Now He's Dead, Now He's Not.
*****************************
The Toys in Andy's room were woken up to the sound of hammers and
construction work downstairs. Hammers banged, bricks clanked, mortar was
slopped. Something was going on down below that they were not informed of.
Andy woke up as the sound of voices floated in through the door. He sat up
and cocked his head towards the door perking his ears so he could hear
better.
"Battle stations!" he cried playfully as he sprang out of bed, "We're under
attack by Emperor Zurg!" he ran to the door and flung it open.
Buzz opened one eye from where he was on the book shelf and looked around
for an attacking enemy.
Andy went to the banister and looked over at the workers. Construction
material was all over the living room floor.
"Mom, what's going on?" he called from the top of the stairs down to his
mother who was directing the traffic of wheel barrows in the living room.
"We're getting a fireplace!" Mrs. Davis called up at her son, "Why don't
you come down and get some breakfast!" even with all the hustle and bustle
she could still have time to prepare a nice morning meal.
"OK! Be right down!" Andy closed his bedroom door and ran down to eat
breakfast.
No sooner was that door shut did everyone spring to life.
Woody yawned from his position on top pf the bed and stretched his long
arms, "Good morning everybody," he said rubbing the nights sleep from his
eyes.
Buzz got up on his elbows behind his back and slid out from under the book
he had been using as a blanket.
"Good morning Woody," Buzz said groggy. He was not a morning person. "Well
if I have to get up you have to also, come on Jess wake up babe," he nudged
the sleeping red head gently with his hand to get her to wake up from under
the book.
Jessie got up but she was still thinking she was in last night. She jolted
up and tackled Buzz back down to the bookshelf top and frenched him good.
"Come on Buzz, take me to infinity and beyond," she muttered. Everyone
looked at them.
"Whoa, Buzz, didn't you get enough last night?" Woody winked.
"At least I'm getting some," Buzz sneered up at the cowboy, "Your
girlfriend's dead remember?" Buzz smiled mischievously.
Woody became jealous and held up his hand flipping Buzz the middle finger,
"Fuck you!"
Buzz was full of sarcastic remarks early in the morning, "Well yeah duh!
That's what it's all about, me getting fucked."
Woody turned around and walked away.
Buzz looked at everyone looking at him and was embarrassed beyond belief.
He pried Jessie off of his body, as much as he hated having to do that. "No
Jessie, it's morning sweetheart."
Jessie opened her eyes and blinked a few times with a blank expression on
her face. Buzz sat himself up and looked at her sheepishly. Jessie's face
went sleepy and she slid down his chest dragging her hands behind her and
lied her head on his thigh.
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Well we gotta get up. Andy doesn't take long to eat breakfast," Buzz
warned. Andy could chug down a whole meal in record time.
Jessie just lied there getting her senses back while Buzz teased her hair
with his fingers. He liked to run his fingers through her soft, red, yarn
hair.
She looked up at him, "Can I sit on your lap?" she asked just to be funny,
she knew perfectly well that she could just about do anything to him.
"I'd cry if you didn't!" Buzz said as Jessie sat on his lap and lied back
into his arms, she yawned, "I could stay here all day."
Well that wasn't going to happen because Andy busted through the door. All
toys froze as Andy got dressed for a days worth of playing. Andy played in
his room until the workers left on their lunch break. Andy took Buzz,
Jessie, Woody, and a few other toys down to the livingroom to play. The
room was dusty with saw dust and cement. Bricks littered the floor, there
were stacks of them everywhere you looked.
"Perfect!" Andy said as he got an idea. "This looks like the episode,,
Ancient Evil, with Natron the Space Mummy!" Andy set up the toys and
started to act out his favorite episode of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.
Woody was Natron and Buzz was...Well Buzz was Buzz.
"That sounds like duel laser cannons in planet devastation mode," he voiced
Buzz, "In other words it's Warp Darkmatter!" Mr. Potatoehead with one arm
wrapped in tin-foil, played the infamous smooth criminal/space pirate. Andy
started kicking over piles of bricks as Planet X was destroyed. But the
young boy neglected to notice where he had left Buzz. As one of the brick
towers crashed down a brick fell in the direction of the spaceman. Buzz saw
it coming but Andy was watching the doomsday brick fall and so he was
forced to remain still as it crashed right on him. All went black for Buzz.
The last thing that was heard from his speaker was, "I come in peace," as
the brick smashed hit buttons.
Jessie, who was lying on her stomach, did not see the brick smash Buzz. But
the snapping of plastic and the fritzing of wires was enough to tell her
something had happened. She wanted to get up and see if he was OK but
before she could Andy grabbed Buzz's body and went crying to his Mother.
"Mom!" Andy cried through tears.
"What is it Andy?!" she spun on her heel thinking her son was hurt, but
instead found him holding the mangled figure of Buzz Lightyear. "Oh honey!
What happened to Buzz?" she said scooping up her crying son into her arms
to comfort his sobs.
"I...I.. was playing," he found it hard to talk as his throat swelled with
tears.
In the family room the toys who had survived sprung to life as soon as they
heard what Andy had said about Buzz. Jessie was first to the scene. She was
looking for Buzz but all that was there were a few scraps of plastic that
had been broken off his uniforms. Jessie tugged her braid as she stared at
the pieces. She gasped for air as she looked over the shards. She didn't
know weather he was dead or hopefully alive. That's what scared her, the
unknown. Woody was next to assess the damage. He looked it over and didn't
say a word. He looked at Jessie.
