contrast the other's personality in a seemingly perfect way, despite how much you don't want to accept that and the thought had always made you cringe.

Then, you finally decided that you're going to be honest about your feelings about meeting Phoebe. You told her that you were guilty since its feels like betrayal because you have feelings for Bonnie. The two of you always had feelings for her. But now you knew you were the only closest friend that Bonnie has because Phoebe had driven them away. And now Phoebe and Bonnibel aren't even in good terms anymore.

Phoebe laughed and said that she had known from the start that you had feelings for Bonnie. But now, all Bonnibel meant to Phoebe was that she was someone from the past. You internally wince that this might be painful for Bonnie if ever she hears this.

You add that you've know Bonnie for a year longer than Phoebe. As you said that, you recall that you've been friends with Bonnibel since fifth grade. You met Phoebe a year later, and the two of them weren't friends until eighth grade, and it was also entirely because of you.

Phoebe competitively adds that the two of you were closer even though you met a year after her, and you're the only one that's more of a friend than Bonnibel. You snapped and sent a glare at Phoebe without any genuine anger. And with mock fury, you told her that's absolutely not what Phoebe said to you when she was in love with Bonnie. Another second later, the two of you were laughing.

You also add another part of the story when you remember a recent conversation with Bonnie just barely a month ago. Bonnibel thought that since you were in love with her, she was hopeful that you would take her side and defend her against Phoebe. But that would entirely mean also losing Phoebe as your friend. And it does not entirely mean that you'd win her favor, because she had already rejected you. Why would you defend a friend just to lose another friend? You were entirely passive about the whole situation and it had hurt your dear friend, Bonnie with harsh vengeance. In your defense, you were already rejected so why would you even take the risk when you already know that you are not the one who holds Bonnibel's heart. It was Marshall Lee who now holds it.

You turn the conversation back to Phoebe and her girlfriend, Cinna. You had the intention of knowing the juicy details and she saw through you when you tried to delve deeper with not-so-subtle innuendos. It amuses you that despite how Phoebe seemed intimidating, with her fiery personality, she's a fun-loving sweetheart. That is, if your judgment wasn't clouded by the things she'd done to Bonnie.

So you then ask how they got together. Cinna was the one who initiated it with a sudden kiss because she had a feeling that Phoebe was gay. It both surprises and amuses you even more when Phoebe affirmed she does not have any gaydar whatsoever because for you, you know you can tell. Apparently, Phoebe was too shocked to form any eloquent statement and Cinna almost walked out thinking that it was a mistake. Phoebe had to grab her to straighten this out. They were both not straight.

You had talked to Phoebe for two hours inside the restaurant. In the beginning, all you wanted to do first was to enjoy the food before continuing your discussion but because Phoebe had been really excited to talk even when your meal had already been set on the table, you apparently had to gracefully multi-task both eating and talking.

Afterwards, the two of you paid for your own bill and then walked around the mall. You continue talking but with less depressing stories about the past. A few minutes past three in the afternoon, you reluctantly parted ways and realized how it had been fun talking with an old friend.

You went home and talked to Bonnie about meeting with Phoebe. And it turned out it wasn't a nice conversation like all the conversations that had involved her.

You messaged Bonnibel on Facebook that you finally met up with Phoebe. You told her a few days ago as a heads up because you certainly thought Phoebe was going to maul you and maybe someone should know who the prime suspect should be in case you suddenly disappear. But for sure, you weren't going to mention your morbid joke that you made yourself.

You told Bonnie that you learned her side of the story. And even though you were just chatting, you were pretty sure you could feel Bonnie scoff.

You felt that she was starting to feel sour so you decided to put off the conversation for another day but you mentioned it might not be as accurate anymore because you know you're forgetful, and you know she knows you're forgetful. But then she takes your evasion differently and thinks that you just don't want to tell her about it.