"He's alright, isn't he?" Jessie asked Woody.
"Yeah Jess, sure, he's alright," Woody didn't want to tell her what he
really thought. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but Jessie retreated
shaking him off. She didn't want anyone to touch her unless it was Buzz,
and that didn't look like it was going to happen.
She went to her knees and scooped the pieces into her arms and drew them to
her chest and cried.
************
Andy came back in the room and picked up all his toys before something
could happen to them and slowly went to his room, along with the lifeless
body of Buzz. He set Buzz on the bed, not ready to throw his favorite toy
out just yet. He set the others on the desk and then went back down stairs
to pick up the bricks he knocked over.
The toys all came to life. The couldn't believe the news. Was Buzz really
dead? He couldn't be, right? They all gathered on the floor around the bed.
No one could bring themselves to look at the mess of plastic and electronic
components that used to be Buzz Lightyear. It was Jessie who finally
stepped forward and climbed up to see. As she climbed she found it
difficult to do so as she was afraid of what would be waiting for her. What
horrible scene of death awaited her? She decided to start climbing down but
she found herself standing on the bed spread staring at the mangled body of
Buzz. She gasped and put a hand over her mouth as she slowly and
unwillingly approached the corpse of her fallen hero.
"Buzz?" she called to him quietly as she stood beside him. He didn't
answer. His eyes were and there was a gaping hole in his chest. One arm
detached and his leg was barley connected to his knee. He was missing
extensive amounts of his body frame that was lying in chunks at his side.
he was presumably dead. Jessie kicked him softly in the left flank with her
boot, the way she always did when she had woken up before he did. No
response, he just swayed back and forth on his back from the kinetic energy
of her foot to his body. She got down on her knees beside him and shook his
shoulder vigorously, tears swelled in her green eyes, like pools of lake
water flooding up.
"Buzz wake up," no response, "Buzz please! You gotta get up!" she started
crying, "Buzz, please, I love you," she stopped shaking him and placed a
hand to his cheek. She drew it back to her quickly because he was ice cold.
All warmth was gone from him. She realized then that he was deceased. There
would be no more nights snuggling up to him and wrapping his big arms
around her sharing hot, passionate kisses just to keep herself warm on
those frost bitten nights. She broke down and cried the Atlantic Ocean. She
lied down beside him and buried her face in what was left of his chest and
wrapped his one remaining arm around her and cried herself to sleep.
*******************
When Buzz awoke he was in an unfamiliar place. White walls surrounded him.
He was on soft ground. Buzz stood up and looked around.
"I've seemed to have crash landed on a strange planet," he said looking
around at the bright white lights and the misty haze. He looked at his feet
and hopped, it seemed to be a cloud. "Terrain seems a bit unstable," he
said confused and then looking down at himself, "Where the hell is my
uniform!" he found himself in a white toga. He then remembered the brick,
the white lights leading him through a tunnel, and then now, "Am I dead?"
An angel appeared to him, "Well of course you are numbskull," the little
winged man said. He slapped a halo over Buzz's head and flipped a switch
making it glow bright. "Welcome to Toy Heaven." the angel guided Buzz
along. Buzz looked around confused. "This is where all toys go, who have
served their children and fellow toys well, when their batteries have
expired.
"So Bo Peep isn't here I take it," Buzz said grinning happily.
"No she's not, that would be Toy Hell where she is," the Angel replied. He
brought Buzz to a podium where there were giant golden gates behind it. He
thumbed through a guest book and found Buzz's name. "Ah here we go! Buzz
Lightyear, number 1068." he closed the book and smiled down at Buzz,
'Welcome to heaven." the gates started to open.
Buzz didn't want to be there, he wanted to be back alive, with Jessie. "No,
no! I can't be dead! I need to go back!: he said as he threw off his halo
to the cloudy ground and started grabbing around his back for his wings.
"But you can not go back Mr. Lightyear 1068," the angel told him, "You were
scheduled to die, there is no returning, your body is in pieces beyond
recognition!"
Buzz threw himself at the podium and put his hands on the edge of it
hanging on, he looked up into the angels face disparately. "Can't I get a
new body?"
"Well..." the angle thought it over.
"Please, I just need to see my Jessie again,"Buzz pleaded.
"But I can't send you back just because you were in love," the angel
started to push Buzz through the big gates, once past the threshold there
was no returning.
"It's not just that!" Buzz held his ground firmly, "She needs me. Knowing
the horrible fate I suffered would send her into maniac depression, she'll
wither away and die," Buzz didn't want his beloved Jessie to die of a
broken heart. The angle stopped pushing to listen to his plea. 'She's lost
so much already, everyone she ever cared for has left her. I was the only
one left to take care of her. I don't want her to be alone anymore."
The angel was moved by the selfless Space Ranger's speech. He couldn't say
no. "Your wish will be granted," he said. Buzz's face lifted and he was
happy. The halo and wings disappeared and the toga was gone leaving him in
his old uniform again.
"Thank you," Buzz said as he started to descend back to Earth.
"I warn you though. You can never return here. Once you go back to Earth
and die again you must go to hell," the angel made his point clear as a
spring day. Buzz gulped, he knew that there he would be in eternal
damnation with Bo Peep. And then he was gone.
******************
In Al's Toy Barn the chubby owner was just closing up shop for the day. And
down in the Buzz Lightyear aisle one very special Ranger was awakening. The
eyes of Buzz became alive. He gasped for air as he found himself on Earth
embodied in a New Buzz Lightyear.
"Oh great!" Buzz rolled his eyes, "I'm back in the Damn Fucking box again!
You know you could have at least made me the display case Buzz!" he cursed
the sky as he struggled to break free of his twist tie bonds. He kicked and
swayed and fought until at last he was free. He looked around making sure
the display Buzz didn't see him. He recalled the trouble that loon caused
last time he was here. Buzz made it past the guards and was free. He
unlatched the door and stood in the empty parking lot, "To Jessie, and
beyond!" Buzz began his journey across town.
*********************
Andy came back to the room earlier that day and reluctantly threw Buzz in
the trash can. He had never anticipated the moment when he would be forced
to toss his favorite hero out into the garage. The toys watched through the
window as Andy carried the garbage containing Buzz's limp body out to the
garage. When it was over they sadly peeled themselves from the window one
by one. Jessie was last to leave the window. Her head bowed in woe for her
lost love. As she crossed the floor her boot kicked something white and
plasticy. She looked down to see it was a scrap of Buzz that had fallen
off. She stooped down and picked it up. She rolled it over in her hands, "I
know where this came from," she half smiled, "Id know this chunk anywhere,"
she sighed, "It came from his ass." The piece that she held did indeed once
cover Buzz's backside. "He had such a nice ass," she sighed heavily as she
held tight to the piece of booty. "No more pinching Buzz's butt now," she
stopped there and sat on the rug in the middle of Andy's room. She kept the
piece of Buzz in remembrance of him. It was all that was left.
"Hey cowgirl, what you doing all by your lonesome?" a voice said from
behind Jessie.
The startled cowgirl jolted, "Hu? What?!" she saw Woody standing over her,
"Oh Woody," she breathed a sigh of relief that it was somebody she knew. "I
was just remembering about Mr. Shiny, I mean Buzz! I was remembering about
Buzz," she let his nick name slip. She had many nick names for him but this
one came to mind first.
Woody nodded, but he wasn't there to comfort her, he was there to put the
moves on her.
"You know, we're the same, you and I," Woody pointed back and forth from
Jessie to himself with his finger. Jessie looked at him weird, why would he
say that? "You know, both our loved ones are killed," Woody sat down and
put a wandering arm around her. 'So what do you say we hook up?" Woody
said. Jessie sat up frightened and angry. Woody was putting the moves on
her! He didn't even care about Buzz, or how she might be dealing with the
pain of his loss. He just wanted to get off.
"You sick crazy bastard!" Jessie kicked Woody in the nuts hard with the tip
of her boot leaving him on the floor in pain. The crazy cowboy soon got
enough balls together to crawl away.
Jessie started running towards Andy's door. She needed to get away from
EVERYTHING! Everywhere she turned she saw bricks. On book covers, the three
little pigs in their house of BRICKS. The Lego house made to look like
BRICKS. Andy had a picture he drew of a BRICK house. She ran out into the
hall and saw the livingroom floor covered with BRICKS. She screamed
terribly at the sight of BRICKS everywhere she went. She couldn't escape
the killer of Buzz. She ran back into Andy's room and locked herself in the
closet. Clutching the scrap of Buzz's butt and crying uncontrollably.
Jessie didn't come out of that closet for a matter of three long days. She
didn't come out and no one went in after her. They had all figured she was
dead along with Buzz. That she had died of a broken heart. They forgot the
cowgirl in the closet and went on with their lives until a person thought
to be dead arrived on the window sill on faithful afternoon while Andy was
at school. Buzz stood on the sill and they all stared jaws dropped at the
spaceman back from the dead. They couldn't believe what they were
witnessing.
"Buzz? Is that you?" they all asked as they crowded around the anomaly.
They all said it couldn't be but yet here he was. Buzz looked down at
everyone and the jumped to the floor. Woody gulped at the sight of Buzz
being back. If Jessie told him about the hooking up thing he was a dead
man. Woody linked away. Buzz's first words were, "Where's Jessie?"
The toys all looked at each other no knowing what to tell their returned
leader. That what? She was dead and he could have met her back up there
before leaving? No it wasn't time to ruin Buzz's new life just yet. They
all made a path to the closet and Buzz knew where he would find her. Buzz
walked quickly to the closet door and flung it open. There was Jessie still
where she lay three days ago, and still crying. Buzz almost stared crying
himself at the sight of her. He put a hand on her shoulder and then
embraced her. "Don't cry Jessie. I'm back I won't leave you ever again." he
kissed her neck.
Jessie got up and pushed Buzz off of her. She looked at the confused man
who was above her and couldn't believe her eyes. It couldn't be him, he was
dead. She was scared. "No! You're not Buzz! Buzz's dead! A piece of plastic
in my hand!" she showed him the chunk. She backed into a corner away from
him. "Go away! You aren't real!!"
Buzz was hurt, but why was he expecting her to just come back into his
arms? He knew that a dead man come to life was a little freaky. But how to
make her see? He inched towards her with his arms outstretched. "Jessie, it
is me, I swear it's me. I'm your Buzz."
"My Buzz is dead," she said dejectfully to him as she sat wadded up in the
corner of the closet. "I know, I saw his dead body," she said as she
started to cry remembering the sight of it, "He was in a million pieces,
there was nothing left of him. "I watched as he was thrown in the trash,"
she looked up with cold eyes at Buzz. "You aren't Buzz."