She now suddenly sends a lot of chat messages about how she was treated like shit and was called a bitch, for how many times, you wouldn't even know or imagine and you didn't dare ask. You know she's just ranting but you also know you managed to press her into this again. You utterly felt terrible knowing that this was mistake on your part.

You tried to turn the conversation away from Bonnie by talking about Marshall and how you didn't like to hear him trash talk about your friend when you were right there. You just were just being honest about it, but you fall into more despair when your plan backfired because now she thinks you're defending and taking Phoebe's side. For the first time, you actually thought that this might be the end of your relationship with Bonnibel. You've settled for just being friends just to have them in her in your life, even though you had loved her for over a decade. But occasionally, you think you're being a burden by being an inconsiderate friend when you've done nothing but possibly trigger Bonnibel with unwanted memories with your friendship with Phoebe whenever you talk about her.

The topic thankfully died down when you decided you had to end it by saying that you'll stop talking about it now. You knew Bonnie understood, so she also stopped. The tone in her latter messages had also softened up a bit and it relieved you.

The conversation turned a bit too sappy for you when you turned into a sap by telling Bonnibel that you'd rewrite the definition of best friend in her life. Bonnie and Phoebe were nothing more than best friends back in high school and what Phoebe had done to her had completely soiled the meaning of that relationship. You and Bonnie were nothing more than friends and you know she implicitly refused to call you anything other than that.

You two will be nothing more than just friends. And you accept that fact because you also had a share of regrets of not doing anything to stop Phoebe. Surely, you've talked to her about it back in high school, but you've also been busy dealing with your own shit that there was no way of knowing what was going on at another college campus far from the university you go to. And now you're here, finally knowing the leftovers.

And then Bonnibel said something next that completely took you off guard. She had always considered you as a best friend – at least, on the inside. She then sends you a screenshot that read:

"Ever love someone so much, you'll settle for being friends just to have them in your life?"

It was shared on Facebook by a mutual friend from high school and you'd guess it appeared on her news feed right now because you just saw it yesterday. And then she apparently took a screenshot of it and sent it to your messenger.

You sent her the same picture that you saved in your phone and mentioned that Bonnie was the one you thought right away when you saw it. You smile to yourself as it warmed up your heart knowing that you do mean something in her life even if your relationship with Bonnibel isn't as intimate as her relationship with Marshall. It wasn't so bad that you're just friends.

You could feel her amusement when she's guessing that right now, you were so happy about it you were sparkling like a vampire from Twilight.

And you definitely don't mind she could read the different shades of you.

Extra story

One of the features that Facebook messenger has is the nicknames you could change and give to the other person.

You recently just removed the nicknames you endearingly endowed on her and yourself a month ago. The nickname you gave her was Princess Bonnibel and Marceline Abadeer for yourself. Now you changed them back to your own real names.

And she definitely noticed it.

THU 06:54 PM received

Why'd you change it?

THU 06:55 PM sent

It's weird. because I ship them. I don't ship us.

They're the cause of my dreams.

Fiction should remain fiction in my head.

THU 06:57 PM received

You don't ship us… anymore

Lol

AN: My first ever finished fanfiction is a portion of my life and the events that were mentioned were definitely not fiction at all. They certainly happened in real life. I wrote this on the following night right after I met up with my friend on June 9.

I'm sorry if it was hard to follow because I don't entirely remember how my conversation particularly flowed, especially when we weren't even speaking in English, but it was surely just as messy as this. It's a conversation between friends after all, it's meant to be all over the place. Heh.

This is the first and last time that I'm going to write fanfiction of my Bubbline ship that isn't Bubbline canon. Because I'm definitely hardcore for the pairing. And so I've only started to go and try writing, and well, I've been told you first start writing what you know.

This was still an attempt but someday I'd also want to make some squeal-inducing fanfictions.

I've requested a Bubbline AU that I definitely wanted to read, so if any of you Bubbline fans out there would want to read something kinky go check out "Experiments With Girls" written by the lovely author, Plesiosaur. And "40 Weeks" is also really nice.

Thanks for reading!