Buzz could see why she didn't believe him, she had been through a lot these
last few days.
"This," she held out to him the piece of plastic for him to see, "Is all
that is left of him," she got up and walked towards him in a threatening
manner, waving the piece of Buzz's old body in his face, "This IS Buzz, NOT
YOU!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Buzz went to her and wrapped
his arms around her. She struggled to get loose from his grip, she pounded
her fists on his chest, kicked his shins, but nothing to her avail. Buzz
wasn't letting go of her. The more she struggled the tighter he hugged her.
And the more she screamed at him to let her go. "You stupid asshole! Let me
go damn it!!!!!"
Woody was outside hearing this and got a smile as he heard Jessie yelling
obscenities at Buzz. He knew that the screaming she was doing this time was
not because her and Buzz where having a 'good time'. He stepped in through
the closet smiling, "You heard the lady, unhand her. She doesn't love you
anymore, she loves me." Woody lied to Buzz and Jessie.
Jessie stopped her fighting and grabbed onto Buzz now not wanting him to
let go, "I changed my mind, don't let go." she didn't want Woody to get a
hold of her.
By Jessie's actions he knew that Woody was making something up. "Get out of
here Woody. I would like to be alone with my girl."
Jessie got an idea, she still didn't believe just yet if he was her Buzz or
not, "Darling, if you are really my one true love, Buzz Lightyear, then you
would kill Woody." she gave him a challenge of worth to complete.
"What! Kill my best friend? Why?" Buzz didn't want to kill Woody, even
though he had really pissed him off. He figured they could talk this out
peacefully. But then again he did want Jessie back. "I..I don't know."
"Listen, as soon as he knew you were dead he didn't waste any time moving
in on your territory,"Jessie scolded Buzz. "He didn't care about you or
anyone else, is that a friend?" she looked into Buzz's eyes. He searched
his mind and found the answer, he decided to kill Woody. He looked up from
Jessie and then at Woody with an evil glance. Jessie smiled and kissed
Buzz's chin, "Welcome back hun."
Woody gulped as he knew his fate was sealed. If Buzz ever got his hands on
him he was doomed. Woody started running for the closet door, but Buzz was
faster and he grabbed Woody by the pull-string and yanked him back.
"Where do you think you're going?" Buzz said as he strung Woody's
pull-string around his own neck. Woody tried to stop Buzz's hands from
tying the noose around his neck. "Why don't you try and get it on with your
own girl next time?' Buzz asked.
"But she's dead remember? You said it yourself that you were the only one
getting any sex in this house," Woody said as he choked in the noose.
"Precisely," Buzz hissed in Woody's ear, "You'll soon be together again, IN
HELL!" Buzz dragged Woody out by his pull-string noose kicking and
screaming. He grabbed at the string to get loose but Buzz was good at tying
hangmen's nooses. Jessie strode up to Buzz lovingly and snuggled up beside
him as they walked. Buzz put an arm around her like a dove puts a
protective wing over it's mate.
"I knew you'd come back!" Jessie said, "I knew all along."
"Yes of course you did, that's why you fucking yelled at me, and kicked and
punched me," Buzz was still a little sore about all that fuss she put up.
"Oh Buzz, you know I'll make it up to you tonight," she said luring.
"Oh ho ho yeah baby!" he howled like a wolf. Buzz drug Woody up to the top
of the desk. He tied the end of Woody's pull-string to the desk lamp and
turned it so it was hanging over the edge of the window. He pushed woody to
the edge. The cowboy looked out over the edge of the two story high window.
He knew he was going to die also. Buzz and Jessie stood behind him and all
of a sudden Buzz pushed Woody sending him spiraling down. The cord all of a
sudden snapped and woody hung there. It was a few seconds before the
cowboys oxygen and blood supply dwindled enough to kill him. Woody was
dead. But that just wasn't enough for Buzz. He saw Mrs. Davis pulling into
the driveway after bringing Andy home from school. Buzz untied the
pull-string and Woody hit the pavement just in time to be ran over by the
wheels of the Davis family van.
The Davis' heard a crunch as they ran over Woody's big head with the van.
"What was that?" Andy asked his mom.
Mrs. Davis shrugged. They both shrugged it off and got out of the van not
noticing the crushed Woody doll under the tires.
**************
Jessie put her arms around Buzz's waist and he put his arms around her
shoulders.
"You passed the test, Mr. Shiny," she said and kissed him.
Buzz knew he was back in good graces with Jessie, and things would be as
they were. "Sooooo, about tonight." he started, " did you polish them blue
jeans? Because I can see myself in them, grrrrrr." he raised a hand and
smacked her ass.
Jessie jumped but laughed, "I can say the same for you," she reached behind
him and pinched his butt, "Oh how I missed doing that to you. Anyways about
that question, if you keep looking hard enough you will find them on the
floor." Buzz went for her but she put a hand to his face and stopped him.
"Not until tonight."
"Ohh! But I just got back from the dead!" he whined.
"Listen unless you wanna go back there I suggest you put a restraint on
that thing and wait," she threatened him.
"Ok point made," he smiled. "It's great to be back with you again."
"And I am greatfull to have you back with me."
*********
That night some pretty funky things went on in the toy box while Andy was
asleep. What could be clearly heard was, "Yeah Buzz! TO INFINITY AND
BEYOND!!!!"
The end
*****************************
The Toys in Andy's room were woken up to the sound of hammers and
construction work downstairs. Hammers banged, bricks clanked, mortar was
slopped. Something was going on down below that they were not informed of.
Andy woke up as the sound of voices floated in through the door. He sat up
and cocked his head towards the door perking his ears so he could hear
better.
"Battle stations!" he cried playfully as he sprang out of bed, "We're under
attack by Emperor Zurg!" he ran to the door and flung it open.
Buzz opened one eye from where he was on the book shelf and looked around
for an attacking enemy.
Andy went to the banister and looked over at the workers. Construction
material was all over the living room floor.
"Mom, what's going on?" he called from the top of the stairs down to his
mother who was directing the traffic of wheel barrows in the living room.
"We're getting a fireplace!" Mrs. Davis called up at her son, "Why don't
you come down and get some breakfast!" even with all the hustle and bustle
she could still have time to prepare a nice morning meal.
"OK! Be right down!" Andy closed his bedroom door and ran down to eat
breakfast.
No sooner was that door shut did everyone spring to life.
Woody yawned from his position on top pf the bed and stretched his long
arms, "Good morning everybody," he said rubbing the nights sleep from his
eyes.
Buzz got up on his elbows behind his back and slid out from under the book
he had been using as a blanket.
"Good morning Woody," Buzz said groggy. He was not a morning person. "Well
if I have to get up you have to also, come on Jess wake up babe," he nudged
the sleeping red head gently with his hand to get her to wake up from under
the book.
Jessie got up but she was still thinking she was in last night. She jolted
up and tackled Buzz back down to the bookshelf top and frenched him good.
"Come on Buzz, take me to infinity and beyond," she muttered. Everyone
looked at them.
"Whoa, Buzz, didn't you get enough last night?" Woody winked.
"At least I'm getting some," Buzz sneered up at the cowboy, "Your
girlfriend's dead remember?" Buzz smiled mischievously.
Woody became jealous and held up his hand flipping Buzz the middle finger,
"Fuck you!"
Buzz was full of sarcastic remarks early in the morning, "Well yeah duh!
That's what it's all about, me getting fucked."
Woody turned around and walked away.
Buzz looked at everyone looking at him and was embarrassed beyond belief.
He pried Jessie off of his body, as much as he hated having to do that. "No
Jessie, it's morning sweetheart."
Jessie opened her eyes and blinked a few times with a blank expression on
her face. Buzz sat himself up and looked at her sheepishly. Jessie's face
went sleepy and she slid down his chest dragging her hands behind her and
lied her head on his thigh.
"Ugh, I'm so tired though."
"Well we gotta get up. Andy doesn't take long to eat breakfast," Buzz
warned. Andy could chug down a whole meal in record time.
Jessie just lied there getting her senses back while Buzz teased her hair
with his fingers. He liked to run his fingers through her soft, red, yarn
hair.
She looked up at him, "Can I sit on your lap?" she asked just to be funny,
she knew perfectly well that she could just about do anything to him.
"I'd cry if you didn't!" Buzz said as Jessie sat on his lap and lied back
into his arms, she yawned, "I could stay here all day."
Well that wasn't going to happen because Andy busted through the door. All
toys froze as Andy got dressed for a days worth of playing. Andy played in
his room until the workers left on their lunch break. Andy took Buzz,
Jessie, Woody, and a few other toys down to the livingroom to play. The
room was dusty with saw dust and cement. Bricks littered the floor, there
were stacks of them everywhere you looked.
"Perfect!" Andy said as he got an idea. "This looks like the episode,,
Ancient Evil, with Natron the Space Mummy!" Andy set up the toys and
started to act out his favorite episode of Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.
Woody was Natron and Buzz was...Well Buzz was Buzz.
"That sounds like duel laser cannons in planet devastation mode," he voiced
Buzz, "In other words it's Warp Darkmatter!" Mr. Potatoehead with one arm
wrapped in tin-foil, played the infamous smooth criminal/space pirate. Andy
started kicking over piles of bricks as Planet X was destroyed. But the
young boy neglected to notice where he had left Buzz. As one of the brick
towers crashed down a brick fell in the direction of the spaceman. Buzz saw
it coming but Andy was watching the doomsday brick fall and so he was
forced to remain still as it crashed right on him. All went black for Buzz.
The last thing that was heard from his speaker was, "I come in peace," as
the brick smashed hit buttons.
Jessie, who was lying on her stomach, did not see the brick smash Buzz. But
the snapping of plastic and the fritzing of wires was enough to tell her
something had happened. She wanted to get up and see if he was OK but
before she could Andy grabbed Buzz's body and went crying to his Mother.
"Mom!" Andy cried through tears.
"What is it Andy?!" she spun on her heel thinking her son was hurt, but
instead found him holding the mangled figure of Buzz Lightyear. "Oh honey!
What happened to Buzz?" she said scooping up her crying son into her arms
to comfort his sobs.
"I...I.. was playing," he found it hard to talk as his throat swelled with
tears.
In the family room the toys who had survived sprung to life as soon as they
heard what Andy had said about Buzz. Jessie was first to the scene. She was
looking for Buzz but all that was there were a few scraps of plastic that
had been broken off his uniforms. Jessie tugged her braid as she stared at
the pieces. She gasped for air as she looked over the shards. She didn't
know weather he was dead or hopefully alive. That's what scared her, the
unknown. Woody was next to assess the damage. He looked it over and didn't
say a word. He looked at Jessie.
"He's alright, isn't he?" Jessie asked Woody.
"Yeah Jess, sure, he's alright," Woody didn't want to tell her what he
really thought. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but Jessie retreated
shaking him off. She didn't want anyone to touch her unless it was Buzz,
and that didn't look like it was going to happen.
She went to her knees and scooped the pieces into her arms and drew them to
her chest and cried.
************
Andy came back in the room and picked up all his toys before something
could happen to them and slowly went to his room, along with the lifeless
body of Buzz. He set Buzz on the bed, not ready to throw his favorite toy
out just yet. He set the others on the desk and then went back down stairs
to pick up the bricks he knocked over.
The toys all came to life. The couldn't believe the news. Was Buzz really
dead? He couldn't be, right? They all gathered on the floor around the bed.
No one could bring themselves to look at the mess of plastic and electronic
components that used to be Buzz Lightyear. It was Jessie who finally
stepped forward and climbed up to see. As she climbed she found it
difficult to do so as she was afraid of what would be waiting for her. What
horrible scene of death awaited her? She decided to start climbing down but
she found herself standing on the bed spread staring at the mangled body of
Buzz. She gasped and put a hand over her mouth as she slowly and
unwillingly approached the corpse of her fallen hero.
"Buzz?" she called to him quietly as she stood beside him. He didn't
answer. His eyes were and there was a gaping hole in his chest. One arm
detached and his leg was barley connected to his knee. He was missing
extensive amounts of his body frame that was lying in chunks at his side.
he was presumably dead. Jessie kicked him softly in the left flank with her
boot, the way she always did when she had woken up before he did. No
response, he just swayed back and forth on his back from the kinetic energy
of her foot to his body. She got down on her knees beside him and shook his
shoulder vigorously, tears swelled in her green eyes, like pools of lake
water flooding up.
"Buzz wake up," no response, "Buzz please! You gotta get up!" she started
crying, "Buzz, please, I love you," she stopped shaking him and placed a
hand to his cheek. She drew it back to her quickly because he was ice cold.
All warmth was gone from him. She realized then that he was deceased. There
would be no more nights snuggling up to him and wrapping his big arms
around her sharing hot, passionate kisses just to keep herself warm on
those frost bitten nights. She broke down and cried the Atlantic Ocean. She
lied down beside him and buried her face in what was left of his chest and
wrapped his one remaining arm around her and cried herself to sleep.
*******************
When Buzz awoke he was in an unfamiliar place. White walls surrounded him.
He was on soft ground. Buzz stood up and looked around.
"I've seemed to have crash landed on a strange planet," he said looking
around at the bright white lights and the misty haze. He looked at his feet
and hopped, it seemed to be a cloud. "Terrain seems a bit unstable," he
said confused and then looking down at himself, "Where the hell is my
uniform!" he found himself in a white toga. He then remembered the brick,
the white lights leading him through a tunnel, and then now, "Am I dead?"
An angel appeared to him, "Well of course you are numbskull," the little
winged man said. He slapped a halo over Buzz's head and flipped a switch
making it glow bright. "Welcome to Toy Heaven." the angel guided Buzz
along. Buzz looked around confused. "This is where all toys go, who have
served their children and fellow toys well, when their batteries have
expired.
"So Bo Peep isn't here I take it," Buzz said grinning happily.
"No she's not, that would be Toy Hell where she is," the Angel replied. He
brought Buzz to a podium where there were giant golden gates behind it. He
thumbed through a guest book and found Buzz's name. "Ah here we go! Buzz
Lightyear, number 1068." he closed the book and smiled down at Buzz,
'Welcome to heaven." the gates started to open.
Buzz didn't want to be there, he wanted to be back alive, with Jessie. "No,
no! I can't be dead! I need to go back!: he said as he threw off his halo
to the cloudy ground and started grabbing around his back for his wings.
"But you can not go back Mr. Lightyear 1068," the angel told him, "You were
scheduled to die, there is no returning, your body is in pieces beyond
recognition!"
Buzz threw himself at the podium and put his hands on the edge of it
hanging on, he looked up into the angels face disparately. "Can't I get a
new body?"
"Well..." the angle thought it over.
"Please, I just need to see my Jessie again,"Buzz pleaded.
"But I can't send you back just because you were in love," the angel
started to push Buzz through the big gates, once past the threshold there
was no returning.
"It's not just that!" Buzz held his ground firmly, "She needs me. Knowing
the horrible fate I suffered would send her into maniac depression, she'll
wither away and die," Buzz didn't want his beloved Jessie to die of a
broken heart. The angle stopped pushing to listen to his plea. 'She's lost
so much already, everyone she ever cared for has left her. I was the only
one left to take care of her. I don't want her to be alone anymore."
The angel was moved by the selfless Space Ranger's speech. He couldn't say
no. "Your wish will be granted," he said. Buzz's face lifted and he was
happy. The halo and wings disappeared and the toga was gone leaving him in
his old uniform again.
"Thank you," Buzz said as he started to descend back to Earth.
"I warn you though. You can never return here. Once you go back to Earth
and die again you must go to hell," the angel made his point clear as a
spring day. Buzz gulped, he knew that there he would be in eternal
damnation with Bo Peep. And then he was gone.
******************
In Al's Toy Barn the chubby owner was just closing up shop for the day. And
down in the Buzz Lightyear aisle one very special Ranger was awakening. The
eyes of Buzz became alive. He gasped for air as he found himself on Earth
embodied in a New Buzz Lightyear.
"Oh great!" Buzz rolled his eyes, "I'm back in the Damn Fucking box again!
You know you could have at least made me the display case Buzz!" he cursed
the sky as he struggled to break free of his twist tie bonds. He kicked and
swayed and fought until at last he was free. He looked around making sure
the display Buzz didn't see him. He recalled the trouble that loon caused
last time he was here. Buzz made it past the guards and was free. He
unlatched the door and stood in the empty parking lot, "To Jessie, and
beyond!" Buzz began his journey across town.
*********************
Andy came back to the room earlier that day and reluctantly threw Buzz in
the trash can. He had never anticipated the moment when he would be forced
to toss his favorite hero out into the garage. The toys watched through the
window as Andy carried the garbage containing Buzz's limp body out to the
garage. When it was over they sadly peeled themselves from the window one
by one. Jessie was last to leave the window. Her head bowed in woe for her
lost love. As she crossed the floor her boot kicked something white and
plasticy. She looked down to see it was a scrap of Buzz that had fallen
off. She stooped down and picked it up. She rolled it over in her hands, "I
know where this came from," she half smiled, "Id know this chunk anywhere,"
she sighed, "It came from his ass." The piece that she held did indeed once
cover Buzz's backside. "He had such a nice ass," she sighed heavily as she
held tight to the piece of booty. "No more pinching Buzz's butt now," she
stopped there and sat on the rug in the middle of Andy's room. She kept the
piece of Buzz in remembrance of him. It was all that was left.
"Hey cowgirl, what you doing all by your lonesome?" a voice said from
behind Jessie.
The startled cowgirl jolted, "Hu? What?!" she saw Woody standing over her,
"Oh Woody," she breathed a sigh of relief that it was somebody she knew. "I
was just remembering about Mr. Shiny, I mean Buzz! I was remembering about
Buzz," she let his nick name slip. She had many nick names for him but this
one came to mind first.
Woody nodded, but he wasn't there to comfort her, he was there to put the
moves on her.
"You know, we're the same, you and I," Woody pointed back and forth from
Jessie to himself with his finger. Jessie looked at him weird, why would he
say that? "You know, both our loved ones are killed," Woody sat down and
put a wandering arm around her. 'So what do you say we hook up?" Woody
said. Jessie sat up frightened and angry. Woody was putting the moves on
her! He didn't even care about Buzz, or how she might be dealing with the
pain of his loss. He just wanted to get off.
"You sick crazy bastard!" Jessie kicked Woody in the nuts hard with the tip
of her boot leaving him on the floor in pain. The crazy cowboy soon got
enough balls together to crawl away.
Jessie started running towards Andy's door. She needed to get away from
EVERYTHING! Everywhere she turned she saw bricks. On book covers, the three
little pigs in their house of BRICKS. The Lego house made to look like
BRICKS. Andy had a picture he drew of a BRICK house. She ran out into the
hall and saw the livingroom floor covered with BRICKS. She screamed
terribly at the sight of BRICKS everywhere she went. She couldn't escape
the killer of Buzz. She ran back into Andy's room and locked herself in the
closet. Clutching the scrap of Buzz's butt and crying uncontrollably.
Jessie didn't come out of that closet for a matter of three long days. She
didn't come out and no one went in after her. They had all figured she was
dead along with Buzz. That she had died of a broken heart. They forgot the
cowgirl in the closet and went on with their lives until a person thought
to be dead arrived on the window sill on faithful afternoon while Andy was
at school. Buzz stood on the sill and they all stared jaws dropped at the
spaceman back from the dead. They couldn't believe what they were
witnessing.
"Buzz? Is that you?" they all asked as they crowded around the anomaly.
They all said it couldn't be but yet here he was. Buzz looked down at
everyone and the jumped to the floor. Woody gulped at the sight of Buzz
being back. If Jessie told him about the hooking up thing he was a dead
man. Woody linked away. Buzz's first words were, "Where's Jessie?"
The toys all looked at each other no knowing what to tell their returned
leader. That what? She was dead and he could have met her back up there
before leaving? No it wasn't time to ruin Buzz's new life just yet. They
all made a path to the closet and Buzz knew where he would find her. Buzz
walked quickly to the closet door and flung it open. There was Jessie still
where she lay three days ago, and still crying. Buzz almost stared crying
himself at the sight of her. He put a hand on her shoulder and then
embraced her. "Don't cry Jessie. I'm back I won't leave you ever again." he
kissed her neck.
Jessie got up and pushed Buzz off of her. She looked at the confused man
who was above her and couldn't believe her eyes. It couldn't be him, he was
dead. She was scared. "No! You're not Buzz! Buzz's dead! A piece of plastic
in my hand!" she showed him the chunk. She backed into a corner away from
him. "Go away! You aren't real!!"
Buzz was hurt, but why was he expecting her to just come back into his
arms? He knew that a dead man come to life was a little freaky. But how to
make her see? He inched towards her with his arms outstretched. "Jessie, it
is me, I swear it's me. I'm your Buzz."
"My Buzz is dead," she said dejectfully to him as she sat wadded up in the
corner of the closet. "I know, I saw his dead body," she said as she
started to cry remembering the sight of it, "He was in a million pieces,
there was nothing left of him. "I watched as he was thrown in the trash,"
she looked up with cold eyes at Buzz. "You aren't Buzz."
Buzz could see why she didn't believe him, she had been through a lot these
last few days.
"This," she held out to him the piece of plastic for him to see, "Is all
that is left of him," she got up and walked towards him in a threatening
manner, waving the piece of Buzz's old body in his face, "This IS Buzz, NOT
YOU!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. Buzz went to her and wrapped
his arms around her. She struggled to get loose from his grip, she pounded
her fists on his chest, kicked his shins, but nothing to her avail. Buzz
wasn't letting go of her. The more she struggled the tighter he hugged her.
And the more she screamed at him to let her go. "You stupid asshole! Let me
go damn it!!!!!"
Woody was outside hearing this and got a smile as he heard Jessie yelling
obscenities at Buzz. He knew that the screaming she was doing this time was
not because her and Buzz where having a 'good time'. He stepped in through
the closet smiling, "You heard the lady, unhand her. She doesn't love you
anymore, she loves me." Woody lied to Buzz and Jessie.
Jessie stopped her fighting and grabbed onto Buzz now not wanting him to
let go, "I changed my mind, don't let go." she didn't want Woody to get a
hold of her.
By Jessie's actions he knew that Woody was making something up. "Get out of
here Woody. I would like to be alone with my girl."
Jessie got an idea, she still didn't believe just yet if he was her Buzz or
not, "Darling, if you are really my one true love, Buzz Lightyear, then you
would kill Woody." she gave him a challenge of worth to complete.
"What! Kill my best friend? Why?" Buzz didn't want to kill Woody, even
though he had really pissed him off. He figured they could talk this out
peacefully. But then again he did want Jessie back. "I..I don't know."
"Listen, as soon as he knew you were dead he didn't waste any time moving
in on your territory,"Jessie scolded Buzz. "He didn't care about you or
anyone else, is that a friend?" she looked into Buzz's eyes. He searched
his mind and found the answer, he decided to kill Woody. He looked up from
Jessie and then at Woody with an evil glance. Jessie smiled and kissed
Buzz's chin, "Welcome back hun."
Woody gulped as he knew his fate was sealed. If Buzz ever got his hands on
him he was doomed. Woody started running for the closet door, but Buzz was
faster and he grabbed Woody by the pull-string and yanked him back.
"Where do you think you're going?" Buzz said as he strung Woody's
pull-string around his own neck. Woody tried to stop Buzz's hands from
tying the noose around his neck. "Why don't you try and get it on with your
own girl next time?' Buzz asked.
"But she's dead remember? You said it yourself that you were the only one
getting any sex in this house," Woody said as he choked in the noose.
"Precisely," Buzz hissed in Woody's ear, "You'll soon be together again, IN
HELL!" Buzz dragged Woody out by his pull-string noose kicking and
screaming. He grabbed at the string to get loose but Buzz was good at tying
hangmen's nooses. Jessie strode up to Buzz lovingly and snuggled up beside
him as they walked. Buzz put an arm around her like a dove puts a
protective wing over it's mate.
"I knew you'd come back!" Jessie said, "I knew all along."
"Yes of course you did, that's why you fucking yelled at me, and kicked and
punched me," Buzz was still a little sore about all that fuss she put up.
"Oh Buzz, you know I'll make it up to you tonight," she said luring.
"Oh ho ho yeah baby!" he howled like a wolf. Buzz drug Woody up to the top
of the desk. He tied the end of Woody's pull-string to the desk lamp and
turned it so it was hanging over the edge of the window. He pushed woody to
the edge. The cowboy looked out over the edge of the two story high window.
He knew he was going to die also. Buzz and Jessie stood behind him and all
of a sudden Buzz pushed Woody sending him spiraling down. The cord all of a
sudden snapped and woody hung there. It was a few seconds before the
cowboys oxygen and blood supply dwindled enough to kill him. Woody was
dead. But that just wasn't enough for Buzz. He saw Mrs. Davis pulling into
the driveway after bringing Andy home from school. Buzz untied the
pull-string and Woody hit the pavement just in time to be ran over by the
wheels of the Davis family van.
The Davis' heard a crunch as they ran over Woody's big head with the van.
"What was that?" Andy asked his mom.
Mrs. Davis shrugged. They both shrugged it off and got out of the van not
noticing the crushed Woody doll under the tires.
**************
Jessie put her arms around Buzz's waist and he put his arms around her
shoulders.
"You passed the test, Mr. Shiny," she said and kissed him.
Buzz knew he was back in good graces with Jessie, and things would be as
they were. "Sooooo, about tonight." he started, " did you polish them blue
jeans? Because I can see myself in them, grrrrrr." he raised a hand and
smacked her ass.
Jessie jumped but laughed, "I can say the same for you," she reached behind
him and pinched his butt, "Oh how I missed doing that to you. Anyways about
that question, if you keep looking hard enough you will find them on the
floor." Buzz went for her but she put a hand to his face and stopped him.
"Not until tonight."
"Ohh! But I just got back from the dead!" he whined.
"Listen unless you wanna go back there I suggest you put a restraint on
that thing and wait," she threatened him.
"Ok point made," he smiled. "It's great to be back with you again."
"And I am greatfull to have you back with me."
*********
That night some pretty funky things went on in the toy box while Andy was
asleep. What could be clearly heard was, "Yeah Buzz! TO INFINITY AND
BEYOND!!!!"
The end